₦airaland Forum

See plenty talking back & forth

@OP, my advise to you is that even if this woman gets a job or starts a business to begin supporting you, DO NOT marry her.

She has already shown you what she's capable of when you're at your financial lows.

Someone on the previous page mentioned how most materialistic women are predisposed to cheating. Allow me to modify that and tell you that it's ALL materialistic women who can/will cheat, or have cheated before.

Just ensure you're there for your daughter always, but for her mother, start getting rid of any false idea that she will turn into an angel some day.

The US keeps leaving their mark everywhere they invade and it's hardly a good mark.

China, always with the floods and typhoons.

Obierika:
He was even giving the woman doggy

The guy nor get respect at all, döggy style with person wife.
He was probably slapping & squeezing the ass join as they were doing it.

I almost choked on water while watching that video yesterday...

bukatyne:
Omega ni

He is a true leader who patiently taught me how to accept his gifts of love

I hope he's reading all this, make all this kiss you're sharing no go waste.

Run from who will stress you mehn...

It's peace of mind above culinary skills any day, twice on a weekend.

bukatyne:
Does the Bible have the word 'Bible' or 'masturbation'?

Lol, good one...

Same way there's no mention of the word 'Apple' in the garden.

bukatyne:
Please.

A man wasn't assertive, wife ran amok, man re-invented himself and wife adjusted.

Wife was subservient, husband trampled on her, she woke up and husband conformed.

The scenarios took a lot of work, lots of physiological mind games and both parties still wanting the marriage.

And how is it now with them, are they still doing back & forth or finally found the right measure of dominance?

bukatyne:
Abeg, let's not compare apples with agbalumo.

Have you heard educated Akwa Ibomites speak English? They have this sweet accent.

Lol, Akwa Ibomites ke.
The only sweet English accent I know is British and Australian.

So let me guess, the apple here is a french-speaking man from France, while the agbalumo is a french-speaking man from Senegal.
It's skin colour that is deceiving you.

I bet you won't be able to tell the difference if both french-speaking men spoke through a recording.

bukatyne:
I have actually seen this play out and both parties adjust to the relationship especially when it was previously toxic.

Explain what you mean

mariahAngel:
No matter how you sugarcoat it, there's a very thin line between dominant and domineering, that is, if they don't mean the same thing as you said.

Lol, I did not create the English language. Those who did already contrasted the two words and have drawn parallels between them – I only sought to educate you on the difference.

You can do your own research on it if the idea that it's coming from the moniker Crackhaus is what is making you uncomfortable.

Like I quoted to you the other day,
Your disbelief does not suddenly invalidate a truth/fact, or make it non-existent.

bukatyne:
I was just teasing

I don't do Telemundo, they know nothing about love.

I don't know why people think slow people in love triangles are fun or a depiction of love.

When you talk Turkish movies where the resistance to love is parents, class or health challenges, I am there.

On a serious note, I think there are some languages that are romantic than others. They have richer vocabulary and more expressive.

Tehehe... It's the cinematic effect of movies making you assume this. Don't be racist to your own self

I guess you would say French is a more romantic language than English, but let me trip you up a bit.
French is the official language of some African countries like Senegal and Cote d'Ivoire. Do you still consider French a sexy/romantic language when it is spoken by these Africans or does it only seem sexy/romantic when it's coming from the mouth of a white-skin person living in France?

Also, Equatorial Guinea uses Spanish as their official language, would you say it still sounds sexy/romantic when coming from the mouth of a black man?

bukatyne:
Dominant: Having power or influence over others https://www.google.com/search?q=dominant&oq=dominant+&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l2j69i60l2.14984j1j7&client=ms-android-huawei-rev1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

Domineering: asserts one's will over another in an arrogant way https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-huawei-rev1&ei=vlhPX_S5C5KZ1fAPmIeegAo&q=domineering&oq=domineering&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAMyEAgAELEDEIMBEJECEEYQ-QEyBQgAEJECMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAOgQIABBHOgIIKToHCAAQsQMQQzoECAAQQzoFCAAQsQM6CAgAELEDEIMBOgUILhCxAzoKCAAQkQIQRhD5AToLCAAQsQMQgwEQkQI6CQgAEAoQRhD5AToECAAQClCMrwlY5O0JYJDuCWgCcAN4AIABzQKIAZIUkgEFMi01LjSYAQCgAQHAAQE&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp

Dominance is about influence

The question is 'what degree of influence is ok'?

At the point where the man is influencing his wife against her will and inspite of her objections, then he has moved into the realm of being domineering which is about control, not influence.

Influence and control are another two words that could easily be blurred, but are really very different.

A dominant man is a psychologically astute man, so it will never come off like he is being controlling.

mariahAngel:
Where should I live? Under a bridge you Sun of a beach?

Your answer is what gave me the impression. Lots of single women live alone.

Opinion/permission, same difference.

Not even close...

Is it okay with you if I do this – Permission
What do you think about this – Opinion

mariahAngel:
Define dominant in the context of a "loving relationship"

Easy.

It's just the opposite of submission within the same context of a "loving relationship".

Emphasis on "Love" here, because it makes all of this flow without resistance.

mariahAngel:
When it affect others, I definitely ask for permission.

