₦airaland Forum

peruso: Plsssssssssssssssss someone should answer this question cuz me I'm a boy and I'm a virgin!!!!! What about me!!!

Jaggiey: The end will justify the means. This is not to encourage any form of abuse or manipulation. For as long as this rite does not result in any sexual molestation/abuse in disguise by the fathers, I think this is not really going to be creepy or bad. What I sense is this: that the parents make effort to consciously drill into the minds of their daughters the virtue of virginity. As these girls experience this rite year in year out, they may get to the point where independently they will see the propriety of keeping themselves and saving their first kisses until the wedding day. Virginity whether we agree or not is virtuous. A nairalander expressed the neglect of the boys in this purification efforts; I must quickly point out that it takes two to tangle. Where the girls uphold this virtue/value, the boys will also be helped to abstain. The likely option for the boys may be sugar mamas or other deflowered girls. This may not really be a large size but overtime, virginity may be restored or upheld by both sexes. Having said this, it is worthy of note to also reiterate the view of another nairalander who stressed the need for parental guidance, monitoring and ensuring their kids' time is well accounted for. Finally, I strongly believe that parents must live by examples; they must keep their families/marriages and abstain from illicit sex, pornography,or any other irresponsible acts. A lion begets a lion; the chance that irresponsible parents will raise irresponsible children may be estimated around 80-90%.God help us!

kaboninc: Do really know what you're saying? Hw can you have a round table talk about issues like this between you, your son and a woman who's not even your daughter in law? There's what they call respect. And by not having such a round table means you have respect.

Pls that advice, I don't go with it. Personally I think the mum is trying to send across a message to her son that she's not comfortable with this arrangement. He has to marry her.

donchris369: Hey, I don't blame you. if your children grow, you can be having meetings with their girlfriend. No wahala. That's for you sha, stop misleading the op, its a big insult. Well no need to argue with you, as you lay your bed so you lie on it.

YoungSalute: @bukatyne.... Thank you o !

YoungSalute: @bukatyne.... Thank you o !

maclatunji: ^Wow, that was something. You are right, no sane man would want another man having that kind of access to his wife. I think people need to understand that marriage goes beyond having that ceremony we call a wedding, it imposes great responsibilities on both parties.

asiwaju: @op,

Maybe i am the old school type,But my mother comes first,no discussion,so please talk to your wife,she should see reason and accept mama as she is,(no disrespectfull tone,dont talk when my mother talk)believe me all problem will be solved.

Asiwaju.

mu2sa2: Pls, pls, pls dont tell off your mum even if u feel she's in the wrong. In our African tradition there is a way to go about it easily - all u need to do is keep your cool and bring in an elder to intervene. The "elder" doesnt hav to be a relation - any reasonable person u know can play that role. If ur mum is the persistent type, u and ur wife just hav to manage her sensibly until ... well, she's no more capable of her meddlesomeness. U will hav to "work" on ur wife seriously to calm her in this delicate situation u ar in. With unswerving patience on ur side, u and ur wife will hav the last laugh. Patience and more patience is what u need most. Goodluck.

debrief08: Sadly most Nigerian women invest al their emotions on their male children making them mini husbands and failing to build their own lives hence the constant dragging.

I love my Sons but the greatest lesson I learnt from my mother in law was to let them be, let then grow don't bubble wrap them, have my own life, have my own interests and love my husband.
Most Nigerian women stay in bad marriages and then transfer all the love for their husband to their sons.

As much as your mother should watch out for you it stops with advice she should trust that she has trained you well enough as a reponsible adult capable of decision making.

If your mother advices you say thank you and make balanced informed decision.
I am a mother and mothers shouldn't seek to make decisions for their kids, we should train them well to stand and decide well on their own

The day I decide to make decision for my son when he is over 18 then that day I admit I have failed as a mother

D sage: @op, since you're not a male, you cannot know how the men feel when they meet a lady they really love especially beautiful one. It's natural my dear.

Men are not to be blame but those women that often demanded materials things with the aim of paying back by sex.

Winneygirl: @Op, filter thru d advises U have received. Evaluate each.

Whether U leave or stay, make sure U hav done wat it takes, 'put in enof efforts', to justify Ur decision.

So dat in d future, U cn say dat U did all dat could be done 2make dat marriage work. Blieve me, it would be hard 2make Ur kids undrstand dat.

moHot: OH AM SO HAPPY, MY GIRL ANNIE SURE DESERVES THIS, NOW I KNOW HE MEANT IT WHEN HE SAID ''NO ONE IS GONNA TAKE YOUR PLACE, GONNA TAKE YOUR SPACE ITS A FACT THAT CANNOT ERASE''

sameolg616: Women,total emotional tinkers..its very obvious annie must have been d most submissive of all his wives.as they say as a man grows older,his dic* makes better wiser decisions.here is d problem annie,for d fact that he has a child or 2 attaching him wit all the other women,he wld surely continue to sleep with ALL as a moment with any of his children with them might spark up sex eg a situation were his daughter aint feeling fine and wants to see her daddy and he has to be wit her and she wants him to stay.RANDY 2face I can bet can't stand d sight of her mum changing into her nite fresh..He must ENTER d PLACE.all u can enjoy is d name MRS IDIBIA..nothin more

miketonic: let me be first one to tell you the truth about men. from the beginning of the relationship, the man knows already weather hes is going to marry the girl he is in relationship or not regardless of the amount of years you guys spend together as a relationship. i think you should focus on completing your education first and support him if he needed. but don't put your hopes up that he will marry you when he get all his paper and degree. that's why most woman are heart broken nowadays because the put too much into the relationship and the get rejected at the end. for example, there was this girl that help me through out me medical school career for 6 years, she gave me money, car, and even shelter, but at the end, i dump her because she wasnt my type.

bennyraz: heaven help those who help themselves. With the help of God and myself. My marriage will be prosperous and fruitful. It wouldn't be the second home of hell.

Mustymohd2: to me any lady i Bleep b4 getin married, true 2 god i wont promise her hnd of married

haibe: are you alright?

maclatunji: It is not a matter of knowing Jesus' (AS) birthday. The question is: why do you need to lie about it? Not only that, sell it to the world as the truth. Jesus never sold that lie- it is you his so called "followers" that are selling it for your own selfish reasons and egos. It is not a problem to me but a problem to you- let it be clear that you are selling deceit to the people.

eazzzy1: If only some of u guys will have the common sense to read the bible well,the part of Jesus denying pple,read same chapter from verse 21. *not everyone that saith unto me Lord Lord,shall enter into the kingdom of heaven.but he that doeth the will of my father which is in heaven.
Tell me how Peaceful it is for a messenger of God to marry his adopted son's wife Besides there is no mention of islam in the bible..we don't acknowledge nobodies.

maclatunji: Hehehe- Burying your head in the sand. Christmas is the largest celebration in the world and it is based on a big fat lie! If you open your eyes and start digging deeper you will know that what you are trying to parry or dismiss matters! I am very tempted to accept that Christianity doesn't matter- why?

Concept of trinity is fundamental to Christianity- we debunk that, Christians will tell you "it doesn't matter."

Christmas is one large fraud- Christians will tell you "it doesn't matter".

Duh! It matters, you have been sold dummies and it is time to stop being dupes and think for yourselves. You cannot build something on nothing. We have proven that your basic belief is not valid, your largest celebration is a fraud, what else do you want to see? Jesus(AS) himself denying you? That will happen too- but don't wait till then because the salvation you seek will then be unattainable!

Hehehehehe!

Don't be bitter, get better!