₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
There’s nothing spiritual holding you back. Your predicaments are not unusual given the human nature to be mean and wicked to others (the woman who treated you bad, the two person’s who ran away with your money etc) are just examples of human beings being human.

Stop thinking you need to go see someone spiritual before your life gets back on the right path. If you get that into your mind, it will become your reality. As a person thinks, so he is. Your mind will be clouded with negativity such that you won’t take opportunities or believe in yourself anymore.

you believe there’s something bigger than you fighting against you. Not necessarily. The only big thing fighting against you here is the situation of the economy and your need to develop skepticism and wariness of humans.

You believe in inherited genes and hereditary diseases but don't believe in hereditary problems (read spiritual problems). The joke is on you.

“Nature shows us only the tail of the lion. But there is no doubt in my mind that the lion belongs with it even if he cannot reveal himself to the eye all at once because of his huge dimension.”
— Albert Einstein

cc: ifyalways, lepasharon

cococandy:
Don’t spend your last money on transportation and accommodation to go and see any “man of God”

Unless the person has a job for you.

Sorry ma, this is spiritual naivety in intelligent garbs. Hogwash!

There is a way that seems right to a man but the end thereof is destruction.

ifyalways:
Emma, im short of words at your situation. Im not religious so im blind to whatever religious undertones(if any) in your write up.

What about the investment you made with part of the loan? Ypu were not a novice in car hire/driving business so im truly surprised you invested part of that loan into town service.

You seem to be too trusting. . .and have very little business acumen. Can you take a break from all business and just look for a job, work,collect your salary, flex and save. No be all of us go be CEO or business man.

You could even look for an established church that will employ you. I assume Pastors are paid monthly

Edit: Why do you need a pastor or fellow man to help you pray/conduct deliverance etc ,if at all theres any spiritual undertone to your wahala?
MFM pastors are human too . . Just like you.
You made bad choices and decisions,C'est finis. I see nothing spiritual with your problems. Who works and saves his salary with his boss?
Pray, bind and cast all you want, if you dont wisen up as a man and face the street headstrong, nothing will change.

I'm sorry to say this but you are spiritually naive.

AceRoyal:
Your health issues are all in your head and mind.
You seem like a very emotional person who is also very meticulous.

How exactly did you come to this presumptuous conclusion?

If Tottenham loses this game Pochettino's pedigree as a trophy winning coach should be called to question

First off, I must commend both you and your husband for taking this mature step to resolving your problems.

Upbringing. Programming. Strongholds. Imaginations. Thinking errors. Very few people can lift themselves above the programming of their childhood. Your husband must have grown up under a very limiting and probably dysfunctional family. It will not be easy to unlearn what he learnt consciously and unconsciously in his family.

I believe you two can discuss this help issue further. Perhaps get a permanent help or one that can stay longer to avoid burnout on your part.

But Boss, how can you be happy seeing your wife hassled and sapped by too much work and not assist her? A fatigued, stressed wife is a minus to you. You are missing out on her beautiful inner essence and other intangible things she would have offered you if she wasn't stressed by overwork. You are missing out, by ignorance and selfishness, on other things that make marriage sweet, loving and lively.

Your husband must have grown up in a family where the father was 'the all mighty' and the mother was the ever willing slave and martyr for the family. What can be wrong with a man helping out with the laundry machine? What can be so manly as the stronger man helping the weaker and more vulnerable wife pick up his own clothes and coach and teach his own children to success?

On not taking his bath: it's a learnt habit and can be unlearned. He might have learnt selfishness as a child or is unconsciously ignorant. If you care about your wife or the kids you would be thinking of how your stale or dirty smell will be inconveniencing your wife and perhaps others and the example you will be setting for your growing kids.

All these calling you names, insulting you, disrespecting you and being abusive. Damn! Got a bit angry reading this part. Your husband might need to see a therapist. His childhood and past is controlling his present in a frightening way. He must have had a very abusive past. Sir, the kid inside you is crying for help. Your wife is suffering as a result.

