₦airaland Forum

[quote author=DC-ONE]@fellis now i see the level of your I.Q...lol....damn you are soo retarded...lwkmd....you need to have you cranium checked...arguing with you is just a waste of time...i dont know what men have done to you in you life maybe your boyfriend or your husband..(dats if you have one)....if i were you i would let it go and get the load out of my chest...lol...by the way if you dont know,man was created from dust and a woman was created from the rib of a man (Adam) in the Garden of Eden while he was sleeping...im not saying that women are not very important but the natural law is that the male folks would always be the head..there is nothing you can do about it...either you take it or not...you cant change it....lol........YOU HAVE NOT STILL ANSWER MY 3rd QUESTION,IF YOU DONT I WONT REPLY ANY OF YOUR COMMENT....angry feminist...lol...go change yourself.....i laugh outt...peace out loser....Lol[/quote]Mr DC-ONE,

Saying male folks will always be the head is not correct. A man is only the head in his home and what that means is another topic entirely. Infact, you are the one that actually sounds bitter because she doesn't share your view. If you think creating a woman from the rib of a man makes him superior, then you must think the dust is superior to man.

fellis: Commot that woman picture wey dey your profile. It is wrong to deceive people that you are a woman when you are actually a man.

Hi Fellis,

I might not agree with your points but gal, you debate with logic and not emotions!

Go gal!

And you have not considered the fact that he's not into you hence the delay?

[quote author=ShyM-X]@ the bolded - that might be true in Nigeria/Africa(I don't have first-hand experience) but I still think there are more women in strategic position(s) of power in Nigeria than most countries in the world(outside the continent of Africa)... Which means it isn't really that bad...

Also, I don't think all men automatically gain respect by virtue of being men... Perhaps, you were referring to men in Africa... However, out here in the West - being a black man is probably the hardest thing since mathematical physics... So, feminists need to take a chill pill and weigh up the good and bad sides of their agenda - and find a balance somewhere... Destroying the family structure to achieve pseudo-equality is just something humanoids don't need at this stage of our existence and civilisation...

Anyway, I can't stand feminists - I think they're empty, lousy, and superficial.... [/quote]Just like Egba girl said, I think there are different types at branches of feminism and people have different interpretations.

I believe that my husband (currently my fiancé)and I are equal and that is what propels me to treat him the way he treats me. Before I do certain things, I try to think of how I would feel if he does the same thing and this helps in putting things in perspective. Knowing we are both equal has helped me understand that he sometimes need my help, encouragement, support etc. and I am prepared to be there for him as he is there for me.I do not understand why people especially men start frowning when it is implied that men and women are equal. I wonder why they feel it's a license to disrespect or be rude.

I also don't know where people get the idea that it's unfeminist to take care of your family esp husband and vice versa. The home must be cared for and it's the people in the home that would care for it. I however object to the fact that it is 'unmanily' to clean your home or do chores.

If only Christians can develop the fruits of the Holy Spirit, it would not matter if we are male/female, we would treat each other as humans first before gender.

I believe feminism was developed as a solution to a problem. If it is solving it or not, is another kettle of fish.

This thread is very inspiring. It will remind us as women and there is more to life than Brazilian/Indian/Peruvian/Abuja hair, clothes, shoes, marriage etc. and ginger us to leave lasting legacies like these women of old did.

@OP, thanks so much.

udatso: Please sir, was there church during the lifetime of christ

The Church really means the collection of all Christians. It's is not the building.

pmc01: >Realistic Statistics in many parts of the world today show that the population of females is more than that of the males. Also, the mortality rate of males is higher than that of females. Let us analyze it thus:
For example, we have more males in the military forces than females, which means more males will die at the war front, leaving excess females.
Some of these fallen soldiers usually leave young families behind.
Imagine you had a sister whose recently wedded husband dies at the battle front (May God save us from such trial). You and I know it will be difficult for her to find a single man that will accept and love her and her two little kids.
A man with one wife then learns of her and decides to have compassion on her and marry her. Sadly, the wife at home vehemently kicks against it. What impression will you have of such wife - A nice woman or heartless one?
It is clear that Allâh's legislations are to comfort us, not punish us.
Allaahu a'alam. Allaahu Musta 'an.

