₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
I have read the OP and other adjoining stories and I must admit that 'deadbeat' does not qualify here.

He sure was trying to twist the sneario and I took the bait.

Goodluck to him and family if they exist.

Lol, you've suddenly become cynical

sweetmelanin:
Scary stuff .. but true nonetheless..

Yea

bukatyne:
What were you looking for?

Your pre-marital sexcapade.
The extra bits about your guilt, eventual acceptance, and overall involvement of people helping sort it out, made it so much more fulfilling to read.

BLEMOSEDU:
Bros nobi small thing o, I'm going through similar stuff right now, I provide to the best of my ability for my family, but no sex, it happens only when she wants it mostly once a month, now she requests that I mesmerize her before she will give in.
I've been trying to figure out what she mean by this, though some time ago she listed all the things I must be doing for the sex to happen regularly.
Bros I just give up I have to climb mountain Everest and back just to have sex with her lol.
One thing I found out is women can't be satisfied at all
I have decided to zero my mind on the sex thing o jare.

Just imagine what your own wife is putting you through. Well if you can, perhaps you should invite someone close to talk to you both if you can't get her to change her ways yourself.
I suspect though, you wouldn't want to make your sex life a subject of discussion involving a third party. Personally, I know I wouldn't want anyone trying to lecture me about how to have sex with my own wife.

Your last sentence reflects my personality 100% and I like you're doing the same thing.
She should keep her sex and any day she suddenly decides she wants to make love, it will be your turn to make her jump through hoops before you give in...all this of course is on the assumption that she's not getting it elsewhere.

What people call a 'ghost' is actually the manifestation of a familiar spirit/demon making use of & inhabiting the body of a dead human to materialize in the human world - Without a human host, a demon/familiar spirit cannot experience human life which is something they desire because it gives them form and substance which they otherwise do not possess.

The best way for these spirits to achieve this, is to take hold of and use the earthly/physical body of a human either by demonic possession while the human is yet alive, or by inhabitation after a human dies - the latter is preferred because it grants them total control while in the former, they can be driven out anytime.

It is thus VERY IMPORTANT to perform funeral rites on a dead person to prevent familiar spirits/demons from using their physical essence as a way into the human world. Many religions and cultures do this in various ways.
People who die and are not given their proper rites are usually almost the perfect tools for familiar spirits, because their physical body is not protected against them. There was a story here recently from a guy who said his friend's father had died in the Biafran war but somehow he returned home and continued living with his family - this is a very believable sorry because soldiers who die in battle are either burned completely (cremated) or given proper funeral rites if their remains cannot be transported back to family, this is a common practise everywhere in the world. It is possible the Biafran soldier in that story wasn't given any of those.

'Cremation' used to be one of the most effective methods of preventing inhabitation by familiar spirits/demons in ancient history, although it is becoming more popular.

As far as ghosts go, what you can see with human eyes is the actual physical form of a dead person, but make no mistake, the entity powering that body is a familiar spirit/demon and NOT the actual soul of the human.

ebyjoyken:
I spend more time with the kids than he does. When we got married, he asked me to live in the village with his mum and sister my parents refused and asked him to get an apartment for me in the city. Which he later did. Since then he hated my family for challenging him.

If that's the case, then you even have more possibility of turning them against him if you wanted
You have no problem.

As for his relationship with your family - since you have been okay with the status quo for the last 10yrs and never tried to initiate a reconciliation between them, then continue being okay with it.

I don't know how you expect to deal with a 10yr old grudge overnight. I suspect this might even be the cause of your recent disagreements.

bukatyne:
His brothers attended on whose instructions?

Probably his, and perhaps he also extended his condolences through them.
The story is still opening up little by little

ebyjoyken:
He didn't attend my dad's burial, he wasn't around. His brothers attended on his behalf. I am not trying to be the victim. I just wrote it as it is. He doesn't like my family, i have asked him several why he doesn't like my family. He gave no response.

This one is not something anyone here can help you with. If you don't know why your husband does not like your family after 10yrs, to the extent he did not call to share his condolences when his own father-in-law died, then OYO for you. It's obvious that whatever is between them is very serious yet you're claiming no knowledge of it.
You have definitely been perfectly okay with the bad-blood for that long, because according to you, there has never been any serious issue between both of you - meaning you never saw this as an issue or brought it up as one.


