₦airaland Forum

Timbuktou:
Hehehe. Na my neighbours na.

nickibarb:
I needed to travel for one day to write a professional exam, but my husband refused to let me take our two little kids (aged 1yr 4 months and aged 3 months) to my parent's house for my mum to take care of them. He said he would care for them himself. (Note that his mother was out of town if not I would have taken them to her). I wanted to make my mother-in-law aware of the situation so that I won't be accused of abandoning my kids for my career (you know how judgmental naija society can be sometimes). I tried to call my mother-in-law, she didn't pick up, I sent her a text explaining the situation and then proceeded to call her again. I was surprised to see that she was talking to my husband about the issue on the line that I just tried calling her on, but she hadn't called me back. My mother-in-law refused to take my calls cause apparently she's of the opinion that couples should keep everything between themselves. My husband went ahead to take away my copy of the house keys. He locked the doors and said whenever I was ready to go, he will let me out, in order to ensure that I don't come back when he is out, to take his kids to my parents' house. I had already assured him that I wasn't going to take them away but I was opposed to leaving without a key, since it will be very inconveniencing for me to go on such an exhausting journey, return and not have immediate access to the house. (My husband's whereabouts is usually very difficult to discern on account of the nature of his job-politician). Again, I tried to get my mother-in-law to intervene and ask him to let me have one of the keys but she still refused to take my calls. I sent her another text. I was running late so I proceeded to take my husband's wallet which he left in one of the rooms. My intention was to use it as an exchange item so I can get the keys from him.

Unfortunately, this got him very mad and in a bid to get the wallet back from me, he pushed me and I hit the back of my head on a glass table resulting in a head injury as revealed by a CT scan. In all of this, my mother-in-law still refused to take my calls even though she could hear me shouting and crying through the phone (recall my husband was intermittently on the phone with her while the fracas was going on). Since that day, I haven't called her again, and she hasn't called me either. Even when my parents informed her about my head injury via text (since she wasn't taking their calls), she still failed to give me call to find out how badly hurt I was. She has come to our home one day since the incident, I was taking a bath, by the time I was done and came to the living room, she was gone. I don't think she asked after me but I didn't ask my husband whether she did. This is someone I have loved and respected as a mother all this time, we have never ever had even one disagreement. By refusing to get involved, she has effectively destroyed our cordial relationship. I cannot honestly say that I feel like she cares whether I live or die as long as we obey the golden rule of keeping everything between ourselves as a couple.
My issue is, I'm not happy about the fact that we've fallen into the category of MIL and DIL that do not get along. My question is, am I right to feel aggrieved, and am I right to have not made any effort to reach out to her for more than a month now, considering that this means that she has not interacted with her grand children all this time? What would you suggest I do?

Qualer:
mmmhhh!! methinks you will make a very, very, very good friend

Qualer:
come o! who prepared that peppered meat??

moca:

See jamb question!

5minsmadness:


I was surprised to come and see the number of people quoting my post and praising me for "encouraging" the wife to pack out!

A man who took a woman back to the home of her disgrace (if indeed the rape story was true) and married her there with pomp and pageantry is a man of honour in my book!
So he slipped when the issue of infertility reared it's ugly head, he is not a god, he is not perfect. It was not enough reason for madam to pack out, and like u said IT IS HER LOSS!

The paragraph of her packing of was meant to be dripping sarcasm! I was amazed most people didn't catch that but then again I'm tired of explaining every post on nairaland. Those who have wisdom will decipher while others can remain in thier folly!


I disagree with you on one point though.



Nonso 's child is an illegal immigrant! He may have gotten his green card but that doesn't mean he didn't enter the country illegally Since he is the son of both the father and the mother he has no right to enter the communion between nonso and his wife. That would be classless, insensitive and wrong. Some women will poison the child since u want to force him on her. Haba, would u agree for your sister to be treated same way in her own home? No! The law can wrangle whatever they want but the boy remains with the mother unless nonso's wife accepts him into the union between nonso and her, period!

I have so many mentions but decided to answer this one. Other folks can draw thier analogy from her pls.

nickibarb:
i aced it. i'm so glad. if i had failed, that would have been like the last straw mehn. cos i havn't failed any exam in my life. passing it kind of pacified everything in my heart.

Timbuktou:
True, I agree. It would only work if both partners were committed to losing themselves to each other, not one of them feeling entitled to the perfect spouse, as this guy seems unlucky to have been saddled with.

The right spouse, in my opinion, is one who understands that their married to a human being and isn't too arrogant to own up to their own shortcomings.

