₦airaland Forum

Cutehector:
it will not only be better but best if she goes.... I dnt even see a reason why she should stay there when things are really unbalanced... She may not hav anywhr to go but I believe she should just get a boyfrnd or fiance or a job and leav their house for them

gbam!!!

Cutehector:
bcus she is her sister... Maybe they hav resolved d issue.. Pls understand that the op may be only given a pinch of information as regards to the real deal.. All these just ddnt happen in one day...

yes they may have resolved the issue but do you believe some wrongdeeds cannot be undone.they really made noise.wouldn't it be better if the sister goes...

Joniboi:
How is that your business? Mind you business. ..Aproko!

shou! oga take am easy naw.i didn't put my mouth.i didn't even see them much.i'm just wondering why a man would slap his wife because of the SIL and why the woman should take her back knowing well that they may be having an affair...

Cutehector:
He is havn an affair....

I suspected so too but my problem is why accept the sister back when she suspected them.and the slap! you need to hear the sound!

I visited Kaduna last week and had to put up in a friends place for the 4 days i had to spend there.
On the second night her neighbours didn't just allow me sleep.looked like the man transferred a unbelievable sum of money to the wife's sister and madam was demanding for an explaination.they argued fron around 11 pm till 3am when madam packed her sisters bags and took outside because she obviously wasn't satisfied whatever explainations the man came up with.
I dozed off along the line but her quaries woke me again.
" Is she your now your wife " she fumed.i looked at the clock it was 5:30 am.i truly wished i was home.the carried on like that till around 7am and i heard a slap! oh yes i heard the slap.shuo.the man had slapped his wife and she cried out asking him why he had to slap her because of her sister.that was when the sister ran out snd the next second i heard sound of breaking bottle.shs broke bottles and ran after her sister before people dragged her back
"Babes na which kain neighbours you get sef" i asked and she said they hadn't done that before.she confessed that she too wadn't comfortable wth the man's closeness to the SIL.
By the time i left , their friends and folks were coming to beg for the sister to come back to the house but the woman refused only for my friend to call me this afternoon and said "Nne that thing is back o" i didn't immediately catch the vibes until she said "that my neighbour's sister is back to the house"
"Na joke?" i asked
" My sister no be joke o.she came with all her load early this morning"
Abeg what sort of thing is this.i can't understand it.

Atlantian:
Marriage is not natural. What is natural is being with someone when the attraction is there and leaving them when the fire of love is gone, and meeting another person you are attracted to. We are animals, but we tend to think the humanity in us will override our animal instinct. Somehow we will realize that there is much more loving when couples are apart.

i think God made us higher animals for a reason.we are expected to exercise self control in all aspect of our lives.
narrowing it down to mating.it's animalistic to do the un natural which us finding a new mate each time you need companionship.attraction is not love.attraction pulls you and draws you to a person .when this happens , love may or may not evolve.if the partners are not compartible, the attraction wears off and eventually dies but if they are love sets in .this love is nutured and grown by both parties.the growth is fuelled by sacrifices, kindness, patience, tolerance and honesty amongst othet factors...
you see my friend; satisfying your needs for companionship on short term basis with different partners is un-natural but growing the incorruptible seed called love is that which is divine.c'mon love is beautiful! marriage sweet die!!

Tolexander:
the money stolen, aren't you both spending the money?

When woman no longer loves her spouse, that's when you start seeing flimsy excuses like this.

don't mind her.why didn't she cry out the first day he stole the money.very disloyal woman!

may God rest their souls but this is a clear case of over speeding.that accident could have been avoided or had happened with far less inpact.i wonder why people comfortably sit in an over speeding vehicle without reacting.these drivers are mostly deceived by their african insurance
Again what are the relevant authourities doing about the reckless attitude/ parking of trailers and other heavy vehicles.
Rip to the dead...

