₦airaland Forum

1920MaMa: [size=14pt][color=#E3319D]my response was based on the scenario. changing a staunch member of deeper-life's mode of dressing. is just like a man asking me to change my mode of dressing to that of MARY AMAKA. e no go work na.[/color][/size]

1920MaMa: [size=14pt][color=#E3319D] sorry, the emphasis is on DEEPER-LIFE COUPLE, not me, as i'm not a member. i know how to look real good, if that's all dat is required of me from a man, then i wud say he has no problem at all! [/color][/size]

1920MaMa: [size=14pt][color=#E3319D]if i were to be in his wife's shoes, i won't! that man is not a true deeper life member, cos we all know how they dress. asking his wife to dress provocatively at home will mean living in deceit cos she'll always be on her toes so no visitor sees her wearing such. moreover, why dress like a whoar at home and look holy holy outside? who are you deceiving?[/color][/size]

1920MaMa: [size=14pt][color=#E3319D] in nigeria were people just turn up at your doorstep uninvited with the story "i was around your neighbourhood, i just thot i shud say hello". so wen she hears a knock on the door, she'd first run into the room to change b4 coming to answer? odikwa serious! [/color][/size]

fellis: Good.
So you find it offensive and rude when someone tries to publicize your sëxual status? Why do you think women don't also find it offensive? Or do you assume that they are not human beings and cannot feel the way you feel?
The Bible talked about some women's virginity status,fine. That does not mean that it is alright to offend women by announcing to the public whether they are sexually active or not. There are other things the Bible talked about like young women's brëasts and men's pënises and spërm but we don't bring these things up in everyday conversations because that would be indecent.
Unless you see an explicit directive making it okay to do something, don't make that thing a rule that should be followed. There is no explicit directory in the Bible making it obligatory or even proper for the virginity status of women to be publicized.

Virgin Finder: All the while I used the precedence laid by the Bible as the basis for me insisting that calling a single man a virgin or declaring his sexxual status is rude and/or offensive.

I repeat, not a single man featured in scripture had their sexxual status premarriage declared even though it was glaring in a number of instances like I mentioned in my previous posts.

Also, my decision to marry a virgin is only a function my chauvinist nature. I believe every man is entitled to deflower at least one woman in his lifetime - his wife (my wish) or some other woman. This I'm yet to achieve. A man cannot be said to have lived a fulfilled sexxx life if He has never deflowered a lady.

Also, virginity is one of the characteristics of a virtuous single lady and not a virtuous wife.

If you had the luxury of choosing a wife for your male relation and you had to choose between a virgin lady and a deflowered lady with both ladies being neck & neck when it comes to being a wife material, wouldn't you gladly choose the virgin?

In fact, 99% of men will choose the virgin.

This scenario can never be vice versa.

It is rude and/or offensive to call a single man a virgin or declare his sexxual status pre marraige like it is done for/with ladies.

1920MaMa: [size=14pt][color=#E3319D]overzealous, you say? [b]if doing those things are ok, why then is she confused? did i hear you say they cudn't discuss it during courtship cos of pastors wives? how cud he wen he already had his plans of changing her, mapped out. is not just changing her looks at home, he shud also consider changing her looks outside. I mean, why go out with your husband looking like MARY AMAKA, while he's busy lusting after that sexy chick at the corner.[/color][/b][/size]

pato405: why ask questions when you already know the answers? didn't she live as a spinster? [b]she ofcourse cooked and did her laundries![/b]or does she expect mi to breastfeed the baby? the only diference here is that I personally wouldn't advocate a strenuous job for a lady, such as, bank jobs where she has to leave 4am and be back 11pm. A job that gets her back before 4-5pm would be okay, or better still, support your lady to have a business of her own. that will afford her some degree of flexibility and time for her home.

pato405: Them go old. Them never see anything yet.

seyron: i tink her husbnd saw her d way she wz b4 marryin her n dt means he wz ok wif her mode of dresin b4, y sud he chng after marriage, if its against d lady's wish 2 go against her blif n d church blif she sudnt do it, d brother don fake tinz 2get her n its gradually b4 u knw it he wil tel her dt dy sud leav deeper lyf, cs deeper lyf ppple dt me i knw dy dont do al dt..d best tin is 4d lady 2confide in matured couples dt r der church memebers n xplan tinz 2dm, or better stil in4m a mutured marriage committee member /mc/ dts wt dy cal it in deeper lyf. Bt sincerely if i wer 2b in d lady's shoe, i wil pray abt it dt God sud touch hm 2av a chng of mind abt wt he ask hm 2b doin, cs i wudnt wnt 2go against God's wil n @d same tym wudnt wnt 2disobey my hubby

1920MaMa: [size=14pt][color=#E3319D]if i were to be in his wife's shoes, i won't! that man is not a true deeper life member, cos we all know how they dress. asking his wife to dress provocatively at home will mean living in deceit cos she'll always be on her toes so no visitor sees her wearing such. moreover, why dress like a whoar at home and look holy holy outside? who are you deceiving?[/color][/size]

trolling: there's a place for a woman who doesnt wanna submit to a God fearing man but in the first place a god fearing man wont even marry her in the first place.
HE said himself that a man shall rule over a woman, now if u cant deal with that you'll deal with it in the afterlife

Virgin Finder: awwwww.at all.you are wrong.