Madam, you married a broken man. His childhood broke him. His apologizing after the fact is good but it won't stop until he finds healing.

For both of you: if you look deeper you will find there is a pattern of giving and receiving of abuse in your individual families that is repeating itself here. To avert the same dysfunctional outcomes repeating in your own family you must break this pattern both mentally and spiritually. Enrol in marriage counseling, also in spiritual warfare(if you are spiritual people).

To your husband: For the sake of your kids who are already being programmed and raised in a toxic environment, the sanity and health of this woman you call your wife, go and seek for help.

When you were a child you thought and behaved like a child, now that you are grown you must put away childish things.

Officialgarri:
This bridge was commissioned by the then Prime Minister late Alhaji Tafawa Balewa and opened for traffic in December 1965... barely 15 days after, The same Balewa was assassinated by the people he commissioned the bridge for.

Two years later, the same people destroyed what was built for them.

I don't like speaking on sensitive threads like this but comments like yours tug at me.

Igbo people did not kill Balewa and co. Coup plotters killed Balewa. The coup plotters were led by some Igbo soldiers. Coup plotters don't come to their tribesmen to seek for permission to carry out a coup.

The coup and the killing of select people is condemnable but the generalization and condemning of and the eventual massacre of a whole tribe for what few soldiers did is atrocious and unjust. This is at the heart of the ethnic bitterness and hatred that have strangled the building of a united progressive nation.

It is false logic to say that a few = a whole.

Does Boko Haram = Hausa/Fulani?
Are Fulani Herdsmen = The entire Fulani?

If so should we go on reprisal attack on all Fulani to get justice?

The same evil logic wiped out Odi in Rivers State. Few soldiers killed by militants. Justice meant wiping out the entire Odi village, raping and torturing and even killing their women?

Some blame Ironsi, the same man who led the offensive that aborted the coup, for not decisively dealing with the perpetrators of the coup. True, Ironsi should have been quicker and more decisive in handing out judgment.

So the Igbo nation deserved to be punished for the weaknesses of the commander in chief. Another false logic.

Does Buhari's weaknesses in arresting Fulani herdsmen and bringing the killings in the Middle Belt to a halt justify a coup in which Buhari is killed and almost all Hausa/Fulani soldiers are wiped out and a pogrom is sanctioned against the entire Hausa/Fulani?

The injustice at the root of that war still festers today - see many comments on NL about 'Children of hate', terrorists and 'fear north' and even the perennial Yoruba vs Igbo fights here.

Until we realize where the rain started beating us and find creative ways to solve them and reconcile these anomalies nationhood will continue to elude us and charlatans like Nnamdi Kanu will continue milking the Biafra story for lucre. Until there is no country left.

We need a different kind of thinking and leadership to move this country forward.

Virgil Van Dijk, dude is phenomenal. He has perfected defending into an art form.

Militia, Gambrosia, Jellita, Blazay, Callotti, Kanwulia, KanwuliaExtra at her gangster best. You were HERE. There will not be another you in NL, ever. Damn! Mu che che mu che che!

lukui:
only in nigeria

it is only in nigeria that johnny that wanted to become a doctor ends up as a conductor
it is only in Nigeria that amaka that wanted to become a nurse ends up as olosho!
it is only in Nigeria that groundnuts are sold in bottles and pure water are in nylons!
it is only in Nigeria that small doctor is richer than ten medical doctors
it is only on Nigeria that Linda ikeji will go on vacations every month and tell us that she gets her money from blogging!

#GodblessNigeria!!??

Stop hating on her and use your mind for more positive and enriching things. Wealth-attracting things. May your mind so expand and may negativity travel far away from you. Say amen.

tosyne2much:
How is it killing football? You want the absence of VAR so that a player to get away with a hand ball?

Unintentional handballs in the 18, slight handballs from balls that are not goal bound should not count as penalties. They kill the humanity in football and squeeze the juice out of games.

dominique:
Full Time!
TOT 1
MCI 0

Not a comfortable scoreline to take back to Ethihad, spurs should not celebrate yet

Better than the goalless we had resigned ourselves to before Son's goal.

