₦airaland Forum

newace:
I know he/she is being sarcastic but i have made up my mind to end the marriage.I can't spend the rest of my life with a woman that doesn't listen to me or to her mum or to dr's advise.

bukatyne:
I have gone through the thread which unfortunately has been terribly derailed and message lost.

Sex is marriage is a ten unit course and the major gift God has given spouses to bond.

The more you sleep with someone (especially if there is no soul-tie anywhere and you guys have at least 'likeness' for yourselves), the more the person has your mumu button which makes for a smooth marriage.

Redpillers know that hence they advise men not to have the 'oneitis' sickness aka sleep with only one woman.

This basic truth flies off the head of women today under the umbrella of 'woman emancipation' or freedom hence they teach them 'their boby is theirs in marriage'.

First, both parties should know that sex is a duty in marriage. It is not a matter of he/she is good, I feel like, I don't feel like, withholding to get favors, withdrawing for punishments, blackmailing to insist on my position bla bla bla.

Sex is also about the mindset: if you love someone and want to please then, you will make out time to satisfy them. It might not be romance hot all the time just how food would not turn out right all the time. Also you always reserve strength/resources for whatever is important to you. Sometimes, what the wife is saying is 'you are not my priority, other things are more important than you are' which is a fast way to ruin the marriage. After all, if we believe NL which claims women cheat as much as men, then some of these women denying their husbands sex are giving it hot to someone else and their 24 hours time span has not changed.

However, you would not because you made rice salty today stop eating it. You would keep cooking and cooking till you get it right. The saying 'practice makes perfect' also rings true for sex. You keep teaching your partner how to please you. You also study yourself as your sexual interests change. What turned you on in your 20s would change in your 30s. This is for people especially women who say they stop having sex because he is not good/satisfying them.

Now, sex starts in the kitchen or sitting room (your favorite place) which means that a good loving atmosphere in the home lubricates the sex life of the marriage. While an unfriendly or unromantic man is not an excuse to deny sex, romance and friendliness would make sex more spontaneous and enjoyable. You both bring your feelings and emotions to the table creating fireworks. So men who think no more wooing after marriage, OYO is your case.

There must also be desire for your spouse and this is for women. While some school of thought say you cannot negotiate desire, I believe you can work at it or pray for it to come. Once you have decided to marry Mr. X or Ms. Y, they better become your spec. A marriage where the wife does not desire the husband is a disaster waiting to happen.

Spouses should also be unselfish. Don't be a 'I can collect Mouth Gig but can't give head' type of husband or 'I don't like XYZ) type of wife. As long as what the other party is asking something nor degrading or abnormal to you, then obliged them. Be open to learn new things, listen to their preferences amongst others.

Good hygiene is also important, shave all shaveables, smell good, get rid of disgusting habits, look palatable, clean underwears, boxers, socks etc.

bukatyne:
Those Nollywood type of love stories.

Their moral system is different, outlook to life different, way of life different. It only works where one is very tolerant, ready for serious mindshift and/or open minded.

I also think it works better with man up/woman down snearios.

When asked to comment on his new endorsement, a visibly-elated Oreofeoluwa said “before you buy any land in Abuja, calm down and come to T Pumpy Estate, the developer that cares and your future is assured.”

bukatyne:
@bold:

Very correct.

I think the definition of social class is important on this thread.

Atiku's daughter fresh from school and jobless at home is in a higher 'social class' than Baba Fukanizer's son who grew up in the village currently earning N300k.

Atiku's jobless daughter marrying Fukanizer's son earning N300k monthly is marrying down.

One can still do slightly up or down.

This is taking out God choosing spouses (for those who believe).

bukatyne:
Welcome back.

@za.za999, keep talking to her about it.

Another thing you can do is ask her questions when you guys are in bed since she is responsive. 'Do you want me', 'Am I the one making you feel this way', 'I want to hear you call me my name' bla bla.

At least, you still feel desired.

kukusdot:
What would you guys consider, marrying down or marrying up?
Do you think it matters? Is it something one consider when choosing a spouse?
if you are already in a good position in life and have advanced the social ladder, is it a good idea to marry down?

I'm asking myself all these questions, because I'm a little worried. I have a girlfriend who really is down there in terms of social class. I don't know if I want to marry down. It bothers me a lot.

TonyeBarcanista:
Those against CAMA Amendment are either ill-informed or mischievous.

In sane societies like USA, South Africa, UK, Europe, Australia etc, there are agencies that regulate religious organisations, CSOs and NGOs. Why should Nigeria's be different?

Some people said it is a fight against the church, and I ask, which Church?

