₦airaland Forum

lawlahbammy:
I cheated on my husband and I feel great about it

This past weekend, I did something I thought I was never capable of doing. I had sex with another man who wasn't my husband. Yes, you read right. The best part about it is that I feel great *dancing*. I thought I'd hate myself for doing it. But I don't. I thought I'd regret it. But I don't. I thought I'd feel some guilt. But I don't. In fact I can't wait to meet my lover again. Once again - *dancing*. 
I love my husband, don't get it twisted. He's the father of my four children. We have been together for 23 years. But you see, he was never a faithful man. Not from the first day. He cheated when we dated. He cheated when we got married. In fact, he has another baby by another woman. A love child he had while we were married. I stayed. I never cheated. He slept with a friend. I stayed, I never cheated. He slept with 6 of his female staff, I stayed I never cheated. He slept with so many random women, I stayed, I never cheated. He even slept with our neighbour, I stayed, I never cheated. Then he said something
You see, I saw a text on his phone which he sent to one of his lovers. The lady had apparently had an abortion for him and she was threatening to contact me to tell me about their affair and guess what my husband told her?
'even if my wife catches me on top of you on our marital bed, she will ask us to continue, go into the kitchen make my dinner and still make love to me that same night on that same bed so please feel free to contact her. She's not going anywhere"

You see, he's wrong! His cheating affects me. For 23 years I have had to endure his constant philandering. My husband is rich so the women are plenty. I have cried, I have pleaded, I have threatened but it never stopped. And he thinks I'm okay with it. He thinks I am not going anywhere. Oh but he's wrong. I am going somewhere alright. To another man's bed.

I'm stuck with this man, 23 years and four children. And I love him with my life. But I'm done being the wife he thinks will catch him on our marital bed and give him a standing ovation. He wants to cheat? Well, two can play that game. After 23 years, I try now? I feel so liberated. I can't wait to meet my lover this weekend again. The last time was amazing. *dancing*(copied from Linda Ikeji Blog)

What is your opinion about this woman?

I feel she's not totally wrong and not totally right as well.

@bolded, so why did marry him or since you did, why the complaint?

My question is more of rhetorical

So this is the new trend in NL

Cheating husbands and cheating wives

God save the marriage institution

beeevan:
Hmmmm, there is no harm in trial abi, i pray God provides a means for them ASAP.

Amen

happywife:
Why will i divorce the father of my kids he is a great father and a good man. i m not that selfish the kids deserve a life with their father.

Like i said before i will stay in d hopes that things will go back to the way they were be4. in the meantime will i die in misery. no i will find ways to make myself happy

I am not the enabler here i m just fighting against a society that tells men its ok to cheat. men ve polygamous tendencies what rubbish . women ve been programed from birth by this same men to think in this stupid manner i will not

How do you intend to do the bolded maám?

tosongolabeaty:
TWO ALMIGHTY LAW(rules) FOR HAPPY HOME....
Today's Update.
Rule.1.WIFE SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND.
Rule.2.HUSBAND LOVE YOUR WIFE.
I have told you that the kind of submission God want from every woman is total submission, when you submit your self in totality your husband will show you total love.
You said: how can I submit my self to him even he is my husband he does not financially buoyant like me; you may even be the bread winner of the family; if not for you in his life ::; Yes all this excuses you have not to submit totally to your husband, may be true about you, because that is the original reason why you are his wife ; you are only manifested the script of God who institutionalize marriage.
"Bible says;" and God the lord said it is not good that the man should live alone, and he made him an help mate." So whatever you are as a woman is to help that man in your life, you are his first divine helper, appointed by God for him , God has permitted. you to be what you are so as to become an help mate to him.
From your name as a WO-MAN " WO" is a prefix used to pronounce a base or original word "MAN" so without man, will would not have had WO...but MAN made it complete. Remember the lord God brought you out from man.
So Learn to submit, I mean humble your self in totality because that is the original problem you have with your him that cause hatred in your home.
Word of wisdom to remembered listed as following; 1. God the creator of happy home know that man will not submit to you and man will not fall in love easily : that why he said you should submit your self, by the time you obey him in all this your love will grow more and more in his heart.
2. Your husband will love you so dearly if and only if you submit your self to him.
3. He will fined it so difficult to shirt on you; even if he does there will be a great fear in his heart because you submitted totally to only him.
3. Total submission will make him to think of you always.
4.That man will not want to hut your fillings for him because you submitted to him in totality. So try to come down and you will see that he will love you again and again...
Rule 2; HUSBAND LOVE UR WIFE..... To be continue........... Ask your question here .....and let share it together ...thanks(prophet tosin olabode)

@bolded:

Husbands are to love first and the wives submit if we are following the model of Jesus Christ and the Church

roWzayy:
yes n dats y he resulted to locking his phone

Now you know, what do you want to do?

