₦airaland Forum

ichidodo: Happy i made someone smile in this thread today. As far as your babyboi is a disciple of the Economics proffessor a.k.a Baba-Ijebu ARSENE WENGER and the ethos of ARSENAL FOOTBALL CLUB then the Sun will always shine (financially and otherwise) on your marriage by the Grace of God. Peace out.

LOL!

softy: Please answer the following questions humbly:

Are u a christian?
Are u married?
What makes it difficult for anyone or someone to easily submit and succumb to a higher authority (husband,leaders and heads)as God demanded
Is it sturbborness, inferiority complex or superiority complex, gender-equality mindset

Your answers are very important!

THANKS

Hi Softy,

We are discussing about Christian men and not women however, I will answer your questions.

1. Yes
2. No
3. I don't know what you mean by gender-equality mindset as the genders are equal. Most people would unconsciously submit to leaders who show them love.

There are exceptions however.

Does Tonto really thinks she looks better now than some years back?

She looks like surgery gone wrong.

let her learn from Omotola, Genny and co

No matter what you do or not do, resist the urge to play with your features esp your face: it usually back fires

Considering the fact that the occasion is supposed to celebrate the strength of the Nigerian woman, I think that the joke is in very poor taste.

It would be in bad taste to make baby jokes in front of a childless couple

MacLovington: .

God did not punish Abraham for having Haggai, nor David except for adultery. Solomon was punishded for idolatory not polygamy. Monogamy is a fairly new concept, precisely since Jesus' time.

That people were punished for fornication there's no physical evidence. In Naija of today about 95% of people commit fornication before marriage so who are we fooling?

We should all be dead by now if that was the case.

God winked at the time of ignorance...
Divorce was also spoken against just in Jesus' time.

God created Adam and Eve and not Eves!

If he created only one woman for Adam and he survived for 930yrs, then you should know that saying men are naturally polygamous is a myth of the devil!

passionate88: true but why didn't God created more than 1 female for Adam?.

He didn't know what He was doing na!

If men were created to be polygamous, then God is a wicked God to punish humans for adultery and fornication.

Real men have self control and know how to say no.

@OP: your points are nice but it would be better to say 'how to make your home happy' than how to prevent him from cheating...

I am assuming that a man is matured enough to lead his home by example. Imagine a CEO saying she would resign because her employees are not working or a principal saying he will come to school late because his teachers are late.

A man should be able to discuss heart to heart with his wife/gal on what he wants to see and feel ib their relationship. 'hey babe, I don't feel pampered or loved, you are not romantic, I don't feel secure or respected' is not too much or too heavy to say.

The only way a man would not cheat is if he believes it's wrong. Apart from that, it's a waste of time. I know couples who believe that cheating is ok as long as he doesn't bring her home. Some women actually pack condoms for their men when they are travelling for infamous business trips.

A man must show himself capable of leading his home by having self control. What example is he setting for his kids? Why do most men cheat secretly if it's natural?

Men are not babies who throw tantrums when things are not going their way. If they are not comfortable with the way they are treated, they should present their points with love and respect.

Marriage is a two way street of give and take. It takes both parties in it to make it work.

terrificspartan: Well like someone rightly stated.. Circumstances vary and situations also change over time
Let me share a story with you... I know a couple, when they got married the guy took care of everything, the lady was a corp member.. Even till the point when the lady was retained and started receiving income, he still bore most of the financial responsibility. He however encouraged the lady to save for the raining day.. They had a joint account which only the guy serviced; the lady never saw the need to deposit money in the Joint Account
The lady knew how much he earned, knew the PIN to his cards.. as far as I know he was very sincere to the lady in all ramifications
However, the guy's stopped working for close to 1 year and he also had an health condition.. Ideally the lady should have assisted with finances etc.. However that was not the case, the lady didn't even help with his medically expenses.. he was on his own. They ran into debts and they lady told everyone it was as a result of the guy being without a job
Fortunately for him, he got a job and he decided to be discreet. Now the lady doesn't know how much he earns and he tries to share the expenses his wife..
Especially for a man it is not good to be a liability of any sort, people could be funny especially when there are challenges.
We need God's guidance in making certain choices and decisions

Sorry but the wife is NOT a 'wife'.

