₦airaland Forum

aisha2: Its easy to blame men for all our woes when we women enable it.

While dating you see it all. Women who will feel superior to other babes because they are the "main chicks" and others are the "side chicks" forgetting that they are all equall sharing the same pen-is, meanwhile her defination of main chick is that he has unprotected se-x with her and protected se-x with others such foolishness.

You see them desperately fighting and working to just become Mrs even when the husband is obviously not a husband material. I married "late" by Nigerian standards so yes I have seen plenty, when at 29 I refused a proposal because the man cheated you would think I murdered someone, I was declared doomed to be forever single, I was advised to look the other way, all men are like that I would never find a husband bla bla bla. Me with my stuborn head I no gree, I said better I be single than married and misearble not knowing where my husbands peni-s will be resting daily. The man obviously used to dealing with the mentality of some women was even saying " ehnn, even if I have my weakness shouldnt you pray for me instead?". I simply reminded him that I wasnt his mother and I wanted to marry a sane responisble adult not an over grown baby

When women stop marrying silly men they will adjust but as long as women continue accepting any and everything and count themselves "lucky" to be married to a man who is obviously not ready mentally to be married we will keep seeing stroies that touch

Hmm

But when women are encouraged to stay for the kids, why wouldn't the kids especially females think that way daddy behaves is ok? And why will she leave a man with daddy's characteristics?

ileobatojo: You don't know they are the real 'wife material' ni? Don't knock their hustle.

Where have you been?

How are you and family?

Take care

P.S.: 5minsmadness has started siding the man na

The woman will still come back to beg.

You know respect is NOT reciprocal/mutual that's why men can treat their spouses like sh.it

The man is only trying to be a Naija hubby. The woman has started begging

Mynd44: I find it more disturbing that the woman wants to beg him.....

Nor bi naija we dey?

You want another woman to come and enjoy all her hardwork

She is fighting for her home

CityNG: Just take both knees out from 100 yards first so that she stops running, then send a round from up top down into her heart for an instant kill and little blood loss.

Then let the suited up clean up crew take her away and then decom the kill zone.

These are serious times that requires serious actions.

I'm not advocating killing folks just because they have Ebola but if you escape from quarantine and risk infecting others then you've basically given up your right to life.

I agree with you

Anybody who knows he/she has EVD and still escapes from quarantine should be killed on sight or poisoned

Desperate times call for desperate measures

Cutekemitola: from what I have read about yuh,you sound very humble...and you r still young to be thinking abt dat now,though som other people ur age,might be married...yuh have to get ur priorities right...all I can say is dat: You should pray to God,he is our father and he is gonna lead you to the right lady at the right time...

Sister,

32 is not young o!

Some of his mates have stopped birthing kids

@Seun: Very nice stuff you have built with your hardwork, determination and persistance.

I see you achieving much more in a few years. Dangote started off like this you know

More power to your elbow

beeevan: Agreed!

You must pay me agreement fee

My bank account details are ... loading

Tallesty1: The "means" will come from her husband. She said she prefer to stay at home. Dunno her reason.

@Bolded, why?

Has her hubby gotten her to open up?

There must be a reason (Fooli.sh or not)


P.S.: Wives that some husbands would grab in a heart beat

I now see why all your colleagues make you their sexu.al confidant

Well done

5minsmadness: 3. Not surprised that you replied missionary mostly in this one. This is the most common position for a 'lets get it over with' sex life. Sorry but that's your fault. Why stay in one place? Do you know the missionary position is the quickest way for a guy to ejaculate? Why, you ask?

In the missionary position the man's focus is mainly on your vagina. He is supporting himself on his hands and knees while drilling the woman who by the way is just lying there 'like a log of wood'. Most times if its a pot-bellied or fat man the woman feels compressed and can't move. The man requires extra effort to free one hand to handle madam's breasts or maybe to take a break to lean forward and kiss her but otherwise its 'drill-drill-drill-pop champagne" and everybody goes to sleep.

Its boring, but its a great way to have kids. Also since the man focuses more on drilling he will definitely pop faster.

Your man by now will be too scared to change the routine by himself. You can take the initiative and do it. When he has drilled to some extent push him off and move to other positions, preferably starting with the 'woman-on-top'. This has numerous advantages.

