₦airaland Forum

Sagamite: For all the learners, this is a suppression tactic.

It is meant as a challenge of you masculinity to get you to shut up so they have more mugus they can pat on the back as "real men".

Always remind them that they have more testimonies, will probably have lasting testimonies in future and they are likely to suffer more in the battle of the sexes.

Unfortunately, when you ridicule them when they moan about this in future, there will be some moronic real man coming to tell you that it is wrong and not gentlemanly, so he can get his daily affirmation sustenance from the women that will not give him face until the game is over.

I have a passionate dislike of real men.

[quote author=soul_glo]So true. I have realized that it is not just the women that want it that way. The men do it to give themselves this false sense of superiority. As if the woman will grow a p3nis and impregnate him if she starts contributing financially. After they have equated their worth as a man by being the one that pays all the bills they turn into insecure and bitter tyrants because their wives are making money. The wives in turn see them as less because when they made the money they acted more like their superior not their friend. Now the tables are turned nobody wants to be friendly and nobody wants to compromise. The man himself will be too embarrassed to ask the woman to chip in because he knows he blew that chance with his behavior when he made the money. In summary stupid pride. Something Nigerians are very good at. Prideful over silly things. Like a woman slapping her husband because she paid for the pot or the freaking soup in the pot and a man telling his wife to "pack out of his house" because he knows for a fact she has no where to go. SMH. Please don't feel too sorry for them. They will not change.
It is virtually impossible to plan for the future together without knowing what each other makes but you still see cases were either husband or wife is buying land and building houses in Nigeria without the other knowing. They all have their motives so don't feel bad for them. If the wife does not know how much the husband really has then she will have no idea when he spends $5000 on another woman. If the man does not know what his wife makes then he will not know that she has opened a boutique in Nigeria and paying the school fees of her entire extended family. All this money that should have been accounted for and agreed upon as a couple.

When Nigerians start understanding that money is not what makes a man or woman, when they start understanding that the things that are important in life are our moral values then maybe they could weather the storms better. Being able to pay bills does not make you a man. Even animals act movies and get paid LMAO. Being able to cook soup and give birth to sons does not make you a woman even your 13 year old child slave you brought from the village can do both. Don't feel that because you pay the bills you have fulfilled your role as a husband and because you cook and your husbands stomach is so distended he looks like he needs to be de-wormed you now have a certificate of womanhood and should bring nothing else to the table. Those times have passed.[/quote]Take 5

[quote author=Saudat-Shopping]Local and International agencies are constantly promoting women empowerment, girl child education, active participation of women in board room politics and national politics. Although this is very good because women also have a lot to offer; this new shift is causing a huge problem in the family/homes. The men have been pursuing their careers for years without problems because they have effectively delegated the home to a competent person, the wife. Now that the wife is also leaving the home to pursue her career the problem arises. Our culture as Africans is for the woman to take care of the home and children, we can not escape that no matter how we try to be modern. What we as women can and must do is to delegate what we can to competent people. If both spouses are working it means there is more disposable income available. Make smart options with your extra income, use this to recruit a competent nanny for your children or an after-school care service, use a wash man or dry cleaner, use a fresh food delivery company like www.easyshopeasycook.com to help make sure your house has all the fresh foods and household items you need so you reduce market runs, work smarter in the office so you can finish early to come home on time to be with the family. Once you have delegated properly your home duties which can be delegated you will have enough time and energy to do other things that can not be delegated like listening to your kids, hugging them, attending to your spouse and relaxing. You and your spouse can have a good career once you accept your role as a home maker. Do all you can to make everyone satisfied. Having a career is rewarding but having a happy home with well fed children and satisfied spouse is bliss. At the end of time, family and not career is what will matter the most. Stay blessed.[/quote]Your write up is nice and the bolded is classic

However, different things trill different people,

emekakelvin: Gud try NL mummy,give it a thought again ma

Is it a series i.e. is there a relationship between the numbers or are they random numbers with a common property except one?

emekakelvin: Hahahaha Oya take dis one.

Tell me the Strange figure among these numbers!
1, 2, 6, 9,8, 10, 27,36, 50

1 is the odd one out: It has only one factor

This is a nice piece.

Women should be encouraged to excel anywhere they find themselves

Nice one @OP

RedBenson: Women have no say in a man's life even if he cheats. Do the best you can to ur husband and he does his best to you too but dont try to dictate to him how he shld do with/to you and in his life. Who married who?

