₦airaland Forum

You can't get a haircut for less than $20 in most major cities in US/Canada.

cristy149:
you are high..in this economy 7k for haircut and i cut my hair twice a month, that's 14k monthly for hair ..even in the U.S the cut hair less than 10$ unless you are a celebrity with a personalized barber

Noise noise. When the time comes now you will be dancing anyhow. Abeg shift.

Godpikin4real:
I love guyz dat are long and have long....
It make me go gaga.

You people should book room 306 and spare us biko.

Zzor:
Good one,be a good boy

Lol. #equality.

Chii59:
Can I pay your groom price?

I think the many negative stories are making him modify but not break his rule.

I also think the rule is sensible. However, he should consider that they met before he went back to the US.

mrssomebody:
Maybe I'm just bothered that he doesn't want to marry her and he is just disguising with that resolution thing. breaking certain rule for people you care about shouldn't be that hard.

Don't patronise betting.

What I read is that he wants her to come as a student not by marriage sponsorship.

That option is better for her as well.

That's all I'm saying.


That

Dijita:
His problem is not marriage. his problem is he does not want to help her because he want her to jump through the hoop. It is a selfish mindset

15 yuan is like N800

Baiser:
Lol.... Yuan no just get value for naija...

Imagine its dollar, maybe u go send covid 19

$15 = #7k

Op did not say he had green card. I asked in an earlier response but he hasn't responded yet.

If she marries him and wants to divorce, in Canada, she can't leave for at least 5 years. In the States, the laws vary from state to state.

Even if OP divorces her, she does not automatically get half.

Does she have an independent support group in the States?

If there's any problem, who will she talk to. Even if there is no problem, just her own friends?

If they do get married and she is pregnant immediately, how will she stop herself from falling into the baby trap where she gives birth 2 or 3 times and never gets the time to develop her own support group, life, etc?

Dijita:
NO it is not . Sponsoring and marry her only cost visa money and plain ticket. With marriage she get green card and can go to school with student loan on her name.
Student visa will require her to be in school and pay tuition. that is a lot of stress

It is not a Nigerian thing and it is not all women.

Then don't marry.

Obviously do not be hypocritical of your wife also gets dessert outside.

Grow a spine, seek full custody of your daughter.

Record conversations between you two. If you have the house, job, means to take care of the daughter, you have a chance.

Also, depending where you are, you may already be a common law union.

Perhaps the guy does not like marriage.

Calling her desperate is uncouth.

Check the law where you are, you may be a common law couple already.

Sex is lovely to feel and does get messy of course.

However, bro every guy wants to have sex with every girl. Understanding this will give some girls clarity and keep them from being shocked and offended when a guy who doesn't find them attractive doesn't try to have sex with them.

I wouldn't pay school fees.

I would sponsor her but not with the idea that by fire by force we will be together forever.

Ideally, she will come and be independent. If our relationship continues to wax strong, awesome, if not, move on.

This was a good article.

This idiot tripled the price of rice to "make a point"?

He doesn't want to be another story that touches. It is not childish at all.

In our parents generation that people like praising for "submissive" women, being in a safe environment brought out their true colours.

pozehnani:
Childish behavior. Why the fend for yourself idea when you plan to marry her?
She should dump you and never look back because your type can make marriage hellish for a woman.

This mentality of yours is so bad and it will make you lose a lot. You better drop it before aze wunyen a gba gi there.

You're being a tad ridiculous.

He said he wants her to come as a student. That is the better option for her too.

mrssomebody:
I'm still trying to get your point...You are just being a gatekeeper and being selfish. Take this issue to people around you and let them tell you how unreasonable you sound because this should never be up for discussion in the first place . Just free the poor woman abeg because u obviously don't love her.

Some would. Many do not want to "date down" and see people who are in Nigeria or without papers as beneath them.

Amanee:
Don't do it

She's not going to appreciate the sacrifices that comes with moving abroad and you're not going to see her as an equal. If you didn't have the principles you have, I'd have said otherwise but you do

Funny enough if the tables were turned would she do same?

This.

However, he and the girl sort of fell in like before he travelled. It would have been a bit callous to just break things off because he travelled.

NoToPile:
@ bolded I would tell my sister same too.

@Cattendra you want her to be her own person and not wait to be sponsored, is it possible to study abroad without any sort of help ( scholarship, loan, whatever ) you will need help even if it's a loan you have to payback.

