₦airaland Forum

[quote author=isale_gan2]It is too bad the Omo N'Oba bowed, but what do we expect; those racist colonial bastards tried to do away with that kingdom and many others.

But there is nothing wrong with his traditional kingly attire when you see it upclose. It is regal and resplendent.

Have some pride in your culture for God sakes![/quote]What does the bolded mean?

[quote author=Okija_juju]They are both royalty in their own rights and one had no business bowing to the other..

It has nothing to do with her being a woman.[/quote]She also bowed to him too

blackchief: As long as you are rich, popular,powerfull from a developing countries like ours, women will always be a problem e.g Fela,M K O Abiola, Ojuku, king Sunny Ade,David Mark, Obasanjo,Atiku, etc the list goes on. Tuface is not the first and will not be the last to have children from diffrent women.

The problem we have here is a society problem, the society accept children out of wedluck(bstd) and our women practices it.

Do the women pregnant themselves?

[quote author=Oga-@-d-top]i courted with my wife for 11 yrs,we met while in secondary school.the 11yrs courtship was blisful and romantic though,i will not encourage any1,expecially ladies to risk long courtship.men have nothing to lose.we are married for 3 yrs and i love my wife i must confess.its a risk fot ladies.[/quote]Can you expatiate?

Imagine your wife heard this and decided not to wait for you?

I think the poster means period of proposal till the wedding day

2

Sexily Endowed: I was being sarcastic. Maybe i am taking it the wrong way but what i understood from her was she wants a man to help her with her domestic chores. If she is not cut up to do domestic chores than why does she not get a maid to help her do those chores she finds difficult to do on her own. Why must it involve blk men as if she thinks white men are doing chores at home. Wake up and smell the coffee woman otherwise you will end up alone because no man wants a nagging woman.

I wonder how you inferred she nags or who told you she is scared to end up alone.

Why this inherent disrespect towards women? Is she NOT allowed to have a choice?

What is wrong with a man doing chores at home? A husband and wife live in a home and the man does no chores? What does he do when she is cleaning? Must she have a maid?

I think the OP is a very wise person. She has decided the kind of home she wants and the 'likely' set of men who can she can build such an home with. I believe this is far better than marrying a man and hoping, praying, fasting etc. that he changes from how she met him to who she wants him to be.

My problem is her thinking that only a race can give her that. There is the good, bad and ugly everywhere.

[quote author=@kenyattaMoore]Stupid woman,I hope she pays for what she did mcheww!!![/quote]Excuse me?

Did she just pick a broken bottle and stab a random man?

Granted she shouldn't have stabbed the corper but don't sound like she was just bottle happy.

Sexily Endowed: Why would you say such a thing. The problem here and with the Op is that she wants to be a white woman. Black women should understand that black men, white men, asian men etc are all different and should not compare each race of men amongst the other. Black men especially African blk men have culture and what she feels about "equality and all that rubbish" is from looking at white ppl and wanting to be like them. Did your mother expect your father to do all this that you cannot find in a black man? I really do not understand some blk women of today. Why cant we embrace our culture and appreciate what we have and it is due to this culture that divorce rates especially amongst Africans is low.

I hope you saw the mail I quoted.

Maybe the bolded is really what she's talking about.

Mightyify: Am a nice guy! Am handsome also. I have known this tip 4 every long time buh i find it very hard to change to bad guy. I'm always kind to girls nd dnt lyk being harsh or arrogant to them..buh i tell u it has never paid off, instead my urgly nd bad guy friends stil get more girls nd punny than me. I believe d op...jst dat i cnt change or rather do nt knw hw.

My dear,

why would you seriously consider having multiple sex partners as a sign of luck or God's favor?

shymexx: And who says there aren't tons of black men out there who are also like that? Just because people say that online, that doesn't mean that's how they're in real life... Anyway, if the white man is your source of happiness and joy, go for it...

If white men are the perfect creatures most of you try to tell us they're, they won't have the highest divorce rate in the world...

We all know that blacks would lead in that department if there was no stigma against divorce

[quote author=OK_2_NV]all these poorly trained yoruba sluts see nothing wrong in having a baby out of wedlock.

Other than annie, all of tuface's baby mamas are yorubas. Even P-squares baby mama is a yoruba.

What does this say generally about the virtue of yoruba women?[/quote]You must be a very senseless person.

What has tribe got to do with personal choices?

Is Tu-face yoruba? Are P-squares yorubas?

