₦airaland Forum

k2039: I have said it, all this theories that women age faster is a function of money. When a woman is wealthy she will always remain young.

Imagine a woman who has everything at her beck and call and one who has to do it all herself

It will be 7UP! ...... the difference is clear

armyofone: Thanks Mac.





That's a good question for me, something to think about.
Thanks a ton!

You are welcome

golpen: It is you who needs to read and re-read if it takes you to do so. You don't mean you still need an explanation after how comprehensive he has replied you. Ok here is the explanation, hope you get it right this time.

You mention people with different cultures maintaining their core values as christians despite being their respective igbo, hausa or yoruba and so on, but let me put it that christianity has no ruling or guidelines about some situations that bring men together irrespective of the tribe and race, that is why it is grossly affected by civilisation and the indecencies that come with it.

Try answering the question on his post again, then you shall understand better. And if christianity truly has no answer to all that, then how is it a baseful way of life?

Excuse me

biolabee: weird as in unconventional in this part of the world where frankly we expect to do all for the kids and for them to take care of us in old age

But i like it - hence the word tight

I make my rules and live by them...

Thanks for the compliment.

I usually say that most people do not know what marriage is about but they are like

It's the hubby or wifey that should be saying I live my life for my wifey/hubby (if both heads are screwed right)

Like I will tell my baby

It's Him&I (notice the lack of space) and ...........................................the kids!

No mind me, na so I like yori yori

Thanks for repeating the question

BetaThings: Did you read the post I responded to?
So you actually agree with him that

(a) polygamy is not indigenous to us and is borrowed from the Arabs?
(b) Wearing a cap is alien to Africa or that most muslim men wear Arab head dress?

I was not agreeing with anybody...

I was addressing the Christian part. As for polygamy, I don't the Arabs started it. I also believe that Africans were polygamous b/4 Islam. I could be wrong though

The point I was bringing out was that I could still live my life as a typical Yoruba person and worship God to the fullest. Dress like one, sing and pray like one, greet like one etc.

BetaThings: You can pick and choose but you cannot shy away from the fact that your brethren introduced the idea that Muslims follow strange culture
[b]IF [/b]strong affinity to indigenous culture is what makes your own belief authentic, why do you speak in tongues and why is the intonation/words far removed from our local languages?

Like I said, I was addressing the Christianity part. We all different ways from viewing things and only very few things can be said to specific to one culture

I do not believe that the authenticity of Christianity is based on affinity to indigenous culture else as culture changes, the authenticity will be questionable. I only explained Christianity as a way of life.

As for 'Speaking in tongues', it is a gift of the Holy Spirit. In the Bible, when the Apostles first spoke in tongues, people from far countries who listened to their preaching could hear their languages spoken. Just as Greek or Latin or Hebrew is 'tongues' to us, Yoruba is tongues to the Spanish man. It is the ability to speak a language you did not learn and have probably not heard by the help of the Holy Spirit for a period of time esp prayers.

If I start praying and I speak in Hausa fluently, I am speaking in tongues. There was a testimony of a Yoruba person who wanted to commit suicide and during a sermon in a foreign country, a prophet spoke in tongues (Yoruba) to comfort him.

I hope I have answered you questions

BetaThings: I am beginning to see similarities in your attitude and that of some your brethren


Not addressed to me specifically. So I am free to pass on it
I answered the question you put to me. You did not answer mine and I used the word fairness in pointing that out
Civility is not trepidation

Similarities between whom?

What question(s) did you ask me?

Please ask again, I might have missed it.

biolabee: Kool insight buka.. Weird but tight

What's weird about it?

Ochiban: Dudes!!! as a new mom, i understand that you feel like a fish out of water. However, I cant help but notice that this narrative keeps on saying daddy daddy daddy. I'm not really trying to chide you for having feelings and needs that are not met... but please dont take it out on the people that love and need you most..your new baby and very very tired wife.

Tell me... how tired would you be if there was an organism sucking on your nutrients (about 1000 calories a day) every 3 hours? and i mean every 3 hours. I have a very independent baby so i feed him at 5am, 7 am, 10 am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10pm and 3 am. he is not fussy (i'm serious, several women have commented on how lucky i am). How angry would you be if this organism sucks so hard sometimes that you bleed? How frustrated would you be if you found out that this organism is a helpless child that needs you to exist. so you must offer your sore and bleeding nipples to him again in 3 hours?

