₦airaland Forum

deols: mmmmmn.

Let me guess this...



we are both Beautiful

Lol! she's very pretty.

I used to make up for her then.

You sound like a pretty lady too

Royal Roy: Bukatyne, I overheard some guys arguing this morning that you are from Cotonou, that you are short, dark in complexion & you drive a red buggati.

Is that true?

Come & set the record straight for us joor!!

RR,

I have set the records straight on page 1 or 2

abdulmujib salv: . You sound like a dreamer

What's with all this 'you are dreaming when a person esp. a lady talks about her happy home?'

If women say all husbands/marriages are bad, you will complain
A woman comes to say she is having it good, she is dreaming

Na wa o!

deols: and what differentiates me from Aisha?

I am kuku fine o. How are you too?

Lol! Let me humor you

She's Hausa
You are Yoruba

She read Biology
You are reading Medicine

We served together
You are yet to

Let me think



I am splendid!

chokl8candie: 1. That feeling of dread that washes over you when the phone rings and you're not mentally prepared to chat.

2. When people pressure you to be more social, whether you like it or not.

4. When people make you feel weird for wanting to do things by yourself.

8.you never speak unless your spoken to and you are never the first to buzz on whatsapp,bbm,facebook or any social network

9. When you hear, "Are you OK?" or "Why are you so quiet?" for the umpteenth time.

11. You hate when soo much attention is being paid to you especially amongs a group

15. When you dont have a problem being indoors reading a good novel or surfing the net for aa week when everyone else thinks its boring

My demons I have to fight

When people hear me speak, they think I am so bold and confident whereas I am quacking in my boots and my heartbeat rate is extra fast.

I can stay with people all day without saying more than 3 sentences...

It's well anyways. It is all to the glory of God

Beautiful story...

May God help us to be very sensitive when we need to be proactive in soul winning

Chillisauce: Tell that to the guy that has virginity as a criterion for choosing his spouse

Is he one of the virgin finders?

Oh well!

She has something of interest to the guy then

I thought he was looking for a woman who would complement his vision in life.

Since he put a price tag on her, she is just following his foot steps na...

Chillisauce: Stingy nicca want a beautiful princess but whines when she demands for a little token
Didn't you hear about the Brazilian chick that sold her virginity for million dollars.
You try see virgin, you no happy, keep looking for virgin that won't demand a dime from you.

You go wait tire. You think say u dey Yankee wey parents or government dey take care of their youth,
You know Nigeria society on pursuit of wealth,
U Berra give her some money before she meet someone who go pop her V status for aso Ebi money.

I don talk my own, after all you ain't a virgin no more so, clearly your perfect dating status won't work here.

I do not think that her virginity status is a license to turn the guy to her ATM.

If she wants to sell it, she's free.

She is not doing the guy a favor been a virgin.

[quote author=~Bluetooth]Now Yerima will smile and try to justify child marriage. When a 16 years old boy impregnate a 14 years old girl, nobody blames the boy but they complain about the age of the girl or even blame the girl. However, if a 40 years old man had done same to a 14 years old girl, the whole world would have condemned the man for taking advantage of the girl.

I don't support child marriage but I'm only trying to canvass for a strict protection for underage girls against sexxual predators either he's a 16 years old boy or a 40 years old man. It doesn't matter the matter the age of who gets her pregnant either an oldman or an adolescent, the effects are always the same on the girl.[/quote]Legally, how can a 16yr old boy be a predator when he's a minor himself? I don't even think a lot of posters blamed the girl; the story is so sad and hilarious. Not 1, not 2, 3! What a cruel twist of fate.

I will pick a 14yr old girl having consensual se.x with her 16yr old boyfriend than 40yr old man/husband anyday. From the first, she can turn a new leaf, repent and be fine. For the second, she will most likely need psychological intervention.


It is well

99cent: [size=16pt]THIS IS RAPEEE[/size]

I sincerely doubt it.

The story indicated the couple wanted to get married. I am sure they will still do so

Congrats

He's very handsome

Let me see which of my nieces are available.... Lol!

May God keep him and give you both the ability to really be parents to him.

deols: Thanks to everyone for sharing their story. You made my days

If not for your profile on NL, I would have concluded you were Aisha.

How are you dearie?

biolabee: Did you read the article
What do you think about it

I don't think the wage inequality stuff ever affected us (but again, I just starting working last year though I have never heard anybody complain about it.)

