₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
Lol. Welcome to our world.

First, When will you marry?

You marry finish next is "when will you have a baby?"

So annoying. When someone says to you I don't think I want another child must you keep going on and on about it? And be quizzing me on how weird having two children is? Even kept hammering on what are my hubby's thoughts? Woman leave me alone.

I have friends that got married around the same time as me and are TTC I NEVER bring it up. I just pray for them in my closet and ask God to intervene if there are issues.

Not my words but how I feel today. What is with people asking other people intrusive questions or deciding when your child needs an aburo( younger sibling) geeez *rolling eye*

kaboninc:
Yes, we're in a long and gradual process.

As the new government takes over, I hope to see a country where criticisms are objective rather than insulting, destructive and subjective. I hope to see where the opposition criticises a policy AND proffer a solution.

Probably that will help to usher in a robust brand of debates all centred on purposeful governance. Politics anywhere is not perfect but ours.....

I hope so too.. We will get there eventually.


Happy Friday everyone.. Bank Holiday weekend woooohooo marathon Sunday night of catching up with Empire,Scandal,How to Get Away with Murder,Stalker ( I sound sad abi ) but I don't care

R231 any owambe for me

babyosisi:
No, my husband doesn't say a hearty thank you after eating,he says it occasionally and I appreciate when he does but I have never and will never demand a thank you from him for cooking or serving his meal.
It's not a big deal .
For your wife to attach so much importance to this,I see bigger issues here
I am also certain she is very demanding in other areas
This almost sounds insane,a woman demanding a thank you for cooking?
There is nothing I won't hear.
In case you are wondering,this is not normal o, have never heard this sort of thing ever in my life up till this moment and I have heard a lot of stories,this your situation is quite rare.
You must be walking on egg shells around the woman
What other rules and regulations has she given you?
If she can be this militant at home, I feel sorry for any subordinates she may have at the workplace

Na wa for all this kain protocol o.
I say thank you to everyone and for everything as I am just too used to it. I even say thank you when you give me my change. I insist my kids say thank you whenever you give them something but sometimes I give them biscuit and overexcitement go catch them they eat it and I just give them an eye and they say thank you .Even that I am trying to chill a bit sef.


But I cant imagine mandating that my husband says it every single time I cook. I am not even physically there when he eats food I cooked sometimes. So if he takes lunch that I cooked to work he has to text or call to say thank you. Anyway diff strokes for diff folks.

OP I must also ask though are you a naturally uncourteous person? As in not just the food issue but do you do find hard to say thank you,please and am sorry on other issues cos I find it hard to believe that someone will nag cos her husband did not say thank you after every meal she cooked.

kaboninc:
Please eh,

Can you please package the spirit of purposeful desire for effective leadership as witnessed in the upcoming UK elections into a small box and send it down to us here in Nigeria through DHL or FedEx or Chisco?

Where both incumbent and aspiring leaders come together to tell us, how their ideas will take us to heaven while we fly with our flesh? I tell you, it is in dire need over here.

We missed that opportunity in our recently concluded election here in Nigeria but we (personally I) would be grateful if we can start now to inculcate these ideals, cultures into our national life.

Thanks.

Worried Patriotic Nigerian

Bro its a loooooong and gradual process.

No political climate is absolutely perfect and even the UK electoral process still gets its fair bit of criticism. They have also had their own share
of political mudslinging and the likes. Just yesterday David Cameron called Ed Milliband a joke for granting an interview to Russell Brand.
Your line 'how their ideas will take us to heaven while we fly with our flesh' is kind of apt for all the manifesto promises that we have heard so far sef cos none of them are going to have a majority and so they will all have to go into that 'dark room' that the two likely prime ministers dissed so much yesterday.

I do believe the last election in Nigeria though not perfect is a (tiny baby one if I may add) step towards that robust and result oriented democracy that we all so desire. I personally liked the fact that we were able to dispel that annoying 'power of incumbency' ish. The government serves at the pleasure of the people so NO elected political office holder should ever feel that his job security is not tied to the electorate but by the seat he occupies. The deputy prime minister got asked yesterday if he was already looking for another job and that is how it should be. if his consistuency don't vote him yes he does not have a job come next Friday.

