₦airaland Forum

aisha2:
Wonderful of you. However know your rules and how you live is different from how the next person lives. Am lazy and I have a 7-5 househelp. After 5pm everyone is on their own, it works for me as your method of petting guests work for you.
Riled up yes, when you type some things you dont get to determine how people respond to them. First you said no right thinking Nigerian would act like that, I corrected you, then you turned to Yorubas and Chaircover tried to correct that and you went on her about being not fully Yoruba because she lives abroad, next you come and tag people who don't act the way you approve ill mannered. If you don't know all these three instances you were OFFENSIVE and what is more offensive now is you thinking you can tell me how to respond to more offensive comments you made.

You are a wonderful guest and a wonderful host in your book, and I respect that, also respect my choice to be the kind of guest and kind of host I want to be without further offensive remarks about tribe or nationality or even manners. Thank you

I doubt I have told anyone how to behave in this thread; infact, I, Damiso and LordReed seem to go against the mainstream of this thread.

If I come to your house and tell me ... 'I have free to use the kitchen', I will thank you and use the kitchen
If you don't, I will wait till you offer me breakfast.

Have a great day

chaircover:
Buky I have indirectly answered your question but since you want it in black and white here goes . .

No - I will not mind for someone who I have let sleep in my home goes into my kitchen and cook if I have chosen not to get out of bed in the morning to see that my guests are fed and comfortable.

Yes – I will only go to sleep in homes where I am welcome, hence, will think nothing of rustling something up to eat in the morning or opening their fridge and getting a drink if I was thirsty and even washing plates in the sink if I saw any . . . . . . . and I don’t even mind cooking for the whole house while I am there.

The issue is that you should not be opening your door for or going to people’s houses that you are not familiar with or you have issues with in the first instance.

My fridge is in my kitchen and when guests come, rather than this tray and glass malarkey I prefer to tell my guests to open the fridge and take whatever they want.

And how would the wife have refused to open the door?

"Hello Cassidy... bla bla'; sees unknown face (lady) and close the door?"

Does the wife automatically trust Cassidy's lady whom she met that night because she slept there overnight?

I will only go to sleep in homes where I am welcome

Unfortunately, the Cassidy's lady did not know the family and should have had problems doing so.

rebella:
Much ado about nothing. To bukatyne questions, 1 I won't enter the a host kitchen unless given permission.
2. If a guest enters my kitchen without my permission, I wudn't fuss, I'll just make sure she has everything she wants. No time for unnecessary stress.

Thanks for your answers

aisha2:
Read well and digest slowly I have answered your question more than once self i humoured you by answering again no turn me to craze person wey go dey repeat one thing abeg. I clearly answered there abeg, and i guess it makes me " ill mannered and unright thinking Naija person "

There is no need for the bolded neither is there any need to be riled up

We all have different things that matter to us...

I would never cook in unknown person's kitchen uninvited; I would not take lightly same done to me

That said,

My guests are always treated properly and pampered; ensure they are comfortable and cozy (if PHCN does not spoil show)
My hosts always want me to come back; who would not mind freshly made beds, cleaned up bathrooms, swept living rooms and gratitude.

That's bukatyne

tbaba1234:
That I eat like a thief?? I doubt.

To be honest, when I first read it, I thought, it sounded like banter. Yabs.

If she took offense, let him know.Do not assume, he knows that he hurt you.

You doubt your wife would tell you something like that?

Why?

aisha2:
I don answer you taya. Okay I will, I have and I let guest do that in my house. I sleep late weekends, my maid comes week days, everyone is on their own on Saturday. I am hungry I will find what to chop, am thirsty I would find what to drink if you want me to ask you when to drink water or when to eat food you are on your own and I wont be in ya mansion in the first place

I never see your answer na

You will walk into the kitchen of someone you just met and start cooking?

Cool then.

moca:
Leave buky alone
She is high on ewedu leave

Moca,

I am not

Nobody is answering my kwestions

aisha2:
Is your kitchen under lock and key? If it was its another issue that one na breaking and entering. Car get key, besides driving car is not a necessity eating is

No, it's not

However no ill mannered guest will walk in to cook without prior notice or consent.

I asked two questions some posts up however no one has answered me.

Be honest, can you do what the guest did?

Walk into someone's kitchen you do not know and start making breakfast without prior notice or permission from the wife?

Yes or no would do

aisha2:
Why the emphasis on side chick? We don't know for sure she is one, scorned madam of the house decided to label her that, besides side chick no be human being?

I have said severally that I am not even concerned on the 'position' of the said 'guest' hence all the possible relationships listed.

Side chic is human but my husband's friend cannot bring a side chic to our home if

1. He has a girlfriend/fiancée we know
2. If he is married

All his friends know what we stand for

moca:
Drive the car? How?
On d other hand how can he drive the car when he don't know anywhere around?
Who will give him d key?(is it not hubby abi he knows where d car key is?)