Cutest001:
We had an argument he smashed my phone on the floor..
When we settled it, I stole his gold chain and sold it
Really petty cos I didn't need the money for anything

are you sure i dont know you.one of my husband's friend's wife came up with a funny story of how she was robbed of her gold and her husband's own.when they asked her what she was doing with his gold chain and pendant, she said she just decided to keep it in her hand bag.i wanted to talk but my husband gave me a sign to keep shut.when the man left i asked my husband why he was hiding the obvious truth. the bobo just shook his head and saaid" nne why do you want to make his wife a liar when he believes her.she that wears her gold chain only to occasions and church services , how can she now waer it on a week day and just put her husband's own in the bag?! i just laughed and minded my businesd

less than 2 years ? and you call her this girl? lets start from the begining.
1: did you properly marry her as in did you at least pay bride price to her folks? if so don't you think it's derogatory to call her "this girl"
2: what's the real issue? is it lack of pregnancy? because two years is short to worry about that.have you sought medical help? what was the outcome? is she under any sort of stress even if it's self inflicted? what has she exactly done and what steps have you taken to make things alright?
3: are you telling us you have been good to her yet she keeps making your life miserable?

Tobenna-- toby for shorts. hope your baby is cute because the only tobenna i know is handsome.
Osisioma--- conotes good seed.p

nicerod:
Names plenty.
Mikel obi.
Ayegbeni yakubu.buharidino,dullardino,dauradullad.usman,alade oniru,ojukwu.uche fanta,chiroro,bende,abutu,ejaigwu. Etc

you got me laughing. chei fanta and chiroro and others.

^^ bless you my sister.i said something like that and see attack.most of them were screaming " leaving and cleaving" as if the term means' kill' the MIL. and most of them are whites.i still don't understand how they view marriage.

the author of "Together for ever" a facebook page posted a write up in which he told men that their mothers are below their wives.ofcourse he got so many reactions for and against it.
personally i think both ( mother and wife) have their roles to play in his life but none is below the other.none should be down played.what do you think?

exercises!!!

then i wouldn't have been.glad i came o.

* procreation
* relieves stress
* guaranteed sleep
* bonding with your hubby
* helps to settle quarell btw oga & madam quicker and more effectively( if you want him to forgive and forget)

F00028:
VERY TRUE ....and I ain't no feminist

cool .i'm not either but that guy failed it there.

an irresponsible man is that man that cannot or will not provide decent food,clothing or shelter to the members of his household...
he's the man that buys 2000 naira beer per night but gives his wife 1500 to make 3 days soup
he's the man that cannot protect his household.any body can speak to( or even beat) his wife and children as they please without thinking twice about him.
he wears nice clothes but his children wear rags.
an irresponsible man is the man that cannot make sacrifices for his wife and children

you've just told us to do nothing which in my opinion is not possible if you love your man.

SeXistBaStaRd:
Madam your opinion doesnt matter

thanks.it shows the kind of a man you are BUT my opinion is very very very crucial! thanks again

my parents did 38 years together till dad passed on last year.they had their fair share of challenges but God saw them through.he died speaking with her...

my parents did 38 years together till dad passed on last year.they gad their fare share of challenges but God saw them through.he died speaking with her...

Women are not created to be exploited.you have a very wrong view of women and i'm tempted to ask if you fell off the mango tree.didn't you notice the strength and the virtues that are deposited in the one who bore you? or was it a he that nutured you.women are assets ;groom , appriciate and invest in us and you will have heaven on earth!
despice us to your detriment.

mrsmith11:
Save what?

Subtract the husband transport and lunch moni then how much do you think will be left from 25k?

How much do you think will be feeding money for 2 mouth per month?

The lady in question will not buy pad for monthly cycle?
Recharge card to call.... e.t.c

he must keep aside some savings even if it's 500 naira monthly
check it out.he marrief her to bear children right .that means she is expected to get pregnant asap right? if he doesn't they may beg for everything including delivery bills
the good thing about such marriages is that they always get financial support from both families especially the man's sisters who pressed him to marry.so while enjoying all gift they receive they must save
also note that it's a miracle how such couple survive.one of my church members gave birth and that drew me closer to them.i was shocked when the wife told me that her husband's salary was 20,000 naira( in 2013 o) and hadn't been paid for like two months( shuo!).my brain could not process the information immediately the only thing i told her was to fashi omugwo and get something doing and God willing a month after she got a 15k job and supports her husband.
so marriages like that enjoy a lot of support but she shoulf lay her hands on something to do for profit but they must save if they want to break even financially.