I am very sure you just to fuel tribal conflict here.

Dear OP,

I really don't think that only white men have the ability to be a good husband. Love is independent of race, height or colour afterall, we hear stories of white men who cheat, abuse, kill and disrespect their wives.

Granted that our society seems to disfavor women in marriages but I know there are still very good husband materials in our society because I have one with me .

If you meet a white man who meets your standards, by all means do marry him but don't feel that there are no black brothers equally good or even better.

It's well.

dayokanu: If ones side job is to make the other side happy without consideration for his own happiness then its no way different from slavery. Slaves make masters Happy, Masters dont care about whatever makes slaves happy or it isnt important if Slaves are happy or not as long as masters are happy




This was your first post it only states that a man needs to be ready to give everything to make a woman happy and never stated that women have any responsibility in making their partner happy

So if a mans job is to make a woman happy, Who now makes the man happy?

Hi Dayo,

I had this revelation last year...

The love of a man makes a woman blossom and the woman takes care of the man to make him blossom too.

miss20: ]wow ur relatnshp is realy cool.ur case is diff.I tink d lady was talking abt relationships wer the guy is comfortable financially 4 marraige.nd even if hiz nt,d girl shuld knw if hiz going to marry her wen hiz financially ok.u probably stayed wit ur man cus u both loved each other nd u knew he loved u enof to marry u.wishn u d best in dat relatnship jare,its nt easy

Thanks

I understand the OP perfectly. I made a post to that effect.

MRbrownJAY: can you care to point out to us all where is the BAD GUY in what you described above?! for a minute i thought you described a NICE GUY, lol!

It's not even a nice no nonsense guy...

It's a principled nice guy. If I have principles that I live by, how does that make me 'bad'? Any guy who takes trash in the of being nice is not nice but has a low self esteem and lacks respect for himself.

I have my principles as a lady and I wouldn't describe myself as a nice bad girl
LOL!

[quote author=BABE!]No woman really wants a typical bad guy. We want the best of both worlds; a bit of nice, a bit of bad.

The ones endowed with both traits are scarce; they're already taken or about to be taken!

The ones left are the two extremities , hence they're always up for grabs.... women prefer the bad guys as the last option because humans generally prefer adventure to boredom.[/quote]Dear speak for yourself.

Adventure is relative. God has given our minds such power to create anything. All the adventure you see, somebody created it.

coogar: who's talking about niceness? we are talking about the chronic church guys that can never cheat on any woman!



most times, appearance says a lot about the manners!



so if you meet a pant-sagging dude with do-rags and a fat blunt on his left hand you would be inclined to date him because he might just be a nice guy? this is akin to tasting dog's poo just to be sure it is not the fecal matter of a baboon!

Niceness; the quality of being nice.

So the fact that a man can't cheat on his woman means he's nice? I laugh!

What if he beats her till kingdom comes?

Woe betides any woman who marries a fanatic churchy man who misunderstands 'a man is the head'...

I might not be attracted to a sagging man because he's not my type BUT I would definitely not jump at a man because his trousers don't reach the ground.

missy1010: Honestly speaking I kind of agree, my ex boyfriend was a complete loser, always insecure and jealous, i mean I have no problem with the jealousy but d insecurity was just plain disgusting, it's really not sexy and it made him seem like a pussy. Girls want the a confident, sexy, intelligent guy not a weepy, whining man-woman, dat just sick. Only one person is supposed to whine in a relationship and its not the man.

Madam,

Also remember that your Ex might have had issues in the home where he comes from and looked up to you as giving him live to heal. Nobody was born insecure or jealous. Did you ever try to find the root cause?

A thread 'My father kills my spirit daily' or so was opened a while back. I know the guy would be very jealous, insecure and possessive except if he heals before entering a relationship.

P.S. Some people are naturally wacked anyways and nothing can help.

MRbrownJAY: lol bro Coogar the elite and sensible one of NL, i can only learn from people like you, even though a nice debate never hurt our minds!



you can only bend a branch so long until it breaks....some women have ulterior motives why they stay in these r/ships but the majority are unhappy, miserable and living like ghosts. we all know that many are in abusive r/ships but can you sit here and say that this is what is RIGHT to do or live? some women are selling their bodies for money, even though we dont know why they do it, is it RIGHT? some people are killing others for mobile phone or cars, is it right?

no matter how we want to look at it, treating your partner like a rag is NOT RIGHT. unless this lady is with a nice guy, she will never be truly happy (as for the sado maso ladies out there, pls feel free to get your beat down on)



bro, women shouldnt cry to begin with, so if they were with the right guys, they wouldnt. only dating a wrong guy would bring such heartache on a daily/weekly basis. are you now saying that a nice guy is just a guy that provides for what material nonsense these ladies want? maybe so, but also dont forget the care affection presence etc that the bad boy never showed her.

as i always say, to each their own, but a bad boy never last the distance. if you want to go the long way you need to treat your woman right.