As for trying to turn your kids against you, like I noted before, this is not good but you still haven't shared the disagreements that lead to this or how it is you challenge him.

Who spends more time with the children and who are they closer to?
You or your husband?

First of all, not calling your family to share his condolences is very odd if everything was alright between himself and your family, very odd.

Does this mean he did not attend the burial of your late father as well?

You also stated that both of you have never had any serious issues. Well, this is a misleading claim to make considering that something serious definitely changed/happened recently to make him start threatening to get the children to challenge & be rude to you - this is not a good thing also, but context is important.

My advise is that you keep your story straight and share exactly what you know is going on.
I understand why you would feel the need to construct the story in such a way as to make yourself a victimized and guiltless bystander in the matter, but unless your goal is to get your husband bashed by the usual suspects, then I don't see what your aim here is.

Lol, he did not even need to add that update to clarify.
Some of us already saw it clearly from the beginning, hence my quote to Miarose, a female for that matter who made the first observation on the thread.

Popular opinions perpetuated by herd mentality are hardly known to come from an intellectual standpoint because for it to be popular and widespread, it means more stvpid people are a part of it. There are more stvpid people than intuitive discerning people in the world as a whole.

I personally enjoyed reading the usual group of posters make a complete fool of themselves on that thread with blinded ignorant opinions.
Even after he clarified, some of them continue in their ignorance because the idea of a son choosing to reconcile with a father who treated the mother unfairly, hurts them to the bones.
And they probably think they don't need therapy for their fvcked up mentalities. Pity.

hooha:
Dealing with seductive spirit is good for a lady suffering from the crisis of people eager to sleep with her, but never wanting to date her. Some ladies go through this issue, and it could be heartbreaking at the later stage of their life; when they are set to marry, and all what guys want from them is sex.

I don't even mean sex while dating, which is wrong, but I mean people wanting to sleep with you alone and never wishing or wanting to date you. So no matter how you cook, dress, even dress decently, behave nicely, and so on, every guy or most guys see you as someone that will be sweet in bed. It is indeed terrible!!.

I will advise such ladies to pray and fast against the spirit of seduction in them. This kind of fasting may be for 7 days, with reading of the Bible and much prayers.

And to think your moniker is hooha, a slang for vagína.

Is it not prayer and fasting you need also?

luminouz:
Now you see why I most times ignore some comments? Most People here are incapable of well grounded logic. Is it frustration,bile,anger or some emotional bullcrap that drive their thoughts,I dont know. But they just can't reason without clouding their judgement with emotions.

You and the Mia bloke can see well. I'm glad people like us are not extinct on NL.

It's astounding

AngelicBeing:

What for?

bukatyne:
Another angle which would fit into my scenario 1.

It's not ANOTHER angle Buka, it is the ONLY angle.
The OP made it clear that this was a reconciliation after 6yrs.

If he's 26 now, he was 20 when he made the decision on his own to stop talking to his father - this probably has nothing to do with the mum.

Too many nairalanders make comments based off an idea gotten from comments of other users instead of just reading posts from the person sharing his story to form their own thoughts.

Miarose:
So OP contacted his dad and apologized as seen from the chat. Well, maybe he wasn't abandoned.. maybe OP did the abandoning.
Also, he said he is 26 and haven't spoken to the dad in 6 yrs, since his 200 level. So the dad was in his life up until he was 20 yrs.
I guess it's a Tiff between him and his dad. Not as deep as abandonment as an infant. Not a deadbeat dad if he was there till ur 20s.

You're probably one of the only ones here who actually has working neurons in the brain. I've been following this since yesterday and wondering why people were antagonizing the OP.

This one is not alright
https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/idjut.gif

MisterKings:
Abi…? For their mind now they are actors. Hollywood actors will most likely sound the same. They will be like

Omotola who the Bleep is that? Oh she is that actress from the concrete jungle, yea?

Lol, I respect their hussle anyway.
Money must be made

UyaiIncomparabl:
You don see person wey don support your silly antics. Now, see you giggling all over.

