₦airaland Forum

Gynacologist:
ur point?

Use your tongue to count your teeth and reread

fagin1982:
My dear it's not about her pocket or the headship

When a man knows how to treat a woman ...No matter how reach she is ..She will play her role as the woman ..tho few exceptions

Was just joking around with coco

@ bold: Agree 100%

Owliver:
and what's wrong with headship? Who says headship is about being a "control freak"? In every institution there must be a head? Like it or not. Just like you have you president, manager, governor, name them? Are you a xstian? If so then your bible gives room for such, same bible also says we should honor and respect our wives. oh I guess you want " total equality" abi? Ohyh tell me about how you toasted your husband, and also tell me how you knelt down to propose? Tell me how you showered him with gifts and flowers!!! Are you in Nigeria?

I doubt I have said anything was wrong with headship.

It depends on everyone's interpretation that was why I quoted the word.

@Bold:

Is there partial equality

In a relationship of just two people, a person doing one thing doesn't make them above the other person

Do you mean that if I proposed to my husband, I am superior? Can more than one person propose at a time?

Do you know some ladies proposed to their men? Are they superior?

@U2ice, Mrdrix, adahgold, pharmadoctor, Jman06, femi4, DarryOsh:

Thank you

hopeforcharles:
You are quite unbiased in your post, me I am looking for a successful woman oh, if you know one send her my way, I have my own dough too so she can intimidate me.

Can or cannot

KingSango:
Sometimes roles get reversed when women start to out earn men. Women who earn more than most men may start to view men with less of an attraction because traditionally men are expected to be the providers. Men do encounter the snub from some women who have more materially than the men seeking their attention. Its like a poor farm boy who falls for a princess he has very little if anything to offer her. Women routinely dump men who earn less for men who earn more. So some male insecurity is rooted in harsh reality either from experience, or someone they know of or stories they've heard. While women becoming successful is applauded it does propose a challenge to our current social expectations. And thus it is the maturity of the people involved and not the sex which determines whether love will ensue or misunderstanding i.e discrimination against successful women or less successful men. For instance in China, where women have experienced great success due to office type work increased, while Chinese men have lost ground as technology replaces traditional manual labor jobs, as result of the disparity Chinese women are more independent and less interested in marriage. I know in the U.S where the White power structure placed African American women in corporate America over African American men, has had a huge impact on the social relationship of the two. Many African American women are successful yet unmarried in their late 30s and early 40s as they are unable to find suitable African American men for marriage. The America culture encourages women to stand up and flaunt being single like the Illuminati song by Beyounce, "All My Single Ladies". Social engineering young women to love being single, single mothers and shunning men who earn less or have less materially.

My opinion is that Western culture has penetrated Africa not the true rise of women. Western culture is covert social engineering of people of color to break up their families with bizarre lifestyles. Homosexuality, singleness, single motherhood, sex out of marriage, lust for perversion and all the things our Ancestors condemned. There were rich women in the time of our Ancestors and powerful ones as well but there was tradition to keep the balance between men and women. Western culture is not a tradition it is an invasion. The purpose of the invasion is to destroy the population disparity that exists between Whites and people of color. Such as African women including African diaspora have on average 3 to 4 babies in a lifetime. While White women average around 2 babies in their lifetime if they are lucky one doesn't die. There are power in numbers and this huge disparity is the motivation behind homosexuality, single motherhood and sexual perversion over marriage are being pushed upon African societies. Gender wars are also covertly instituted by Illuminati agendas as chaos only benefits Western nations whom wealth stratification is higher than developing African nations. I encourage the rise of women but it must include children as well. Women and children need men to protect them as they together are a vulnerable group. It makes no sense to have women with high salaries and children are starving or going unnutured. The rise of women in order for it to be true must include the betterment of children. We must resist Illuminati engineered gender wars that pit African men and women against each other whilst ignoring the betterment of family as a whole.

Love, Sango.

I raised this question a while back on one divorce thread:

If men were treating their women right, would the women not want marriage even if they are successful?