How happy would you be if after this fantastic feeding schedule, your spouse asked to suck on this painful nipple? Lets assume that you stay at home all day so it seems you have a lot of free time? well, if you spend 4 hours feeding your child, another at least 4 hours changing it, checking to make sure its breathing (yes, babies sometimes die in their sleep), begging it to go to sleep so that you can sleep, well that a full time job. except that your full time job never ends. you see, when you get home, at least you can rest until the next morning. but as mom, the best I get is 4 hours uninterrupted (and as i mentioned, I do NOT have a fussy baby). How excited would you be about sex after having only 3- two hour sleep sessions every day for a month? And this is if you have family helping you (which i do). without that, cut sleep down by half.

I know its hard for dads because they feel like everyone has forgotten about them. But it is much harder for your spouse that you would ever know. How many times have you caught her crying in frustration? how many times has she left the house because she is tethered to a young one?

please be a little more sympathetic to your wife's ordeal..because thats what it really is.. an ordeal. help her more. be a little more patient. tell her she is beautiful. tell her you love her. play with your child. change his diapers and dance with him when he is crying, rather than immediately handing him over to your wife. this tells your wife that he is yours not only when he is behaving well and smiling, but also when he is irritable and uncomfortable.

May God give you the courage and the strength to give up more of yourself in service to your family. god blesd you

Beautiful

I guess it's mostly women who are in horrible marriages that mean that literarily.

The most important person is God, then your spouse and children second.

It might seem that way when they are dependent but as they become more independent, abeg the parents should let them fly.

Any parent living for me is on his/ her own.

Any child that thinks I will live for him/her is equally in OYO.

Will I love them? Care for them? Train, inspire and nurture them? Yes,

Live for them? In their dreams...

I am more for living for your spouse but even then, I have my God and myself to live for

Hi Hourglass,

This is thread is really informative and educative.

Weldone

I want to know if eating too much roasted corn and coconut is fattening
If Marvel's skimmed milk and bran flakes or fruit and fiber really helps with weight watching

Thanks a lot

golpen: Is that the answer to the questions he asked you? I don't know what english you expect, but I don't think I read any spanish in his words. You accuse him of speaking with courage when you couldn't nullify his claims. You better keep up shut if you don't have any viable response and if I must agree with you that christianity is a way of life, then I'll say it is a baseless way of life!.

golpen,

If you cannot contribute meaningfully to a discourse, you steer clear of it.

I did not see the correlation of his post to mine and I am expecting him to explain. If you care to explain, I will appreciate it.

@bolded,

I hope you noted the warning in red. I am sure you have not realized that the Islam has been changed to any religion

maclatunji: I always laugh when you make such simplistic and false assertions. CCC Church members walk barefoot to church, 7th day Adventists see Saturdays as their holy day of worship. What is the Christian way of slaughtering animals? Can a Christian man have sex with his menstruating wife without blame? Should a Christian woman breastfeed her baby or not and for how long? Can a Christian worship in a mosque?

Trust me, you don't have answers that are codified to such questions in Christianianity, that is why Chris Oyakhilome can tell you that there is nothing wrong with masturbation.

Christianity is far from being a "way of life"madam, wake up and smell the coffee.

Dude,

I imagine a Muslim arguing with me if Christianity is a way of life or not with courage.

Talk of saying nonsense with boldness...

When you quote me esp. in religious matters, speak English.

owolabifunke14: The only thing I hate about the world is that we women always get it done our ways and it hampers justice atimes.but men una too dey molest girls too

@OP:

The wife should serve the remaining prison term

jennykadry: @hauwa

Wetin you dey find go for Nigeria jobs?

@topic

The banking system in Nigeria-I don't get it. Why do these people have to travel outside their cities to meet targets? Why do people knock off from work late everyday?i have no idea how the banking system works but over here, its a 9am-4pm job except Friday(I think) which is 9-3. Women no longer have time for the family. That being said, my high school married best friend chops and cleans mouth in the zenith bank branch she works at

I thought I was the only one

BetaThings: You speak English, don't you? The collar used by your priests is an African traditional dress?
The skullcap your priests wear, the tongues you speak in are African?
The monogamy you practise is actually what is alien to African culture
If I accuse you of idol worship you will disagree. So why are you running away from the African tradition of idol worship?