EfemenaXY:
Oh dear. Ed Miliband is being whipped on Question time..
CC: Naijababe, edwife, R231, Damiso...

Seriously... Na serious matter this audience is soo Tory i almost feel sorry for him

The overspending questions just finished him.Thats the main problem he has people don't trust labour with the economy.

cococandy:
This looks really really nice.
What did you use to roast it? Oven? .

The Plantain in the grill ( the cooker grill) and the fish was in the oven

Ewuro4:
Yum! Dami all these boli you're sharin

Thanks sis.. Abi trying to stay off deep fried food but I love plantain so boli is the next go to thing.

all4naija:
Nice one! I have a problem with hot pepper, although, very rich in vitamin B. It is like a poison to my body system.

Was not that hot.Bell peppers are not really hot(but I am biased sha I love hot food)

EfemenaXY:
Nice!

How did you prepare your tilapia? And did you roast your plantain over the gas cooker?

No I used the grill for the plantain... I overdid it a bit though as I was busy doing bedtime stories would have prefered not as charred as that but it was still ok.

I baked the tilapia in the oven. Seasoned it with some herbs and spices wrapped in foil and put it in the oven.

Am very lazy on weekday evenings so tend to make a lot of chuck in the oven or grill meals

Hallo everyone not been here in a while.. Roast plantain (boli) and diced peppers with baked tilapia

tearoses:
Awww thanks babes
Shhhhhhh
This is tearoses a new NLander

Ewuro4, Damiso, Tayour & my sisters from another mother
and everyone else, hope you are all good
((hugs))

Naijababe I will fight you o why are you trying to usurp my position

Tearoses don't mind naijababe she is a coup plotter.the lady called chaircover officially handed over to me so please you pay the £500 to moi

tearoses:
Hello Everyone
Hope you are all good
Thanks to all that asked after me
I am back as promised but, due to other constraints it may not be like before
Missed you all

Is tearoses Madam Chaircover I guess so cos she loves gardening


Welcome back we missed you too.

I think I need to deactivate and come back with a ' posh' monica abi is it 'moniker' this my damiso is just seeming too razz with all the recent reincarnations we have on here.

Op your wife needs to try to learn how to make your family decisions come across to her family as 'we' and not 'I' or 'he'. Very important.

Let her not fall for this emotional blackmail.execpt they don't love their daughter or sister she needs to register her displeasure by punishing this unacceptable behaviour. They will make up later.

Ewuro4:
Aghhh...Throw them in a soaker tub, filled with warm water and non toxic degreaser.

Damiso oya

these toddlers ehn.. all things my son can do .

Ewuro4:
I'm guilty of that too. I tell them you know "I will not MMOB until you get something going for you". the tough love we are sharin.

Was at the spelling bee with madam weeks ago and met a lady at the concession , we introduced ourselves over coffee and discussed kids, she's from Middle East and she told me how she stayed home for 5years with her kid, and worked from home same time. This engineer raised their 20% of their mortgage down payment from her savings. I was wowed.

Real tough love I wonder why they were all panicking sef.They should all know me well enough to know that I like money too much to do it indefinitely naa

Ewuro4:
I always ask visibly frustrated moms that esp when they start to sweat profusely while the baby wails

Ain't carrying no toddler around nowhere

No this was more my family and friends. Did not mind my family asking but some of my friends was in a sort of condescending way that make I no lie used to annoy the heck out of me. If I am not asking you for money for pampers/brazillian hair wetin be your own naa or the ones that use to say 'haaa your hubby is trying in this UK paying all the bills'grr MYOB .I even told one who said 'Haa thank God you are back at work you are too smart to be a stay at home mum' *rolls eyes* 'so you mean all stay at home mums are dumb abi besides if you did not know I wanted to stay home at that time' Count that period as my career break or time off( as we kuku don't have a year out in Naija unis this omo gal has been working non stop from since when i finished University ejoor .

