₦airaland Forum

kilokeys:
i look married?.. see my life.. wey i dey reason marriage as vision 2020 project..
i just dey speak on behalf of many guys suffering this abuse

buggaboo:
The bolded is true.
Men do run themselves down when they have to compete for a very desirable woman.
However they still have the option to walk away and search for other desirable women.

kilokeys:
if she serves me what u have on ur dp.. she could nag till eternity.. mehn. i miss those

kilokeys:
she needs to read this

raumdeuter:
An incident came to mind

While working on a team, 2 girls who were friends. One of them came to work and was sluggish and sickly, we were all pitying her and trying to ease her workload by taking some of her deliverable.

Next thing her friend just blurted out, Whats wrong with her sef? Is she the only woman here, Am I not a woman myself or na only she dey get menstrual pain

Na so everyone in the room take know say na Aunty Flo issues dey worry her. I was now like, Does she have to put her friend out like that in public?

buggaboo:
There are two major reasons for this.

1) There is an innate need in every woman to be desired above other women.
Men do the chasing while women need to stand out as the most desirable for men. This then leads to the running down of other competitors (women).


2) Human beings all need someone to oppress. This means that the people at the bottom of the ladder turn on themselves.
E.g black on black crimes in us and uk, xenophobia in SA
The amount of hate women have for each other in any society is directly proportional to their status in that society.

Mintayo:
Sorry, I didn't know it's a competition!
Besides this thread is actually about women being their own worst enemies and to be honest it's more prevalent with women than with men!

Kachisbarbie:
lols.
It turns to constructive criticism.
Sometimes I wonder if some NL guys are normal, the kind of hate in them is alarming.

If it's not how females are materialistic, it's how they are 'cheerful givers'. Makes me wonder how many their female loved ones have given, or are they exempted from the stereotype?

lavatoz:
This is my understanding of the topic.
Yes women can be bitchy towards each other and women are good at popping each others' bubbles. The reason female empowerment hasn't gone that far is because, other women discourage women from moving ahead in life. It happens even in our families. As a young woman or teen girl, your mom or aunt would discourage you from reaching greater heights; they'd fear your over-ambitious attitude and constantly remind you that as a female you have to consider what your husband would say.
You won't really have that problem among your male relatives (well, me I won't anyway) but men haven't always shown that extreme fraternal love for themselves either. Do you know how many times men have sabotaged, killed, betrayed, cheated and diabolically competed among themselves? Uncountable. It is evident in literature and real life events. Yet who say "Men are their worst enemies"? The phrase "women are their own worst enemies" is a chauvinistic phrase. Humans are each others worst enemies-especially against the same genders.
It all started with Cain and Abel (brothers), and you know the rest

Kachisbarbie:
Truetalk.
I was discussing this issue with a nairalander offline just a week ago.
Lets take NL as a case study,


I don't get it, it's okay for guys to insult women, but bad when women do same?

cococandy:
yea I realized that's the angle you're coming from.

I think it is silly of them anyways.
I've always loved having girlfriends.

FrancisTony:
Men naturally have overbloated ego.

for example, different men have been ruling Nigeria and we are not getting it right.
Many male politicians, loot and commit all atrocities.

Just mention Okonjo-Iweala and Allison-Madueke, they'll give you 1,000 reasons why women shouldn't be in power forgetting good deeds of Magareth Ekpo, Oby Ezekwesili, Dora Akunyili.

When they err, human beings are imperfect.
When women err, women are devil.

Oloun maje for hypocrisy!

njokusboy:
But the op says "women are their worst enemies" nd she is female
How is she being chauvinistic or sexist biko kwanu nwa tony... how is the phrase even chauvinistic or sexist when it is used a lot by women, they even use it more...
Was the phrase invented by a man?

Kai, what a travesty

TV01:
I'mma tell you the difference;

Man sees best friend with foine gyal, thinks "I want one like that for myself"
Woman sees bff with a proper dude, thinks "I'm having him" - starts scheming, or showing the bobo that she's more desirable than her friend - even if she can't have him.

It's an aphorism, but not far off!

TeeVee

TV01:
Happy anniversary Bukatyne. Hearty congratulations. Are you baking yet ? It's a race betwixt yourself and Coco.

No bashing, but I'mma troll on your thread small. Appears to be suffering the usual malaise .


TeeVee

AfricanApple:
my question is: is there a solution this situation or do we just continue to flow with it

MarvellousGod:
No gender is perfect.. Even men get jealous of their friends who have a 'perfect' relationship..

