₦airaland Forum

A strong minority are not religious and that number is increasing exponentially.

Anything will na audio.

sinkhole:
I don't see OAU's stand as continuation of the strike as most of the demands they stated has or will be met by the FG!

To each his own. As for me and my conscience, I'm not buying a cow wife and I won't beg anyone to marry.

There is no need for traditional marriage; traditional marriage cannot be enforced legally (there have been constitutional cases at the supreme court); and it is an avenue for jobbing.

This is one of the most ridiculous statements I've ever seen on this forum.

IamD18:
Bride price is bride price regardless of how much you spent. The fact remains that you paid something.

You people should allow Igbos with their traditions. Face yours.

You don't expect Igbos to behave like a particular tribe that accepts 2 cups of red oil and Cameroon pepper of 230 Naira as bride price.

You don't expect Igbos to behave like some tribes where the man will have to take 100+ strokes of cane as bride price.

There are levels to qualities and standard in everything. Igbo women are standard, that's why people leave their tribes where you can marry with just pepper and oil, come down to Igbo land to spend more than half of a million for bride price.

Adaeze and Achalugo nwanyi oma is different from Nwanyi ofe mmanu! The quality is the difference and the difference is the quality.

Some countries actually do this in one form or another. Maybe not for marriage (I think Libya used to do this for marriage) but for having children.

Nigeria does not have the money for this and if we did, the money is better elsewhere.

Exhibit 1 million on why Nigeria has No Future Ambition

Which guy is behind this moniker?

Babara1994:
I'll be turning 40 next tomorrow, but my fear is that I'm a lady and I have no husband at my age.
I had a couple of failed relationships in the past (I must admit my greed and pride caused it).

I really want to know the age menopause sets in and what signs do I look out for, as I'm already consigned to child adoption later in life. I'm really scared. No insults please.

She seems to suggest that all that should be considered is b00bs.

Take people as individuals and all these questions cease to be necessary.

This should show Naija people, men and women, that cheating is unacceptable.

I have an old Fiverr account. I recently found out from a friend that Nigerian gig workers need relatively old abroad-based Fiverr accounts.

Contact me if you do writing, webs design, etc. I am open to a 70 - 30 split. I can remit your money to you in dollars or naira.

AUDIO.

AUDIO.

That picture alone looks like at least N4 to N5 million worth of cattle. She knows what she is doing and is hopefully smiling to her house.

No be you talk say grammar na grammar.

Nna, take another star on me.

superlightning:
*....and the he jumps to another unwarranted logic*

What is the difference between undeveloped countries, like ours, and others? Grammar. Grammar and action.

Shebi somebody said that if you want to hide something from a Nigerian, put it in a book. We cannot continue to affirm that statement.

Next time someone annoys you, fight them. Even if they are bigger than you, even if they are police, fight them, let your nature reign supreme.

superlightning:
keep speaking grammar.

speak grammar when you want to control hunger

speak grammar when you want to control sleep

speak grammar when you want to control urination

speak grammar o

Generalizations notwithstanding (as though there are no asexual people), it will be foolish to allow "nature" to worsen your predicament. We humans are more than our predisposed reactions, we have the ability to think, deduce and predict. A wise man should check whether allowing this nature to dictate his actions will improve or worse his life.

superlightning:
You are just being theoretical here.....there is a limit to everything....it's not about anger, it's about addressing a need. Whether you accept it or not, nature has wired men into prioritizing sex in his marital life, and of course, you can't cheat nature.

LOL. I won't be surprised.

Notwithstanding such a genesis of their union, the current alleged display of cruelty is not the pastor/church's fault.

They are not compatible and the gamble is not paying off.

lefulefu:
from the way he described his marriage its like the marriage was arranged by their church
no dating
no woeing
just a pastor having a vision that this woman is ur wife and u must marry her
when u marry a lady just cos someone told u that God told him in a vision that the woman is ur wife why wont there be problem in ur marriage
una no date to be able to sort out if u both are compactable

Nigeria o. Education, we don't have, food, mba, housing, for where but CHURCH, we full ground!!

The strength of a man is in his ability to control his own life.

Libido cannot be high enough to blind a sensible man and make him use his own hand to defeat himself.

If he cheats and they attempt to divorce, she will have a card to play before a court. The man should be wise. The man, OP, should get legal advice and focus on himself. If and when he feels ready and desirable (fit, happy, with hobbies/interests); he should seek a divorce and flee far away from his toxic marriage.

Perhaps they should have never gotten married in the first place, (how did he not know his wife before marrying her?) he still has control of his life.

superlightning:
sex libido is not a one-size-fits-all for men. It varies. So be fair and considerate in addressing the issue of his sex life. For a high libido man like me, your advice have not addressed my problem if I'm in his shoes.

Like I have stated before, unless she is ill or going through some birth drama (as diagnosed by a clinician), she has no excuse whatsoever to deny her man sex. I personally think she is cheating on him. Ask me how....

There are 5 love languages as we know it. physical touch is only one out of the five. His wife may not be having sex outside marriage, but she might be getting the one or more of the other four outside....and for a lot of women , that's just okay. So it's not surprising to see a woman hasnt had sex for years.

Nothing like marine spirit.

Legally, this is paedophilia.

It takes two to tango.

It's not, in my opinion, a gift given to men by women. Perhaps OP's wife is scarred by sex, either from abuse or childbirth, that is possible.