Would appreciate honest answers

Thanks

roWzayy:
He is always locking his phone in order to keep me away from it..sometimes he stays up late night chatting on whatsapp n Bbm I have always been suspicious of him n passwording his phone is more or less like a confirmation dont know what to think anymore

Have you caught him cheating before?

.

juwoonn:
definitely you've never served before.
2 people were decamped in my set. NYSC get camp rules. barrack and camp are two different things, likewise NYSC Camp and PPA.

I have never served before

I just have a certificate to show for it

*Singing* what a marvellous God, He has done wonderful things for me... ewoo

beeevan:
Employees are in no position to issue conditions, especially where menial job that pays as much as 30k is involved.

She will not issue it as a condition, she will appeal to them

coogar:
i think she should take the job with a condition to bring her husband in as a driver, security man or a gardener. by so doing, the family remains intact.

Exactly what I wanted to suggest

Quite a number of families here prefer matured women than househelps to mind their kids

@OP: God will take control

So OP, is cheating back your final answer?

What I do not honestly get is why you think cheating on your husband is better/makes you a better woman than leaving leaving him.

crackhaus:
So when the wife is busy insulting and cursing, what should he do?

You did not quote the full post, my suggestion was there which was made before I saw he was a cheating *

saucechilli:
I just finished cursing the blokus sef.

Mtcheeeew.

Lol!

craziebone:
well knowing you guys so well, i am not convinced you would be asking the same question. I can pull out threads on this website where your people have applied the double standard.

It is possible that you are different- one in a million. But you know and i also know (and i'm not going to argue this) that when it is the guy that slapped the woman, nobody would be asking what the lady did. My statement in my last post "even if he was wrong, you think you are a moral authority to punish anyone" is actually a statement i heard from a feminist when there was a case a man physically abused a lady and some people were saying there are two sides to a coin and that the other side had to be heard.

@bolded, I do not find it funny

My grouse is not about the rightness or wrongness of the female corper slapping the male corper; my point is that the punishment does not justify the action and seems strange.

I remember the case of theft; the thief was not even decamped sef

craziebone:
it always has to be some oga at the top want to sleep with someone. Like i said...I wonder why people do not think women are humans who would want to dominate and feel they are some moral authority to punish anyone!

Bros, I am not here for women's right or left this afternoon.

Even if it was reversed, I will be equally amazed.

If a friend tells me he was decamped because he slapped a female corper, I will tell him to tell me another story. I am viewing this through my camp experience and it almost sounds impossible

I discussed it with my colleagues and they think I am joking

They could come out with the real story

Girls slept in boys hostel and they were not decamped it is now for one slap that people around might not notice?

cococandy:
Oh yea. I saw the repentance later.

Er they can't leave because they don't want to be evil divorced feminists who couldn't understand their places as virtuous African women and swallow poo while smiling and "keeping" their marriage. Who wants to be the irresponsible after-one or four (as the case may be ) who couldn't keep her marriage?
Better to sit there and fight for the marriage.

Some people don't event know fighting for their marriage means fighting outside forces intent on ruining the marriage. To some fighting for the marriage is fighting the man and placing curses on him too.

LOL!

The thing is tiring

craziebone:
see the question you are asking. Well, i agree with you that we need to look into the matter before coming out with a verdict. But i want you to be honest, will you ask this same question if it were the other way round?

Yes I will and the post below still stands

bukatyne:
I don't think so
I am thinking she is very rough and have done a lot of things in the past and this was the last straw
OR
Some oga @ the top wants to sleep with her and she's not bulging.
I find it difficult to believe that anyone would slap someone and get decamped. How did the officials know? Where they there? If reported, was there proof?
I would find corporal punishment or sleeping in the guardroom for days more believable
Even soldiers in barracks don't lose their jobs for slapping

Seun:
She's a woman. All the people in authority in NYSC camp are men. She has no advocate except her fellow female corpers who have no power.

I don't think so

I am thinking she is very rough and have done a lot of things in the past and this was the last straw

OR

Some oga @ the top wants to sleep with her and she's not bulging.

I find it difficult to believe that anyone would slap someone and get decamped. How did the officials know? Where they there? If reported, was there proof?

I would find corporal punishment or sleeping in the guardroom for days more believable

Even soldiers in barracks don't lose their jobs for slapping

Seun:
This is cool as long as it applies to both sexes. I find it hard to believe that a male corper who slaps a female corper will also be decamped.

I believe there is more to this story

Corpers fight with soldiers sef and are not decamped

cococandy:
does op tell you he cares about accusations of adultery?
He wants to cheat and have madam swallow it without complain.
Na the complain be the cursing.

See me condemning the lady before for being ill mannered without knowing that the op brought it on himself. That's why when some men complain about nagging wives,it is good to try find out what the woman is nagging about.
Our people say where you have someone constantly nagging,there's also someone there always doing/not doing what they are not supposed/ supposed to do.