The thing is that men may truly earn more than women in those places but the main point should be the reason why they earn more....

In my work place, technical team earn more than the commercial team. Now if all the technie team were males and all the commercial team were females, statistics would state that men earn more than women.

The men in the companies might have more benefits due to the nature of their jobs or extra hours they work. A woman who reads Yourba or G & C should not expect to earn the same with a Mech Eng even if they were employed on the same day.

What I would frown at is if they both read the same course, do the same job, put in the same hours and the women still get underpaid because they were women.

I desist any ill treatment because one is a woman/man/black/white/green/tall/short etc.

If a woman misbehaves and expects to get a free pass because she's a woman, she is in OYO state.

I have said that putting women in certain positions because they are women is actually an insult as you are indirectly saying 'women do not have the ability to excel, hence let us dash them a, b, c'

Let everyone get an equal chance to succeed and the best person win. If it is always men winning, goodluck! If it is always women, goodluck!

@OP:

Please answer the following questions:

Does she wash your clothes, cook for you or do any domestic chore for you?
Do you do the same for her?

Answer and then I will know what's up

spookem: no

Case Closed

Lol! at thread.

I believe 'essentials' and 'non-essentials' will depend from person to person or from church to church

@OP: Nice one!

NLers let's take it easy

Even if the topic is misleading, the opening post is very self explanatory

JMAN05: @op

If they honestly want to solve their problem and they need advice from other parties, they should either make research on NL where that topic has been argued upon/discussed or they both should be here, each of them presenting their biblical reasons and then allow participants to give their own reasons in support or against their individual points. ie if they are sincere.

but I dont know whether they sincerely want the truth. if they are in love with the teaching of their pastors (which may possible be an underlying reason preempting a trux), they can never agee cos the issue concerns their individual faith rather than on truth.

If the guy wants to marry her, let him just do so, she will swallow that belief later, ie if the guy's church condemns tithing.

many men work with reason, with little religious colouration, but women hardly let go what their "men of God" tells them no matter the biblical prove. but if your church condemns the habit and you marry them, they may swallow that doctrine and settle for yours.

but if the belief is just the personal belief of the guy, ie if his religion accepts tithing, and the gal's church accepts it too, then tell your friend sorry.

But they can consider Hebrews chapter 7 together.

The bolded is a very wrong advise to give. If the wife stops tithing when she believes it is not wrong, it becomes a sin to her.

It is better intending couples solve their differences before marriage.

Pretending b/4 marriage to show your 'true colour' after marriage is pure wickedness

maclatunji: Oh my God! The world has turned upside down. Your wife is not the only one that thinks she doesn't have to cook for her husband.

Ok, let us agree it is not compulsory but how can a wife derive pleasure from her husband cooking his own food or eating those of other women?

Really?

spookem: all this? you're on a very long thing

Do you read the post at all?

oluamid: The only thing wrong with it is that it's a man doing it. There was a reason man was created first. I love women and I can do all manner of things for my women but I can't switch roles with them. nah. not happening.

Where in the Bible was it written that a woman is to welcome her husband irrespective of who comes home first?

Can you quote a Bible passage that clearly defined gender roles?

There is also a reason God created animals and plants first.

You can do all manner of things for your 'women?' You have multiple women at a time?
\

2good: For every one man collecting child support, you have roughly(just a rough guestimate) 99 women collecting child support, so you point above is meaningless. The legal system we have today in the west is 99% pro-women. A man sleeps with an underage girl and goes to jail. A 20years girl sleeps with an underage boy(13 yrs) and have the right to come out publicly to claim that the boy(now 14) is the father of her child so as to get some financial supoport from the boys family and she is not thrown in jail. That is how bad the western legal system have dehumanized being a male.

I believe everyone has to go back to the drawing board.

The Nigerian society has also dehumanized being a female.

oluamid: And the man will be like "Honey welcome," *takes hand-bag* "Hope the office wasn't too stressful today? What would you like to have for dinner?"


Ko jor FC.

And what is wrong in that?

Women who do such for their husbands, are they fools?

What is actually wrong in welcoming someone who comes to meet you at home?

What if the hubby closes earlier than the wife, will the wife still welcome him?

damiso: I soo understand what you mean by people will always talk whatever you do so one really live one's life based on what we think is right and what works for a couple. On this same family section people have called SAHM (stay at home mums) choice names like liability, lazy, alabodo etc etc.Even when sometimes its a couple that decided for the woman to stay home for a while to take care of the kids? What is anybody business esp if they are not asking anyone to pay their bills and are happy with the arrangement? So why should it suddenly now be what works for a couple when its the man?