Black Kenichi: The answer to these questions are by and large "yes". Most black men don't oppress black women. Most black men treat black women with respect and there is no need for "women's liberation"!
There are a few black men that treat black women like sh1t. However the key word in that previous sentence is "FEW". The problem is feminism like to focus on the few bad apples rather than focus on the great gains that feminism has brought women and society to the point that women have a lot of power yet very little responsibility.


I'll say it once and I'll say it again. Black women are not being oppressed by black men. End of story!
The whole feminist doctrine of "men have always oppressed women" is simplistic BS

.

I would not agree with you at bolded. Right from time, men have always oppressed and disrespected women in marriages and society. Women are always seen as silly and most negative cultures affect women. Men are given the license to treat women as they please. The Chinese have a saying... 'I was two people coming... Oh, it's just a man and his wife'. Till date, you hear a lot of men saying 'how can a mere woman talk to me like that' I would however agree that there are some extremists amongst them and some of the things they fight for are wack like trying to change the word 'history' to 'herstory' etc. It's easy for us to say that domestic helps are not maltreated because we are not one.

Black Kenichi: Feminism has brought women some wonderful things like the vote, equal pay for the same job and station, education. it has also brought women complete control of their reproductive rights. What more do feminist want?

Saying feminism has brought women some wonderful things means that women previously lacked those things (which is oppression). I think extreme feminism (like everything extreme) is the problem and not feminism itself.

ichidodo: @bukatyne.Sory for replying you this late as i was at the Nnamdi azikiwe airport to say Good bye to my migrating cousin and his very pregnant wife.I feel depressed right now but let me say that you can never go wrong with a fiance who is a gunner. We, gunners, are rare breed;passionate, affectionate and patient. Most of us are generally smart therefore generally well-to-do gents. As with the style of football of our darling team (champagne-class) we 've got taste as far as the fine things of life are concerned so i envisage you to be a beautiful and delightful lady. I love the style of your relationship, my regards to your fiance. Up gunners, one love.

Hope you are not stressed out.

I am really smiling here!

Yea, I have heard myths about arsenal fans...

As for the well to do part, we will get there together.

carmelion: keep it up girlfriend!,Pretense only leads to disappointments cos you can't hide for long.Enjoy your similarities
and make your differences interesting.Perfect is boring,you know

I pray it happens soon . Inviite us o

Thanks dear!

It will be next year by God's grace as we just started working late last year.

God will definitely give you someone special too.

Black Kenichi: That's the biggest myth. Black feminism owes it's existence to white feminism especially to the CIA operative Gloria Steinem. The problem with black feminists are is they think that black men and the black "patriarchy" are the ones oppressing black women when it's actually white men that are the biggest oppressors of the black community. Ironically black feminists seem to worship and praise the white man yet they (white men) think very little of black women and black people in general. This makes black feminists look confused, phony, mercenary and hypocritical.


They need to truly focus on who's really "oppressing" them. I'll give you a hint - It's never been black men!



I explaied my stance on feminism on the first post.
https://www.nairaland.com/1254189/feminism-why-women-general-especially#15190599

Like many socio-political/economic ideologies like capitalism, communism, socialism, fundamentalism, fascism, liberalism, conservatism, libertarianism, republicanism, democracy etc.
They are all based on simplistic BS.

Black feminism never denied its roots in white feminism.

I still don't get you...

Are you saying that black men don't oppress black women? That they are treated equally and with respect? That they needed no liberation

OR

Are you saying the black women is oppressed and disrespected by black men but they should suck it up because they are not equal?

biolabee: I dont get this

There is a Feminism - why women in general (especially blacks) have been duped by it!! thread.

I thought you were on it.

byvan: Abeg last born without any troublesome unmarried sister is always easier,lucky you.

'

Thanks

biolabee: why would anyone argue against fact
Some cultures were matriachial though

Are you not on the 'Feminism - Why Women In General (especially Black Women) Have Been Duped By It!!' thread?

@OP:

You seem to suggest that only Nigerian ladies have tattoos or will bring up their kids or are dark.

Everybody has his or her own preference.

