₦airaland Forum

pickabeau1:
Here women dont want trespassers in their kingdom

Women 'cherish' their kitchens, men 'cherish' their cars

Hope you don't mind when a colleague of your wife's decide to drive it out without your permission as the perfect host.

Timbuktou:
Can they walk, run or crawl into the kitchen? Are flying and teleporting into the kitchen allowed?

Just answer the kwestion and leave the entry mode for mathias

chaircover:
You seem to get it
In our home, the kitchen table is a gathering point for family, guests, gist, name it
Kids do their homework at the kitchen table
I make my beads at the kitchen table
My husband plays his Guitar at that that same kitchen table
Some evenings we all sit at that table and watch netflix, Youtube and Sky on TV
Same place where the Fridge is
For us its just a leisurely room
Every week I put cut fresh flowers in a vase
I havent measured it, but its almost the same size as my living room
Somedays I dont even sit in my living room . . yesterday I didnt sit in my living room at all before retireing updtairs for the night.
If I am in the kitchen and a guest comes to the door, they come to the kitchen to sit down and I tell them to open the fridge and take whatever they want
Last week our pastor signed a form for my son at that same kitchen table
The problem that we have is that people like to box other people into their own experiences
Its either right or wrong . . No different is allowed which boxes us all up. . .Yet the world continues to evolve.

Even the kitchens in Nigeria are free for all. I dont have a problem with it. I have more of a problem with people coming through my front door in the first instance. If I have let you through my front door, then I have given you permission to use my WC, kitchen and use my spoons and glassware. You dont need special permission for that.

In my home, my bedroom is my sanctuary. For that, you will need permission to enter

Lets learn to accomodate other peoples views. We could also learn a thing or two from each other. its not always black and white . ..but many shades of grey.

Chaircover,

I hate to be a spoil sport but you have been going round and round in circles since the last thread.

Others have dropped their opinions and this thread is for you to do same and not tell us how your kitchen operates.

Dami gave a wonderful scenario of her mom who had to sleep in someone's house she never met. Imagine you were her in that scenario, could you have entered the Arab's kitchen to cook the next morning without permission?

Simple yes or no.

Funny how the people saying those that mind are KKK etc. have not told us if they will do same as in an unknown host's house... or how they are 'reserved' and wouldn't do such.

BoboYekini:
Apologies, but what's all this about a background being an excuse for poor judgment/bad behavior? I don't care what your background is, just have common decency and be civil/non-confrontational. In fact, be friendly. Especially with guests. Or isn't that the hallmark of the traditional African culture? Hospitality( which pretty much includes allowing your guests free reign of your property) ?

.....
I think I will watch out for how chill my partner is with random guests before committing o. This is serious.

Please read the OP, I am tired of repeating myself...

CoCoLav:
No, I cannot enter someone's kitchen to cook. I cant even pass my boundaries (that is, the room allocated to me for the night).

Second question, I cant really say until I am in that situation. I might be a bit surprised but I definitely wont scream at the person. At the end of the day I might just shrug it off as not a big deal.

Thanks

pickabeau1:
Kitchen Klux Klan

LOL

Good to know our women are claiming back their kingdom

So the message here is that it is easier to sleep in an African woman's home than enter her kitchen

Hope you read the OP

Your wife can enter your friend's kitchen she has not met before without their permission like '...'oh, nice to meet you Mrs. P, please feel free to make breakfast etc. etc.'

Read the OP.

oge4real:
1. No; I may help unpack the dishwasher and make myself toast and a cup of coffee. Depends on her attitude when I offered to assist in cleaning up after dinner the previous night. That is usually when you can assess how protective a woman is towards her home/kitchen.

2. No; I will not mind if she makes some coffee and toast for her and her hubby or even if she accesses the fridge for fruits/ snacks. I will definitely be shocked if she brings out pots and pans to begin making a proper meal for the whole house. However, I'll not verbalise my concern coz she must be worth it for us to accomodate them overnight in our home instead of a hotel.

