₦airaland Forum

BetaThings: I said that ALL non-muslims are Christians? Really? Please quote it!!


So you have come to terms with the Hijab?
Anyway your post here was coded because to all it was clear what was said





Before I am required to quote anything may I have a quote where I said "I am sure that all spagetti wearers are Christians?"

So what brought spaghetti into your posts or are you trying to say that all non-hijabites wear spaghetti?

Which post was coded?

I bolded the part I needed clarification and I am yet to get one.

Do you care to explain?

BetaThings: What facts have I misrepresented? Please point THEM out



Yes, I do "gerrit". But you are Christian. Are you not?
So I don't get the idea of you being bothered that Muslims are using the hijab


If you are really sure of that what would be the point of quoting the verse to you
And my point is simply this - a Christian can wear anything, or if you like, "unwear" anything. It does not bother or concern us in the least. So we don't really understand why the hijab is a topic for non-muslims (Christians inclusive), esp the myths

The misinterpretation that all non-muslims are christians. esp when it comes to misdeeds.

Me bothered that muslims use hijab? Can you quote one of my posts on this thread to that effect?

I said you quote the verse the christian women should wear spagetti since you are so sure all spagetti wearers are christians?

BetaThings: While Muslims don't complain about Christians getting married in spagetti,
Christians get excited about the hijab
It is simply a mystery

Misinterpreting facts will do you no good.

Not every non-muslim is a cristian, gerrit?

I am sure spagetti is the formal christian mode of dressing, not so? Please quote the verse that states so...

Ayoobscom: On every single occasions, I come across a topic as regards Hijab wearing culture,the sick reactions/comments coming from fellow xtians stings me a DEEP feeling of How Much the Christians hate Marry..the mother if the blessed Jesus.

If marry was named the pure,isn't her culture suppose to be their core habits?

#anyone who read that post by yuzedo listen now#....Yuzedo un-alterdly, is an unserious serial liar,whose synthetic/ rotten heart objectively conjoured such unreal but illusory event, to validate a ridiculous claim, that Muslim women are forced to wear Hijab...as a matter of fact he does not owe a car of his own neither do any of his lineage..#bigliaryuzedo..he queue to join staff bus everyday fyi.

#however,Hijab is not worn for Muslim men,Muslim women wore Hijab to please their creator..Allah.

Jumah mubarak sisters
I join in celebrating you
I join in celebrating Hijab
I join in celebrating Mother of the blessed Jesus

I wonder who snapped the pictures of "Mary" you see...

While you are at it, notice that most pictures of 'Jesus' also has an 'hijab' and He wears gowns and has long hair. I am 100% sure you wear hijab, gowns and have a very long hair... not so?

Mintayo: Two things:
1. If she denies Jesus.
2. If i or any other guy have a carnal knowledge of her before we get married.

Are you serious at bolded?

You and a girl slee.p together and you decide not to marry her because of that?

passionate88: Ultra feminist

Lol!

What degree makes it ultra?

golpen: From dawahnigeria fb page...like them

Sometimes,
I want to open my Hijab,
and show the world
that I too,
Am beautiful in the people's definition.
But,
Deep down here,
in my little heart,
I know that beauty is by definition, a mystery.
And it is forever more rewarding,
to be beautiful in God's eyes.

Sometimes,
I want to wear ruffled dresses & tight jeans
show off what I really look like,
under those baggy shirts & loosely fitted pants
make a statement that I too have a figure and worth looking at.
But,
I know better,
to avoid entering the world of men's imagination,
for I love my future hubby
and I am ashamed,
what should be his, has already be unveiled by others.

Sometimes,
I want to show the world,
the other side of me,
the bubblier, bolder and crazier me,
put myself on display
for everyone to see, to be desired and admired upon.
But,
I know that eyes are not just eyes
seeing is not just seeing,
Image & Respect are gained,
Shame & Humility deserve a better place...

Copied from Abdusalam Hiqmat Kehinde
August 14, 2013

Can someone please explain the bolded?

Nashville: It might just be better to stick to the topic and not derail. This is an individual case and does not constitute majority of Nigerian men. And by the way who do these men cheat with? Their fellow men or Nigerian women? As I said, let's stick to helping the poster.

Oga Nashville, Defender of the brethren!

Reread my post. Most posters said that and not me.

I am only gathering the general consensus of the thread.

Sorry, I do not care who they cheat with. As a married man/woman, your only biz is your spouse and not what others are doing. Do you think I will care most married men cheat if my friend's guy comes to tell me that she slept with a married man? What is even my concern with who she slept with?

The koko here is the erring hubby/wife and not some random babe or dude.

As for the % of Nigerian married men who cheat, check NL's guys to know the percentage.

Now, you are the one derailing the tread

The same Nigerian men that posters are saying cheat a lot in 'How does a person cope with a cheating hubby' thread?