Regardless, it is not a gift that she gives him, if she or they think that way, there are deeper mindset problems.
EDIT: OP may be terrible at sex but a good loving symbiotic couple can always learn together.

Chii59:
It takes two to tango. I don't subscribe to him going overboard for sex, but then I don't know if that's what he was doing for love during their courtship days. I mean acts of service and giving of gifts.
His wife has a problem. The earlier she knows the better. Good men are scarce. If she throws him out, he'll find a replacement in no time.
How can you give your man sex less than 12 times in a year?

Cheating is not acting like a man.

OP should man up, face his life and his son and forget about his wife for now.

IF he does that, gets more hobbies, gets in shape, meets new people, etc; he can then make a decision with clarity.

degamonn:
I feel pained whenever I see my fellow men being fooled in such a manner. She has realised how weak you are and she's taking advantage of you.

There is no amount of advice that will help you except you help yourself. Stop being excessively nice to her as you can see that that is not the solution to the problem. Collect your vehicle from her, let her buy her own , she has given you the license to cheat, cheat on her and try to let her know of it.
Look, let me tell u, some people will consider my position on this as too harsh and cruel and the try to advice u to sit her down and talk things out with her, I can bet you, that wouldn't make change.
Act like a man and see the end result.

Divorce is an option and a process (you usually have to separate before divorcing).

I will not advise any person, man or woman, to stay in an abusive marriage because of an irrational fear of divorce.

OP's predicament is nothing new, go to reddit.com/r/deadbedrooms, and he will see man, woman after man, woman with the same predicament.

OP should leave his wife's wahala and focus on himself. HE should work out, get other hobbies and meet other friends. The person withholding sex is the only one who can change this kind of situation. OP continuing to try to change the situation, with no reward, will lead to even more mental anguish.

Chii59:
If it is as he says, then he has suffered. I believe divorce should be a last resort, hence, I can only advise him to see a marriage counsellor/therapist. He didn't state she was like that from the beginning, hence, something must have led to it. Some women experience a decline in libido after the first childbirth, which could be as a result of physical or emotional issues, or a combination of both.
She may be feeling dry down there, and of course may feel her vagina will never be as tight as it once was, having pushed a baby out of it. Well, with kegel exercises, she can strengthen her core as well as her vagina muscles.
Or she could even be going through post partum depression, maybe she had a hard labour and as a result the fear of getting pregnant again, women are trying o.
OP, please try to take it easy. As a believer, seek God in prayers as well as schedule a visit to a qualified, licensed therapist.

This guy does not sound like any kind of heart breaker.

He probably married the most 'christian' available.

Ezi1993:
Anyway,,I don't feel pity for any guy that complains of one issue or the other that he may be having with his wife..becos you must have broken a very good Ex's heart and decided to settle for this one....Please enjoy what you paid for...Thank you.

Terrible advice that could be used in court as evidence of infidelity or mental abuse if/when they try to divorce.

tobechi74:
What role do you play in her life?
If financial, withdraw from it. Tell her you need money to service Ashewo.
Come back late, tell her you are coming from a prostitute place

Flirt with girls in her presence,

Do not ask her for sex again.

If she dresses with some part of her body exposed, tell her she is too far or black etc.
You do not find her attractive again.

Intentionally,buy a packet of condom and remove one and place it where she will see it

Place a bigger bra in your bedroom.


https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/04/a-little-fragrance-of-divorce/

Lol.

More gaslighting.

moneyshop:
From people's experiences, most marriages do pass through this stage. After first child, there's always this rejection by the woman in MANY marriages.

I don't want you to see this little challenge as if you're passing through hell... No!

It's a phase that will soon pass. Whatever you do or plan doing, don't cheat on her. That will cause the main problem that you think you have now, and then it'll rain brim stones and fire. Be patient.

Don't follow the advice of any unmarried little kid that will come here to shout "SIMP," overlook them, they'll understand when it gets to their turn.

Keep treating your wife well, don't take the car away from her, don't punish her in any way, so long as it's only sex that is the issue, it'll soon pass.

Try and control your sexual urge, whatever you do at this trying time, will decide how peaceful your home will be. Be cool and handle everything in a matured way, she'll change by herself.

Hear me again bro, this too shall pass. It only needs patience.

Tell me again about no relationship before marriage.

My friend, do not be afraid to separate for irreconcilable reasons.

All her merry go round chores are to distract you.

She may be recovering from abuse, she may dislike sex, she may be scared of pregnancy (although she will likely disturb you for sex if she wants to get pregnant), she may not find you attractive, etc. There are so many reasons but my dear, those reasons are not your business.

The age of consent is 12 in France. What that means is you have to prove that a relationship was not consensual to convict someone of paedophilia if the child was older than 12.

Current President of France was under 18 when he and his drama teacher, now wife, started being acquainted.

Age of consent is 18 in US. Age of consent is a little flexible in Canada (so a 20 year old can date a 17 yr old).

Chii59:
For now... Already they have groups and many of them claim to be born "that way". Quite an uncanny resemblance to how the LGBT movement started. Soon, they'll request to be seen for who they are. They've already started lowering age of consent in North America and Europe from 18-16, and then on, maybe to 14 and much lower.

Dem dey play, una wan kill una sef.

Try now.

He told me he spoke with some people this morning.

coker007:
The person isn't picking his call