Thanks

Morning peeps,

I can see the thread has gained momentum; would like to see more opinions pouring in

Please, if you are not interested in the thread, stay away... it is ridiculous saying... 'I am not interested in the thread bla bla' and go ahead to type a thesis. Please today is Friday

Any guest unknown to the hosts who wakes up the next morning to start cooking without the host's permission is ill mannered and lacks courtesy... This is my opinion and is very self explanatory...

Now to the posts...

Orikinla:
Some are born that way.

If Michelle has to perform miracles to make her hair straight like permed hair, does it not defeat the purpose of having natural hair?

soulglo:
This is disgusting. She needs to go sit her ass at home and read a book

Very very

Except she was made up to look older than her age, she looks old.

A 13yr old should still be reading

[quote author=DukeNija post=30042593][/quote]Close ya mouth before fly enters

aderonila18:
Very unnecessary thread, people already stated their opinion on the initially thread with most people agreeing that we are different. I don't know what point you are trying to prove by starting this one

To some of us as long as I can let you sleep in my house , you can use my kitchen. Someone sleeping over in your house requires a level of trust already ( if the person had evil intentions there are a million and one ways for them to harm you without entering your kitchen ) While to some MAdams the kitchen is their kingdom and no one must enter except invited.

How can you be okay with someone sleeping in your house yet the kitchen is a no go

As for the question,yes I may depending on the circumstances. Maybe I don't want to wake my host and I have ulcer and I need to eat something. Some women ( myself included ) will even be more offended if a grown woman wakes her up for food. Nigerian women need to chill with marking kitchen as territory .

As far as I'm concerned as long as she cleans the pots, pans and everything after making her meal I have no problem with it.

Dear,

If you thought the thread was unnecessary, why bother to comment?

Your post is arguably the longest here.

raumdeuter:
1. Yes. I would rather enter the kitchen to prepare what to eat than wake them up to prepare me food.

2. Yes . SHe can make herself comfortable, I would prefer her to make her own meals to her taste

Once I welcome a visitor, I expect them to be free. If they need permission to use the kitchen, DO they also need permission to use toiler, bathroom, parlour, watch TV, take off their clothes or what exactly? If they need permission for all these then you should turn them back as soon as they enter your house

Thanks

They are not comparable

When you visit KFC (you are like a guest; forget that you paid for your stuff). You get to sit, watch TV, use the loo, walk to the counter to read flyers/menu etc.

Despite the fact you paid for your food, you cannot reach over the counter to take it; you wait till you are served. For eatries where they have stuff on the counter within your reach, you do not Just pick up stuff despite the fact that you have paid for them.

Thanks for giving your opinion

andromida:
No to both.

Thanks

Some women jamtalk, true; but to say men do not verbally abuse women or only go physical when verbally abused must be a joke.

Both women & men are capable of verbally abusing their spouses. Check NL to see wives complaints of verbal abuse amongst others.

And men who beat their wives do not keep mute.

cococandy:
I won't cook in her house if I'm not sure how she will react to it as we obviously saw that it means a lot to some folks just by viewing that thread. Better to err on the side of caution.

And No I won't mind if the lady cooks in mine whether I knew her before or not. If I agreed to let her stay when she first came,she's welcome to fix a meal for herself and her man.

taryour:
No 1. CAPITAL NO. I will never do such. All I will do is to assist her in the kitchen and with other house chores. I should appreciate and respect her her territory.


No 2, NO I wunt like it one bit, but I will condone and persuade her to let me continue, worse is if my hubby is at home at that moment I wunt feel comfortable with it at all.

Thanks

ileobatojo:
1. No
2. No
I won't stop her from cooking though, but I'll definitely bat an eyelid at her forwardness.

Thanks

SirShymex:
Lol. When are you lot ever going to get bored of baseless arguments in this section? You dragged an inconsequential topic, that should be based on the individual for over 10 pages, saying a lot without actually saying anything. But hey, that isn't enough - you had to created another topic to continue the sequel.