HeartRobber:
The guy is working, and age is no longer on his side. He's 28years old

From 25k, how much do you think the guy should be giving his wife in a month?

Must he give the wife pocket money every month? Can't he save some money

he has to give the wife pocket money, he must save too..these are factors he must have considered before venturing into marriage.their feeding, clothing, shelter and pregnancy.remember he married to breed male children.

[quote author=mrsmith11 post=36739515][/quote]if he does that what will they invest.they should work with petcentages till and after the wife gets a job.no matter how little they must save plus they must not eat to their satisfaction.

MrsAnyanwu:
na Dentist, I hear ooo

is a dentist not a doctor of teeth ?

ELTON123:
I no go forgive them for what de did to my mom

oh dear, i hope they weren't so rough with her.sometimes i wonder if those police officers have homes/ spouces/ children...so animalistic.... but think of letting it go if you can.

bukatyne:
Which rules says a woman contributes 90% to the making of the home? Is the man not the head? is he not to lead by example? Are you referring to a husband not yet cheating? Why should a woman marry a man that is not trustworthy? And no, not all men cheat.



Preventive prayers? Does the husband pray preventive prayers too? Prayers for the home to continually be sweet yes but specific prayers geared towards adultery? It speaks volumes



It depends on if the wife knew forehand he was a cheat, I do not see the need to cry foul when he begins to manifest true to his nature.

If the man started after marriage, it lies in the hands of the wife however she wants to.

The Bible supports divorce in the instance of adultery so the wife is free to take that route.

i never said nor implied the 90% thing is a new rule.if you cool down and go through it again you will deduce i actually spoke against the fact that the menfolk relax while the women hustle and make sacrifices to see that the home is in tact.
i think the post is about praying about a cheating husband which in my opinion is okay .
peoples' reaction in the face of challenges is based on what they believe.i believe i should pray for him before he even indulges and if he had, i believe i should pray amongst other inputs for him to change.
i don tire for this matter sef.

oh dear!

bukatyne:
@Chidoks and Pamshow,

The problems people have with these kind of advice/prayers is that while we see the husband's unfaithfulness as something evil spirits are behind and target with prayers, why can't husbands also pray for their wives when they cheat or do evil spirits target husbands alone?

And I assure you that the husbands 100% know what they are doing so don't go the 'jazz' stories... even jazz needs a contact (sex/food) to be effective.

The ridiculous instances is when a man spent his youth with various women and drags his empty sick body back to his wife for nursing in the twilight years.

Trust me, if more women start to walk out of cheating marriages, less husbands will be used by the devil.

And yes, the men will always support this line of thought. It gives them the free hand to gallivant without facing the repercussions of their actions.

Yes it's annoying when the woman makes 90% efforts to keep the home in one piece.it's absolutely irritating to know hubby might be indulging though you've not caught him red handed.it's emotionally tasking and stressful for you to wonder if he's having an extra marital affair but in all these what can a godly woman do.
divorce? for me it's not an option.marriage is like any other venture.yoy can make it stand and you can watch it crumble .it all depends on what you want.
i make no excuse for no man.i've never seen where God permitted adultary.no matter who does it; it's 100% wrong.
But the prayer is preventive.to turn the heart of the man to God before he brings home disease, before he brings a demonised woman home, nay before he goes deep into sin..the bible says that the heart of a man is in the king's hand...God turned pharoa's heart strong and in due time turned it soft again.the essence of that prayer is for God to turn the man's heart away from adultary.is that bad? does it mean that men should go on and cheat? no .God forbid.
i still ask, apart from divorce do you have any other suggestion on how to handle an adultrous husband? i truly want to know.thanks.