A. The change in position will pause his tempo and increase the time it will take for him to pop.

B. When you are on top you do most of the work. This will give Oga time to 'rest' thus in turn giving him more stamina.

C. You are the one in charge so you know how to move to achieve better pleasure.

D. Oga has better access to you breasts, tummy, legs. While he is caressing you, your pleasure increases. When he sees you excited he will be like 'hey, she's enjoying this!' And this in turn will excite him. So you both win.

E. When you feel he wants to pop, you can get off and caress and kiss him until the feeling comes down then start again.
This by itself will improve your sex life tremendously. On to the next one.


4. Has been taken care of by you. Be adventourous for him! He will learn to follow suit.

5. You have said he enjoys MouthAction being done on him, so he doesn't see it as a taboo. So why doesn't he do it on you?
Well, why should he? Let's turn the tables round a little. Do you take time to wash down there very well? Can youbeat your cheat and say it doesn't smell? What about hair, when last did you shave? Does he encounter stringy multicoloured hair when he visits your honeypot?
Men love dishwashing we really do. The only thing that puts us off is the look or smell of the place. Have you as a lady ever had a guy go down south on you, past your belly button, down, down, and then suddenly pause and start coming up again with style? Its because he met a roadblock of some kind. For some guys its hair. For most guys its the smell.

The Indian women who partook in the Kamasutra actually had a ritual before they engaged in 0ral sex. They would bathe themselves and then stand over sweet smelling incense for one hour. By the time they met their lords that place will be smelling like a flower.

Today you don't need to stand for an hour. Simply have your bath and spray with perfume or preferably a mild doedorant and you are ready. Please note you are not spraying into your vagina! Wash inside with clean water and then spray the surface with a gentle deodorant. Shave completely, let it be smooth as a baby's bottom. That's has two advantages:
A. Most men get aroused when you shave down there. It shows neatness and thoughtfulness. It also makes us feel you like sex and that's a turn on for any man, spirokoko or not.
B. Most guys identify your privates with the Hairy border. Its like a roadblock. If there's no roadblock he has no official place to stop, he'll keep going down until he reaches the promised land without even knowing it.

Now he has a reason to go down on you. But he won't do it cos its been a long time or he feels angry he has to do it before you do him (the condition you gave him) etc etc. This is where positions come into play. This is a dance and you are taking the lead. 69 him. While you are doing that its only natural for him to smell your sweet scent and wonder what else he can do with that place.
Brb

Tallesty1: You have a good analytical mind. The old man asked him if they were having problems before because their reaction was strange. The man said that he had told her many times to get a shop where she will be doing her work but she refused. So one can see that the problem didn't start that day.

Did the husband find out if she had the means to get a shop? And if yes, the reason(s) why she had not gotten one?

TribalEAST: @bolded I guess he tore the cloth to show her that the well-being of their children is far important than a cloth that might end up being used as rag by thesame children.

You are joking right?

So the man disrespects wife; teaches the children to disrespect her and somehow by magic he expects her to respect him?

The moment child came to report mummy to daddy, daddy should have told child sorry (since mommy has slapped) and warned him never to go near mommy's cloth again.

I guess if your tailor told you that his/her child stepped on your dress and ruined it, you will smile and say 'it is ok, afterall the child is more important than the clothe'

beeevan: If she hits you first, i don't expect you to stand staring like an Iroko, its called self defense.


Your friend and his wife are special cases, how many sensible men will publicly question their wives disciplinary action. Their issue is deep seated, for the kids to be reporting their mother shows the the family isn't United in any way. Tearing her cloth was a very silly thing to do, they fit themselves.

Exactly!

The father was wrong to question the mother's disciplinary methods in front of the child corrected

@OP: This your story does not do well for your cause because the husband tore the clothes she was sewing after she kept mute

It is wrong to hit a lady except if she hits you first in a non-violent confrontation

snubish: introspective article, but a little presumptive. Anyway there's a lesson for both genders here. Men should understand that women are complicated creatures of instinct. It is better to give a woman what you perceive she needs rather than what you think 'all' women want. Why would you want to go all romantic on a hood rat when clearly she has other ideas what a man should be like. Too much of everything is bad, and men should learn to strike a balance between being tender and being testosterone driven, selfish, strong, masculine males. Women, appreciate a good man when you find one, the grass is always greener on the outside, communicate your needs effectively to your man, and guide him towards fulfilling those needs.

Thank you at the bolded!

Women love bla bla, diamonds are a girl's best friend (join the one wey dey go deeper life) etc. They will not study want the exact woman wants

Same thing with the women

drnoel: tell em

LOL!

pickabeau1: Logical but not sure it applies in most of the cases..

