₦airaland Forum

I think say na woman matter be that.

Your matter is full of complications.I don't even have the time to analyze all.
Your husband was wrong for hitting and accusing you either rightly or wrongly and the only thing you did was cheat on him,look on while your lover's thugs beat and took him away?haba woman!! How do you expect him to believe you aren't involved.and you still work for the same man??
You don't even know your problems,you think going to the village is the issue here?that man may planning on how best to kill you slowly and painfully OR turning your children's mind away from you.he's just using you to take care of them while he saves his money for the day they all will kick you out and start a new life with their father's savings.
Determine what he wants.you can break him by contacting and convincing the one person he trusts and respects.once that person believes you,your husband may become yours again otherwise they are just using you.
Imagine after his detention you still sleep in the same house with him without proper resolution of the problem? The guy get plans and as for you,you get liver well well.

Elegantdiva:
Now let me clear the air! Your father collects your hardearn cash and spends it on bet, he gets into misunderstanding with your neighbors and expts you to join him in ignoring their greetings . He lies and expts you to join him and do the same things. If you are in my shoes,how will you handle it? Keep mute and die in silence or join his footsteps?

Dearie,it's actually annoying and disturbing when parents do/say such to their children. Most fathers want to boss their children but I think the best way is to do the right thing without drawing attentions.let's look at the issues you raised above.
It's a blessing to give him money,so when you give don't bother your pretty head with how he spends it.Every one have their needs,if his is pool or gambling ,that's where mumsie steps in.if you must seek to correct this,reverse psychology would be the best approach.
Lying is morally wrong,it's a sin but I hope you don't say stuffs like"daddy that's a lie"or"it's a lie "when he blows one.when he lies,keep mute.don't continue the discussion,don't argue.you may even excuse yourself but don't rub it in.he's your father remember? Let me share this with you:I once had an argument with my husband and when he realised all odd were against him he blew one white lie like that.na so vex catch me but I managed to maintain sanity though I kept shaking my head and severally said"you know I wouldn't do that,not with you"he understood what I meant and said something like"ok I know that's a lie but..."the gist here is find a way of making him know you're aware he's lying without expressly saying it.
He wants you to fight his fight?cool.greet the people you ought to greet but don't indulge in lengthy discussions with his'enemies' to his knowledge,the man may think you want to spite him.
Generally fathers don't like confrontations and challenges by their children.correct him when he's in a good mood not when he's in action.
Make him happy this evening.cook his favourite dish or any other peace offering.he's wrong but in family issues peace making is paramount.

sleekdot:
What makes you think a lazy woman would be too willing to get on her back also for anyone just to make the money she doesnt want to work for

I didn't get that,would be or wouldn't be? Anyway I'm talking about married men/women.

Miami11:
How about hardworking men that loose everything then hit midlife crisis then give up completely

Every problem/challenge has a root(cause)in this case determining the root of the loss is paramount. But our guy here only speaks good English round town and gets down with any babe that is willing for free(or grammar)

sleekdot:
Good advice also guys stay away from lazy long throat jobless ladies

Yeah it applies to both gender but lazy men are more difficult to manage. The worst a lazy woman would do is to be extravagant and gossipy but lazy man?? He hops from one classless woman to another.

okirewaju:
Too bad

Yes it is risky indeed

Yeah it was so ugly but the poor lady forgave even after hubby and house help assaulted her.Now this... I hope she heals well and on time too.

enieme:
Hmm. There's a diff between lazy joblessness, hardworking but unfruitful joblessness and spiritual cause joblessness.
Depends on which u pick

Abeg define those three types of joblessness, mbok.

okirewaju:
It is a 50-50 thing as i know some persons that this arrangement has worked for.

Well good for them.it didn't work out for this one I know.50-50?then the risk is high.

austine4real:
I want to b ur babe

Oga mi,application too late...

[quote author=austine4real post=41030013]So?[/quote
]
Are you a babe or the man in question?

This is a forewarning to all single career women who are so desperate for marriage that they pick jobless men,thinking they would successfully turn them around.
Sister no matter how hard you try,if he's lazy,he will remain lazy.The most annoying thing about lazy men is that they are extremely sexually active and because they don't have money to spend on better women they settle for cheap sex from their house girls or their neighbour's.
A family friend's wife just left with their 4 kids.I knew he had impregnated their house help,friends rallied round to see that they didn't break up.they made up and even had one more child while she sought for transfer and moved to the state capital to start life afresh.she started like 3 business ventures for him and all folded.his latest mischief is to start dating one of his employees,who practically moved in when his wife moved out.
Now,I know she can comfortably take care of 4 children after all she had always been the bread winner but how will she cope?? My heart goes out to her and countless women out there who had found themselves in such situations.