As I said on that thread, no woman in a loving marriage will divorce her husband because of child support or settlement.

Women in those societies not craving marriage anymore means they did not like what they saw and decided to stay away since they can cater for themselves. It means that the women previously married because they couldn't fend for themselves.

Nobody would resist the beauty of having a friend who has got your back whether you are rich or poor...

I believe the first step in to redefine marriage and most of these things would disappear.

Also, some men/women naturally do not crave marriage.

freecocoa:
Seriously? Mark might be serious?

Yes, he might

initiate:
two sides to a coin

you did it cos you have no choice so no one can blame you

but there are others who had made the choice even before delivery is near for different reasons, eg I cant stand the pain, or the wait, or the area would widen and hubby will go and carry unilag girls etc

final word from your story: let girls (and even guys) be encouraged to choose a spouse whose parents are late

And is there anything wrong with the bolded

The end point is birthing a baby, not so?

DarryOsh:
in fact, you gave given a perfect analysis of the issue. Cheers!

Thanks

rittyben:
That he can sing better

And Mark said he will turn him to Mango and eat him?

Don't report to his mom or the school authorities yet

However, pray for your son.

It might be child's play....

And Mark might be serious.

rittyben:
I changed my son to the school i work. He started yesterday, and today he met me to complain that Mark told him that he(Mark) would turn my boy's head to a mango and eat it.
They did have a quarrel. from what i gathered, the were expressing themselves by telling each other what they can do.
My boy is 6, Mark is 8years old.
Mark is from Edo State(i know that because his mum is a teacher too). Should take it as children play, or should i report to his mum?
Should i be worried about this?

What did your son tell Mark?

kevinberry:
Here in texas it rose over phones

I Don hear

Jackeeh:
A true life tale.
Her story : Please I need help. My mother-in-law came to live with us claiming she was coming for medical check up and has since refused to go. I do leave my baby with my MIL to look after as I had resumed work after my maternity leave. My husband has a junior brother whom he told me would be staying with us after his NYSC. Which I accepted. To cut d
story short, i discovered dat my brother in law who is 35 years old molested my one year, five months old baby girl with his finger. Whenever i want to wash her private part she would always cry. so i decided to check her V area and discoverd dat d area had been tempered with. i quickly drew my husband's attention to it n he summoned his mother,who agreed she had noticed same whenever she wanted to bathe my baby. when we queried my brotherinlaw he became very sad n sober. Only then did we know he was the culprit. His mom confirmed that he's the culprit. And stated how she does not receive visitors in our absence. my brotherinlaw is always indoors no friend has ever visited him( both male and female) , a graduate dat has no job and he is not ready to go out and search for a job. we live in a two bedroom flat and my baby is always indoors. I never knew that my mother inlaw always left my baby alone with her son to molest . Now my problem is this : none of them is ready to leave my house. Pls mothers, will my baby be tight again? What do I do?

Me : I decided to bring this here so others can learn from the advice and experiences ya'all have to share.

What about your husband?

5minsmadness:
OK, it's been 24hrs.
Polls over.
Cc bukatyne
Anonimus

You want to use less than 20 posts as a sample pool

Besides you should consider the preference of the people commenting

I won't deny an average lady would pick iPhone 6; however, Some might still prefer flowers

And again, original flowers and iPhone 6 are not at par

iPhone 6 and a candle light dinner in Sheraton or Oriental Hotel might be at par.

Last line for married couples though

babyosisi:
It's obvious she is withholding the true story,I asked the same question
She may not be as innocent as she will want anyone to believe

Let's wait till she gives us the full picture

mcdokwe:
arguing in that line would derail our concern here, which I believe should be to get the op to make her husband stop the abuse without necessarily aggravating the situation. The assumption is that he loves less and so could easily hurt her and not care, she loves more and shouldn't watch her marriage crumble or deteriorate to a managing one

Ok

mcdokwe:
that two people are in love doesn't mean one person doesn't love more atimes, let the woman be the one more in love and get the other to fall so in love not to want to hurt her.