Saw a thread few days back where a lady was being talked into, to get a divorce by her husband's best friend so that he, her husband's friend could marry and take better care of her.. smh.. You also see guys sleeping with their friends' gfs... or a gal tells you she's already in a relationship, you keep pestering her.. no be another man parole you wan spoil?

Even in places of work, men get jealous of a promoted colleague. ..

So op, it goes both ways, human imperfection.. Just that anything that has to do with the female gender in our society gets more pronounced...

For me, I have good female friends who I hv known for years and no issues at all... or maybe cos I'm good myself?

Chillisauce:
at least na only down dem dey hold. Men kill everything starting from their fellow men in times of war, Mediterranean immigration, bombing etc to bushmeats, rats, dogs.
no one holds anyone down except you want to be held down.

Mintayo:
Lol, not trying to sound like a women-hater or something But truely women are their own enemies,I have witnessed firsthand How some woman was trying to bring to bring down another woman!

cococandy:
Bukatyne here's example of what I'm saying.
I'm on one disgusting thread and a foolish girl on there thinks a woman raped by her husband until she had a miscarriage has no case.
(He's your husband. The head of your body. Crappy kind of comments)

Now she's probably not the only one who said something similar to that, but hers is the most annoying because when some guys say it, although it is annoying, your annoyance will be diluted with the knowledge that they don't know what pregnancy is like or what being penetrated forcefully can be like.

A lady (even if she may not have been pregnant before) has had periods and probably had sex before and should know that being penetrated by force is not funny at all nor is pregnancy a walk in the park. That's a perfect example of why it is worse when women lack empathy towards other women than when guys do the same.

FrancisTony:
Women are their worst enemy is a "chauvinistic/sexist phrase", as MEN are equally their own enemy.

Human rebellion, frailties, imperfection etc is mostly emphasized on, when it's towards female gender.

I agree that women are their worst enemy but I can still give you many instances of men being their own worst enemy.
Nobody would deny that he/she hasn't seen any man envious of his friend's success - politicians comes to my mind.

For example - If Omotola is having a little misunderstanding with Genevieve, the phrase pops up; but when the role is reversed e.g Davido versus Wizkid, tone would change that they are kids instead of men are their worst enemy.
Even on Nairaland, as a female, don't go on threads about successful female celebrities hating, as you'll be bashed with that phrase but MEN are free to hate on male celebrities. Hypocrisy!

Well, It's not a gender thing but depends on individuals.
Our society isn't nice towards feminine gender.

SAMBARRY:
You should strive to be the boss because


True that

cococandy:
I think what that phrase means is that it is worse when women pull each other down than when men do.

How will you talk about women empowerment and hope to be successful when it is women that will still run the idea down because of some pseudo-goodism? Probably done to impress men who most times don't give a hoot.

Talk about many culture that are oppressive against women and you will find that it is women who are also the champions propagating such practices.
Who are those that are first to advice abused women to stay and fast and pray? Women.
Who are those teaching growing girls to value themselves so lowly that sharing one 'blokkos' in the name main chick is ok? You guessed right. Women.
Plus many other annoying examples too much to type here.

So in general, women are part of the circus holding themselves down.

But it is worse because it is women who should be less judgmental of each other.
So if you have two enemies and one of them is yourself, the worse enemy of the two is you.
Because you have to first make the effort to help yourself before anyone will listen to you.

Moana:
I wouldnt mind a male or female superior so long he or she is respectful and competent. I guess some woman always believe that if they have a male boss it will be easy to receive advantages or opportunities by using their charm, its will not always be easy for them to have their way with a female boss

Westendel:
bukatyne
Chair cover
babyosisi
thorpido
moca
EfemenaXY
Cococandy

I have been reading the advice you always give people in that thread babyosisi created. pls I need your opinion in this issue

Evina:
Wow! So sweet of you.

The traditional marriage ceremony took place yesterday. It was Heaven on Earth. I give ALL the glory to God. I am now a Mrs, according to customary law and in the sight of God.

Love you gurl,
Love you AgapeCharis aka iAmCharis aka YouBCharis aka wetindoyouroriginalmoniker. LOL.

NZEGWUAGU:
Stupid pros titute! How can your husband rape you? It is clear you have been sleeping with other men who have instructed you not to let your husband touch you again. I am sure he was not responsible for that pregnancy in the first place.

Wendy80:
I don't blame the pastor I blame the woman. She saw the handwriting clearly written on the wall, she come wear 'sunshade' enter the marriage.
Was she expecting a happy home from a 'PASTOR who is Fornicating and supports abortion.
...and she was happy saving his ministry by aborting her destiny away.