₦airaland Forum

@Oromitope26:

I have modified my post.

Thankd

Nice one Mercy....

You're becoming another Omotola

anonimi:
Abeg na since when google map dey work for Naija?
Abi na im you dey use for your motor car?

Very very very interesting thread

eddiebruk:

Very true

And that's the foundation of evil in-lawism.

craziebone:
@mindfulness, i tink we should ive up on this issue of no emperical proof to show that men are better at anything more than women. The truth is, there are countless evidence unless we choose to ignore it just to make ourselves feel better. The reason why it can be a bit difficult for some people to accept this fact is because the stems, which require analytical skills, are what's toping te world today and are the biest earners. This whole thin is all about power.

Well. Below is a link for you to read. If you disagree with te method they used to come about this findin, well, it is in your court to present your objection and show that they are superior to the arguement given herein. I agree we shouldn't harp so much on this so as not to discourage ladies, but c'mon, we cannot deny nature.

http://www.theguardian.com/science/2013/dec/02/men-women-brains-wired-differently

Are STEMs really the top earners today?

I would have thought people in showbiz, politics (Nigeria), investment banking were the top earners.

This thread will make an interesting one

oromitope26:
Good morning,

I've been in this relationship and all has been exceptionally beautiful but for my mother-in-law to be. She has this habit of asking me to borrow her money even though she knows am not working yet and then tell me not to tell her son that its a deal between me and her.

This issue is bothering me and I don't know how to stop it. She is a civil servant just like my parents and the two families kind of know each other but not close.

Sometimes 2013 she called my mum to borrow her a certain amount, when my mum told me I immediately told her not to 'cos its a very bad and shameless attitude. Mum felt doing it will be a good thing, after all said she didn't return the money up till date and never called to talk about it. I really felt bad because my mum kept on telling me everyday that she is shameless. I wanted to tell my fiance but I know he will feel so bad.

Last year she called me again that I need to borrow her a certain amount and her son should not know but I told her I don't have. This morning again she called me that she needs to travel urgently and needs money, she said she can't tell her son because he sent money not quiet long and I should not tell him, I just told her immediately that I don't have cos am not working and she said no problem

I don't know if I should call my fiancee attention to this, it is a very bad habit and to me it should not be heard of self, but I know he will feel so bad and confront her. What should I do? She is so nice except for this money ish

Please advice, sorry for the long post.

Cc: Bukatyne,Please advice a sister.

Modified

Dear OP,

Happy Sunday.

You said your families are a little bit close.... can you ask your parents What they really know about your MIL to be?

Do you have an idea of the amount of money she earns and your guy gives her?

If she is So comfortable asking you for secret money when you are not working, What happens when you start earning?

I also find it strange that she has the impetus to collect from a future inlaw (your mother) without returning it or an apology.

Until you know What is really going on, don't marry into that family.

And I don't agree with the idea of not telling your guy. If you both are really going to bond, it starts from the ability to discuss issues in a honest manner.

@Seun; Nairaland....

Thanks for the cake on my profile

Keep the good work going

NashvilleTN:
My people, thanks for the show or love with your wonderful wishes and messages.

Bukatyne my twin (lol), I can see you had a most wonderful day. May God continue to prosper you in all you do and give you even more wisdom. You will have looong life in good health and lot of $$$$$$. For me it was a mixture of work and still making time to celebrate. May God continue to bless all of us.

Gracias.

All this you disappearing acts na wa o

I wish you all the very best in your new year. *e-hugs*

Same for me too

bellong:
Bon anniversaire mademoiselle Bukatyne and Big Nash...

May your days be long and colourful.

Big Nash?

Are you passing a message?

Thanks a lot.

Waiting for 31st and same to you too

FrancisTony:
27years now?

Happy birthday to you & NashvilleTN...

@age:

Thanks a lot

babygirlfl:
Happy Birthday to NashvilleTM and Bukatyne

Wish you both many happy years ahead and the best things in life.

Thanks a lot dear

cococandy:
Happy birthday bukatyne darling.
Many more fruitful years.

Thanks dearie

Chillisauce:
Why did you open a thread for you both together . Are you a couple

Hmmmm...
Ok o.

Happy birthday .
The thread do dey trend till te immemorial

LOL @ are we a couple?

Thanks for the wishes

GHoJes:
Happy Born Day Bukatyn!

May you recieve tonight that which you desire in this your celebration time..

Thanks a lot

[color=#006600][/color]

damiso:
happy birthday Bukatyne and Nashville.. more of Gods blessings now and always.

Thanks a lot

RoyalRoy,

Good morning

Please come and cleanse this thread of all insane posts.

Any poster who has issues with themselves should find another thread to exhibit their insanity

@ All the posters who kept this thread going in my absence, thanks a lot.