Whattttt?and I haven't bought my Christmas dress.chai!!

Was it meant to be a surprise?did he let her in immediately after the purchase or did he continue as if nothing happened?

If I hadn't known my husband,I would have been spending anyhow but now I'm compelled to be conservative.it has helped me/us a lot.#thanking God for him

No please don't pin that pregnancy on the wrong guy.trust me,it'll backfire when you least expect it.it will ruin the relationship/marriage.
Let both your boyfriend and his assistant know what's up.you guys can then decide the next step.but babes you try o.sleeping with 2men without protection at the Same time..
But wait I,3 weeks and he's back already.how long ago did he leave?or are you planning of pinning a 3wks pregnancy on someone you aren't sure how he feels about you?nne think am o.

JustHere2Observ:
This whole story doesn't sound like a warning to guys...sounds more like a jealous girl who can't get laid.

Imagine someone else picking and discarding what you can't pick despite several honest attempts!

Acidosis:
You don't marry someone because you LOVE them.


Married couples fall in "love" after wedding oo. Falling in 'love' is a never ending process.

You marry because you are compatible. My advice: get closer to the girl you claim you don't love. Love grows with TIME. There is no such thing as falling in love at FIRST SIGHT. Just spend more time with her, as in quality time and watch that love grow

Sir,sorry for quoting you o but I don't agree with you.
I went back to read about the second lady,Shalewa. OP said he had no feelings for her at all.People that fall in love after marriage are often attracted to each other.a woman's love could easily change in such circumstances especially if you shower her with love and good things of life but a man that is not involved can never be.
I sense that Shalewa is desperate and OP is considering her because she is matured,hardworking and conservative which would've been good if open had little feelings for her(had to check again,open had no feelings at all for her) this I make bold to say that there is no need of moving ahead with her.he should kiss them goodbye.

Dating both of them at the same time tells me something;you are not satisfied with either of them.kiss both of them goodbye and start afresh next year.you must not take a chick home this Christmas abeg.

Dear Mr Hot,are you telling all? There's something you do to make her want to visit you.If she follows you around,it simply means you enjoy her presence though you may have told her off.but you get time o,first day in church and all you noticed were the babes that were dying for you.hmmmm...

I wanted to pass a comment but judging from some reactions up there I dare not! Come o,what did I just do?No be comment I comment so?

So this is how they will'snatch' my son from me someday? No hard feelings,I did same.It's a cycle!

Babe I'll not advice you to marry yet.if you're through with school,it would have been a lot easier.you need to be sure of your future.you haven't even started.Your nce is useful if you secured a BED with it ,you have 5 uncertain years ahead.but let's leave that for now.
Every woman in this present age needs a means of personal income.Every woman ought to have a certain degree of financial independence in marriage.here he pays your fees,clothes you,feeds you,give to your parents as well as his,and he's expected to save up money for further investments ability? Just how comfortable is this guy?
Know this truth today;when a man bears all the financial burden at home,he become callous,sees you as a liability,and whenever he needs advices or has serious financial issues he wouldn't even remember to consult you.why because you don't understand the art of money making.
Marriage is not all about having sexual feelings and getting laid.it comes with so much responsibility and expectations.if you must matter in your home then you must be well equipped.a woman who cannot contribute financially to her home is usually relegated to the background.
You're still young.start planning for marriage as you approach 24,ask him to wait,you can start a family at 25/26.you have a life time to enjoy marriage so why the rush?prepare yourself spiritually,emotionally,psychologically,financially .Marriage starts with a wedding but doesn't end with moving in.there are so many packages attached to it.don't be caught unawares.

Nne na wa o.how long did you date this man that you didn't discover his marital status. Una no do traditional marriage before planning the church wedding? He didn't introduce you to his folks? You gave him how much after discouraging him from collecting money from your dad?2Millar? Nne please naw,this kain lie get as e be na!

pet4ril:
Hmmmmm!!! Am i the only person thinking this is a cooked up story?









Because I don't believe that shit up thete

The cook is a poor one! The story no just done at all at all.

Thrash!!

Every night??

Mr comfortable man,you want me to tell you if you should have an extra marital affair/connecting girls to your equally comfortable friends.okay na! Remember you too have or will have daughters,na so comfortable men go dey pass them around.
You are so comfortable that girls are now approaching you abi?continue.the D day is fast approaching!

Your head there!!

You haven't been living with him so just ignore his ugly side.or you can just write him a letter,tuck it under his pillow.let him know how it hurts you when he says that.remind him how proud you are to be his son and how he's your rock. Until you notice a change try not to argue with him.

Your mom tried o.my mum will start with 950 and give info on all other alternatives if you frown at her haggling style.