If I and my husband agree to something (currently in that phase where even my mother is puzzled) its our home..Whether we like it or not some people are influenced by outside influences in their marriages.Especially in Nigeria.

Well,

It is 'people's' right to comment and try to influence you...
It's your right to resist their influence and live your life as you want it.

The truth is that about 80% of the people trying to influence you probably have it worse in their homes. Some people like to live their dream lives through other people.

Klinee: 4get we are all humans. A man without money is nothing! Quote me anywhere!

How would you feel if your hubby sees you as a 'woman/wife' because of se.x or your cooking

Klinee: U dey lie!! What is the meaning of headship when he did not have the ability to control his family anymore as a man of the house? A bread-winner of a family is the head of family get it now. That people say that the man is head of family because men are naturally,normally and mostly the bread-winner. But when he fail to his position then the woman should take over! I support it!!!

I don't live by what people say.

A man is the head because the Bible says so. That is another topic.

Tell me, if a 'manly' man has an accident and left him crippled, does he cease to be the head of his home?

Klinee: I think no woman will ever accept that. For a man to be house-husband that is abnormal. Every woman will like their husband to earn more than them so that they can respect u as man of the house. If u earn lower than them mark it they will never respect u. Not to think of a full bloody-man staying at home as house-husband. Ah! They will turn u to rag-servant!

You do not know all women
Respect for your hubby should not be tied to his earning power
Money doesn't make/dismake a man the head. He is always the head of his family

priscaoge: Hell No!!! Some Men hate housewives so I bet Ladies will like it when their hubby choose to βε a househusband. Besides,the man should get ready to take shits from his wife because not all ladies will choose to βε τђe bread winner of the house and βε happy about it. Men should head τђe family not τђe other way round.

A man is the head of his family if he makes money or not.

A woman who is the bread winner does not become the head of the home

devour129: N0 ! I tot its a mans world ? What's the man doing inside the house when he should be out exploring the world in terms of hustling ? Please men know your place and women know your place.

What is a man's place and a woman's place?

debrief08: Bless Your Hands for this wonderful piece you typed.
I gave an example how people talked at different stages of my life.
They went from calling me silly, to wondering if I was mad, to let's watch and see her fall flat and say "we told you so" to open admiration and wishing they had the guts I now have.

Point is do what works for you and what is right for you and your family.

What will give you peace, progress and Joy.
Basing your decisions on what people will say is Not LIVING, its existing, do these people really care? NO, they just need to talk about someone so their own lives won't be as boring.

Bless you too

damiso: Different strokes for different folks ojere but in the TYPICAL naija setting,even if the woman is not fussed its people that will keep talking.Ehn see Tunde can you imagine his wife wakes up at 5 goes out to hustle and he just sits at home doing nothing watching nollywood.Except he can start showing everyone his bank statement to say i work from home i would not recommend it to my brother living IN Naija.I dont think we have reached that level yet.I would not mind if i earn more and his wages are not worth the childcare costs+lost man hrs commuting etc BUT i would think twice in Naija.I know its 2 people in a marraige but whether we like it or not enviroment sometimes plays a part.

I have come to realize that at the end of the day, it is the people in it who really matters.

Let's assume Tunde is a 'househusband' and Shade is ok with it, what is the concern of the neighbors? Which of them will really walk up to shade or Tunde? What is the business of the family If neither Shade or Tunde make it theirs?

If Tunde works all day, 'people' will talk
If Tunde works online @ home, 'people' will talk
If Tunde is a full 'husband', 'people' will talk
If Tunde earns well, 'people' will talk
If Tunde doesn't earn well, 'people' will talk

So why should they concern themselves about what 'people' say?

jidegirl12: So my curiosity about the whole Feminism thing is this, from this story being a feminist means to be independent and liberated in contrast to the impression/ definition I get from NL ( ex. a man must help etc).

Now , Don't tell me to read about it because I have headache ... My question is who is a Feminist??

As you can see I'm not directed at anybody because this story is about a male feminist sef so pls don't take anything personal here. just need POVs thank you.

Stating the impressions you get in NL would help to under why the difference

Remember that we all see things in different POV: a glass half full to you might be half empty to me