Do you know what love or marriage really means?

pmc01: Wrong! I know of a few Muslim women who, of their own volition, requested their fellow unmarried sisters to marry their own husbands. They said their husbands are just too good, and it will be selfish of them to enjoy their good husbands alone. Allâhu akbar! That is the height of true piety. And I swear by Allâh who owns my soul that what I have related is true.
Do you still call that oppression?
Well, you might not really understand such unique behaviour cos our Muslim women are not just like every other street lady. They understand that the goodies with their Lord are not comparable to the mirage glitters of this present world.

Nkan be!

[quote author=PEN_MIGHT]What are you saying,madam? But the wife is not complaining afterall she is married after someone too.

By the way , just try and stick to a child in your lifetime cos it will be an oppression to have multiple children.... Just an advice.....madame[/quote]You compare having more than one child to having more than one wife?

A wife and child is now equal?

The relationship between a wife is same between a child?

SMH

honeric01: See them o, lazy lazy, always looking for excuses. don't worry, the president'll soon ban importation of anything "foreign hair". maybe una go start to dey wear monkey hair.

Mr. Honeric01,

Bassey is not against fixing weaves; infact, she said that fixing weaves and braids helps to maintain her hair amongst others.

sanb: Her hair is straightened quite alright; but she's really doing great with it...Some Naija ladies are blessed with long hair and I’m not talking of Brazilian/Peruvian/Romania/Indian etc…. or whatever hair attachment is available...

I definitely believe that this can be the Ops real hair; cos I had long straightened hair all the way to my back before I cut it and decided to go low cut in a style. Even at that, I trim it quite often; cos it grows so fast. So yes some ladies are blessed with long hair.

#Teamlonghair all the way…..

I believe this is the key...

some people are blessed with long hair and care will only make it longer. Everyone can't have long hair even if they keep it natural and treat with coconut oil and shea butter.

NubiLove: From your right up, it is clear that you are an Excited Sanguine and your wife is an Angry Choleric. You made the biggest mistake of your life by marrying her! It is clear that she is not very socially and emotionally intelligent, if not she would not act that way. You should have married a Phlegmatic or a Melancholy lady... that fits you more.

Since you were not opportuned to advice the OP before he made the biggest mistake of his life, please pocket your advise and proffer a solution or hold your peace

True NaijaBwoy: Point 1 i do apologise, im not afraid to be sentimental!
Point 2 Women changing after the ring goes on, thats another issue! It a default land mine... this is not what this is about!!
Point 3 we initially had financial strangle on us that i felt was both to our mutual understanding, obvisouly not, im an absolute extrovert, she knew this about me and loved this about me,she also has this in her nature,but i firmly go to work n go home to spend time with the family, my time with the guys is playing on a footy weekend, which i have cancelled on a numerous occassion to hang with family,,, my flexibility has never been an issue... she also loves my relationship with kids which never changed, she will always tell you 1 thing, i am a good father and a hands on dad as she is a good mum,,, our problems was never us a a couple,,, its the external factors which are crippling and undermining us.
by the by,,,, I'm a very good cook and do cook for her, and my saturday is typically a house cleaning blitz by me,, especially sat mornings,,, this is neither here nor there, my point is i am not shy to be soppy if i feel happy!

silly me, maybe!! but we both deserve happiness even if its apart!!

I will say one fair thing, women(maybe her) prefer to see what they want to see rather than appreciate the personalised effort!

kai, una don turn me to agony uncle!!

Hi OP

The only reason I would want to hear about divorce is cheating and abuse. Since it has not degenerated to that level, please do you can do to salvage your marriage and love.

If you really love your wife and you think there is no issues between you two apart from the third party interference, why don't you pull the bulls by the horn and relocate or cut the third party influence to the barest minimum? Warn them to keep off your home and family; Warn your wife from relating everyday issues in the home with them; When they come with unsolicited advise, tell them to pocket it etc.