Abeg,d two don't tally in any way. This doesn't make sense babe

It is same with entering the kitchen without having the keys (permission) or knowing her way round (how the kitchen is organized/arranged). Who also gave her the key (permission)?

moca:
That's why I like men.
Very free.
It's only few that hv time for this kind of smesme. And those types they call them sissy

Hmmm

Imagine your friend's hubby/side dude/main dude stays overnight and the next morning, decides to drive hubby's car out...

Do you think he'll smile?

tbaba1234:
Hmmm... your husband probably said that as a joke, you took offence and failed to communicate with him. Ladies are just complex creatures.

I hope you would not might if your wife said something like that to you in future

Please ladies, honest yes or no answers to these two questions below:

1. If you and hubby went to one of hubby's friend house whom you have never met, will you enter their kitchen the next morning making breakfast without hubby's friend's wife giving you permission?

2. If hubby invited a friend (known to you) who brings along a lady, would you like if this lady (not known to you) wakes up the next morning and jumps into your kitchen without you permitting/inviting her to do so?


I go first

1. No
2. No

O ya start...

Beautiful pictures

Buhari's family is lovely

The Fulanis have beauty running in their veins and they literarily are the market for Ankara fabric

chaircover:
Exactly, you see that you cant judge or speak for a whole culture by your own standards
That is my point and I am sure that youve grabbed it.

My questions were yes or no

I was asking you as a person not even culture again... that was why I specified the circumstances

Will you go to an unknown woman's home and start cooking next morning... Yes I would, no I wouldn't etc.

@your question:

If I was the OP, will I behave the way she behaved is not a yes or no question because it is behavioral; I can frown at something and cry in reaction; some else can frown at same thing and shout.

Better Yes/No questions are

Would I have minded? Yes
Would I shout? No
Would I question her? Yes

Let me answer my own questions first as a guide

bukatyne: 1. If you and hubby went to one of hubby's friend house whom you have never met, will you enter their kitchen the next morning making breakfast without hubby's friend's wife giving you permission?

Answer: NO

bukatyne: 2. If hubby invited a friend (known to you) who brings along a lady, would you like if this lady (not known to you) wakes up the next morning and jumps into your kitchen without you permitting/inviting her to do so?

Answer: NO

I am waiting for your answers

jmoore:
It is a private temple.

Lols!

chaircover:
Under the same circumstances would you have done exactly the same thing the poster did? Yes or No

You are answering my question with a question?

chaircover: You cant ask questions and demand yes or no answers.
What you have to understand is that people are different and you cant a judge whole culture by your own standards

Remember you said the above?

Waiting for your answer

mystiqueDZ:
Yeah better late than never....
Wish them well

Reminds me of ... our husband has gone mad again phrase

Funny

chaircover:
You cant ask questions and demand yes or no answers.
What you have to understand is that people are different and you cant a judge whole culture by your own standards
What you said indirectly was that anyone who doesnt have a problem with people going into their kitchens is not a yoruba girl
That I have lived abroad does not make me any less a Yoruba woman
There are a million other things that come together that makes me Yoruba


I still cant get my head round the fact that I will share a house with someone I am not that familiar or comfortable with in the first instance.
That is what hotels are for.
We have been invited to a party this weekend but its 100 miles away
We have "friends" in the city, but I wont feel comfortable sleeping in their home, so we booked a hotel close to the venue.

My questions are pretty much yes or no. I have taken into consideration the fact people & circumstances are different and specified the scenario in the OP.

You answer according to your outlook to life. If the question was thrown to me, I would have said no in both instances.

It was a straight forward question.

@ bolded, that was exactly what happened to the OP and she handled it the best way she could.

I am still waiting for your answers

moreeni:
Technically yes. It was my bf's house and I was staying over spending some time with him. His friend came from Russia and had a girl joined him there. Its really as summarized earlier,nothing different.

Ok, then

I understand you

mystiqueDZ:
I wonder.....two decades with someone ain't no small feat.....

They might have taken him to churches/mosques, seen someone doing him etc.

20yrs is a lonngggggggggggggggg time, but better late than never

I am not saying this couple should divorce; I would suggest separation (due to violence) while the husband is taken to a psychiatric hospital ASAP.

On a second thougt, if he is in the hospital there is no need for separation (they are already separated )

Ujujoan:
My point exactly! !!
There are worse things she could have done. Imo, cooking in her kitchen is not a big deal.

Funny enough, apart from the sex, those things are stuffs a guest is entitled to IMHO

mystiqueDZ:
That lady is a LIAR!!
she noticed after her first child....she went on to have four more?
Why didn't she seek treatment for him for 20 Years?

@ bolded, not necessarily

@the rest of post: That is the question..

Maybe illiteracy, poverty, superstitions etc. etc.