There is a man/woman for everyone.

playmode: Caramel legs ko,purple legs ni Keep lying to yourself.You and i know that most Naija Girls can't compare with girls in other parts of Africa when it comes to legs ,coke bottle booty,spotless BLACK skin and facial beauty.

The physical characteristics of SOME naija girls especially the celebrities (notice that i said some)are:

(A) Macho looking Wowo face
(B) Scatter scatter leg like chicken feet
(C) Burnt skin,Burnt knuckles,Burnt knee caps ,Burnt heels and mustache due to skin bleaching

95% of our female celebrities have bleached the living daylights out of their skins and they look like freak shows.If they could bleach their internal organs ,i believe they will do so.All because they have inferiority complex and want to look like oyinbo pepe e.g Tonto Dike, Dencia and Rukky Sanda. Forget about their Photoshopped pics on magazine covers,get close to them and you will run for dear life. Chai wowo.com

Thank GOD Ini Edo does not do that so i will give her 4 out 10 for this photo.Somebody please tell her to cover her legs.Those chops stick need not be seen in public.She should also stop using nail paint,they just make Black women look trashy.

Just remember that many naija guys travel and live overseas so they have seen better "things".Level pass level; my sister.No one can return to a Volkswagen after driving a Bentley .I just pity those my brothers back in naija who have limited choices,eeyah sorry boys.No be my fault o!

Apart from the bleaching, what else this these women create themselves?

DMainMan: You are crazy for lying against Islam. Repercussions will surely be against unless u change

Apart from the bra issue in Somalia that I have no idea about, she did not lie.

Thanks.

I glanced through the 3rd link and got the following:

There is white aspect and black aspect of feminism. For the purpose of this thread, I will deal with the black.

There are 2 waves:

Ist wave:a break way from white feminists because the black women felt they had more problems than the whites. They were both oppressed by the whites(Men and women)and black men.

2nd wave focused more on the black woman's role in society and the ways these women were both oppressed and represented within the social structure.


This is the summary.

What basically do you have a problem with?

What the movement represents?
How they go about it?

etc.

Hi everyone,

I was invited to this thread by Cameroonpride

@OP: Please can you define what you mean by feminism so that we are all on the same page.

Sorry to draw this thread backwards.

ichidodo: INSTALLING HUSBAND!!
She writes to the I.T Support Crew
Dear support crew,
Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and i noticed a slowdown in the overall system performance particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as romance 9.5 and personal attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as News 5.0,No money 3.0 and Football 4.1 conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House clean 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please Note that i have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail
What can i do?
-----------------------------------------
Dear ma
First keep in mind,Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter the command:ithuoghtyouloveme.Html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt3.0 update if those apps work as designed ,Husband 1.0 should then automatically MOD itself to run Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.However, Remember,overuse of the above apps can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad app that will eventually download Snoring Loudly Beta.Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-in-law 1.0(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources)
Concurrently, please do not attempt to re-install Boyfriend 5.0 app. These are unsupported apps and will crash Husband 1.0
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great OS but it consumes a limited amount of memory and as such cannot learn new apps quickly enough.You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance glitches, we recommend:Cooking 3.0 and Good-looks 7.7
Good luck Ma
Happy 100 page anniversary
P.S: I did not tell any body to laugh

That is the problem we have in life.

Why can't the husband to be just exhibit who he really is during courtship? I always wonder when people say that courtship is different from marriage. Why so?

I know my fiancé is a staunch arsenal fan. When I am visiting and it's time for arsenal's match, he leaves me and go to watch the ball in a viewing center if he can't watch it in his room. It would be hypocritical of him to deny himself of that when I am with him and bring it on when we are married. I understand he needs his 'me' time. I can watch films, read, sleep or my favorite: NL! He knows I am a NL convert and is getting used to it .

we try not to give each other false impressions et expectations so that in marriage we are not disappointed though we can't possibly know all about each other.

@ OP:

I am lucky to be engaged to the last born in the family and the immediate elder sister to my fiancé is 9yrs older than I am.

Madame Anne should better get her act right. It's mostly SILs and MILs who decide to be terrors to the DILs. One of my uncles' wives call all my uncle's nieces (the daughters of her husband's sister i.e. us) aunty and will want to knee for me and I will be like what? She will call us ma, will want to carry our plates when we are done eating and I tell her to stop. She will even kneel fully for my married male cousins. I once 'reported' her to my mother and asked why she was behaving like that and she said 'it's the culture bla bla bla'.