A chauvinist will never force any woman to engage in romantic activities.He won't even beg for it.
If his romantic gesture is turned down, he takes it casually and lightly.No ill feelings.We are somehow proud when it comes to women issues.

Fellis.Fellis.Fellis. How many times did I call you?

I am a born again Christian!!![

Virgin Finder: Mary wasn't the only woman whose virginity was emphasized.
A particular temple-based old woman,Anna, who carried Jesus fresh from birth was said to have lived with her husband '7 years from her virginity'.
What of the virgin that kept old King David warm on his death bed?



Are you now questioning the authority and veracity of the bible?
Weren't some of the authors women?




A man's sexxual status premarriage is a secret because the bible laid down the precedence.

The bible never referred to any man it featured as a virgin or declared their sexxual status premarriage(for those who eventually got married) no matter how glaring it was including our LORD Jesus Christ,John the Baptist, Joseph son of Jacob, Apostle Paul,John the Beloved, Timothy etc
Even modern day popes are never referred to as virgins though they are!!!

I have heard a number of Pastors declare proudly during sermons how they met their wives as virgins on their wedding nights. They never at any time went ahead to disclose their own sexxual status premarriage.


How many women have you seen boast of 'deflowering' their husbands openly?

It is rude and offensive to call a man a virgin or declare the sexxual status of a man premarriage - whether true or false.Chikena.

Virgin Finder: No offence intended.

Its just that feminists have infiltrated virtually sector of the society including the church (through their Pastor husbands) to ensure/preach that biblical injunctions on issues which should apply only to the woman folk like virginity (as a virtue to be expected of and possessed by unmarried females and declared discreetly where and when necessary) and divorce (allowing a man to divorce his wife on the grounds of fornication or adultery and remarry if he pleases while the divorced woman remains single thereafter) are equally applied to the male folk.Very bad!

Feminism is one of the modern day challenges confronting mankind.Rather unfortunate.

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modele2: Your challenge is very real and I chose to reply becos i have experienced a part of it(fortunately not the beating part but the part where he wants you to spend every penny you have).

First take a patience pill. A president is respected not becos of the person he is but the office he occupies. Your husbands attitude may be like po, but becos of his office as husband, still give him respect.

1. Call him regularly, be cheerful on the phone when you call, ask him about his activities nicely and be genuinely interested, Dont NAG about money. You can ask about the household needs when you really really have to. if he refuses, let it be.
2. Thank God you have a job and make do with what you have, dont make your contributions an issue, limit your contributions to what is necessary, no fancy stuff.
3. When he comes around stop the confrontation, since he does not listen and resorts to violence. Make the house as comfortable as possible for him
4. Stop asking about the car, your nagging will not get it for you, as you are doing save towards one if you can and it would stop giving him reasons to annoy you, forget the car is there. He would later wonder why you are not asking and might offer it,a t least for his children school runs.
5. Another problem is the distance, he is not around and cant see how you contribute to the family upkeep, if he has any resonable bone in his body, u could do a cash book of your expenses from time to time and show him.
6. His not being around also means honestly...that u add little value to him in terms of perks of marriage, so try and make up for it when he is around.
7. Find contentment in other things, make the house a nice place for him when he returns, reduce the quarrels as much as u can, peharps he can regard you with more warmth. He would at a point look forward to comming home.
8. Look for support, raising the boys alone is not easy, get help so you can have more time for your self.
9. Then my dear, dont be tired of praying.
10. One day he would come round and you would truly begin to enjoy your marriage. One person has to conscede or play the fool in a quarrel, since it is thou that seeketh peace, then thou must play the fool.

mercylicious: A colleague in d office passed thru dis. Imagine coming to d office wit wounds all over face and having 2 serve customers wit it. At a time, d guy insisted she resigned. He impregnated his girl friend and she moved into d house. U can imagine sharing ur flat wit ur husband's mistress.
She knew it was nt ordinary.
When d thing cleared 4rm d guy's eye, d guy was like wat? Wat r u doing here. Don't u know am a married man wit kids? Please come and start going. He then settled wit d girl's family on d upkeep of d pregnancy and unborne baby. What makes u a strong babe is nt running away 4rm ur husband's house in d name of divorce. Try n solve d problem.

jennykadry: [b]If your OWN husband tells you to your face that you are not valuable to him, you will turn around and say "Oh, I don't think there is anything really wrong in this marriage if we can work together after all he does not beat me "?