I have a feeling you live with your parents/siblings.

You should ask for her opinion if the decision would affect her.

Edited. Lol

Whatever decision that comes out of it would have been agreed by both of us, through the discussion that ensued.

mariahAngel:
I don't?

Nope.

You see dominant and it registers as domineering, probably the same way you would see submissive and it registers as servitude.

It's your mindset fuelling these interpretations, no pun intended...

mariahAngel:
Must there be a dominant one in the relationship/marriage?
Is it a contest for power?
They should compliment each other not lord one over the other.
Dominance isn't a good word for marriage. That kind of relationship is toxic.

Take this from me: Asking for your woman's permission does not make you less of a leader. It makes her feel needed and important to you, that you trust her and that her opinion counts. It doesn't threaten your position in her life.

I'm guessing you're at that stage in life where you don't ask for permission from your parents or older siblings? If you don't, why?
Would it make you feel less of an adult if you did?

Why then do you figure it's okay to ask for permission from a partner (male or female), instead of an opinion?

mariahAngel:
A dominant man don't ask for opinions, much less "discussion"

You don't know what that word means then within the context of a loving relationship, it's no wonder you keep conflicting it with domineering.

mariahAngel:
"I'd like to add to the list though, something quite controversial, but a definite alpha trait – a man should only ask for his partner's opinion, never her permission."

Is it OK for a woman to never ask for her man's permission, but just his opinion?

Same difference.

Asking for an opinion leads to a discussion, and whatever outcome is arrived from this process is no longer akin to asking for permission, but rather, reaching a mutually-agreed decision.

Nchenches:
I wonder how those English people deported to Australia beginning 1788 managed to survive Australian snakes.

19 Crimes....

They probably got used to them over time.

LOL, how did this word "domineering" even get introduced to the thread?

I can see "dominant" in the topic and in several other places throughout the article, but never domineering.

These two words are not synonyms, and mean completely different things.

That shït is disgusting.

Lmao.. döggy style for that matter with person wife.
No respect

https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/bstngp.gif

Dtruthspeaker:
Omo withr Nos in the Trunk boosting and pedal to the metal!

0 – 120km/h in 10s.

I can't wait to watch the presidential debates between these two, with my drink in hand of course.

I'm pretty sure I'll be laughing all through – one has a quick wit and razor-sharp tongue without filters, the other can be quite imbecilic with a touch of comedy in the way he speaks.

This kind of snake story can only come out of Australia, a land where humans and snakes can share the house rent peacefully.

bukatyne:
Your addition: Points 7 and 10 takes care of it.

@first part: I agree with you which is why consent as used in mainstream media sounds strange to me in a marital relationship.

@Tone: compare

A Spanish man's drooling: 'Babe wear that pink lingerie for me and lay on the couch by 6pm'

To

'Iya Basira, wo Pata pink yin ko dubule sori kushion titi ago mefa.'

Hahahahahahaha!

A soft tone brings out kolanut from the pocket.

But that's not a difference in tone, just a difference in language... unless you're trying to imply that Spanish men have a more sexy relationship with women than Yoruba men.

Please stop watching Telemundo

With the man in Yoruba, there's a tone with which it can be spoken and he'll still get the desired sexy effect in his woman. Same way the Spanish man could use a dictatorial tone and be met with resistance.

bukatyne:
The article was written for men as a guide to be 'more dominant in their marriages.'

So the men are 'in charge' of the change and change themselves as opposed to the wife 'leading or engineering' the change.

Lol, then perhaps you're referring to a different type of change than the one the guy you quoted was referring to.

As an addendum to the article, I believe dominance to be a natural trait and is more common/easy with certain personality types. Yes it can be learnt, but it won't particularly feel original to a woman who's very observant.

For instance, a woman who met/dated her husband and didn't notice any characteristics of dominance, then all of sudden at one point during their marriage, he probably learns about this stuff and tries to act in accordance... the result will be resistance from her and an eventual cascade of problems, not because she may not like dominant men but because this wasn't the man she married/fell in love with.
Change in this instance is catastrophic.

The solution I believe, is that change, with regards to dominance in marriage, is best achieved outside/precluding the presence of a wife.
For a man who's not naturally dominant but seeks to be so, he ought to develop himself for himself before entering a committed marriage-bound relationship. It is only after this self-development that it becomes imperative to make a choice of spouse strictly among women who would appreciate dominance in their men.

Doing it in reverse will likely be counterproductive, which is how I interpret that number 2 in the article from the author.
Don't start out as a 'yes man' and then try to become dominant afterwards (this is bad for the woman), or start out as a dominant man and then turn into a 'yes man' (this is bad for the man).

bukatyne:


My husband transformed me

He must be an alpha

bukatyne:
They married on my birthday that year!

October 15 babies are confirmed lover girls and lover boys

Let me include the whole October babies (out of love of course!)

Lol, I know you're a lover girl. You didn't even need to mention.

ecstasy357:
Bros why?

Lol, what to do na.

I don't know if he was really expecting females, majority of whom are never quite sure about what/who they want, to make a distinct choice between those two extremes.

These people usually want everything, but at different times and depending on a lot of factors.