However, all my uncles' wives are treated like daughters by my mom and aunts. One would think they are our elder sisters. They all give them stuffs and they don't pay for services rendered for them. One thing with my extended family is that we the ladies are all enlightened and don't care for all the in-law bullshit.

I would however not like such a life for myself.

biolabee: Because rightly or wrongly, culturally in the past women were seen as a means to an end
The end is the children and thus the focus

And yet when, people say women were seen as slaves in olden days still now, some people will say otherwise.

chronique: You wanna know the truth? before the whole thing started,he told me how they were talking dirty and he had a feeling shit was abt to happen. But he also added that he wouldn't turn down the opportunity if it presented itself cos he never gave up and here's an offer he can't reject" i'm actually happy he told me cos some other guys would have kept quiet and would have slept with her to get back at me without saying a word about it. He was a true friend in that situation. At least,he didn't allow me settle with a LovePeddler. In fairness,we both competed in asking the girl out but I was faster than him and he felt defeated somehow. It was more of him saying: "you got her but here's my chance to get some action". I don't wanna go on about this but please stop telling me I was wrong and stop feeling sorry for the bitch. She got what she wanted. If she'd succeeded,maybe I might have mistakenly settled with her and she'd be feeling like a smartie. I've had lots of female friends who've done this thing and they used to tell me a lot of their secrets so I understand how women are. The irony of it all is they're married with kids today. Sometimes I feel very sorry for their husbands.

I am NOT supporting the lady neither do I feel pity for her. I actually dislike cheats of both genders.

As for your friends, they are sleeping with men and those men will be married to women too.

Anyways, whatever works for you.

Take care.

Orikinla: My point is, she is still looking great even as a mother breastfeeding her baby. Our women should still look pretty and sexy for their husbands even while nursing their babies instead of looking like retired matrons.

There are different body structures. Also consider that all fingers are not equal. Some women do not have luxury of been picky when it comes to food.

biolabee: Well here goes

I agree truth and fact are synonyms but facts have always been known to be strongly affected by perception or knowledge you know at the point in time

To limit the discussion i used your scenario but i use a xtian allegory

FACT: I am ill now
FACT: I am having 39 deg C fever
FACT: I feel abandoned
FACT: I have not been promoted for like 7 years now

TRUTH: God is by my side

Two weeks down the line, a double promotion, healing and a fruitful relationship is materialising
does it change the facts YES!
does it change the truth NOPE

God has always been by the side

what do you think

This is also a nice analogy.

in this case, I think the facts are the same but you decide to hold on to the truth you know.

The fact that God is by your side doesn't change the fact that you are ill but it puts things in a different perspective.

biolabee: Really unfortunate news and hope the children achieve their destiny

I still beleive suicide is not a good way to die and leaves people in the lurch but i dont believe insenstivity to show strength or bravado is the way to go

May she rest in peace

This however does not remove the fact on ground

whether due to society or brainwashing or whatever
Cheating by men is easily more condoned anywhere in the world than by women

ish

This sounds better than saying it's natural.

biolabee: Love this post but I don't agree with your conclusion on them being synonyms

Truth is usually an interpretation of facts as we know them or have them ahe point

Using your scenario

Until more facts emerge on why he killed himself we can't know the truth of the unfortunate event

But I respect your points

You can google it.

Thanks for the compliment

Hi dolls,

This is to celebrate the 100th thread.

I can see some e-fights et al, what's up?

@Carmiedoll, your poem was wonderful!

Have a wonderful day.

ayobase: Point of correction, next time u wanna QUOTE me, tune ur brain into civilty before ur fingers go ahead!

Its a warning, and a simple piece of advice from "ayobase"!

I guess your own post is an embodiment of civility.

And what would you do if she doesn't heed your warning and 'advice'?

[quote author=12 inches!]See the difficult thing u gave bukatyne to analyze. Don't u knw she'll rather read linda ikeji's or comment on who wore it better on the front page. Lol[/quote]Did you NOT see that I was the one that distinguished it in the first place?

Change the quality of women around you.