What are both families saying?

chaircover:
I am fully born and bred Yoruba woman and I won’t "fight" because someone else was hungry enough to cook in my kitchen

I will be more concerned that a stranger is sleeping in my home, which to me is more dangerous

What if the stranger is an axe murderer or serial killer?
.
If I trust you enough to sleep in my house, then you have my permission to enter my kitchen, have a bubble bath and sit your bum on my WC

But as Dami has explained, it all depends on the persons involved, their backgrounds, upbringing, personal experiences etc so we have to respect that.

In my home, a lot more activities go on in my kitchen apart from cooking and sometimes when we have guests we all sit at the kitchen table watcing TV & gisting instead of the living room. . . .. I do also hear that some people lock their kitchens and soup cupboards up, so really its different strokes for different folks.

I would be more concerned of the type of people walking through my door in the first instance.

I know this was in response to my post...

You are a Yoruba woman who has lived more than 10yrs outside the country (I might be wrong) and your perspective to some things have changed due to interactions...

I am a full born Yoruba lady who was born and bred in Lagos and lived with Ibo neighbors so I am open to cooking their food which a Yoruba lady born and bred in Ekiti might not do.

I ask you straight forward two questions:

1. If you and hubby went to one of hubby's friend house whom you have never met, will you enter their kitchen the next morning making breakfast without hubby's friend's wife giving you permission?

2. If hubby invited a friend (known to you) who brings along a lady, would you like if this lady (not known to you) wakes up the next morning and jumps into your kitchen without you permitting/inviting her to do so?

I want simple yes or no answers

(In this story, the position of the guest is not my biz... wifey, side/main/only/auxillary chick is of no concern to me; it changes nothing)

The wife's trust was inconsequential in this case... the lady was thrust upon her, what was she to do? I don't trust you, don't sleep in my house or develop trust for a lady she just met overnight?

LordReed:
From my own reading of the scenario the statement "going to see his family" made me believe the husband's friend was married and this strange girl is indeed a side chic. I think it's rude to just walk into a stranger's kitchen and help yourself to anything without first finding out if its OK. IMO the madam was perfectly in her rights to question why she would do such a thing. When in Rome...

Behave like the Romans

chaircover:
Its funny how we all have different perceptions about different things
I read it as his family (parents) lived in the village and he stopped over in Lagos on his way from the airport first before travelling down

This brings us back to the kind of people you let through your door in the first instance.
We wouldnt accomodate anyone who was married but brought a concubine to our home. That in its self is more disrespectful to me and my home than anyone being in my kitchen.
I trust oga. He will tell you point blank to go find somewhere else to stay for the night.

Reminds me of an uncle of mine who brough his gf to his mums home for the night. The gist I heard was that the old mama chased them both out with stick screaming not under my roof.

The wife had no say in this...

She was expecting bros and prepared adequately for him

Any marriage built on lies might not stand the test of time

When a guy has to metamorphose into something he cannot keep up with during dating/courtship which the lady loves and she starts reacting to his change, he would begin to sing that women change after marriage

Funny enough not All ladies even like All those stuffs.

I still find it very difficult to believe that anyone here would walk into a guest's kitchen and start cooking without permission which is What the crass lady did.

moreeni:
I meant it as a punishment to him. Had no problem using them but just felt like biasching about the whole episode. It never repeated itself.

I don't understand your story

You were in the position of madam in This story?

sevule:
This probably the best post I have since so far. Don't get me wrong I am happy for you that your marriage troubles are over but your husband did a very terrible thing.

Using sex as a weapon to punish you physically is morally reprehensible even if it is your husband! The act of sex in marriage is meant to be enjoyed and your husband should have exercised patience instead of raping you repeatedly.
Till date I have no idea how men enjoy forced sex. How for goodness sake would any man enjoy sex with a woman that is crying? Two wrongs never did and would never make a right.

So what happens if you make your husband angry again? Would he rape you to punish you? That said I am glad that you guys have reconciled and I wish you a happy marriage but you guys DEFINITELY have to work on your communication because it is sorely lacking.

Very true

I hope they sort out their issues. The battle might be won but the war is definitely not over

harrysterol:
expo o I dint notice I wrote out
Bukatyne sabi sabi

No, you did not

I quoted you wrongly and when I saw that, I requoted you

Check your original mail to see if the answer is there

harrysterol:
[size=30pt]Cool Facts[/size]

There are 8000 nerve endings in the clitoris while the p* has ~ 4000

Ronaldinho lost a $750,000 deal with Coca-Cola because he took a sip from a Pepsi ( funny)

The effects of jetlag are less prominent when flying from east to west

On average, Google has been acquiring one company a week since 2010

Allodoxaphobia is the fear of opinions ( this phobia is interesting )

Qn:
Can you name three religions beginning with "B"?[color=#990000][/color]

Buddhism, Baha'i, Babism

Courtesy... G*