₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
Mumu

Mindfulness:
Do we need the consent of criminals?

If we go by this logic, people should stop driving expensive cars, stop wearing expensive watches and jewelry. Right?

MizMyColi:
Yes o
I concur with you.
Wisdom is profitable to direct.

DollyParton1:
thank you.
no woman should play victim.....
Encourage your man and all, but don't loose youself in the process.
Let it not be that after he left u, u havd nothing to fall back on

MizMyColi:
I understand the sentiment, however....

If you've ever been in a situation where you make it all about your partner....

And if we'll be sincere to self, if a guy will be disloyal, he'll be....it doesn't matter the packaging.

I've seen it happen.

Mindfulness:
So as long as it is permitted by law, it is ok? Would you say the same about the laws in the US before the Civil Rights Movement, which made discrimination on grounds of race legal? Would you say the same about the laws in South Africa during the apartheid era? Would you say the same about the laws in Nazi Germany? Would you say that it is ok for gays to marry because it is legal in some countries?

Reason should set the standards, not the Western world, not culture, neither religion.

I am not condemning this man, neither his wife, nor their families but I believe that something is terribly wrong with a 53-year-old marrying a TEENAGER.

My reasons:

The average life expectancy of a Nigerian man is 52 years. Let us say that he, as a well-to-do man, will reach the average life expectancy men in developing countries reach, which is 78. This means that he has 25 more years to live (going by the Nigerian life expectancy, he already entered the coffin with one leg). By the time he dies, she will be 43, that is, I repeat when he reaches the life expectancy of a man in a developing country. She will be a fairly young widow and her marriage prospects will be bleak in a country like Nigeria. Is she to spend her remaining years alone? Is she not supposed to enjoy her old age with a husband by her side? Or will she soon have to take care of him like a nurse? Is she mature enough to deal with the problems old age comes along with?

What about their kids? They will still be pretty young when he dies. They shouldn't have a father for as long as possible?

What about the risks late fatherhood has on the health of the children?

Then, what do these two people have in common? Will he be her partner or her mentor, a fatherly figure? What is marriage about? Companion and friendship or mentoring and s.ex? What about the different social interests and attitudes?

What about the impact his marriage has on his older kids? What will be the impact on his daughters who see their father with a GIRL who is their age-mate? What about his sons who will date girls who are their stepmother's age? Do they have to worry about their father lusting after them? Can his daughters-in-law look up to him as a fatherly figure? I don't think so.

What about his parents-in-law? Are they his age-mates? How does it affect family counseling in times of a crisis where the elderly are asked for advice?

What about the different levels of fitness? How will it affect their se.xual life?

Last but not least, even without all these arguments, many people can sense that there is something unnatural and weird for a man at his age to be sleeping with a teenager.

Just because nature made it so that men can have children till the day they die, it does not mean that it is recommendable.

Mindfulness:
The campaign is not about what women SHOULD or SHOULDN'T wear. Their message is clear: Wear whatever you want and nothing that you wear can EVER justify rape. It is so simple.

freecocoa:
If a rapist is already sick, how then does it matter what the women wear? Unless you are saying, how a lady dresses, is responsible for the sickness.

Neverquit:
I was about to type something similar. Well said, Bukatyne.

I don't understand this mentality.

How many 'intact' homes are healthy? How about the abusive ones that the spouse stayed? The males and females of such can either be affected negatively or positively.

We need to be careful about the messages that we pass across.

So, can anymore answer the questions Bukatyne asked?

Or is it only women that are created to suffer in unhealthy marriages. Why can't men also stay with abusive or cheating wives? Food for thought.

Individuals are responsible for their choices. We have to use whatever experience we have either positively or negatively.

LewsTherin:
Thanks. I'm always around. Just don't always see the need to post most times. Way too many kids on Nairaland these days.

Timbuktou:
Solid gold.

Phema:
In my opinion, Nigeria is morally better than the US.

There is a difference between hiding to do what you know will be frowned upon and doing same with impunity. MHO.

bellong:
1. The MILs were once young wives who complained about their MILs. It is a vicious cycle restricted to the females.

2. Yes, it is not that simple but it is the basic to be done. Many female prior to meeting their MIL already formed a negative/evil opinion about her. I know many cases where the wives are actually the bad ones but they painted their MILs as evil to people who have no idea of the settings.

3. The wives who hate MILs for no reason also know what they are doing.

4. You know your MIL is evil, yet you went ahead to marry her son, you should blame yourself for your bad decision.

MizMyColi:
I hear Karma doesn't discriminate.

MizMyColi:
I'm not the writer o
My good friend is.

LordReed:
There was also a place they both said "forsaking all others" abi did you and him forget that part?

McCarlito:
Since u didn't heed the advise of both ur inlaws and ur parents to work things out in ur marriage; is it now the advise given to u by nairaland that u will heed to

When u both marched to the altar; it was for better for worse till death do u part
Whatever happened to those lines

Lyoncrescent:
Omotola Jalade Ekeinde was 18 when she got married and she seems happy and has been married for almost 15 years now. Dont see the big deal about Sanusi getting married to this pretty young girl.