You lot need to understand the there are free-spirited folks in this world, just as there are folks who're reserved. And if you can invite someone to spend the night in ya house - you shouldn't restrained them from using ya kitchen. The kitchen is a public place, just as ya living room, and toilet/bathroom are. As long as they're not in ya bedroom or tampering with personal (private) stuffs - I don't see anything wrong there.

Personally, cos I keep myself to myself, and I'm always restrained when I'm not in my comfort zone - I don't think I'll do it. However, I don't have a problem with folks who're free in a public place. If you don't want folks to get into ya kitchen - don't invite them to ya house. And stop trying to trifle a trifle.

Answer:

1). Ridiculous question, no permission is required.

2). No permission is required since you invited them to ya house.

#UnFollowsThread

First, It is NOT compulsory to comment on a thread

Second, if you do not understand the thread, read the OP I quoted

Next.

Hi NL peeps,

I decided to create this thread in as a result of a previous thread to view various people's opinions (opinions cutting across gender, tribe and religion) . Check this thread for full details https://www.nairaland.com/2102329/should-allowed/7#30019304

There are two yes or no questions below:

1. If you and hubby went to one of hubby's friend house whom you have never met, will you enter their kitchen the next morning making breakfast without hubby's friend's wife giving you permission?

2. If hubby invited a friend (known to you) who brings along a lady, would you like if this lady (not known to you) wakes up the next morning and jumps into your kitchen without you permitting/inviting her to do so?


Thanks.

Please note that hubby can be replaced with boyfriend/fiancée etc. etc.

Ok, I have got an idea

Open a thread as an opinion poll

mutter:
Sorry the other man has this , "handle with care" look.

Okokokbioko!

Depends on culture, family and the impact/love felt for the member

I still have my Aunt's number who died 4yrs ago

I do not know any cultural stuff for or against it anyways

chaircover:
So I am wrong thinking . . .
Okay oooooooooo!
Ive said my own
No need to prolong
I know you are an intelligent girl and so you have picked up what you said that was wrong so no need flogging the matter.
Thats enough for me
EOD

Madam...

Was my post in reference to a host ?

Have you cooked in a person's kitchen you just met without permission as a guest?

The host did not say 'CC you are free to use my kitchen' and you just woke up and cooked there the next morning?

Ýou never answered yes or no so where is the 'right thinking' or 'left thinking' coming in?

What has this topic got to do with intelligence?

Yes, I have, no I have not simples and we progress.

chaircover:
Actually I was offended by Bukys post.
This thread has got nothing to do with a tribe but individual mind-sets.
How can she say that I was not a proper Yoruba person simply because I don’t go and fight people who I let into my house and decided to cook in my kitchen . . so what am I? . . .an alien?

I do however understand that people have different upbringing and life experiences, however these views remain personal and not global.
I am glad that this thread shows the difference in opinions. We need to have open minds and not insult when people dont share the same views.

We can’t afford be myopic in our views. Religion and culture . . very sensitive topics. Many wars have started from this.

@bold,

This was my post below... note the bolded

bukatyne:
@bolded,

I think it is a culture thing

No right thinking Yoruba person would enter another person's kitchen without permission (except she/he is on a mission to cause trouble).

It might not be a biggie in other cultures.

Did I mention anything about fight?

Can you enter someone's kitchen you did not know or met for the first thing to cook without permission? You did not answer and kept going back that you must know the person etc. etc.

It is one thing to have a different opinion, it is another thing to twist my post to suit a purpose

Any Yoruba person that can walk into a strangers' kitchen to cook or has done such without permission has the right to quote me and we discuss...

Till then, Abeg

aisha2:
I can never be offended by another persons opinions because it is their right to give it. I only responded after you tried to tell me how to state my own opinion when you freely state yours thats all, we can only debate on it and log off and live our lives.
You gave yours and I gave mine and you asked me not to get " riled up" well its my choice and my right to do so if I choose too.