Happy Birthday to NashvilleTM and Bukatyne

Many many more years of God's blessings

@Stillfire:

Very good one which proves my point really.... These women are there because they want to So they are willing to go the extra mile to succeed.

I am getting something from you and ramudeter here...

If more girls are coerced, then more girls would stay (till the end?) in STEM.

Those women are really a motivation to younger women as I can see they are married (if I saw well o)

raumdeuter:
The gvt isnt reducing the quota for Male STEM, they just want to increase female STEM

E.g 300 male 20 female they want to make it 300 males 200 female at least 500 STEM is better than 320 STEM

And increasing the numbers makes sense because 10 Engineers can only work on so much regardless of their passion.
A passionless STEM person is more important to the modern society than a passionate Philosopher or Linguist




if we encourage 200 women and 100 drop it after, the 100 that would stay is a benefit to the society than not having them at all




I know a girl who started with Engineering, dropped to one easy psychology graduated while her former Engineering colleagues were getting 65k out of school she couldnt even get any job. She now decided to go for a masters again in another useless course Criminal Justice still no job she was working as a barber despite having a Masters. This was someone that had the intelligence to be an Engineer

Look at schools its usually those who study all these yeye courses that have time to party around. Go to any club or party and count the number of STEM students vs non STEM

Future of the country just wasting away studying Philosophy and Languages

Kai

The quota still exists except you are saying there is a limitless amount of students a university can admit per session.

You have a point ; someone can still be passionless but verygGood at a given profession...

Anyways, our psychologist will be waiting when the person breaks down

raumdeuter:
[img]https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://img.washingtonpost.com/news/rampage/wp-content/uploads/sites/27/2015/01/Screen-Shot-2015-01-27-at-9.35.32-AM-e1422370349670.png&w=1484[/img]

https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://img.washingtonpost.com/news/rampage/wp-content/uploads/sites/27/2015/01/Screen-Shot-2015-01-27-at-9.35.32-AM-e1422370349670.png&w=1484

[img]https://img.washingtonpost.com/news/rampage/wp-content/uploads/sites/27/2015/01/Screen-Shot-2015-01-27-at-9.35.32-AM-e1422370349670.png&w=1484[/img]

Isn't it strange that despite the push for more women in STEM, less women graduated from STEM over the span of 10yrs?

Did the article say Why the decline?

Timbuktou:
No shame in it just being me. You are a feminist after all. Every comment of yours should be analysed from all angles. We can't be taking chances with you and your ilk, after all, you did say STEM courses aren't more important than Gender Studies. It does say a lot about your value system on a lot of levels.

OK,

Next

babygirlfl:
I am all for equality and choice. Give everybody equal opportunity to do all courses at Uni. If after that, one gender decides to dorminate a sector. Then it's fine. What we don't want is one gender being discouraged from doing a particular course.

True true

TV01:
Absolutely agree regards equal opportunities - there are more women in medical school in Britain than men. Nobody is looking to gender balance things or incentivice men to take up medicine - even though the imbalace comes at cost, as fully 60%of female Dr's opt for p/t work or leave the profession within 10 years, leaving a problematic shortfall in healthcare delivery.


Dat's how it be !

TV

If the female Drs leave within 10yrs, I doubt there would be a shortfall because Drs male & female will be produced yearly.

raumdeuter:
If govt dont make genuine efforts to promote STEM courses for all, then at a point there wont be enough Scientists the economy would suffer and America would have to depend on foreign inventions.

I honestly doubt that . One engineer with passion is better than 10 engineers without. People (Male and female would always go for STEM courses).

I am looking at it from this angle: University A has the capacity to admit 500 STEM students for 2015/2016 session. Would it not be better if there are 480 interested men and 20 interested women admitted than 300 men with 200 women (out of which only 20 is interested) admitted leaving 180 men who had interest? In Nigeria especially, students lose fire and passion for their dream courses the longer they stay at home.

raumdeuter:
In my opinion, I believe if you put your mind to it you would do it especially academics. If STEM were the only courses available would women or people stop going to University?

True; however, I can do well in a course WITHOUT having passion for it and drop it like fire immediately I am through with school

raumdeuter:
STEM courses are harder and naturally most human beings would like to go for easier things. Show some people especially women some Maths equation, they wont even bother to look at it, They would just say i dont like maths. Show them Chemical equations they would say i cant understand Chemistry

Very true

raumdeuter:
For example I know many people who in Nigeria claimed they dont have a passion for sciences, they cant learn chemistry, or physics. when they get to US and they see thats the only thing that pays I have seen many of them graduate Pharmacy Nursing etc. So where did the passion suddenly come from?