Awwwww TV01 that picture is making my uterus hurt she is soooo cute. I love the baby stage but having just finished the horrors of potty training i don't want to go down that route ever again. Naijababe is right though about keeping skills relevant by working part time. That's one of the reasons i went back to work, the longer there is a gap in your CV the harder it is to get back in the labour market. Thank God for Grace but i know how hard it was with just 2 years. Preferably sef she should stay in the same organisation cos getting a'suitable'( except you want to stack shelves in Tesco) part time job from the outside is sooooooo hard. Its easier for a mum who has worked fulltime in an organisiation to request for part time or flexi hours than getting a part time job from the outside. I ideally wanted to go back part time but i had no luck getting the kind of job with the pay that would have made going back worthwhile. What sold it for me a bit in my current organisiation was flexi time and the work from Home option. I still will always put being there for my family first even before money before taking a job.

Saucepan interesting perspective. You are right but OP needs to have an interest or flair in teaching sha cos the hours should not just be the main reason.

naijababe:
My first ML was only 2 months long, I had only just gotten my dream job in a cutthroat company, there was no room to entertain my sentiments however strong. My second was 1yr long and I enjoyed every bit of being a lazy 'alabodo' wife o

Me and you both Most days sha don't let me lie cos some days with a over active toddler can be more emotionally and physically draining than going to work. It also did not help when people kept asking me 'When are you going back to work'

Ewuro4:
Oh please...Your wife is on mat leave. How's that princess doing?

Again, Nobody cares bout their (SAHM) choices, as long as she's not IDLE and have something to fall back on like Naijababe said. Just DO something.

I was home too for each child and literally almost rip my all braids out.
The overpriced jogging stroller, YWCA new mommy group(all we did was gossip) , swimming lesson for tots, eat at the food court with new moms like a gorilla(excuse to pack fat) ... Been there done than , worn the T-shirt.

They all went to daycare at 10months when I realized the braids in back of my head are all gone.

Ciao.

You know the drill I can bet like 80% were oyinbo. I used to get bored at all those mother and toddler groups esp where there was already a 'clique'.Ther contributions to the sales of Costa and Starbucks is almost as much as the working proffessionals

Can you get in contact with Social Care or Welfare department of the LGA? There should be an Agege LGA right? Oris it Ajeromi Ifelodun( my lagos geography is quite rusty).

That mother and child need help FAST.

This is real ota aje like my mum would say.

Na wa o. Its a bit funny sha

Ralphlauren:
spot on !

that nursing thing does my head in. it is very common in the US. honestly, i blame some women though. you need to put ya foot down and insist on what career path you need to take.

a friend once turned down the advances from a man based in the US because he made it perfectly clear that she would have to take up a nursing degree and become a nurse once she steps in the US. she tried to make this dude see reason that she had zero passion for nursing but the guy wont budge, so she quickly walked away. this is a lady who at the time was studying civil engineering.

today, she is happily married and works with Balfour Beatty PLC in the UK.

i agree with you 100% that the talk of teachers working less hours is nothing but a myth. you can have a well paid bank job and work 9am-5pm and not take a piece of paperwork home to continue any work. my opinion on the the craze to push every mother into ''business and teaching'' is a post for another day. one thing i will point out is teaching and entrepreneurship is NOT for everyone.

I remember how the first thing my mums friend said to me when I got to the UK was to go and study nursing and get a care assistant job while studying. Now don't get me wrong, I have maximum respect for not even nurses alone but even the care assistants as I feel anyone who takes on the role of caring for the most vulnerable people in society is to be admired(in my opinion sef they don't get paid enough) but it has to be something you enjoy doing. I cant cope with seeing people in pain and I would be totally useless in some certain scenarios where you are needed to support and help your patient. She felt I was being choosy but I just knew that nursing was just not for me. And I know she meant well because nursing is a profession that would always be in demand but I am just not cut out for it.

I can never forget one of the midwives who delivered my daughter she was just sooo wonderful.I cant even begin to relate how wonderful she was. Her shift ended and she said she was going nowhere until baby got here ( after pulling a 12 hr night shift) now that is passion for what she does. When hubby went to give her flowers, a thank you card and a bottle of wine she said he shouldn't have as she was just doing her job and nothing makes her more happy than bringing another child into the world.