Timbuktou:
1. Haven't we read on nairaland time and again about how you should accept people for who they are? Which, in a sense, is true. In fact, now that I think of it, this man in the OP may have attempted, in good conscience, to change/improve this woman and may have well been met with obstinence and resentment from his wife; a factor which could have contributed to the divorce. Never mind that he tried to improve himself in the process, as well, improvements that may have been necessitated by his beloved ex.

2. Because the woman has seen him finish and is bored and will not accept to have him back despite his best attempts at holding the fabric of the marriage together. She wants a shiny new, read mysterious, husband, new wedding etc. This marriage became boring, end of. This man can beat himself upside the head till the laws of physics no longer hold, truth is he's barking up the wrong tree.

3. Oh, definitely, we tend to find out that the reality of relationships differ greatly with our fantasies

Timbuktou:
The right woman is relative, BK. Anybody can act whichever way they want if they find the right person. The point is the items on this list are total bull. This prescription requires the man to lose himself in the process of pleasing his woman. The internet is replete with women testimonies of men who have done better than this list and have been left in the lurch and vice versa.

Odillz:
[color=#660000]Just be real and watch your match locate you,then ego would really not rear it head to that extent of wanting to be recognised or understood[/color]

Timbuktou:
The author of this piece hasn't learnt his lesson yet. There are men who have done way more than this and have been sent packing by their wives.

Once a western/westernised woman spouse is bored with her the marriage, no excuse is too flimsy or frivolous for divorce. All these points na enslavement tins. Everybody know your place and play your role, that's the way to marital bliss.

I guarantee that this man will end up in yet another divorce if carries this his unenlightened view into the new marriage.

Sleekyshuga:
Bless Your Soul.

Sleekyshuga:
I may not have been pregnant but there is a huge difference between a normal tummy with that of a pregnant woman . I refuse to accept that.

It may not be 'huge' but there must be a difference, no matter how small.. Body size differ but there must be a visible change (signs of pregnancy sef)..

How then where her neighbors able to suspect her?

You can't hide pregnancy, especially, a matured one.

She should face the LAW, plus her deceptive husband.

SAMBARRY:
Great god
chair cover
bukatyne and all the pregnant nl women
I greet all of una o.erure esore loruko jesu


them no dey do Cs for goat before e born, them no go do Cs for you in Jesus name

AyeeIdris:
I am the weird looking one on black scarf. I dont even have belle as a excuse. Was a month pregnant though
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Princessonelove:
Thank you...your story is so funny.

5minsmadness:
At the age of 6months, my niece graduated from breastmilk to Eba and soup. The parents did all thier possible best to feed the child cereals, babyfood, blended fruits, cerelac, soyamilk, etc etc but she simply refused and would throw it all out as soon as it was forced in. When my mom was contacted she said we should try adult foods. Immediately the eba and eggs came to her mouth she gulped it in like a starving Nigerian who has been feeding on white man's pasta for 6months. She ate it and looked up at us like... Na now una come.

This same baby went straight from diaper to potty. During potty training she never messed up the house once but would crawl to the toilet to do her buisness on the floor or in the potty.

Same for bedwetting. She would wake up at night and without crying would start patting whoever was around until the person woke up then she would make them follow her to the toilet to pee.

Nobody taught her to wear her clothes and she has already figured out how to wear the right shoes on the right feet.

My mom says she's our grandma come back. I'm more scientifically inclined though I'm still waiting for an explanation of how she knows to flush the toilet after her when she uses it.
She's two years old now.

Princessonelove:
I grew up believing I wasn't good enough. Many of my peers told me I wasn't good enough. I found solace in my books. my mom always encouraged me. Today am here, happy,healthy,a graduate and I've a fiancé that loves me so much. I will be getting married in August, my birth month. Thank you Jesus.

MrsAnyanwu:
Awww tnx sweetheart

MrsAnyanwu:
my dear I am 65 currently though very shapy nd attractive want to trim down to 50, don't know what to do oooo

shrekandfiona:
lol thanks for the compliment. After I decided to get back to shape, i started minor exercises I jogged twice a week round my estate very early in the mornings. If your estate is not secured, try indoor skipping with ropes.

I also take lemon juice with warm water 1st thing in the morning and last thing at night. Just squeeze half a lemon in a glass add warm water to fill up and drink. It helps a lot. Also worked for my tummy too. I also had my dinner 7pm latest. Try these tips and you'll start seeing results in 2 weeks. Cheers