You have decided you will never sponsor a woman abroad I would suggest you date one abroad(since you are not even sure of marrying her) and she may only want to go abroad only with the assurance of marriage- Personal preferences.

You're looking for someone that is meekly passive to pass through this tough world. Nna, you need a fellow soldier.

Authority is superiority, lol.

pansophist:
Lots of women understands the word "submissive", as "being subordinate", but they are two different things. The latter stands for someone that is lower in rank, has no decisive say, while the former is someone being meekly passive and recognise the authority (not superiority) of someone. A submissive woman still have authorities in other areas of her competence, while the man has his as well.

Encroaching in a man's domain of competence without upholding the duty that comes with it is something so common, and to most men, its a complete turn off. Submissiveness ranks in importance above literacy, wealth, and professionalism for men. Hence, I get where the lawyer is coming from. So yes, I'll rather be with a submissive illiterate woman that will give me peace, than a rich literate professional who will give me everlasting headache.

Wasn't obvious.

Seen the correction.

pansophist:
Obviously a typographical error. Corrected.

Move on.

So women are "lower in rank and have no decisive say".

Wow.

pansophist:
Lots of women understands the word "submissive", as "being subordinate", but they are two different things. The former stands for someone that is lower in rank, has no decisive say, while the latter is someone being meekly passive and recognise the authority (not superiority) of someone. A submissive woman still have authorities in other areas of her competence, while the man has his as well.

Encroaching in a man's domain of competence without upholding the duty that comes with it is something so common, and to most men, its a complete turn off. Submissiveness ranks in importance above literacy, wealth, and professionalism for men. Hence, I get where the lawyer is coming from. So yes, I'll rather be with a submissive illiterate woman that will give me peace, than a rich literate professional who will give me everlasting headache.

Gbam.

Nonexistent2:
This lawyer is still a learner. He will someday realise that bush girls are submissive until they shine eyes and grow wild wings more than literate ladies.

You are not unreasonable.

It is also better for her to come as a student and make her own way. If anything happens, she can stand on her own feet and not be alone.

If the US route is too jampacked, she could study in Canada or even Mexico or the Caribbean (especially if a medical field).

Plus, if you are not yet a permanent resident, you cannot sponsor her as a spouse.

canttedra:
The recent topic on the home page motivated me to make this post, anonymously of course.

We were dating before I left Nigeria. We've been dating for about three years. Sometime last year I got a new job in the US (I schooled there so it was easy), and moved away from the country. Until a few weeks ago, we talked nearly every other day. It's always fun talking to her. But lately, things have started to get a little rough because of something that came up, and which I would like to believe is not my fault.

Prior to dating her, since I was a kid in university, I made myself a few promises relating to women:

1. I will never pay a woman's school fees
2. I will never rent a house or apartment for a woman, nor furnish an existing apartment
3. I will never sponsor a woman abroad.

Of course, this does not mean that I won't buy a woman gifts (I do that regularly), or take her on a nice trip. I just do not envisage myself pulling a woman up the social ladder. I prefer she makes her own growth moves as it relates to finances or relocation.

I made these promises based on the fact that I expected that whomever I make a partner should be able to make something of their own selves. I do not want to be anybody's savior or anyone's get-out-of-jail card. This resolution has made lose a few women in the past who thought the relationship should be based on what they can get out of it, and my girlfriend knows this.

The situation right now is that there is a path for her to come to America through studying. We already talked about her applying for graduate studies and then transitioning here into a better job. However, she now feels that would be stressful and may not work. Instead, she thinks it's better if I return to Nigeria this December to marry her and then sponsor her eventually to the US. That's not going to happen. This has created a rift and we have not been talking for a while now.

Am I being unreasonable here? How can I make her realize she can be her own person and not have to depend on someone else to "sponsor" her? It just drives me nuts that she knows this about me but is now vehemently insisting that this is the only viable option.

The wise learned fellow should go and ask all the married men in the abroad that went to the village to look for 'submissive' girls wey, supposedly, no sabi anything.

Jashub:
This is wisdom. But fools will despise this and starting littering this thread with new forms of stupidity

Married people (and Righteousness89) should come and define the word 'submissive', which is thrown around anyhow.

As for this guy talking about submissive illiterate, I pity you. If you pick a lady because you think she is dumb and docile and controllable, you will cry.

Marry someone you share a mutual respect with.

Are you sure you know what the word 'most' means?

Beauty no be by skin shade na, haba.

Oblongata:
All these ‘yellow yellow’ girls done steal all the fine boys finish, no wonder bleaching cream dey sell