I can go and on. But looks like you believe that being a christian you are automatically wise while being muslims, we are automatically impressionable and liable to being fooled. One day, you will realise that life is not that simple

Christianity is a way of life and we still lead our lives as Nigerians.

Typical Yoruba Christian, Igbo Christian, Hausa Christian, English Christian, American Christian, Indian Christian etc. would be different from each other but their core values would still be the same.

As for the bolded, How can speaking in tongues or monogamy be African or un-African? Do you know another tribe that speak in tongues?

BetaThings: It will not be fair for me to explain until you answer my own questions, I was sportsmanly enough to answer your question
You ignored mine and are piling on new ones

In Okija's words...

Huh?

What kwestion did you hask?

My opening post on this thread was a question

Dis Guy: yuck!!

Double yuck!

armyofone: Now i'm so scared to apply for Nigerian jobs.
This is really serious.

Dear,

It depends on the sector, how (im)moral your boss is and your values as an employee

The picture is not so bleak. A lot of women still get jobs everyday on merit and keep their integrity all through their active years in service.

There is pressure everywhere and you have to take a stand...

In Secondary Schools and Universities, teachers/lecturers pressure the students
During Service, Platoon officers, commandants, LI and Ogas pressure the ladies
In the labour market, Ogas and 'helpers' pressure the ladies
In private business, most men want 'favours' before contract can be awarded etc.

What part would you skip due to fear?


Take a stand!

Nashville: Very interesting. The reality is that this happens alot and it is just a reflection of our society. Someone gave an example of a lady that slept her way to the top at Zenith. I know about this lady and it was certainly not brilliance. I know of another lady in FCMB that moved from Deputy Manager to Assitant General Manager in three years. This lady only flies first class that her salary and husband's salary cannot afford. She was sleeping with the ED and another top government official and she eventually threw her husband out of the house. Hope no FCMB people on this thread because this is real life.

The reality is that Nigeria is still a male dominated society, most of the entrepreneurs, top government official, executive are men and if they want to empower a woman, some of them will demand something in return. Now lots of women because they want to advance in career and live a certain lifestyle will give something back and nobody needs to know. A female friend of mine had to leave a bank because she could not take it anymore. At 34 she was already an AGM making 20 million naira. During a board presentation one director was trying to rub her thighs. During a board meeting o. One minister (wouldnt mention names) owns an Oil and Gas servicing company. In that company she rents houses for her female marketers on the Island. And you need to see these girls. Hot looking girls. All these girls do is go to Oil companies and prostitute themselves for contracts.

Truth is that in Nigeria we believe money can get us anything so the men use money as a bargaining tool while some women just go with the flow. Most female corpers in Oil companies are there for the taking. The ogas know the girls want to work there and so they just take their turns.

I dont like generalising because I know lots of intelligent and decent women out there who work hard for their money and I think it is more prevalent in certain industries. These things happen more in banks and government institutions. This whole target setting in banks should be stopped. Some banks are particularly guilty and even give condoms to their female staff.

If I had my way, banks would be scraped and another system put in place

babyosisi: My answers in red

Nice!

I no get time to break them down

mrwils: It is life-changing and can be destructive if it is embarked on with the wrong person. You have to be absolutely sure that the woman in your life is someone you’ll be happy spending time with every day of your life, forever. Here are 10 signs that the woman in your life will make a good wife.

1. She’s Nurturing
A woman who will make a good wife has to be caring and nurturing. She’s going to be majorly responsible for the well-being of you and your children. She should be kind and compassionate, willing to take care of others without grumbling.

2. She’s Dependable
A great wife should be someone you can trust and rely on. She should be someone who will support her man no matter what, someone you know you can count on, come rain, come shine.

3. She’s Respectful
Disrespect is one of the major causes of marital dysfunction. The woman you decide to marry should respect you no matter what. She should respect your family and your friends, even if she doesn’t like them. She should be a respectful person all round.

4. She’s Humble
A proud woman will encourage grudges and nothing destroys relationships faster than malice. The ideal wife should be able to apologize even when she isn’t in the wrong.