You did not see my 'repentance' below?

bukatyne:
See me speaking in tongues not knowing that the OP is a cheat!
Curse kor, cause ni.
She never curse/cause your blockus to shrink? That is a good starting point

I do not understand why women cannot leave cheating husbands instead of tormenting their husbands/themselves

What did the slapped do?

@OP:

Nice one

bolasexy:
Am really fed up nd blaming my self getting married in d first place.I am a full housewife doing nuffn buh 2 take care of my 14months old baby,a caterer buh my. Hub don't want me 2 continue cos he believes I will b influence,I toldd him some mnths back dat I'm interested in makeup and make enquiry here on nairaland. I was suprised wen he told me I won't do anything until our baby starts school.d point is I have a lot of friends nd weneva I c dem I feel ashamed of maself cos dey aree far beta dan me,had it been I was working I know I will have o lot,infact I can count d numbers of tym I bought clothes 4 my baby.the worst part of it is dat he gat no secret nd der is third party.sorry 4 d long story is just dat I av no. 1 2 share my feelings with instead of committing suicide cos m reallyy bored.

When did you plan for your baby to start school?

Where you working before you married?

@suicide, biko hold ya sef

bukatyne:
That is dangerous

If the OP claims that her curses does 'work', what is the guarantee that she would not place a curse for him to die?

@OP: when everything is relatively quiet, just jejely pack a small box or if you can afford it, buy new set of clothes/toiletries move out and stay with relatives/parents/hotel where people can vouch for you (so that accusation of adultery does not enter the story) and tell your & her parents all the matter.

After her parents have cured her problems/you have prayed and you are convinced, you move back home

If you die (God forbid evil), she might repent and God will accept her with open hands...

Life nor get duplicate o!

See me speaking in tongues not knowing that the OP is a cheat!

Curse kor, cause ni.

She never curse/cause your blockus to shrink? That is a good starting point

dein77:
Experience has shown me that our wives don't just disrespect us; we must have given them reasons to be rude. Women are a very perceptive group of people.

If we own up to our expected duties, our wives will respect us. Women aren't fools......

OP, please dispassionately look inwards; you may find reasons why she's behaving the way she does....

The society is really skewed against the women folks. They are almost always blamed for whatever challenges a marriage suffers.

Beautiful

I will say some women are devils even if their husbands literally worship them

crackhaus:
Anytime she starts talking, take a walk and shut the door behind you as you exit.

That is dangerous

If the OP claims that her curses does 'work', what is the guarantee that she would not place a curse for him to die?

@OP: when everything is relatively quiet, just jejely pack a small box or if you can afford it, buy new set of clothes/toiletries move out and stay with relatives/parents/hotel where people can vouch for you (so that accusation of adultery does not enter the story) and tell your & her parents all the matter.

After her parents have cured her problems/you have prayed and you are convinced, you move back home

If you die (God forbid evil), she might repent and God will accept her with open hands...

Life nor get duplicate o!

MojAyo:
okay, whatever

Whatever to you too

I can come here and rub your head however, I will just be deceiving you and go offline to my life.

I am glad you are spurred to do something about your situation. 3yrs down the line, you will look at this thread and laugh about it.

All the best to you and your family.

MojAyo:
I think dats for ur mother,I never use my mother to play on nairaland,so pls,watch what u say

I think you need comprehension lessons.

Did you not see I was responding to a post

Sophyrocks:
Very True. And we do have a lot of du.mb mothers because a lot of ladies now are getting du.mber and du.mber.

LOL!

moca:
^^what r u saying?
Something must have been going on btw these two else I see no reason why he should not go and celebrate with d bro.
This is something people has to cross continent to go and celebrate with their loved ones. It can't be shifted. Alas, he was informed two months earlier.
This always means a lot to d celebrant.

Yes, even if his intro fall in that day and he didn't know, he can shift it.
If I'm d lady, these r d kind of things I will look out for. Fixing his intro on d same day his bro is doing his convoc can make me cancel d marriage. It tells a lot about that man.period.

The lady can even see it as he loves me yada and when he becomes balogun in the marrriage, she will say he has changed

Icherishu:
One of the things I have learnt is never to expect from people. Because all these sense of entitlement is what makes people angry. He is my bro he is supposed to be there for me or she is this why will she do that?

Though as humans, we are inclined to expect especially from friends and family but we should tune our mind to 50-50. Since he wants to go allow him. Just be happy for yourself that you are making progress in your life.

This should be an eye opener to things that may come in the future. If I were to be the lady, if the introduction can be fixed another day. I will gladly shift it so that both of us can attend your convocation.

I agree @ last paragraph

I would not blame the lady: it is how your carry your family people will carry them too