I added to my post, took nothing out of it
People should stand by their views and not attempt to drag others to enter a situation they didnt create thats all I added abi am I not permitted to " edit"

No problem, we all cannot see things the same way

@bolded, no.. come and catch me

mutter:
Is a shame that the lightness of the skin is being used to judge.
That little girl in a white trousersuit is simply beautiful! The others all look okay.
The llittle boy ought to be put on a diet real fast!

On the picture above Pres. J the girls look lovely in their attires.


I gues most of you just got carried away with the colour and did not take a look at the features.

Colonia interpretation of beauty

As for President J. He is much finer and has more of the figure of a man than Buhari.
Anyway that is not the criteria for ruling a nation!

But fair or dark Buhari's children are more beautiful

@bold, who determines the 'right' figure for a man?

aisha2:
Oh yes you have. You have said anyone who behaves like that is not a right thinking Nigerian, you have also said they are not real Yorubas then the last one is that its ill mannered people. Yes you have, and if I get riled up and respond accordingly its my right to do so.

Its a simple point you don't make the rules for everyone and add negative tags to those who don't follow your rules. Leave LordReed and Damiso out of this they didn't go generalising and tagging people you did

I see you edited your post

I did not do name tagging nor did I join them in any issues.

if you feel offended by my some of my posts, I apologize however, I do not apologize for my opinions.

There is no need to take this too serious; we are neither the host nor guest in the OP.

It is all good.

Cheers.

cococandy:
not because it is bad manners actually (in my opinion) but simply because I don't know how they will react seeing as it means a lot to some folks.

Ok then

moca:
Abeg, aisha and buky, it's ok pls.
We shouldn't take this serious.
I never did.
Was just having fun.
Tot that was what everybody was doing too
It hv do abeg

There is no problem

mutter:
When I had one of my kid`s I put on allot of weight and was still in hospital. I asked my husband if he still liked me that way. He asked me if I thought he was a fool. I better loose that weight that I looked like a whale that had been stranded on Land
I busted out in tears and he tried to tell me it was a joke but he meant it.
He did me a favor because that is like an alarm bell that constantly rings in my head years later that I have to pay attention to my weight.
But that was hard especially from a man that hardly talks!

I think it is better that your husband tells you the truth than that, he goes behind your back looking for a woman that is more to his taste.
The fact that you are slim now is no excuse for you to have an unhealthy eating habit, breastfeeding is also not an excuse for gluttony.
You have two children congratulations! But when I complain about my weight my friends tell me, it is okay with the number of kid`s I have. But then is that written on my Forehead when you walk around! I have 2 Kid`s so I am allowed to be fat.

As to what you did! That is really ridiculous to say the least.
Your husband was probably not hungry but seeing you eating that bread, he got an appetite for the bread.
HE WANTED BREAD! and not something else.
So the 3/4 left over was not enough for him
You just wanted to hide it and eat it up all alone later. That was nasty of you.
IF you love your husband and he asks you for bread. You stop eating if it isn`t enough and give it to him.
That is what a woman that loves her husband would do. Even if he doesn't want to deprive you, you would insist that you have had enough.

Hope you are not eating out of frustration or boredom. I know some women who have gotten terribly fat that way and they were all skinny before

Madam!

She said the bread was not OK and went ahead to make something else for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was concerned about him; if the husband just had appetite for bread, he should have insisted that it's just bread I want and not wait till she was done cooking another meal.

Let's be fair

ileobatojo:
.

No way. The girl is a saint and madam is a demon.

And every female on this thread will walk into a stranger's kitchen (one that's apparently been giving them attitude no less) the next morning and start cooking uninvited.

LOLs!

cococandy:
first question. No

Second question, there's won't be such a scenario because I will tell her it is ok to use it the moment she gets into the house

Coco,

Thanks

That has been our point; you do not cook in someone's kitchen TILL they give you the permission to do so.