Do all you can do so that in future, you wouldn't turn on your lonely bed and regret not doing/doing some things due to pride and arrogance. Do not also underestimate the power of prayer.

God bless you.

cmega123: Laughs. For all intents and purposes, i ain't an ardent follower of football.

KK, Thou can't understand nor oversit!

collynzo2: But you have made about 1000 replies yourself to those same people........says a lot about you.

I made 1,000 replies and this post will be the 301st post on this thread. I guess the remaining 699 are spiritual posts.

I am certain you did not understand my post you quoted.

maclatunji: Bible


"And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the cud, it is unclean unto you. Ye shall not eat of their flesh, nor touch their dead carcass."
[Deuteronomy 14:8]

The corrupted or non corrupted version?

[quote author=tpia@]Not sure exactly when having the desire to get married became an issue that needs to be questioned.

Unless someone prefers to stay single, as has been done by millions if not billions of people all over the world, for various reasons including religious ones, i do not think wanting to get married should be classified as a crime, or viewed negatively.

The ways and means ( hooks and crooks) by which some people ( generally female), go about fulfilling this desire for marriage, is what brings them condemnation sometimes, when they go about it in ways that are destructive to others and detrimental to the man himself.

Now, having said that, some women are indeed driven to desperation when they keep coming across men who refuse to commit. Usually its a sign your family is under attack, when this is so.[/quote]And who questioned the desire to get married?

Amelian: In your mind he is imaginary... In mylife, he is real.... And I trust me, I don't need to seek for any attention, not my style... But one thing I will not let go is when someone like devour 129 thinks every woman wants to steal her husband... ....especially directing it to my own post... Do I know her, do I know you, so what's my own with her husband... If she is frustrated with her man,and his numerous girlfrnds, she shud take her grumbling to their doorsteps, not on open forum here..am content with what I have...I don't need No married man...

You have time to reply people who can't comprehend

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Girl - Why do men think women can't do without marriage? Why do they use a girl's marital status to abuse her? Why do they think being unmarried is the worst thing that can happen to a girl? Why do men say crude things about unmarried women?

Men - What?? What kind of generalization is this you lonely, unmarried hag? How can you paint all men with the same brush you spinster for life? Look at the miserable bitter lonely woman, instead of you to go look for husband you are here making false claims about men.


Hmmmm, How do our Yoruba grandparents say it again. . .them say make you talk TO, you get offended and say can't talk TO TO TO.

Okay naa https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/65.gif[/quote]+1, 000, 000 likes!

tony gee: A woman's life is tired around marrage

Oh really? Please tell me more...

Definitely a woman doesn't exist till she's married...

dare2think: The queen of England, with all her might, money and glory, is still with her husband of more than 50 years, wtf is the op all about.

Do not be misguided with neo-social constuct peddled by feminist by saying its ok to be a baby-mama. Do not populate this earth with misguided fatherless children because of your ego. (82% of children who commit crime in the uk have absent fathers)

Do not add to that statistic! (If you live in the uk)

Relationship is not a competition, your view of men is a reflection of your experience and those around you. Surround yourself with positivity.

Why not do away with sex entirely with men if you feel being with them is over rated

I wonder where you gathered that the OP is against marriage.

She even get kudos to good husbands even though I do not agree with her percentage.

obi123: you clearly are of the impression that a woman's happiness should lie in the fact that she is married , and you are one of those people who think marriage should be the number 1 priority of every living soul , get this into your head IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE SINGLE AND HAPPY , JUST LIKE ITS POSSIBLE TO BE MARRIED AND UNHAPPY and vice versa.

Ps. even married women steal other married women's husbands and wives (like you dont know)

God bless you. She really disappointed me with her first post.

Policewoman: Pls if you have been destined forever to remain a spinstress, don't spread your curse to other ladies who wish to get married. Keep your opinion to thyself and stop polluting our minds. Thank you.

So being spinster till she dies is a curse?