Do you have more male pals or female

Which of the genders have u enjoyed working with more?

I enjoy working with people based on personality and not gender

It actually applies in most cases

Most men that are very unyielding are seen as 'harsh'

pickabeau1: Good.. most ladies i know roll with guys more easily than ladies and they definitely prefer male bosses

To your question.. i dont get the context...

Most of them prefer male bosses because they are easier to walk over

A little pouting and what not will make some male bosses fall to the whims of their female subordinates

Female bosses do not care for all that and just wants the job done

Humans usually want the easy way out

babygirlfl: Very true. Most women that think other women are bad are not good themselves

Very funny

All women expect me are bad, wicked bosses etc. etc.

Well Well

As a female, it is logical I learn from a fellow female how to lead in future

Blockus: Na them dey use their suffer head situation as yardstick for how marriage should be..



Most of the Guys commenting on this thread are the type that would make their wives quit their job the day she starts making more money than them.

LOL!

And tell them it is best for the family thereby breeding frustrated wives who become frustrated teachers(I do not know why teaching is seen as the go to job) who in turn breed frustrated children

uplawal: Pls tell me,what does it mean?btw,those that are in the reality are giving examples,you have to judge by majority of examples sometimes,are you married?,all those things you just ignored makes up marriages,each duties to both,its just a natural thing to trust your kids over your spouse.Next of Kin is not denying of Inheritance,wife before the death of the man and younger brother and children after the death of the man.

It doesnot matter if I am married or not, does it?

My point is that it is wrong to trust anybody more than your spouse and I have not said those things do not matter in marriage but they are not the essentials.

My problem with Nollywood is that they act the 'reality' instead of the ideal thing so at the end there is nothing to learn from it. I am sure that some people would have read blokus' posts and determined to be the type of spouses that are trust worthy.

This is a hypothetical situation so there is no 'reality'; let us promote the ideal thing.

Thanks

ladygogo: The mind boggles. . There are very few marriages in naija. Most couples are just living like flat
mates.

And you will see them championing marriage cause like no tomorrow or mocking single ladies/guys

Nashville: What an interesting debate.

Bottom line is that if you have been a great husband to your wife; you will have little to worry about. But if you beat your wife, cheat on her, treat her like a dog, then you will be worried she wants to kill you and take your property.

Someone said earlier that most people are not really married and I quite agree with that. They just live together and make babies. Unfortunately, a forum like Nairaland with a majority of young people just shows that the next generation have a disjointed understanding of marriage. They go into marriage full on suspicion, lack of trust, and in some cases even hate. How can these people have good marriages? How can you marry someone you do not trust? Don't you think she will know that you don't trust her? How do you think she will react? By loving you more? Gush!! Damn!!

How can you get married and then feel your wife is going to kill you? Why marry a potential killer? Why would she want to kill you when you have done nothing wrong? Some of you guys are better off single for life. Seriously, some men DO NOT deserve a wife. Unfortunately some silly women will still marry you guys and entertain us in the family section. But honestly, some of the posts on this thread have been very disappointing to read.

Very very true

The types I call 'Nigerian' husbands like the 'Nigerian' god

9 year old learning how to shoot?

Are they preparing for war or is she preparing to join the Defense Academy?

RIP to the dead

When there seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel, breakthrough is around the corner

Don't give up, don't join any shady stuff, don't go seeking answers in unsavory places.

And do not go fighting diabolical powers with diabolical powers if you find out they are responsible. (No house fights against itself)

whyalwaysme: Like I said. No one can ever fully understand.

For example I bought all my office furniture about 3 years ago planing to set up. Now they are still lying at home.
The physical part is at least 70% working another N1.5m my business is running at full steam.
I have the clients and the network.
Why do the big transactions stall when they are about to crystallize. In my business if a client is not comfortable it is obvious. However they usually bring along their lawyers.
Also I dont get duped all the time. I was duped of a large sum out of the client's error and another person' s greed. the money was meant to fire up my business.
Spiritually.I always believed that God rewards honest labour.
When I was in paid employment i never used to pay tithes but I was not lacking maybe because i was single. Deals were coming also. Going to church was occasionally.
However as I matured i got closer to God and started paying tithes, visiting motherless babies and also sowing seed. But it amazes me that now that I need his help Im seeming abandoned.
If you think I dont pray enough well I dont know if you are the judge of what prayers get to God.
But I believe that in your most sober and quiet time you can communicate with God.
I also believe that sometimes you can get a sign.
I have never got any sign. So naturally as a human being i ask questions. I then open up my mind to absorb knowledge from other facets of life to answer my questions.
In such situations do I get some strange yearnings.
I have a very open mind to learn and im never ashamed to learn new things.
Religion has blinded some people in Nigeria but if im being influenced by diabolical forces i will fight. If I need to relocate to chibok to be successful then I will do so.
I require realistic and intelligent answers to my issues like Eddlad' s.
I have since planned to diversify but the bulk capital still has to come from the business which I know best.but I have to plug the leak first before I make sure I can use the pail.