We don't have a loveometer to measure people's feelings for each other

However, if you profess to love someone (small or big) you have live by that commitment.

@nicequeen:

Shared this thread and this is the feedback I got:

1). It is either you are not saying what exactly led to the insults (not saying it's right) as it is strange to envision your hubby will just start insulting you

OR

2). He is fed up/frustrated with the marriage or some attitudes of yours

Please answer my first question on this thread:

What triggered the first instance of insults? (since he did not insult you during courtship)

@Juzzybabe,

It is well

Thank God both mother and daughter is hale and hearty

TrishaP:
Not Cool.

For those who might not know what Caesarean Section is,
A Caesarean section(CS), is a surgical procedure in which one or more incisions are made through a mother's abdomen and uterus to deliver one or more babies.

It is often performed when a vaginal delivery would put the baby's or mother's life or health at risk. 

It isn't fair when people mock someone who went through this. We should learn to put ourselves in other people's shoes, it'll only make the world better.

Intersesting

Never heard of shaming women who gave birth CS...

I only know of people rejecting CS and praying miraculously for the mother to give birth vaginally and their rejection stems from the fact that it is seen as an illness or anomaly and not 'shaming'

In my world, women who birth through CS are treated with pity (Like someone who is/was ill) and care

mcdokwe:
Op for those women telling you to tie wrapper, insult him mama, insult him papa, tell him he wasn't good enough in bed and all that, but fail to understand how a defence from you is enough to bring about a more ferocious attack not to talk of when you put up an attack yourself.

Let's assume you tell him he isn't good enough in bed and he tells you it is so because you've been a LovePeddler and insatiable nko or he decides he isn't going to do it with you anymore since he isn't good enough?

If I got you right, he has been abusive without a justifiable provocation and you want to give him grounds to take it a step further eekwa?

Personally, I believe two people who truly love each other and want to build their happiness around each other can sort things out without involving outsiders (parents of spouses inclusive)

The operative word.. Two people in love.

If two people are in love, they will not want to hurt each other and if they do, they are quick to retrace their steps. Partners being in love solves 99% of the problems on ground.

It takes both parties to make the marriage work and it is obvious the husband is not disposed to making it work for now...

yhusiee:
A woman should be successful, no doubts. It is an orderly procedural thing starting with her family. Especially her husband. If she can adequately take care of her family and handle her job, then it's not a problem; but that is not the case in most cases, we women tend to focus more on one more than the other. Most of us are just not that strong. Kuddooss to the strong ones anyway!

I thought the stereotype is that women are better multitaskers?

cococandy:
It is all about the head.
Always has been

Who's head is bigger?
"My head is bigger than yours. damn right. It's bigger than yours"

Lol!

I need to get tape rule immediately

Rapmoney:
When you feel insecure about the success of another person, be it your spouse or not, there's an atom of inferiority complex.

True

cococandy:
So it's all about head huh?

Absolutely!

Their reasons might be:

She will be heady
She will be uncontrollable
He will not have a say
Etc. Etc.

All back to 'headship'

Rapmoney:
So women are even helping the men with such assumptions? My sympathy!

It is a cycle.

Nigerian society measure the headship or 'goodness' of a husband based on his pocket.

They also see the headship as a license to do as they wish aka unquestionable

A typical Nigerian husband wants to be the 'head' So his pockets has to be heavier than that of his wife.

A number of women do not want to marry a husband that is not the 'head'

Some of the women who earn higher are also very heady too

Beautiful

@Evina:

Please post pictures....

Must follow in camera o!

nicequeen:
I am NOT and have NEVER been a violent person. This is not d 1st time he's insulting me. You might not be like me. But i am a very emotional person right from childhood.
Dat word "stoopid" coming from him makes me feel stoopid for so many reasons.

Try 5mins' suggestion.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I doubt she would have know the true father was as she was cheating in the marriage.

I pray God heals him.

Hope that was not his only child?

@OP:

Let your family pray...

It might be nothing and it might be an omen