Carry your naked body soaked in scented coconut oil come this side abeg and watch me roll over to kiss your feet.

I no dey for all this your plenty talks

Mariangeles:
You forgot the part where they shout in the name of acting...

In their mind, it's for emphasis.

Always over-acting.

sassysure:
On I love you I love you, I agree with u here. Who I love you eep
Has been misleading women for ages. I can't live without u, I love you,bla bla bla.
Real men got no time for sermon
Access them by their actions. Infact, if u come with I love you, I will run without looking back.
I love you means your pant for ground. We never learn.

I learnt this from what I love you did to babes around me, the thing dey scatter their brain and they keep on making mistakes until their eyes go clear.
Our girls read too much romance novels

To be honest, this kind of woman in the OP is exactly the type of married woman sharp guys are looking for. Very needy, emotionally unstable, and easy to fvck silly. I know her type, dem plenty for Lekki-Epe and environs.
They are even ready to start spending husband's money on guys who won't mind shouting all the 'I love you' they want to hear while destroying the punáni without mercy. Some of them will tell you their husband is cheating, so why can't they... Ode.

This one dey find 'I love you' like university student according to lilmax
If a man is still showing concern towards the financial affairs and education of his wife even after 5years and multiple births, then its because there is love and genuine care there.

bukatyne:
@Bold: True, I should have seen that

'I love you' is one of the most cheaply thrown phrases and if not backed it actions (not sex) and/or uttered at the person's lowest points, it is freaking empty and means nothing.

The OP should indeed do better.

And this is what I have been all about here.
Perhaps I was a little harsh in my delivery, but I can't suffer nincompoops even if I tried.

bukatyne:
Ogini?



@Bold:

I can't relate.

@ the OP: There is a guilt that comes with extra-martial sex if you have an active conscience.

It really hit me one Holy Communion service after NYSC where I wept like a babe in church and confessed all my sins and decided to end my relationship of 6yrs plus.

Thank God for the wise elders whom surrounded me. When I told my cos the blunder I had done ending my relationship, he quickly told me to reconcile and advise what to do.

A pastor who was serious on keeping the marriage bed undefiled told me in clear terms that what we needed was a job so we could get married asap.

His own pastor too gave very good counsel and it was beautiful in the end.

I like this woman, she will hardly disappoint...

Didn't I say I want to read your own?
Na so jor.

Come to think of it, majority of them in the Nollywood industry including Omotola, do they seriously consider themselves actors and actresses with all the type-casting, monotonous lines, and bland facial expressions?

Very funny.

I want to read what Bukatyne is going to type.

UyaiIncomparabl:
WTF are you that I should happy for your attention?

Who the brown fvck are you that I should be rolling over & kissing your feet?

UyaiIncomparabl:
Yes, you were.

Yea maybe if you called me a clown while completely naked and oiled up in front of me, I might consider rolling over. No guarantees still.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Keep replying me word for word. You go tire.

Like you're not happy you have my full attention

UyaiIncomparabl:
Yes na. Why are you offended?

You think I'm offended because I called you a buffoon in response?

Was I supposed to roll over and kiss your feet

UyaiIncomparabl:
I no know why that my comment just dey pain you.

The utter stvpidity of the comment hurt my senses, that's the pain I felt.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Can you say this to my face?

Absolutely, after you call me a clown to my face.

UyaiIncomparabl:
You need medical help, and with alacrity. I fear that you may go bunkers soon.

Medical help for saying AMEN to your prayers to never meet a hunk like me in your life?

It's your prayer na, I only answered for you.
Maybe you're the one who needs help.

stupidity:
I saw my colleague watching this American series “modern family”.

I only watched a scene where this little girl came into the living room and asked “daddy, where’s daddy?”


I was still for some seconds trying to understand what I just heard!!


Is there really a family out there that consist of “a man, another man and their kid(s)

I know it’s adopted kids for sure but


Doesn’t such arrangement corrupt that little girl’s mind/reasoning forever?

It does, they will never admit it but it does.

For starters, she won't be celebrating Mother's Day like her friends do in school.