Bevista:
Homosexuality is practised all over Africa, starting from our secondary schools to private homes. The only difference between Africa and the West is that they have brought it to the level of consciousness while we are still being pretentious and hypocritical about the issue as if it doesn't exist. African leaders can prevent legislation on the issue but they can't stop the practice.

Secondly, Morality does not put food on the table. He should also focus on transforming his economy which is now in tatters. And why does a corrupt man who rules his country for more than 30 years and destroyed the economy have the moral grounds to criticize people's private lives. I'll take a homosexual person any day over a corrupt person.

For the records, I am not Gay and really do not understand why anyone should be. But then, that is their private lives and it is not my place to judge them.

MadCow1:
He can shout all he likes.


As we speak, Men and fhucking each other in Zimbabwe, Nigeria and all over Africa.

Some of your relatives and even some of you hiding behind some of these monikers are closet homos.

I have repeatedly tried to wonder why we are so focused on homosexuality which in my opinion isn't a crime when real crimes like rape, corruption, stealing and co ate going on unabated.

I doubt Zimbabwe 's biggest problem as things stand are two guys fhucking inside a room somewhere.


Yes.. Africa in its close mindedness will never accept homosexuality and that is fine. But please you all need to get off your own Diick and face real problems hounding us. As a Continent, we are too rich to be this underdeveloped.

Mugabe would die.

So would all of us eventually.

One day, Homosexuality would be legal in Africa.

So also would Marijuana usage.

So also would transgenders.



You may not see it now, but it will happen.

Once upon a time, many people never saw the possibility of a Black Man, A Slave, that was bought, owned, bred and killed at will by the white man becoming the President of the United States of America.
Today, not only is a Black Man born in Kenya the President of the most powerful Nation on earth, he is also a Muslim.


Please make una leave Homo people matter discuss better things and focus on issues that actually affect the price of garri in the market.


Yes.. I have said my own.


Sai Buhari..

God Bless Africa..

bellong:
Why is it that only the females always have issues with mother-in-law?

They keep complaining of mother-in-law when they will become one someday.

Yes, there are bad people but most times it boil down to individual's reactions and perceptions of the in-laws. Even the devil can be cohabited with in peace if you understand his weak spots.

The effort and energy most of you females expend in fighting or keeping grudges with mother-in-laws are enough to win them to your side completely if directed positively.

Search yourself first before complaining about mother-in-law.

brocode:
A history of your topics and comments shows I dont require a response to this.

brocode:
My point exactly, instead of giving advice where necessary, you are condemning! It is sad that all the criticism are coming from females.
I threw slime at those two comments because they werent here to give advice by to judge and condemn.

"Okay, first of all I know lots of people talk crap just to sound funny here. I get that, its good for the forum but this is a serious situation and am seeking real conversations and advice, possibly legal on this issue"

That was how I started the narration.

Phema:
Very good for all those American teenagers wey no dey hear word.

The 'legalized' immorality in that country is enough for a mother to take drastic decisions.

brocode:
If you gat your game up, you can get laid in less than 3hours of conversation. That doesnt mean u re bad, it means you are man enough. BAD would have been going one round at least when we got to our destinations before we part ways.

Mindfulness:
Very good questions. We are VERY FAR from the core values of Christianity.

Instead of loving, we hate.
Instead of showing compassion, we judge.
Instead of spreading hope, we spread fear.
Instead of exerting humility, we are showing off.

We are very far from the core values of Christianity and humanity but it is not only a Nigerian problem. The human race is currently self-destructing.

Asiwaju9ja:
I no be actor (when dey act Drama) as you say you no see am (the embarrassment). Leave the matter then.

humilitypays:
It was at this point that my friend started telling me stories of how Nigerian ladies abroad (especially those living in US and UK according to him) play hard-to-get and difficult for Nigerian guys living abroad, especially if they discover that the guy isn't from a wealthy family back in Nigeria.
Note:
I am not saying its a crime for a lady to date or marry rich guy, neither am I saying that a lady must date/marry broke guy, I am just curious as to why it is rare to hear that a rich single Nigerian lady is dating or married to a guy who isn't rich?

Asiwaju9ja:

---

Can You Imagine? bukatyne say she no see the embarrassment there. You see a classic example of wetin we dey discuss here. All wetin we dey go back and forth about see the example above.

Asiwaju9ja:
Reminds me of this guy from abroad married one ordinary banker o! As per kpe e came from abroad no work or busines as yet so e dey house. We had the same gear issues with our cars(same make different models) as I was fixing mine d guy came around and told me that he had d same issue and he spent over 270k buying another gearbox. Not long after d lady came to join us where they are fixing my car. She then repeated What her husband had said and embarrassed him big time. She said " it was this problem our car had, I SPENT OVER 270K TO FIX IT" see as d woman come open d guy yansh just because na she spend d money. The guy quickly left d place leaving d wife there in annoyance.

LewsTherin:
Dude, I just read your ppst on your first year of marriage. Great post. Makes me feel your not going to the market is just you feeling lazy, right? You know what they say, holding your woman's hands in the mall (or market) isn't romantic. It's economics!!!!




Just yanking your chain bro. No offence meant.