See a trained child-minder or nanny who genuinely loves children in action and you would wonder how they are able to get the most aggravating tantrum prone toddler to do their bidding with minimum effort. There is this key worker in my sons nursery I cant believe that she is talking about my own son when she talks about him but the passion is so obviously there.

I think the actual career path one is willing to take is an individual and reaching the top of your career means different things to different people. And to some people its not even about the pay or prestige associated to that career path.

mavany:
The way people decided to gatecrash into the teaching career is dangerous for this country. Its so obvious that most teachers don't like their jobs because they have no passion for it , and are just doing it cos it gives them more time or they haven't found jobs in their career path. This tells on the students or pupils being taught .We should stop all this advice we give to women to go into education just because it gives them more time for Kids. The teaching profession should be left for professionals who had chosen it from start and are well prepared and equipped to handle the challenges that come with teaching.

I agree teaching is a vocation and not everyone is good at it.Same way I think people should stop advising women who moved to the west to 'go and do nursing'.You have to genuinely have a passion for it to excel at it. And the less hours are a myth because really good teachers go far above and beyond and even take their work home with them.

I respect and doff my hat to all the wonderful teachers out there who are helping to educate the next generation.

Ralphlauren:
lmaoooooo

Okay oh

Yes naa like she said you must have been reading a different Ewuro

Teaching is a noble proffession o see the way you guys have finished teachers Who will teach the future geologists and engineers ABC first naa

However i agree that like nursing and other caring professions it should be a career you go into not because of money or the hours but because you genuinely have an interest or calling.Thats why some teachers suck at their job because they never had an interest but just went into it because of the hours.And why some nurses are very faaaar from caring because they went into it because they were told nurses get paid well in the west


I defend stay at home mums because people stay at home for different reasons at different points in their life and I think it's a bit unfair to judge or label them all as lazy or lacking ambition etc.I generally think we women like to unfairly judge people who might have made choices that were different from ours.

Being a stay at home mum is not even something i really saw while growing up in Nigeria.All and I mean ALL the adult women around me while growing up had jobs (Careers) or businesses or both like my own mother. At the worst end of the spectrum they had a shop by the house selling coke and chin chin but to be SOLELY dependent on the man was an exception not the norm.

I could feel my mums sigh of relief when I went back to work She honestly could not understand why I decided to stay at home for two years.She still does not even get the 9 months maternity leave that we get in the UK.The fact that I chose to even bewildered her more I must say that the fact that she knew I was studying and still earning a lil income by the side made it a bit more bearable for her.She still wanted me to work though cos she did all three at a point in her life.


It's an oyinbo concept I.e soccer mums. More oyinbos CHOOSE to do it than African women.So my people don't worry.
Naija women esp are born hustlers.

Ralphlauren:
i have seen some of your 'fights' with the men on this section, so i just labelled you as 'oni wahala'

I thot you were the posterlady for 'sit-at-home-mums'. my bad ! must have gotten you mixed up with some other poster

that would be me

Ewuro4 and Dayokanu hate alabodos as they call them with a passion

Ralphlauren:
damiso, taking time off from work (one day to a week) to take care of a sick child is different from giving up your career entirely to raise a child.

in as much as you might get the 'stare' from your employer anytime you give 'child care' reasons for not coming to work or coming in late, trust me they understand.

the mothers they have issues with are those not pulling their weight in the workplace. if you know your onions well, the business will actually 'bend' for you.

heck! i know mothers that work few days a week (3days) and attend meetings via skype from the comfort of their homes and trust me, their input to the organisation is immeasurable.

besides, parenting is a joint effort. if the man has a more flexible job, then he has to do the school runs, attend all the PTA meetings, etc. however, some men do not want to get involved. they are happy to push their wives to ''teaching jobs'' under the guise of ''taking care of the kids'' while they flourish in their own careers which is bullocks if you ask me - after all, they had the kids together, so why cant he make sacrifices too?.

regarding UK's HSE, its for every parents' good. i am all for full disclosure especially with kids. if my kid receives a punch from another, i want to know

I get you bro and believe me when I say I have been at the end of that 'stare'.