It seems Nigerian men change per thread.

Besides, the Op seemed to ask based on cultural difference..,

@OP,

There is nothing normal or abnormal afteral, there must be a form of communication before ""Nigerian husbands" sleep with their SILs, neighbors, wives bestfriends, bestfriends' wives, girlfriends etc.

You do not need your hubby to tell you what to do in some instances.

If you are NOT comfortable with the tone of the convo, please politely tell him so or just ignore him.

LOL! @ thread

Tomorrow if someone says most Nigerian husband cheat, posters will say the generalizations are too much...

@OP:

How to cope with a cheating hubby?....

It seems you have struck divorce from the options...

I really do not know but whatever you do, do not cling to your kids, let them live their lives so they can look forward to rebuilding their lives in marriage without you breathing down their backs and homes.

orgasticdance: babe,
leave matter, a top coy gave me a job two years before i was even ready to work. it wasn't god, but excellence and hard work that got me the job! i know i am in the minority so thrs nothing to celebrate or be grateful abt becos a coy picked me and two others over 1000 people. y wont u ask god to make tins work so people can run their businesses witout paying for fuel and diesel at neck breaking rates? ur just being selfish tinking abt u and ur family. dis economy is in the pits, its not a god tin, yes one or two people will be lucky but the vast majority will be left chasing shadows. its not rocket science, an economy wit zero industrial base/growth in ten+ years can't produce jobs; even if u and all ur relatives get jobs tomorow, it doesnt mean tins are improving, keep ur testimonies to urselves abeg

You are very funny if you think you are the 'best' that's why you got the job.

Why can't everyone be 'lucky' at the same time?

I have not disputed the role of hardwork in my post, instead acknowledged that there is a God that works miracles.

I was the best in the first test I did but my dressing did not match the job. During the oral interview, I heard I did not do well as they wanted a sales person and I had never sold b/4.

In summary, I was not shortlisted but the CEO asked for the results and asked why I was not and they told the CEO I was not fit for the job who insisted another position will be found for me so many other incidences...

This is a company I never knew existed. It was actually my fiancée who applied for me. I practically knew nobody and if someone 'Knew' me which I know is not true, I just did a change of name.

My point: God works miracles and I want those who believe in Him to hold on to Him while they prepare themselves.

dayokanu: Exactly.

If some women talk they would say Since I sleep with you, bare your kids, cook your meals I deserve to get paid.

Any woman that thinks like that should become a cleaner, maid or surrogate mother for pay.

It would also help if men don't think that the only value they add is money.

We both need to step up our game.

orgasticdance: this is the sort of advice that irks me. its not about patience or gods time. this environment is skrewed up from the bottom up. a company declares a vakancy for ten people and 100,000 people apply and u say its about patience/gods time?? this economy is in the pits and is not churning enough jobs for its young people, period!! no amount of patience or faith will give ten percent of young nigerians decent jobs in the next forseeable future! my advice, if u don't have the wherewithal to create ur own job, there are more than a 101+ other countries in the world where ur skills and talents will be utiliized rather than frittering your most productive years in a rergessive and backward environment

Bro,

If you don't believe in God let those who belief in Him do. This my job was a miracle. I would say be prepared always and pray for favour. Do your part so that God can do His.

@OP: 1yr and 3mths.

Till trusting God for my younger bro, 1yr and 2mths

orgasticdance: this is the sort of advice that irks me. its not about patience or gods time. this environment is skrewed up from the bottom up. a company declares a vakancy for ten people and 100,000 people apply and u say its about patience/gods time?? this economy is in the pits and is not churning enough jobs for its young people, period!! no amount of patience or faith will give ten percent of young nigerians decent jobs in the next forseeable future! my advice, if u don't have the wherewithal to create ur own job, there are more than a 101+ other countries in the world where ur skills and talents will be utiliized rather than frittering your most productive years in a rergessive and backward environment

Bro,

If you don't believe in God let those who belief in Him do. This my job was a miracle. I would say be prepared always and pray for favour. Do your part so that God can do His.

@OP: 1yr and 3mths.

Till trusting God for my younger bro, 1yr and 2mths

Royal Roy: Morning to all my pretty, gorgeous & wonderful ladies!!!


This is a piece from my mind I thought to share with you all.

Have u been a good woman to ur husband? Have u been a good fiancee to ur fiance?
Have u been a worthy girlfriend to your boyfriend?

Its a thing of the past to have a man in your life & yet u don't add any value to him.
He buys you nice things, takes u to nice places, makes u feel like a queen......am happy for you....I guess you got a caring man!!

But what are u giving back in return? SEX & FOOD?

Be motivated this morning ladies, add more lasting values to a man you love!! Help him be a better man for you.....challenge him to invest in his future...instead of helping him squander his money....work on his ideals....if you want a husband who doesn't keep late night 2-4-7....the work starts now!!!