How can she pollute your mind? Where did she expressly discourage marriage?

devour129: if you read my post you won't have to ask that question . I have never insulted any single lady before but these chicks are pushing it. Why do they always like to make out us married ones like we are living in bondage or only managing our lives cos we still live in the Stone Age ? I can begrudge anyone to think and feel whatever makes them sleep better at night but don't spoil the notion of marriage for our younger generation coming up. If your parents marriage ddnt work,try make yours work so your kids can learn from you not talking trash here. Am going to boast here YES SOME OF US HAVE IT ALL,some are still working on there's and some are almost there. If you not married its your choice but don't come here acting like you are all that ! Bee baby that was the point am trying to make,sorry it offended you.

And where did Ame say that married people are in bondage? She was telling the OP not to let men get to her and enjoy everything she has and you had to post that post. How many women really really enjoy their homes? I guess those women who post stories that touch every day are ghosts.

I am disappointed in your post.

collynzo2: Nice try, keep consoling your self no need for self pity. Just say comforting things like the above to cover up the sadness, it 's a good thing.........................but we are no fools

Did she tell you that she's bitter or sad?

If you think that marriage makes people happy, then you must be very deluded.

DC Trendy: In as much as I don't have time reading your post, I know you re one of those prideful ladies out there.

My Advice: Change cos if you continue this way, your marital life might be endangered!

You don't have time to read her posts but you have time to conclude that she is 'prideful'.

You might as well keep your advice as you don't even understand the subject matter

princefunmi: Madam Chocolate, the simple truth is that your lives cannot be the same without men. Take it or leave it. It is not open for discussion. I can tell you are still a LASS. Only Lasses blurt out childish statements like you have just done. I'll pass off that you are still quite immature.
Maybe by the time you are 30,and you are still single, you'll probably be asking why men prefer younger ladies to old and matured ones? Times and tide are two non permanent things, they change.
It is your type that tend to make things unstable. Imagine the arrogance in your statement. To put aside the Bible and Koran. By what authority do you speak. Man or God?

And why can't her life be the same without a man? It's unreasonable statements like this that make women jump at the next available thing. Marriage is beautiful when the man and woman bring their best to the table. Even the Bible that most people would claim to follow says that 'one will chase a thousand and two will chase ten thousand' and not 'one will chase zero.' Yes, a marriage filled with love help both spouses bring out their best and inspire their world but it would be a fallacy to say that she would not exist because she is NOT tied to a man.

devour129: marriage it's for companionship ,to re-procreate ,to have some with whom you share common,to have someone that will always have your back,some to grow old with etc. if you are not married with the excuse that not marriages are bliss,am so so so so so so so sorry for you. Am sure you can trade all you think you have for a husband of your own.dont know why all these single girls think we are not happy and they go behind us trying to steal our husbands

Is this your post really in response to her?

And is it any business of yours if she decides not to get married?

And as for going behind your backs to steal your husbands, You should know that most married men treat their GFs far better than they treat their wives.

[quote author=[CHocolaTE]]SERIOUSLY? WHY?

Why on earth do you people think that women will keel over and die if they don't get married?
Why do you think women are just dying to get married or get you hooked?

Day after day on Nairaland I see posts by men that talk about how some female celebrity is approaching her 30's and is not married or how some other ladies will never get married because of one reason or another as if these women told you that their lives cannot continue without marriage.

Why on earth do you people think Nigerian women are desperate to get married to you?
See eh, the reason why majority of women seek marriage is because of societal pressure from people that cannot mind their business and because they want to have kids that will not be called bastards so you better understand that fact.

Marriage hardly benefits women (except the very few lucky ones that married considerate men) so why do you think they are dying for it?
Husbands come home from work and expect a hot/good meal which the wife is supposed to have prepared; it is hardly ever the other way round and it is very rare for a woman to come home and meet that her husband has prepared something for her to eat yet this is something men enjoy all the time.
Men just stay by the side and watch while their wives whine in pregnancy pains and face the pains of being pregnant for months; imagine the struggles of getting the kids ready for school while fighting early morning sickness.