I understand where you are coming from

These things are not straight as an arrow and I was just trying to look at all angles

Can you go back to understudy your boss or work for him? (This is for you to learn the ropes while still earning something your family can survive on)

As for your kids' schooling, are there cheaper schools they can go to even if it is public (I know standard but at all at all na im bad pass) and you tutor later at night so that they necessarily do not miss any level and you withdraw them when you become balanced

When your wife says you taking steps to do different things, she will definitely come around

whyalwaysme: Pal,
I dont know.o. I bought all my furniture before I registered my firm. I just could not rent the office because it would start running so I had to quit 1st.
I cant say for sure but almost 100% sure not my parents they are very strict Christians. My dad was overpaid his pension by 45k and he went the next day to return it. He taught his kids the dignity of honest labour.
I got closer to God after I started a family but I have never received a sign from God.
I have asked Him for certain things which are not even material but they did not happen
Even in my most sober and when im closest to him.but being who I am. If something is not working i will ask questions. I dont move blindly.
Supposing i was supposed to be a Muslim or a Buddhist?
It may seem blasphemous but I like to have answers to my questions.

Nashville: Young man,

Life itself is a struggle and you need to keep on moving. Some of the most successful people you see today have had more disappointments than you; but the reason why they are so successful is that they never stop trying. Thomas Edison who invented the light bulb tried almost two hundred times before finally succeeding. Abraham Lincoln who is hailed as probably the best US President ever, lost close to thirty elections before becoming president. So you know what? You are not alone in failed attempts - but that does not mean you are a failure.

There is no strong force behind your failure. It probably just means there is something about that business you have not figured out. You may think your business plan is great, but I will advice you to show a trusted friend or relative about it and let them critic it for you. You may not even understand all the risks involved and that is why you have been failing in the business. Something is missing and you need help. There are a few options here for you.

1. Go back to paid employment - you were doing well and this is a sure guarantee of steady income. It may also give you more time to learn about the business and its operating environment so that you are better able to assess the risk involved. It is not necessarily giving up, its just like going back to learn more and besides you have bills to pay.

2. Form a partnership with someone else. This may seem like you are giving out your idea, but often times, one man is never an island. We all need help even in running our own businesses and you may find someone that will compliment your strengths. So he may be strong in the areas where you are weak. Nobody is Mr. Know-it-all and I think that may be your greatest problem. You might not know you need help but you do. So bringing someone else into that business as a partner may open new doors for you and also help you see some knew dimensions you have not thought of.

3. Get coaching and mentors. Building successful businesses is not always very easy. You need to talk to people who have been there before and learn from them. Let them tell you about the things you should watch out for. No business plan is perfect and you are already finding out now. Get experienced people to work with you and help you.

4. Don't give up on your dreams. This is the truth. If you feel you have a product to offer, then pursue it; but pursue it with sense. Give yourself time and do not rush. Doing business can be tough in Nigeria and you must ensure your family has enough to eat before venturing into it. Don't blame God or your wife. Your wife has been perfectly understanding and you need to thank her for that. You need to work on yourself and make sure you are well equipped to be an entreprenuer.

@Godmystrenght, I see you

My elder bro has spoken..

OP, I would say look into this advice and also go for special prayers. I like the fact you are a Christian and believe in prayers so it is easy. There are several facets and special prayers/deliverance will help because:

> It might be something you or wifey did when you were younger (Have you ever duped any one small or big? Did the person curse you? or pray in pain? You know some youths can be very naughty and take everything as a sport)

> Have you noticed such pattern in your family?

> It might be what your parents did in the past

> Did you inquire from God before starting the business? Getting the property you are selling? Renting your office space etc.

> It might be frustrations of the devil or someone not happy with your progress

On another note, you might not be cut out for business or it might not be time.