5. She’s emotionally stable
The woman you decide to marry should be stable emotionally and otherwise. An emotionally unstable woman can’t handle the pressures of marriage. She should be mature and know how to handle situations without constantly losing her cool. You don’t want to marry a woman who will break down in tears over every little challenge.

6. She loves children
The ideal wife should love children. She should like to have them around her and willing to play with them always. This is a sign that she’ll be capable of taking care of the family you build together.

7. She can cook
She doesn’t have to be a chef but a great wife should be able to feed her family.

8. You have a lot in common
It can be the same kind of music or the same hobbies or even just a love of books. If there are things you both like to do, that’s a good sign you are entering a marriage of happiness and longevity.

9. You have great communication
There is nothing more important in a relationship than communication, and if you are considering making it official by marrying her, you have to feel comfortable talking with her about any and everything. The more you communicate with your woman, the less likely the two of you will get into arguments because you both will be able to talk about your problems instead of holding them in.

10. You can laugh together
Mutual laughter is an essential component of a strong and healthy marriage. Romance is much better if you can see humour in the little things and can have a laugh together.

Above all, you must remember that there’s no such thing as a perfect person so there can’t be a perfect wife. Love is about accepting that person you’ve chosen even with all their flaws and deciding to love them no matter what.

What other qualities do you consider necessary for an ideal wife? Share your opinions

Cool

biolabee: cool...<<<thumbs up>>>>>>

You are welcome.

Have a great day

biolabee: ^^^^^^^^^^Cool... we are not perfect but the little being done should be acknowledged....

Afterall na naija men people dey marry

There is room for improvement

Have fun...

Thank goodness you know it is little

There is so much room for improvement.

We believe in you that you will get there

coogar: of course, funke akindele was abducted and forced at gunpoint to marry a serial polygamist. she also fasted and prayed that the man's behaviour would stop once she gets married to him.

Dear, note the bolded

bukatyne: Are you all blaming the women for the failed marriages?

I thought Funke Akindele's husband was a serial cheat and some others?

I am not saying the women are saints though

bobonicez: The continued crave of some entertainers, especially in the Nigerian movie industry to part ways after months or years of marriage is becoming an issue not only to their families but to many of their ardent fans. The recent trend of broken marriages of Nigerian actresses has becoming a natural phenomenon and a recurring decimal which if not checked could mislead many young ladies.

Here are celebs whose marriages have not turned out to be as rosy as expected:

In the beginning, they hoped to achieve it big in the entertainment industry promising God and their families that things would go well when their dreams and aspirations come true.

But on the contrary, the industry changed them unlike their counterparts like Omotola Jalade who has been married for more than a decade now and is waxing stronger and stronger in her marriage.

But the issue now is... what are the factors responsible for these break-ups? Why are the ladies the ones involved in this development?

While some say it is a way of being free from any man’s command as a husband, others believe that it’s due to lust for numerous men and not wanting be under the control of a man who would never want them to star in any obscene role or what not that is prompting their wanting to be free.

For Monalisa Chinda, it was alleged that the reason for her marriage breakup with her ex-hubby, Dejo Richards, was money.

According to reports, the actress, who had particularly been the bread winner of the household, could not handle the heat of her wealth, part of which comes as Globacom ambassador and decided to let loose what she has been holding together over the years. Her marriage produced one beautiful daughter.

Also Clarion Chukwura is one actress who has been married twice but is now single. She has laid the blame for her failed marriages as the price she has to pay as an artiste.

While Eucharia Anunobi-Ekwu’s case was that of infidelity, she stated that she wanted her marriage with Charles Ekwu to last. But the ex-hubby had other plans as he depended on the actress for his own welfare and that of the family until he was caught red handed making love to their 13-year-old house girl.

As for Jennifer Eliogu and husband, the marriage crashed months after she delivered her second son where she lost her husband to a Swiss woman and their apartment at Lekki.

But for Fred Amata and Agatha, their case has always served as a case study of Nollywood couple whose marriage hit the rocks as a result of infidelity.

Disappointedly, Ngozi Ezeonu was reported to have packed out of her matrimonial home many years ago on account of her husband’s alleged infidelity as he dumped her for another woman whom he got pregnant.