Only beating? so from all that she has posted here, the beating part is the only abuse you have seen ehn? oh, there are two sides to every story You and I sit down comfortably in our own husbands house, our husbands are yet to scream and yell at us or even call us unimportant. What work have we done to make sure we get the amount of respect we get right now from our husbands? ABSOULTELY NOTHING EVEN THOUGH WE SAY MARRIAGE IS TOUGH WORK. How many times have you cried to your husband for peace sake? how many times have your husband called you names let alone hit you? yes, we have it going very easy in our marriages, so it is not okay for us to sit behind our computer and say to an abused woman that there is nothing wrong in a marriage where she has worked much more in the few years she has been married than we have in the many years we've been married


Let us remember that some of us have daughters and would not be advising our daughters the way we do here if God forbids a million times they marry eediots as husbands. God forbid my daughter meet these kind of men. I reject it in Jesus name-amen[/b]

@Poster

If you value your life and that of your kids, stay away from that man until he has checked himself into a psych ward and gotten a proper treatment for his mental state because it is only a mentally unstable eediot, that will beat a woman let alone, one who just had CS done.

We Nigerians only choose options that best suits us at a particular time. When is it okay for someone to sit still and endure abuse of any kind? Oh yea, don't follow the white man's mentality, our culture condemns divorce, separation etc. but we enjoy their educational system, their dollars pounds euros etc, we enjoy no interruption of power supply, water without fetching from a neighbour's compound. Let me tell you that even I myself and me will not take care of your children when that man finally sends you to the grave, kpatakpata he will mourn you for 4 days and move on.

Men will only treat you the way you wanno be treated. An abuser will tame himself if he got married to any woman in my family. A man has no respect for his wife and all we can say is "We see nothing wrong in this marriage".

Someone even said "she must have been running her mouth like tap, hence the panelbeating. The one thing that crossed my mind is ....."Why aren't men that believe abuse is okay in some instances being taken proper care of by ALUU community instead of innocent boys?

I weep

Virgin Finder: My opinions are based on biblical precedences Aren't they obvious enough?
Nowhere in the bible was a man's sexxual status pre marriage highlighted or emphasized.
Isn't that foundation good enough for me to draw conclusions on the issue of a lady keeping her virginity till marriage while the man's sexxual status premarriage is offlimits for public consumption/knowledge.

Also, my opinions cannot be based on what the society thinks.Never!

The bible remains the only authority to hold on to as regards all issues that concern mankind.
Infact, the bible is God's manual for man.

Got it?

bjcole: Of course they r women, ashewo is oldest profession in d world, well recorded in d bible, they r there 2 satisfy d extravagance of some men. I m not oblige 2 marry u when i ve slept wit u as much as i wanted, whatelse is it to look 4ward to?

Virgin Finder: I think you are getting things mixed up.

Anybody - virgin or not,single or married - can commit adultery/fornication.

The crux of the matter here is that ladies are expected to remain virgins pre marriage as explicitly stated in the bible while the sexxual status of a man pre marriage remains confidential and a non issue as far as marriage is concerned.
It shouldn't be debated like the woman's sexxual status is.
Nobody is saying a man should not or cannot be chaste!

maclatunji: She's been programmed to believe the comment cannot be true.

Virgin Finder: Only the man in question can choose to declare his sexxual status pre marriage!

@Bolded

Good point!

There are no mistakes in the bible.

Whenever and whereever laws/injuctions were to apply to both sexes, it was clearly stated.

Nowadays, some preachers apply the vice-versa phrase to explicitly stated biblical injunctions that should apply to only one sexx.

Too bad!!!

stillwater: So what is the sweetest gift a man can give to his wife?
I will teach my teenage daughter not to save herself for a freaking husband that more than likely would have humped the whole community, but for her God and her convictions as a Christian!!!!

@topic
I'm not creeped out, although I won't do it. Even the fathers that are demanding such, how innocent are they? I find one TV show where they show kids nude models in the name of sex education in the UK more creepy than this anyway.

Virgin Finder: Taking Joseph and Mary of the bible as case study:

Where was the sexxual status of Joseph pre-marriage mentioned or declared for any reason whatsoever throughout the bible even though he may have never had had sexxx?

Same goes for all the other men of God featured in the bible. At no time was their sexxuality or sexxual status pre marriage declared no matter how glaring it was including our LORD Jesus Christ.

Mary, however, will always be referred to as a virgin till tomorrow.

The bible was always quick to the declare the sexxual status of any woman it featured if she were a virgin pre-marriage.

It is rude and offensive to call a man a virgin - whether true or false. It's never supposed to be mentioned or affirmed vocally.

In the early old testament, any man who didn't meet his wife a virgin on their wedding night was instructed/allowed to meet the fellow who deflowered his wife and demand compensation.
The fellow was also compelled by law to oblige the legitimate husband.It was that serious.The law was from God!!!
That injunction/law had no vice versa.

Virginity is a woman thing!!!

Period.