As for wifey, she is just been disappointed. You acknowledged earlier she was your pillar of support before she became discouraged. Don't worry, God will put smiles on your faces

Hang on, it is well

Please and please do not even think of cutting corners. Sorrow may last for a night but joy cometh in the morning Ps 30: 5b

aisha2: Sweety am fine jor. #bedrest# things.

Are you preggers?

*baby 2 on the way

uplawal: The answer is your blood is better,hence your kids,part of you runs in your children,whereas your wife came from somewhere not from you, so its easier trusting that part of you.

Seriously?

Do you know what a husband or wife entails in the sense of the word? I am not talking of cleaner, cook, financier, moneybag, ATM, plumber, electrician, se.x partner, baby making machine or surname donator.

I am talking of husband et wife

Do you know what it really means?

Kachisbarbie: Then they are not man/wife...
It only means there is no trust, I started handling my husbands' finance even before we got married. The only reason I wasn't next of kin then was because dey insisted on blood relation.
Immediately we got married, he changed it to me. I was the 1 dat even forgot to change mine bc I run a life assurance with my bro as my next of kin. I had to run and go change mine too.
Why would I even wanna kill my husband nd run off with his money? That's sick
Anyday I ever start norturing such a tot, I think that's d day we should separate.

My dear,

Some people are NOT married and do not understand what marriage means

Should my husband/wife know my salary?
Should tell my husband/wife about the raise?
Should I build a house in my name only or let my spouse know?
Should I have investments hidden & separate?
Should I iron my wife's shirt?
Should I cook rice for my wife?
Should I cook chicken for my hubby (I like fish more)?
Should I? Should I not?

Kia it is boring!

Even if the other party deserves such treatment, the marriage is not healthy in the first place.

Scyllapatron: don't mind her biased judgement, from her post you can smell the desperation. only those who see marriage as opportunity to inherit wealth lack the knowledge that husband and wife should work for the children's future, and not to drag inheritance with children.

You obviously did not understand my posts either

And he is a he and not a she

IzyLuv: 1. Boil desired quantity of yam in a bigger pot (to allow for turning). Wen its done, transfer into a basket to sieve off water.
2. Heat the pot and then add adequate red oil (note that veges will soak up the oil)... allow to heat.
3. Add sliced onions, ground pepper, salt and maggi to taste, ukpaka if available and green vegetables(sliced... and no amount is too much) , stir.... at this point, ur oil has disappeared but it will reappear ...
4. Allow mixture to cook for few minutes....
5. Add white yam, and turn to mix, using a wooden spoon...
Food is ready to be served... best eaten witout cutlery.

NB: crayfish is nt used... i have no idea why.
;Water is not added.... the veges cook wit their own water...

Thanks dearie will try it this week

Hmmm very interesting

You mean men no follow like nice gals?

Na waya!

pickabeau1: Point 1
No...you r mixing jumbling multiple things together
Your statement could be interpreted to say when there is a problem ..bail .. Irrespective of kids

I said ...staying because of kids is not always a bad thing as it could resuscitate the relationship

Its not about what is popular


Not all marital problems are because the father is cheating..

Point 2
On blaming..why always the men or husbands.why not a portion of this blame for the ladies who persist in this warped mindset.

Point 1: I have not said people should bail at all martial problems neither have I said that all problems are causes by men cheating. I would have used the standad he/she but most men divorce/send away cheating wives so it does not apply

Point 2: Most ladies who do not tow the line of their fathers during husband choosing are those whose mothers did not stay with their fathers. Which mouth will a cheating father tell his daughter to be wiry of cheating men or a mother who condoned such tell her daughters? The question any reasonable daughter should ask is 'are you saying daddy was not a good husband or a good role model?'

If we do not want to live right because of our spouses, let us do so because our children are watching us, learning from us, oaking us up. Let us live our lives in such a way that when people say 'you are the son of your father or the daughter of your mother' our faces shine with pride of a job well done.

donpeey22: Please i have a question to ask those of saying that it's silly to make one's sibling or parent next of kin. My question is: is it also silly for me to be 'wasting' my hard earned money in paying my late uncle's son's school fees and meeting his other needs and even those of his mum atimes since his dad died leaving nothing to inherit? Please answer me so that i can stop spending my money on the lad and channel all the money in building my own family. Thanks in advance.

Please take care of your uncle's son however put your family first.

God will reward you