Working 3 days is a luxury not everyone can enjoy and believe me the naija 'coporate' world is not a kind place to those sort of 'excuses '.MNCs and the civil service maybe.

will respond properly later I need to log off and leave the office now to pick my pickins

Ewuro4:
Damiso,

Once they suck you into their ridiculous call sequence to relieve their workload, they will never stop. That's just uncalled for and unfair for the parents. I mean they won't reduce your monthly charges , or do they?

Have 7 homeopathic medications ( you know how overrated those are too ) per each child's class/room. And they have their health cards details & pedi phone numbers, with parent consent. so they never page except the center is on fire

They kuku wont reduce the charges o.. Its annoying. Which employer wants someone that will be dashing off (everytime) in the middle of maybe a very busy time for the company?

They say they are trying to play 'safe and for the sake of the other children' but its just common sense sometimes.

I have been blessed with my son though the boy is an Okiri You have to be extra vigilant as his mum sef to know when he is ill.

Ralph Lauren are you going to leave an ill child at the daycare? Lil children between 0 and 5 are building up their immune system and some of them tend to have all this niggly lil illnesses e.g tonsillitis, chicken pox that just cant be helped and crop up at the most awkward and annoying times. In my sons nursery just one small episode of vomiting they call you to come pick up the child and they cant return until 48 hours after that incident because bugs tend to spread very fast around lil children as they are always all up in each other's faces. That's why in the UK most organisations have dependants leave for parents with young children.

OP it gets better as they get older so just stick in there. Like Mutter said you and your hubby( depending on if his job allows) have to work out a way where sometimes he will be the one to pick up or step in when these lil emergencies occur. My hubby was the one who had take more time off during the last school holidays as he had some left over annual leave from last year. If you live close to relatives they can also help out from time to time.

The way forward is flexible working time for parents with very young kids. Unfortunately that's not something accessible to everyone everywhere.

Ewuro4:
My paediatrician can't stand these daycares that call parents at work for fever or nausea. It's just plain ridiculous.

its sooooo annoying but the UK is health and safety cra,zy.

I get a call EVERY single time my daughter has an accident on the playground. And I mean even if she just bumps into another child.

The voicemail goes thus ' xxxxx mum this is the school calling Bleep bumped into another child on the playground and hit her head. We have applied an ice pack but we are watching her . She is with the school nurse and we might call you back if you need to pick her up'

and they will still put accident form in her bag o.

Ask the child later and she cant remember she bumped into anyone

I don't blame them sha.The nature of my job shows me what a litigious blame culture we live in so I guess they need to cover their backs.

jaybee3:
Yeah def leaning labour according to yougov

Simon needs all the help

I know we have to look at the overall picture but ideally people are meant to vote for members of parliament who will best represent their constituency's interest at Westminster.Simon Hughes has been a fantastic member of parliament for North Southwark and the locals really love him. I would normally vote Labour but their candidate is not really doing it for me(funny enough I met him today while out shopping). Where I live has a very high concentration of immigrants and for Simon to keep returning means he is doing something right.

I don't think it's given that black People or immigrants must all vote labour.
I personally know 3 naija people (not even born here sef) who are card carrying members of the Conservative party.One even contested under them in her local council. She is even campaigning right now for DC on her FB page with the video from FOL.She believes 'we' unfairly judge the Conservative party as being elitist and anti immigrant.She feels its a party for ambitious people (I don't agree with her but I do think she is entitled to her opinion)

jaybee3:
Oh i see

What council if i may ask?

Southwark

jaybee3:
I bet your council ain't tilting towards lib dems so why waste ya vote?

Its been a relatively safe lib dem seat for years but they are receiving a very stiff competition from Labour in this General election. This is mainly because the council is now labour run and they have some 'populist' policies that people love.

The more reason why I have to vote lib dem to return him to Westminster cos this time its no longer a sure seat and every single vote counts.

Ralphlauren:
I said it

yes na I am a working mother. Everybody votes for their own interests naa.

Yorubas will say nkan to ban dun eyan lo ma poju loro eni abeg naijababe translate