She works to assist you and must still submit to your whims because society expects her to, and you still expect sexxual gratification when you come home not considering that she is probably exhausted.
Also, after marriage the husband clearly enjoys his life and freedom more than the woman. he can close from work and 'hang out with the boys' instead of going home and nobody queries him, but his wife can never try such, she goes home straight to take care of children, does the cooking and cleaning and what not. She even has to take a break from work sometimes to pick the kids from school and drop them at home then go back to work before finally returning home at the end of the day to carry house work solely on her head because the majority of Nigerian men are lazy asses that think that helping their wives at home is an abomination.

After all the stress of doing housework on her own and taking care of children on her own she starts to look old and tired and her husband complains that she is now too old and unattractive and without thinking twice, he begins to look outside at younger women because his wife is no longer attractive to him.
The worst part is that the children the women is taking care of, the children that she got so stressed for and losses her beauty after birthing are bearing the man's name. The children bear his name and not hers and yet the men will have the effrontery to say that their wife is no longer attractive after bearing these kids so they want to chase other women.

What do women even gain from marriages for heavens sake?
People expects them give up your identity and start bearing their husbands' name, the kids you spend your life taking care of bear his name and claim his home town when they are asked where they come from, the man is very very likely to cheat on his wife and maybe infect her with some STD or another and he will more likely than not, turn her into his slave by refusing to assist with house work while expecting her to contribute financially to the upkeep of the house.
In fact, if not that religions make childbearing outside marriage a sin and society(mostly men) treat unmarried girls like outcasts, I'm sure many women will not get married, who in their right senses will want to marry an overbearing, unhelpful, slave driving no-good lazy ass; which majority of men are, when they can just have their kids in peace and not have to worry about taking care of him?

All of you can relax, eh kwa?
Women are not in any hurry to become your slaves.
Enough of the marriage this and marriage talk you keep disturbing our ears with.


Lastly, I know that not all married men think that women are on earth to be their slaves, I know that some kind and thoughtful men still exist there so this message does not apply to them.
Kudos to the 2% of Nigerian men that still have respect for women and consider their feelings after marriage.
I salute you.[/quote]Your write up is quite interesting and I understand your points.

However, the answer lies in this same post: The key to enjoying marriage is been married to the right person as a man or woman. I agree 100% that a woman who marries an inconsiderate men would feel like a slave in her marriage but like you noted, there are some godly men out there.

As for the pressure, I believe most girls are brought out for solely marriage and are seen as failures if they don't get married. A married woman suffering in her marriage is more respected than a single lady doing well in her station. I also feel that married women put same pressure or even more on single women. We have examples in NL.

Marriage was created for companionship, checkmating adultery and children. Until we get it right, people especially women will keep suffering in their marriages. As long as women feel the crazy urge to be identified as 'MRS' and not focus on achieving what God has purposed for them, there will continue to be crisis.

pleep: I think this thread is going backwards... we are rehashing issues we have already adressed.

Anyway Kenechi is right, the feminist portrayal of history is completely incorrect. Women by in large benefited from marriage much more then men did in the past. In Ancient Rome when men started refusing to get married the women went ape-shyte.

Eventually they started passing bachelor taxes to start forcing men to marry.

And secondly, if women were seen as so silly in the past why do we have a plethora of beloved female leaders like; Queen Elizabeth, Catherine the great, etc etc

Even China was headed by a large number of empresses and queens who had absolute control over every single male in the country...

The bolded sounds like because Dangote can buy a yacht, all Nigerians are rich.

You and I know that those women were exceptions and not the rule.

Women don't have much rights in the ancient Israel and yet Deborah was a Judge.

The guys are trying to prove the OP wrong by doing the exact thing she accuses them of! Lol!

cmega123: Getting married to someone because he/she is a fan of so and so seems so superficial to me. There are more important things to consider than being a fan of so and so in the issue of marriage.

Oga, follow the conservation from the beginning!

P.S.: Are you are gunner's fan?