Don't nag him....don't threaten him....don't give him ultimatums....that might backfire!!!

Give ur man a reason to come back home early to you! Let him have enough peace of mind to want to be with you!!

Remember you were not born with brazillian wigs.....let ur expenses be moderate when it comes to looking good!! A potential husband will always look deeper beyond all the artificial add-ons to convince him you are the one!!

Help him grow spiritually.....whatever religion you believe in, keep the fire of your faith burning...in words & deeds....learn to pray with him & for him!!

Work on ur hygiene, work on your modesty in dressing, work on your resourcefulness, don't be his reason to always go to the ATM machines, learn not to speak negatively in time of anger!!

A man who sees a reason to ask you out in the first place already has an interest in you.....increase your value before him!!

Wishing you all goodluck in ur relationship & marriages!!!

Regards

Royal Roy.

While I agree with you telling women to add value to their relationship 100%, a man who only add financial value to their relationship is the same as a woman who adds food/ domestics to the relationship.

P.S.: When did se.x become a value women add in relationship? Is it not the man who actually does the work? Does the woman not enjoy it? As a matter of fact, it's only prostitutes who have se.x as the value they add.

Kaymisola: Pastor Adeolu Adeboye is the first born, Pastor (Mrs.) Bolu Adubi is his only daughter and second born, pastor dare adeboye is the 3rd and pastor leke adeboye is the fourth, see all their photos, grand kids and more here

Are you sure these people are in the picture above?

Mayra C: do u have a boyfriend?

Why the question?

I thought she has about 3 co wives after her?

What is she celebrating?

Who is she celebrating with?

Where is her husband?

It depends on what you mean by rights and privileges. Can you give examples to help us understand you?

biolabee: This was the comment I was referring to... u asked me wat the opposite of useful is?

Did I say all naija men are useless there?

biolabee: Madam buka, this is better from u, as I was wondering why u lumped all naija males as useless earlier

Biola,

I never called all naija men useless.

I can bet with you that you will never find one post out of all the 2000+ posts I have saying such. I have never believed the 'all men are bad mantra' either but I will call a spade a spade. when it is time to talk to women, I will.

chaircover: Hmmmmm this brings us to another junction

Are they really bad husbands in the real sense of it . . .or are they just bad at showing their emotional side and fulfilling the emotional needs of their wives but they are good husbands in many other areas.

For example Reading I believe Nashvilles account of how his brother had to fix this and that, sort out the police that arrested the driver and house-help, it shows that the man does do a lot of firefigting to keep the home front going and they do many things in the background that we dont tend to see.

The thing is that a man has to be an all rounder to be seen as a "good" man. Half measure is not good enough and Its finding the balance that seems to be the problem in many instances.

True one has to be balanced to be 'good' but we are humans hence imperfect.

What matters is the intent and the thought so to say.

My fiancée does some stuffs but after analyzing, I see that he wanted to do good but fell short as he his human

I know a man that sends his wifey abroad because he hates to see his wife 'shapeless' whilst she is carrying their baby . I am sure a lot of other women would be green with envy despite the fact that they have a sweet hubby beside them who can't send them abroad.

debosky: ^^ See me in my bedroomoffice and I will explain everything.

Lol!

Talk na....

An0nimus: visit www.aproko.net





These few days I've come to realize that Nairaland is not just a faceless forum. It's way more than that.

A NLer in need is a NLer in deed

Oya repent and tell me what's up

bellong: To bring in a different dimension about "Nigerian dad". I want to believe that many people can not differentiate a good man, a good husband from a good father. Hence, the generalisation "Nigerian men" are useless probably because he is not a good husband.

A man can be good to the community around him and society at large and still be a bad father or bad husband. He may be a good husband and end up being the worst dad in the world. It takes grace, determination and disciplined character to be all at the same time which some men just couldn't come to terms with.

My dad fits in the perfect example of a good man but a bad husband cum dad. Yes, he was good to the society, helped everybody in need, paid fees of those who couldn't afford it etc. If there was to be a questionnaire of his character passed without the involvement of his close family, he would have had a 98% pass if not more. Yet, he failed on all fronts in his home. I can count the number of times I saw my dad in my lifetime, let me say I have no single story I can tell of my dad but that will not lead me to a generalisation remark that all nigerian fathers are bad. I do not like a general statement because it doesn't do well with the whole population.

Nevertheless, I still appreciate my dad because he is/was my dad and he did what he thought was best for his family. The experience I had built in me a solid foundation that my wife and children will always appreciate God for. I am of the school of thought of learning from every situation and becoming better for the experience. I have a young boy of 71/2month, I can't trade the joy and expression on his face anytime I arrive home with hanging out with boys. There was something I missed from a father figure which I am not ready for the cycle to continue. There is nothing his mother does that I can't do including changing diapers and bathing except that anytime I bath him, soap always find a way of entering his eyes .