MBJ,

This is truly nice.

I wonder how people would brag about being bad in the first place.

missy1010: Honestly speaking I kind of agree, my ex boyfriend was a complete loser, always insecure and jealous, i mean I have no problem with the jealousy but d insecurity was just plain disgusting, it's really not sexy and it made him seem like a pussy. Girls want the a confident, sexy, intelligent guy not a weepy, whining man-woman, dat just sick. Only one person is supposed to whine in a relationship and its not the man.

And why should you whine?

Who told you that men like women who whine or are weepy?

coogar: women want a leader, a guy who will lead them. a guy who, when he dates them, takes them places and takes care of things his way, who stands up for who he is and will debate her on topics if he doesn't agree with her. women want to be with a guy who knows he can actually get laid by other women but chooses to be with her - this does her self confidence a whole world of good!



if this is true, why are you not dating the assistant pastor in your church?

What you and some others have failed to understand is that niceness is NOT defined by your clothes or position in church or intelligence or ugliness.

A guy can be ugly, poor, churchy etc and still be very wicked or bad. I have seen Pastors, elders etc who beat their wives, disregard and disrespect her and handsome, trendy men treat their wives like queens. TI think this is the exact problem we have in the church today. I see a firebrand pastor and automatically assume he is a hot catch. I don't take into consideration that he is unbending and doesn't she other peoples' POV. I see a man well groomed, handsome etc and automatically assume he is a sinner or 'unserious' with God and hence will be a bad husband. Sister Titi sings like an angel and O la la I must marry her. I am blinded to the fact that she thinks all other members of the choir are beneath her and doesn't relate with them. She doesn't even make up or put on trousers therefore she must not pass me by. Sis Janet puts on trousers therefore she is a b!tch etc. I remember a lady who heard that I don't wear trousers saying that 'I must be a very good girl'. I was like seriously? I know a guy in school who never dated girls who wore trousers and changed them like clothes. This guy himself would qualify as a 'nice' guy by looks.

How can one know a good/bad guy/girl by his or her looks only? Infact, I am actually inclined to believe that bad guy/girls actually hide under the canopy of nerd/geek/dressing to perpetuate their evil.

As for women who prefer the truly bad guys, know that they have no vision for their lives and can be blown antwhere like chaff.

Jisola Mar: IMO, what you described above is not entirely courtship. Which 100L guy proposes to a lady? It is actually dating which then progressed into courtship.
Courtship starts when a marraiage proposal is made and accepted. Then, you begin to plan your futures together and generally prepare for the wedding ceremony(ies?). Anything before then will just be friendship (as i would rather call it), dating, boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, etc.

As you like it.

Anyways, the guy knew what he wanted right from then.

We built our relationship towards marriage and not date for dating sake.

As for planning for future, we have been doing that from the very beginning and will do it till death do us part.

I believe the people who are 'dating' seriously and know they will end up together start planning from the very beginning. The proposal might be for formality anyways.

For people who see each other, are ready to marry and have the means, then 2yrs is ok.

coogar: scared? no - respect? yes!
it's a golden rule - you have to respect your opponent. respecting them means planning ahead in case she decides to wild out.....seasoned players see these things before they come and they have a foolproof blueprint that would effect their escape unharmed and uncaught!

babayaro and dwight yorke put the p in playing in their days.....only george best beat their record.

What really do you define as playing?

Are you sure the women were not just interested in having a piece of his flesh and move on?

coogar: i did but it's not true....



you are a fantasist.....
that's the only plausible explanation or you only date secondary school boys. you don't play a player....a player plays you.

And why do you think she can't play a guy?

I don't support playing from either party but to think that only guys play is a fallacy.

Greedy people are actually more susceptible to being conned or duped.

miccodb: truth be said. this for sure is true. i have both been nice and ruthless and belive me i killed more being ruthless.

You refer to having sex with a girl as killing her?