Then came Shan George who was believed to have first gotten married as a teenager but left the marriage after giving birth to two boys and later walked down the aisle with a US-based guy, Tony Nwaosisi, but found out that the man was married to another woman who had given him children at the time of his marriage to Shan, so she decided to quit the marriage for good.

Chika Ike
The Nollywood actress finally achieved her divorce from her estranged husband but she may run the risk of being blacklisted by fans as loads of criticisms keep rocking her boat since she publicly announced that she’s officially divorced.

While some said scenes from many of her movies might be responsible for her wanting to be single, others said it’s a move to get sympathy from fans. The actress took to social network, Facebook, on July 29, 2013, to announce to her teeming fans that the court had finally granted her a divorce.

“Hi fans. Thank you all for your love and support over the years. It’s been an emotional journey and I want to announce to you guys that the court has granted me a divorce. I’m now officially divorced. Thanks,” she posted.

But in swift disgust, her fans seem not to be okay with the news as lashes of words started pouring in. While just few congratulated her and urged her to move on with her life, many didn’t find the news funny, criticising her of going public with her divorce as if it was a good development.

According to Tracy, he frowned at her not being able to show a difference from other celebrities who couldn’t hold their marriages. He urged her to take her time to think instead of happily declaring that she has divorced.

Prince Charming said: “What an announcement! Just more like a thanksgiving. Well, who knows, maybe it’s better this way for her.”

Another fan by the name Flavia called Chika a “stupid woman” for being happy that she’s again a single woman when many ladies are out in search of men to call their own.

According to another fan, he said the actress is lucky her ex-husband, Tony, has been quiet about it unlike Funke Kindele’s ex-husband who gave the actress a public disgrace. He advised her to move on with her life instead of washing her dirty linen in the public.

“Chika we have heard you o! You are going around announcing your divorce as if it is a good thing. You are lucky that Tony is a good man and he is highly literate that he hid your secret. You know what you did now. Thank God you do not have an agbero husband like Funke Akindele’s husband who disgraced her in public. Take a chill pill and stop bringing his name into the news. The guy has moved on, so move on with your life. Very soon you’ll say you need your privacy. Learn to keep some things within the family,” He said.

Funke Akindele:
For this sultry actress who has been in the movie industry since her teenage years, the news of her divorce was disheartening not only to family members but to her fans. In a statement she released confirming the divorce according to nigerianfilms.com, it read: “On behalf of our client, star actress, Funke Akindele, we want to formally inform you that after due consultation and consideration, she’s now separated from Mr Kehinde Oloyede as his wife. She hereby urges her fans and all concerned to pray and wish her the best as she moves on in her career. Kindly note that this is the first and only official statement from Funke Akindele on this matter and she will be glad if her wish be respected. Thank you.”

So will this be the end for the actress or would she continue searching for the right man?

Ini Edo:
The media hype and jamboree of Ini Edo’s marriage was awesome when she got married to her Europe-based husband. In an interview with the actress, she stated the distance between them was not a problem as they knew how to sort themselves. But little did they know that things were not right as the news broke of their divorce.
According to an online source, Ini Edo was not happy and the reason was that it was alleged that pressure was being mounted on her handsome husband, Philip Ehigwina, by his family members to dump the charming actress.

According to what tale bearers are saying, Ini Edo’s in-laws are not happy that the glamorous actress hasn’t given them a child after about four years of marriage.

“These Edo people are just too funny. They have already told Philip to send away Ini Edo since she can’t give them a child,” said a source.

Another said: “But come to think of it, why would Ini Edo’s in-laws interfere in her marriage?”

This was quickly answered by the first busy-body. “That’s Edo culture for you. Their sons don’t have much say in their marriages.”
By Leadership's Anthony Ada Abraham
source[url]Olokunbolablessing..com/2013/08/female-celebrities-now-celebrate.html[/url]

Are you all blaming the women for the failed marriages?

I thought Funke Akindele's husband was a serial cheat and some others?

I am not saying the women are saints though

This thread get as im be

I guess all those married women sleep with themselves or the directors they sleep with are all single and free to mingle

Babe is so right!

A lot of lecturers harass their students. If the lecturers themselves are not immoral, why offer a girl marks for sex? I know a lecturer that doesn't even allow females into his office alone or lean on his table if they were in group. A female cannot be his class governor. He did all these to ensure he kept himself intact.