@Op, you have made a good decision, keep to the resolve and you will be better for it in the long run.

Sweet

I was thinking of this but had been busy

After rolling my thoughts over, I finally realized that we were indeed lumping the husband and father part. I guess Nigerian men are better fathers than husbands. There is so much room for improvement though.

I remembered all the men I know, hear or read about and realized while some were terrible husbands, most passed as good fathers (at least in my books LOL!) and tried their best (enough or not) to be there for their kids.

I still believe that a lot needs to be done esp at the husband part.

It's well

Sorry for the drawback

But

Could a dear NLer be kind enough to explain the genesis of all this?

Thanks in advance

@OP: when did names start having protective power, if you name your child Jesus and he doesn't a Christlike life, it's of no use. Name the babe Jesus if you will and train him up in the way of the Lord.

Naming a kid Jesus for protection is akin to putting your Bible under your pillow for protection.

naijababe: I beg to differ, true stress can cause all kindsa katakata from physical to mental and/or emotional imbalance. Perhaps women as a result of having been programmed (I use that for lack of a better word) somewhat to believe that the success/failure of a family unit is solely up to them have a higher threshold for this kinda stress than most men.

I disagree with you.

Men lacking in this area do so because there is really nothing at stake. I know women who come back home to cook for the hubby and kids waiting at home. I know women who come back late to pick kids from day care while the hubby has gone home.

If a man is really to bond, neither stress, poverty nor any other factor can stop them. I have seen a man who packed his kids in his keke and they were eating home made akara with pure joy.

Let's stop making excuses for men not living up to expectations. Thx same men stressed still has time to hang out with the boys. Does it mean that if a man has a stressful job for 20yrs, he will not bond with his kids? Remember that women also work in that high stress zone and they still function as mothers.

biolabee: Madam buka... why that word useless?

Hi BB,

How service and family?

What is the opposite of useful?
.

Nashville: That is why I like reading your posts. You do have an analytical mind. If the average American dad had to drive three hours everyday, then go battle generator, nepa, water, police etc, you will see a difference in them too. Nigeria is tough and it is tough for everyone. I am not trying to give excuses because bonding and guiding your children is one of the essentials of parenting and everyone should try as much as possible to spend time with their kids.Nigeria has over 170 million people so there are millions of examples of bad fathers, good fathers and the ones that are trying. But what I dont understand is when people just make statements like "we all know Nigerian men are useless".

If we ask the question - "Do Nigerian men spend quality time with their children?" I am sure 80% of the gender bashers will says Nigerian men are drunks who leave parenting to the women. If you rephrase the same question and ask "Did your father spend quality time with you or does your husband spend quality time with your children"? These same people will say they had loving dads or have hands on husbands. The two questions in theory should give the same answer but it all depends on the way it is phrased. If lots of people had a good bond with their dads as we have seen on this thread, yet these same people just say Nigerian dads are not good at parenting, then something just does not add up. That is why I have been asking, please share your own personal experience with your dad or how your husband is acting. These Nigerian men are our fathers, husbands, brothers and children and we can start with our own experiences. We all have several examples of Baba Sule and Baba Muyideen who had ten wives and never cared for anyone. But I don't think Baba Sule represents the average Nigerian man.

There are lots of irresponsible men and there are lots of hands on dads out there. There are also lots of people who have "genuine excuses" why they are not spending time with their kids. What we should be discussing is how to help those who may want to but dont seem to have the time to be hands on dads. I had earlier suggested family vacation but I know it can be expensive. But the truth is that we can encourage people that rather than buy that new car or land, why dont you go on a family vacation where the whole family will spend time bonding. It will be worth more than the car or land in future. Sometimes some men should just avoid going for that owambe or friends wedding in order to take the kids for swimming or something else. What they need is a paradigm shift so that they can prioritise their families first. Those are the kind of discussions we should be having rather than just making blanket statements like "we all know Nigerian men are useless". We should remember we are all from the same society, the boys cannot be brought up one way and the girls another!

Nashville defender of the brethren!Lol! Remember that a Nigerian guy started this thread based on his observations.

Nigerian daddies are definitely doing better than their fathers but there is a lot of room for improvement.

The reason why a Nigerian dad will be hands on in Jand and be useless in Naija is the same reason a Nigerian will queue for hours aboard and be jumping queues on Nigeri.

Most people know the right thing to do. Whether there is the right motivation or punishment to do it is another keetle of fish.

[quote author=2s£xy]Thank you ma'am. I will and with God's help, it shall come to pass.[/quote]You are welcome.

Sorry your tread has been derailed. Just pick what you need and use it.

No matter how busy you are or seem, remember your kids are very important as they are the next generation.

It is well