You definitely need some help!

adeyak83: i lyk ur courage.

Courage as in?

Thanks for the compliment anyways

Clazzik: Its kul bt pls wht abt those who started datin frm their tender age of Girl:17 n Boy: 21 till date bt dnt hv money to get married or raise a family...?

Why are you exposing me?

What do you call long courtship?

There is no blanket for all cases.

I meant my fiancé when we were in 100L,

Whether we like it or not, we must date for at least 5yrs (4yrs in school and 1yr NYSC)

let's say we are extremely lucky and we get jobs the day we get our NYSC discharge certificate. Then, we would work at least for a year b/4 we can get married... that's 6yrs. (If there is a delay for one or more year b/4 getting jobs, it increases our courtship years more.)

We were lucky and got jobs 1year after service... We are currently in year 7 and will get married in year 8 by God's grace.

There are however some obvious time wasters especially when both or the man has started working before they meet.

Pataki: I am typing from mobile, hence my laziness to address your post in seriatim. Apologies pls.

The first thing a man should learn in a relationship is to drop his ego and pride. Yes I know it is very difficult to do esp. within the culture and background we come from. While it was easy for the older men generation to get away with their women adoring their ego and making them feel like kings, this next generation - unfortunately it is not so! The days of men sitting in the living room and expecting their sweaty womam to come out from the kitchen with their food - morning, afternoon and night are long gone!

I dare say, a man who knows how to treat woman in sound emotional stability automatically becomes a KING in the woman's eyes. When a woman feels a good vibe from a good man - there is nothing in this world she will not do to make him satisfied. Even to the point of sheer stupidity. A true relationship is about give and take. More importantly, emphasis should be on giving esp. from the man!

Gone are the days of threatening a woman that you will go out and find a better woman. It is only a man who feels insecured that does that. It is only an insecured man that demands for his woman to treat him like a king at home. Immediately he steps out of his home, such a man becomes a world wide wimp (www)!

The most sexxy attribute in a lady is confidence. However, she equally needs a man to boost her confidence the more. If a woman feels that good vibe of confidence boosting from you in all areas, she automatically confides all her emotional insecurities in you. Nothing makes a man more important and 'kingly' other than knowing that your woman cherishes you more than anything because you make her emotionally balanced.

Pataki,

This is so so brilliant.

chaircover: Phew!!! just finished my housework
Baba oyo is somewhat right. Some women think that after marriage the man is going to change for the worse and not be as attentive and so they prefer to have their enjoyment up front before marriage

there is a lot of peer pressure on dating a boyfriend who "performs" so the guy has to be seen to be doing everything or he is not good enough in the eyes of her friends.

Also in the culture that we come from, men are the ones who do all the chasing (if you want to be seen as a "good girl" ) so the man chases chases and chases with all his might and the lady doesnt have to lift a finger.

. . .the irony is that once the chasee has been caught, roles reverse and its the woman who invests all her emotions into the relationship. Very very strange cos i should be 50/50 or close to throughout the relationship

This is classic!

How many husbands are advised to wear G-Strings and prepare hot meals when their wives start beating and cheating on them?

How many husbands are advised to be patient and pray when things go wrong in their homes?

Most women believe that before marriage is their 'time' and they want to enjoy it to the fullest before shakara ends.

ojesoj: you NL ladies and other ladies out there carrying this ideology in ur mindset would ruin ur future with ur husband. because you would find urself competing him at home and trust me no man wants that.......no say ojesoj no tell una ooooooo

Do you compete with your friends?

Remember that everyone knows the kind of life he/she wants and should look for a partner to suit their beliefs.

[quote author=~PreciousBro~] The neck is not the head,the arms ain't either,the head is the head....literally,metaphorically speaking,anyhow you take it.

With that analogy,I'd like to think the man as the Head

Look at it from the biblical angle because,the yardstick to any societal standard is from a religious base, so, what say y'all ?? LoL

Again the body ....yeah like the neck only supports the head,but it can never be the head,the content of the head which is the brain is the key and whole power to everything,so how can the neck move the head when the head says no ?? You figure!!

Men,the world is ours jor!!! sorry girls [/quote]I guess you are really mixing things up.

The Bible is talking about husband/wife relationships.

I doubt you can walk to any random woman and command her to wash your clothes because 'you' rule the world.

As regards marriage, God laid out the duties of husbands and wives. In Christianity, the leader actually is called to serve so there is a balance. One is not more important than the other.