A lot of people have thrown morals into the dogs. A director will refuse to promote a deserving employee and promote another mgbeke he's sleeping with. A woman would seduce her boss instead of developing herself. It's a vicious circle.

For those worrying about marriage, some of those women's husbands are sleeping with another junior employee in the office to promote them.

It's well.

AjanleKoko: You certainly got that right.
In my own case, I can't even remember the name of the help. I keep calling her the name of one or two previous maids
depending on whichever comes into my head at the time. I prolly have walked or driven past her on the road without even realizing she was the one sef

It is well

@OP:

No 8 is really funny.

I guess you think the 'manhood' of a man can be measured by the amounts or size of rats he can kill.

I now see why we have plastic men around. It takes real courage to admit your fears to your loved ones without feeling your worth lessen.

AjanleKoko: Of course you don't need help if you don't have kids. Wait till you have children.
In most cases, both the husband and wife work corporate jobs, which make huge demands on their time. Add that to the terrible commute that most of us have to deal with. So, no matter the amount of weight pulled by both, there's still usually a need for some kind of help.

This is my personal experience. And there's nothing wrong in utilizing hired help. It's a service that you pay for, kind of like engaging a washman or utilizing a dry-cleaner, as opposed to doing your laundry yourself.

Don't get me wrong, I am not against helps (live in or otherwise)

However, helps are needed sometimes because one or more people decide not to pull their weight.

I tell you, the helps of corporate workers have it easy and can do their own thing till oga and madam comes home later in the day. Who would come back by 7:00pm or 8:00pm (on the average) and have time to pour hot water on the maid or eye her for sex? It is those that see her/him all the time that know he/she can't do a, b or c.

I know coping with babies can be hectic that's why I said we will reconsider depending on the situation.

carmelion: MONDAY,19th AUGUST,2013.

Learn to live within your means.Be contented with what you have,and work hard.Trying to 'meet up' will only send you extra miles(sometimes ungodly ways) insearch of money.

Also desist finding yourself in debt!.Goodmorning beautiful ladies.

Hi dearie

Longest Longest time

Have a splendid day @ work.

If the husband pulls his weight at the home front, there is really no need for an help maybe a daycare or crèche would suffice during the day.

When we were much younger, we had a help and different relatives staying with us per time but after primary school, there was none.

My fiancée and I have decided that we do not need a help at least when we just get married. However, if after the babies we cannot manager after adjusting and readjusting, we can consider a maid.

With organization and effective management, the couple should be able to joggle the chores between them.

Exceptions can be made for larger houses.

Princess zoe: Nashvile God bless you beyond measure. I believe we are not only discussing about female children here. Our male children equally need special attention if not more. We are to educate our children morally especially the male ones. Our male children should be tutored on how to control their sexual urges. They should be taught on the necessity of saying no to sex until after wedding. They should be taught of the spiritual and physcial consequences of sexual immorality. They should be taught on the consquences of smoking, joining cultist, roaming around with bad peers, drinking in excess and so on. If sixty percent of parents can influence their male children on moral grounds, many female children will be saved from rape, teenage pregnancy will be reduced, prostitution as a result of lack of money to take care of ones children due to teenage pregnancy will minimize, divorce being caused by infidelity or battery from the male side will reduce, bosses asking their female employees to pull off panties before giving them appointment letter or promotion will minimize and more male graduates who are qualifies for various job positions will be employed, killing for money making will be minimized, robbery and kidnapping will be minimized, above all immorality will reduce. Our male children should be taught with carefulness with ALMOST the same way female children are taught. Tell them to protect their bodies from women that are not their wives. Also not to sleep with any woman that is not the wife. Our male children are stronger sex i.e emotionally, so we are to teach them to be protectors and not destroyers(sexual predators). The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Teach your male children that as well as the female children. Remember, the children learn more from what we do, they listen to what we say about daddy or about mummy. If they ever hear from mummy or close relation that dad cheated on mum, the dad has started losing. Same goes to mummy. That is why training children is the most challanging issue in the marriage. Let us be guided accordingly.

God bless you so much.

We focus too much on the girl child. Even in churches, we have severally women groups and meetings aimed at training them to be better wives without training the husbands.

Focusing too much o the girl child will make her over qualified for the men of the future. it might even have no effect as she still sees her untrained brothers as normal.