It is well

Just tell your wifey to be all these before you say I do

RedBenson: Truly truly, you are a nagging type. You want to stand 50/50 with ur husband abi? Dont worry, when you find yourself back in your papa's house, that's when you will know who married who and who owns the house. Keep exhibiting 50/50 authority till then!

Why are so many people uncouth in NL?

If you don't agree with a poster, why don't you move on or engage the person?

FYI, Salt 1 is a married man and I don't agree with most of your outlook on marrriage

andromida: So many angry men.

Lol! Funny how most of them have testimonies of how they have been heart broken

Una ndo, it is well

Have a great weekend

Genius100: Na wa for you silly Nigerians. How can your wife be working, making as much as you, yet she's not contributing at all to take care of the household expenses. All you unmarried man better have this discussion with your wives before getting married. Only a selfish, self centered, greedy woman will think it's right for her to keep all her money to herself to the extent that the man has no savings.

Guy, the only option for you at this point may be to threaten a divorce and be ready to go through with it. If she comes and beg and is remorseful then you must renegotiate how things work in the house. As the man, you definitely should pay for more but she must contribute as well. Second, you need to prioritize saving your money as well. When you create a situation where a woman has next to nothing to lose by leaving you, then they threaten divorce. Stop sacrificing your entire being while your wife is just there putting her money in the bank and planning for life without you.

Ultimately you have to man up. If she goes talking to her mom and she starts calling you, do not pick the phone. You have to run your own house. If she cannot respect your authority then call it quits and move on. It's not easy but my intuition tells me you have to show that you are ready to divorce her if she does not do the right thing for things to get better.

Funny enough, most people think this man's actions are 'manly'

emekakelvin: you are on LICE sir Hmmm, my mummy on nairaland,
so the question hard?
At the last statement

NL son, lol!

The question hard o!

Chomzy19: As in Eeh His talents no b here oo , he shld be winning awards if he decides to utilize it

Lol!

ileobatojo: Spoken like a true sociopath.

The guy has got talent like this and we still see crappy Nollywood films

emekakelvin: What happened?

O little Eme, do not cry, never mind never mind your mommy is here

Your kwestion na die

Maybe if the meat was cakes, I would have gotten it

I wish she could educate others on how to dress stylish and look classy with decency

Dinachi, I don not know how you came abour that 'men are weak around women'

Everyone is excepted to exercise self control. That your excuse of 'natural weakness' will not hold water in God's court of law.

As for Ese Walters, she should just stop ranting about else people begin to believe that she made the COZA story up

emekakelvin: Lolz
You just gat me laffing

My intention

denniece1: So what do you want

More riddles

I just wanted to make the forum lively

emekakelvin: Sterling

baby don't cry...

bukatyne: This is not the only one I got but that's besides the point

What I want can be found in the playground of a place named after a Country's currency

A place named after a Country's currency : Nairaland

In the playground of Nairaland : Games Section

So, it's Games Section of Nairaland

Lightening: Very poor face saver. Coogar rose up to your challenge and has succesdfully boxed you up. It pays to be consistent in life dealings. Pls go to bed.

I wanted to ignore but decided to be kind enough to give a friendly advice...

Read Ileobatojo's signature properly,

It will do you good.

eggheaders: Please madam are you bukola small( the Yoruba meaning). That attend lasu staff school??

Why did you ask?

taiocol: land

Land ke?

ileobatojo: It's pretty self explanatory to me.

Lol!

Your signature comes to mind when I read a lot of posts on NL

Seun needs to build translators into NL perhaps they will understand better in their local dialect or parables

dayokanu: WHat is the difference or May I ask which is worse

Someone who MIGHT be an abuser based on potentials and a REAL abuser who already slapped a partner

I would expect the advise t be similar thats the minimum

Dayo,

That post was from a thread where the OP listed signs of an abusive man and several male posters turned the Thread to a gender bashing and submission thread.

Like I told Coogar, I believe that post was self explanatory.

The I am still waiting for a post that I told a female poster to end her marriage because of one slap.

Nashville: Thats the truth. So if the guy marry Akunyili, he would probably be very sad rather than be proud of his wife. Now when you see some women believe it is ok to be lazy and not aspire to be much you can understand. Its just because we have lots of men who prefer the lazy type of girls to women who want to achieve something.