VAR, in its present form, is messing up football. It's now as if you are watching a strange and shocking game.

We are a country that has lost the capacity to feel shame. We know our boys have been and are still cheating in age group competitions yet we bury our heads in the sands like the ostrich while the comity of nations look at us and shake their heads. Tufiakwa.

DPRmoniker:
I appreciate the comments ladies and gentlemen. There's an update I have included as the first reply to the post in a space i reserved before i was suspended.

I would most likely be sending my daughter away to face more life challenges, probably start a relationship and rediscover a new future. I have not been able to find a way to discuss with her about this attachment, her mother did a few times but she seems to take it not seriously.

Your finding it hard to have this conversation with her speaks volume about your own weaknesses as a parent. I still refer you back to my earlier suggestions and advice.

You are abdicating your parental duties and sending her away so that life, her school, the internet and her peers can train your child for you. In essence, you are leaving her success in life to chance.

I have my deep fears about your sending her away this way without preparing her adequately for life. The consequences may be dire.

Her foundations are shaky no thanks to you and perhaps your wife lacking the requisite parenting skills. She's your child and you need to man up to the duties of a father before it's too late.

Two words too much for the wise.

Best wishes and I sincerely pray she turns out great and successful.

OP, from your 3 posts on this thread there is a chance your wife loves you but doesn't like publicising her marriage. There is a chance the crucifying majority are wrong. Stay open to this possibility till you get to the root of this.

There may be a psychological reason for her behaviours - her not wanting to show you off, her not being excited about your gifts. The reasons might be quite different from those suggested by most posters here.

Humans are complex beings.

You need more information. To get to the bottom of this.

Has she always been this way? Is this weird private behaviour exclusive to you in all cases? Is she excited when she receives gifts from other people? Has she always been this way even in her childhood?

She may not even know why she acts the way she does. But you can lovingly partner with her with loving probing to get to the root cause. It may even be as a result of something that happened in her childhood or adolescence or family. It may be a coping mechanism against a past trauma.

Maybe she needs help and understanding. Maybe.

Or maybe they are right.

All you need is more info.

Bottom line, I am not saying people saying she doesn't love you are wrong. All I'm saying is "what if they are wrong?" All I'm suggesting are different reasons that can make someone act the way she does.

God's grace.

PS: @megareal your post motivated me to write this. I initially felt the topic had been overflogged till I read your beautiful piece. There are 1001 possible reasons for her behaviours and there is a possibility that the crucifying majority are wrong. Humans, I repeat, are complex beings.

chibabe259:
Are you saying that one cannot be a lawful captive unknowingly?

ubunja:
that doesnt even make sense.

I beg to differ. One can be a lawful captive unknowingly. If your parents went to a shrine or babalawo to get a child or to provide spiritual cover for that child under certain agreements (covenants) then if the covenants are broken and the child (now an adult) is being attacked spiritually, the man being attacked is a lawful captive, though unbeknownst to him.

It's also why there are lineage/family patterns. Somewhere in the past someone gave legal access to altars of darkness or demonic spirits (through covenants or even through certain seemingly innocent actions) to oppress members of that family. The members of the family being oppressed are lawful captives.

Thank God for the legal substitutionary work of Christ on the cross, even the lawful captives can be delivered.

Smokeydrinkey, just so we can draw some wisdom, how has your friend's marriage fared so far?

Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries.

You have a loving relationship with your daughter which would have been so commendable if it weren't so unhealthy.

You have boundary issues and your daughter's behaviour is a product of this weakness.

You raised the child and trained her a certain way that allowed such excesses. In essence she's been programmed by you.

Glad you realize there is a problem here. She may become codependent in her relationships and may find it hard enforcing or keeping certain boundaries in her relationships. She may unconsciously be searching for someone like you in her relationships and may have unrealistic expectations about relationships and marriage.

Remember, fathers are their daughters' first love. If a father gets it wrong with his daughter she may struggle to have healthy relationships for life.