Umemployment

raumdeuter:
Thats what the govt is trying to do. make people, coerce people to NOT go for the easy way out. Collect Thousands in Student loans to go study Gender studies

Ok o

raumdeuter:
Like I always tell my wife, Any child of mine who wants to study any yeye Romance languages or Philosophy would have to pay for it himself

Nigerian father himself

Wouldn't you like to have a Wole Soyinka?

Timbuktou:
Is it just me or can someone else see that this thread seeks to trivialise STEM courses by equating their importance with non-STEM courses because women flood the useless courses in universities. Imagine a "graduate" positing that Gender Studies and Medicine are of equal importance. This nairaland eh.

It is just you

If about 5 posters have posted before you addressing the OP without hassles, it should be clear it is you.

TV01:
The reason that women are being incentivised is that they don't "naturally" tend to choose STEM subjects in the same relative numbers as men. Ideologically that doesn't sit well with some people and they'd like to see that change.

Equal opportunity is all that is called for, but that won't give the desired ideological outcome! And the reason for the "unbalance" is because men are better suited - hence the incentivisation to "gender balance" things - sometmimes you need a bigger picture !

Therefore, as above; no, as it won't really work; no, as they don't really want to.


That's a value judgement you are free to make - I wasn't grading them, just proclaiming their purpose

TV

I believe very much in equal opportunities and leaving people to make their choices.

If after enlightenment and guidance men are more than women in STEM, so be it

raumdeuter:
Sorry some courses are more important than others

You cant say a Medical Doctor or Engineer isnt more important than someone who studied philosophy or Romance Languages in serious economies

That is why advanced countries even places like US, try to make conscious effort from the level of govt to promote STEM courses because from their experience, these are the stuff that build the society not writing philosoph, Gender studies or Latin

Who would solve the next societal problem, who would make cars that wont depend on organic fuel, who would make the fastest computer, who would discover the cure to cancer, who would make the best weapon, who would solve wild fires, Who would invent the building without concrete. Thats all on science

Ok, let's assume that STEM courses are more important...

Will it not be better to let people go to STEM courses as a result of genuine passion and not filling in a quota?

Captainswag225:
o.p some jobs are for guys only. Sorry!

Did you read the OP?

TV01:
Not really, but the prevailing ideological positions will try and force it to happen. Fortunately or unfortunatley, biology will prevail; simply put, womens strengths don't play to them achieving equal success with men in STEM fields. In this sense men are simply more gifted/better suited.

Sex based quotas cannot change that. Sweden the most poitically correct and feminist led nation in the world has relatively no more engineers than say a typical patriarchial nation like India. It's not mainly "gender" bias or stereotyping or even "old boys clubism" it's preference.

Even with more more women enrolling and graduating, with unfair incentives and policies designed to ensure women take up STEM courses, men still rule STEM fields. Things may change slightly due to the pressure, but women themselves don't - for the most part - want it.

http://www.brunel.ac.uk/courses/pg/funding/scholarships-bursaries - note the female only engineering bursary
http://www.uis.unesco.org/_LAYOUTS/UNESCO/women-in-science/index.html#overview!lang=en

Men were created to build, create and civilise. End of !


TV

I do not know if men are more 'suited' to STEM; this thread is saying every student should be guided to pick what best suits them.... Incentives are not necessary to put women in STEM... their passion should be enough incentive to.

If men were created to build, create and civilize, then they have made a woeful job of it.

AND THAT DISCUSSION IS OUTSIDE THE SCOPE OF THIS THREAD.

raumdeuter:
Some professions are more useful to society than others. Any nation that wants to grow must priotize STEM courses. All the countries that are superpowers are because they are the most scientifically advanced countries and they make SCIENTIFIC innovations. E.g Japan, China, US, Russia, germany etc and not Greece that is the birthplace of Philosophy History and literature

What benefit does having millions of people with PhD in Sociology, Philosophy, Human resources, Romance languages to the society?

many women always flee from Sciences and see it as a Man's field because of the rigors involved with sciences. if women who are increasingly getting more opportunities in education are running away from the major builder of the society i.e STEM courses then the country would have a huge problem in the future

Maybe they are also fleeing because they are NOT interested in it?

At the end, no one course is more important than the other...

The Engineer still needs the Accountant, HR personnel, Teacher etc. etc. to function properly.

invisibility:
My mama wey carry me 9 months suffer for me and born me. Enslaved herself for years to cater for me and my siblings. She deserves my respect.

I laboured for years to save money. I spent nearly all to marry a wife. She becomes my financial reasonsibilty for life.

Comparing the two :

from one I kept recieving from her sacrifices from birth to adulthood.

To another I'll have to keep giving sacrificially till old age.

Both are so important but I hate the present day trend of raw disrespect of wives to a non troublesome mother inlaw.

Women hate mother in laws with passion whether mama is good or bad.

But remember she's my mother... same way you have yours.

In you and your Father in-law (Wife's father),

Who is more important?