I wouldnt share my story cos it may sound like I am gloating but the truth is that you need to see my wife's CV. Alot the stuff there are directly from me or my contacts. I am not worried if she becomes proud tomorrow - I can always marry another wife

I actually LOLed! at 'marry another wife!

God will keep the both of you to the very end. Don't worry, you both will be smiling toothlessly at each other in many years to come.

It is well

coogar: i didn't have to dig deep.....
this was you indirectly saying ladies who have identified their spouses as potential abusers/cheats to run for their dear lives.

the key word here is potential....in your submission, the woman doesn't even have to suffer the abuse before running for her dear life. signs that the husband may be abusive(potential) is enough reason for her to flee.



the topic of discussion here is not even talking about a potential abuser. this man's wife has already crossed the line. she abused her husband & yet you are soliciting a second chance for her.

can you now see your double standard?

Coogar,

Let me indulge you this once...

You are comparing a woman whose fiancée is a potential abuser to a man whose wife slapped him once

My post you dug out is actually a very wrong example to use as it is very self explanatory

Until you can dig up a post where I told a female poster to divorce or leave her home because her husband slapped her once, don't quote me again or describe my posts as hypocritic or with double standards.

Also ensure to include the posters I quoted and the OP

Thanks

Nashville: Bros, I appreciate you are trying to be a real strong man. But marriage is not competition. You do not compete with your wife. You both try and strive to be the best you can be. If she ends up making more money than you do, it does not make you less of a man. It does not mean you are a failure. It just means both of you have become successful and you should both celebrate. Now if because she is richer than you she begins to disrespect you, then she is a bad woman and not you! Then she got a problem and not you.

I do not believe in suppressing my wife to make me feel like the head. I personally have invested heavily in my wife's career and if tomorrow she hits a billion dollars, I believe we will all be better for it. I do not encourage men to become gold-diggers but please remember you are not in competition with your wife.

Bros, you know dey disappoint

I wonder what Dailynews will do if he was Akunyili's or Okonjo's husband; na suicide be that.

Some views to marriage are scary

lorretta u: Well if you must know,many women these days don't live to land the 'real man'
Not saying a woman who wants to marry shouldn't learn home-making skills. I encourage that, but it shouldn't be the first thing in her achievement list.
We have lives too you know.
For me,I don't know for others,nothing is going to hamper my academic dreams.
Doesn't mean I won't be a good mom or wife.
Advising women the way you're doing is like telling them to not bother about career and achievements just because the real man they hope to meet will be making enough to finance the family.
Who says she can't learn to be a good wifey n mommy alongside her achieving her goals and dreams?
Being a woman isn't easy we know. But with determination I believe a lady can have her home,her marriage, and her career
As long as you the husband doesn't try to rein her in and subdue her.

Dear,

You should know that everyone have different ideas and views to life.

My own is that he doesn't marry a woman keen on going far and starts to stifle her after the wedding

DailyNews: The best way a man can maintain the lovely environment between him and his girlfriend or wife is to strive and pray to be in charge financially. Yes, you are right that some men are egoistic...but my dear, there are few men who maltreat their wives or girlfriends because they earn more than her or because they are richer than her, when compared to the number of women who disrespect and disregard their boyfriends and husbands just because they are richer than him or are earning higher than the man.

Anyway, I really don't pray to marry a woman who is richer than I am...yes...I pray to be in charge of my family financially and if my wife must bring in her money, let it be for fun and for the sake of one family and not because I need any from her...cos I still believe in the old ways of marriage- man should take of the family financially while the woman takes care of the kids and making sure the home is in order food-wise, etc...thats it.

So many Nigerian guys don't really care about how much a woman has or brings....in fact, most men don't even want their woman to be earning too much....so single ladies should better chill and re-direct their efforts towards acquiring good home skills and manner rather than chasing after money and career when actually most real guys don't care, aside few failed guys and the gold-digging guys looking for a woman to take charge of their responsibilities

The bolded ends the discuss

You have been projecting your desires all along

Don't worry, God will give you the desires of your heart

coogar: don't take this ish personal........
madam aluta was spot-on with her analysis. you were soliciting a second chance with this abusive but if it was the husband that dished the slap, your response would have been different. you would have probably advised her to get him arrested.



are you sure about this?

This is the second time and she quoted my post

I do not know another definition of personal

This is the first time the wife slapped the husband; it is not a continuous stuff?

I said the second time, he should report her to her parents for re-training

Can you post a proof that I told a woman to leave her home after the first slap?

lorretta u: Thanks

You are welcome