If the Bible is right, the Church is the congregation of believers. It is not a building or religious organisation. And believers don't need any formal nomenclature or organisation to worship. The Bible says where two or three are gathered, CHRIST is present. The Bible never said people should establish organisations, neither did the early Christians establish organisations.

Now let's look this....

A man wakes up on a faithful morning, he approaches CAC (Government) to register his organisation, which he names XYZ Church

He lists himself, his wife, Kids or associates as Trustees

He gets certificate from the government to operate...

Yet, he argues with the government that they have no right to regulate the activities of the same organisation that he went to government to register.

He shouts persecution, war against the church and God.

Meanwhile, he is the final authority and CEO in the religious organisation, and won't hesitate to show the exit door to anyone that questions his authority.

The irony is that he abides to similar laws abroad...


As much as I'm not a fan of this administration, I support this CAMA... Although Nigeria politicians are useless

FACT:

FG or any other government cannot regulate the "Church" (congregation of believers). Even the Roman government couldn't regulate the Church.

However, government can only regulate religious organisations (formal organizations) that are registered with the government in line with the constitutional mandate.

The rule is simple, don't register your organisation with government if you don't want to be regulated... Same way you don't register your business and NGO with government if you don't want their regulation...

kunleweb:
She's interested. Don\t let her out of your hands. She has been online all day with fantasies of you and her. Maintain course bro

Fountainofyouth:
A trial will convince you, but nor be me and you abeg.

kunleweb:
Fountainofyouth Crackhaus Both of you come abeg una two. Make una two leave pride aside hook up privately, i love what i feel here,\\\Back me up Viicfuntop

Fountainofyouth:
I looked at your profile pics, really looked at your down below, and I ain't impressed, guys that chest beat nor dey last up to one minute.

kunleweb:
Crackhaus and you need a room. Damn too much repressed energy felt here

ArticleBeast:
How many Isoko people do you know? In Isoko we don't do that instead we marry 2-3 women. We can even marry the three the same day.

kunleweb:
It's just two obvious my guy crackhaus and Fountainofyouth are not just in love but madly in love with one another. If the both of them can leave pride alone and do the needful, the expected could occur. But if for a fling, if this two find themselves in a room, I feel very sorry for the foundation of that building, even the walls will not be spared from the exothermic energy their infusion would produce. O ma bad gan So crackhaus, Fountainofyouth both of you stop playing hard and do the needful.

stupidity:

Here’s my plan. I’ll date you, we’ll have kids and live like married couples. When we get to 60s, 70s, and I discover you are indeed a wife material and you did not mess up, I’ll go pay your bride price and we do our marriage officially. In a grand style. By then sef money go boku. Everywhere good

streetsoldier1:
I tried all I could to save face , just have to end it all after discovering that the single mother I married still contact her ex regularly...
Despite forgiving her several errors even while we got engaged, she still have the guts under my roof to mess up.
Warning guys, never ever marry a single mother that has been messed up!!!
6years was messed up!!!

KingEzo:
Hello Nairalander, please I need your advice. I 31years and my fiancee 29years have been dating for the past four years. she discovered that she's pregnant on new year's eve. we discussed the issue throughout the new year and we agreed to keep the pregnancy that she's going to write her nursing Council exam later. I told her that she should give me some time so that I can go and discuss with my parents and organize introduction then do the engagement in a little way but she said her mom won't be happy with her that she need to do big wedding because she's the first child of her mom. she later told me that she's going to inform her parents before taking any step. to my surprise she called me this evening that she is going to terminate the pregnancy because her family has been raining insult on her since she got home. she said her grandma is even coming to the city with her so that she can terminate the baby. but I told her that I didn't support it that I can't terminate pregnancy, I told her that she can write the the council exam after delivery but she insisted
sir-ma should I support this their action.

Fountainofyouth:
Don't flatter yourself.

Why will I in the name of Lilith imagine how or what you look like, talk more of your "thing" Cleanse your mind abeg.

Fountainofyouth:
I don't try to get your attention, I quote any comment I feel like regardless of whose moniker it is, unlike you,

You live for ignoring me, lol, sounds like you are always conscious of my comments, like its permanently in your mind and head to always look out for fountain of youth and ignore, it sounds more like you think about me every day, who is obsessed now

Pretty sure you're getting a hard on cos of my kind of introversion right? You are enjoying the way you gloat, ride on

sassysure:
Didn't go through her previous posts except the one u posted up there.

If that is the case, why can't she start preparing food again as she does before?

Then go and thank the MIL for helping when she was all burdened over child care( though I don't know how that will stop somebody from preparing food anyway).
Something more than this is the problem.

But, Can't the man prepare sandwiches etc?
Who does that for him when he was single?

@op are u a housewife?