Your best bet may be to lovingly lay down the rules and teach her why it's for her own good. Be ready to enforce discipline if she crosses the boundaries and reward her sometimes when she behaves the right way.

To get it right you will have to heal yourself of your own weaknesses of which your daughter is only a mirror. I repeat, heal yourself first. It's the only way you can effectively enforce the required healthy boundaries here.

Also, study what a healthy loving father-daughter relationship should look like and be her coach till she grows into an independent and balanced woman that is able to keep healthy boundaries.

ignis:
Sure

Lai Mohammed. Abeg shift.

18.

Hormones are raging. Sexual development maturation are ongoing. Moods are swinging. Confusion about what's going on inside you. Puberty. Teenagers.

It's the perfect age to think about the development or lack of it of one's body.

ignis:
You don't need joystick at 18. If you can urinate well, don't worry.

Would you say the same thing if you were his age and had undeveloped boobs?

Double post

jrusky:
Oge! Oge!! Oge!!! How many time do i call you Listen to yourself doees all you said really make sense at all? And why cursing anyone for your error? You are right seeking help and deliverance for your aunt but is it with this dead body resurrected fake pastor?

People are not upset for your trying to help but not on this Lukaku or Lakiku man with dent image bikonu.

There are powerful men of God in Nigeria since medical could not solve it so going to a man with rubbish image around the world doesn't worth it.

And is your aunt healed now This man will just dupe you financially and dupe you sexually, mark my word.

Can't you read? The said event happened way before the resurrection incidence? What is Oge's offence here again?

excel101:
Thief thief pant like you.

Lame. Is that all you could muster?

excel101:
Some guys are funny o, after smoking whatever, they'll start spewing trash. Its still boil down to not recognizing what we have. Her mum knows the men of God in Nigeria, and the power of God in them, which are evident in the miracles they perform. I expected your reasons to be, probably they want to be discrete about it.

Shut up! Faith is personal. It's dependent on the vessel/MOG your faith connects to at the said time. Spirituality is a personal thing.

opobo007:
Story, story. You cant stand in for anyone's salvation, most especially miracles. It's funny the way many people translate Christianity. The faith of the father cannot save the son unless the son also come to repentance. People seek cheap miracles not minding the source

Ignorance with a megaphone!

So the Centurion who came to Christ for healing on behalf of his sick daughter came to do what exactly?

To refresh your memory he told Jesus to speak the word only that his daughter at home will be well and Christ did and the daughter became well same moment.

Secondly, the line about repentance before healing shows how out of touch with the bible you are. Have you heard about the gospel of grace before?

No matter how many megaphones you have or how loud or sane you speak, if you are wrong you are wrong, period!

Death does not fear Igwe(the king)

Or

Death does not fear igwe (heaven/the sky)

Elelia Na Ihe Omere
Nka Di Na Nti
Onye Oma Emeka
Okpa Aku Eri Eri
Ukwa Ruo Oge Ya O daa
Ala Bingo
Omenuko
Ukpana Okpoko Gburu

These are the ones I can remember.

Thetrueglobalma:
I don't have power to predict the future.

My advice is for you to go see a therapist. You are most likely depressed and a good therapist will help unravel what's behind this.

*****"

Suicide is a based on self love and a warped form of selfishness. It's a me me me me me programming and mindset: your world, thoughts and needs and values and achievements and experiences.

You haven't lived until you live for others or die for them if need be. Your family, your community, state, church, nation, the world needs your impact.

You are blessed/gifted so you can be a blessing to others, so you can love them. Give of your self, talent, wealth, wisdom, knowledge.

The world is waiting.

Reach out. Love. Live. Give.

Thetrueglobalma:
No to all the questions. Thanks.

Okay. You missed out on one: When you think of the future what do you see?

Have you had a traumatic or painful past or life experiences? Was your childhood dysfunctional? Are there areas of your life you consider yourself a failure in? When you think of the future what do you see?

I believe you are depressed. Your answers to the above questions may help pinpoint the trigger and possible solutions.