₦airaland Forum

Chevrolet076:
That guy ridiculed you gaan OOO... Omo see embarrassment. Say make you dey monitor the girl for him, your own girlfriend

Hahaha, power pass power, comrade. That was when I realized that girls can do extreme things if they love you. I was begging this girl and she was doing everything to please the guy just to save my sorry ass.

This guy will slap me and tell me that the girl must not know that he slapped me.

Smithwilliams826:
Na so you for just waste that year. Woman... Run

God was merciful. One week I was telling one of my lecturers that I was single, and I was being haunted because of girl the following week.

My auntie would have been heartbroken if I didn't complete that school.

LeeSmart:
BSU or Uni. Agric?

No, I didn't School in Benue, but I was based there that time, I completed my secondary School there before gaining admission to University. I resided in Otukpo then, and we were having serious, aggressive cult clash.

This Abiodun is not a performer. Either he is fighting Amosun or Gbenga.


For those of you that know Ogun State very well, between Amosun, Abiodun and Gbenga, who try pass?

LeeSmart:
Omor😱😱
This is some crazy experience bro. Were u able to set ur eyes on the nigga who was threatening you after u might have graduated?

@Dominique
Nlfpm
Plss move this topic to the front page

Let me be honest with you, the guy came with the intention to kill me, what saved me was the answer I gave him when he asked where I came from. I told him that I grew up in Benue and that period, Otukpo in Benue was in the news for cult war, so he became somewhat sceptical about me.

The last time I saw him was the day I wrote my 200 level last paper, then the 002 have put him in his place, so he called me chairman and we greeted hastily.

PS: He was caught for Exam malpractice and expelled that semester.

When you read some comments from the ladies, telling the OP to keep the child, don't let him go, he wants to take your child away from you as if the father will eat the child, you begin to wonder about emotional maturity of most women.

I will never fight any woman for my child. If you are capable enough and ready, you can have him or her. He is also your child. When he grows, he will definitely find his Dad.

OP, I understand your fears, but at this moment you have to suspend your emotions. That man didn't lie to you, at the embassy before they process that documents, it is appropriate you give your consent for the child to go live with his father, that's the process.

Consider the advantage your child will have from this decision. The mothers that their children live with in this country, after University, what next, the normal roaming unemployment. Your son is getting quality education, conducive environment for business, career growth, citizenship and more.

Don't let that boy grow up hating you when he realized you prevented him from having these privileges.

I like breasts moderate and round.

If you want to kill me, just poison my girlfriend's breasts.

Yes, one is on Facebook, another one is 2go and so on.

That when you love someone, you should accept them for who they are.

Fuckery, if you like don't work on yourself.

Cultists almost killed me because of Khadeejah. I was in 200 level living off campus and she was in 100 level, same department. She is very beautiful and slim. Catch them young brought me to her.

After she accepted to date me, after the first sex, which she was a virgin, now she took the relationship serious. And there was one Sociology final year guy, cultist that was chyking the girl and she refused, when they traced her to me was the beginning of that troubles.

He came in company of four guys, placed four guns on my bed to choose the one he will use on me. I was sweating and shaking, he warned me to end the relationship, I did immediately. The girl begged and cried but I refused and she still didn't accept the guy, so the guy came and beat carryover from my body that night and said I must let the girl accept him. In the morning, with my swollen face I visited the girl and begged her for two hours to accept this guy for my sake and she did.

The guy came back with another beating that I should help him monitor the girl so that another guy won't date her in the faculty, that one pain me and I told my friend, he informed his cousin who was an 002 of their group.

I stopped sleeping in my room, I was sleeping in my friend's house and he was sleeping in another person's room to avoid me. Then the 002 stepped in and beat the guy, he told the guy I was like a brother to him. I failed exam that dropped me from first class.

I almost got killed, God spared my life. Another boy was asked to drop out of school for one semester or get killed.

Cultism problem is not for the weak.

It's baffling that girls take such risk, but even the guys take such risk too. Back then in school, when you visit another school for a program or even meet some girls online, one or two chats and they are willing to visit.

As a guy, the risk is what if she come to sleepover and she die overnight? What will you do? Or she is devilish, like the way some spirits from River Benue normally turn to beautiful girls to come and kill guys on campus ( a story I heard from a survivor)

Some evil spirits can visit a guy to destroy him too, others will open leg for you to pour your destiny.

Both boys and girls are taking risk, just that girls are being killed more than guys, and it will continue because we are not learning.

A girl I was chatting with from Canada, a Nigerian student in Canada, when she visited her parents in Lagos, only God knows what she told them before they allow her to visit me in Abuja. When she came, we spent the weekend together but like the OP, I was praying not to get into trouble.

This thing called marriage.

This type of stories make me believe that marriage is not for everyone. I don't want to marry, then a neighbor will be a mediator in my marriage. I hate that thing.

Allow them to go their separate ways. Gone are days when marriage was for better for worse. We are in generation where if it's not working out, then they should walk out. They can go to Court to determine the custody of the child.

Lol, OP is just a confused joker fellow.

First of all, you caught her cheating on you severally, you got advice from your friends and Nairaland, you still hang on till June last year before ending the relationship. A girl you claimed to be taking care of all her responsibilities cheated on you, and you were advising her per your younger sister?

More so, you break up with someone who cheated on you, and you are still sleeping with her, are you that indisciplined or sex starved? Why should an ex who cheated on me be doing in my place before even sleeping with her?

Furthermore, you are allowing her to sleep over because of sex. What if she strangled you with pillow or poison you? Guys, some guys just lack sense.

She is blackmailing you or try to manipulate you into accepting her back. One girl did that with me, threatening suicide, that I will be held responsible if anything happens to her, I just told her to rest in peace in advance.

Some guys come here to act tough and in reality, they are just sex starved, Lilly liver, gullible and women impresser.

Your sister know the barber too,perhaps, he is your sister's spec.

I don't understand some guys, you want to behead a guy because of girlfriend? Either you are bluffing or you need proper attention for serious orientation.

Pablo Kabiru has done it again.

No gree for anybody taking to another level. This uncontrollable craze for money, and the desperation of self imposed deadline, and the encouragement from the materialistic society is just an enthronement of callous, dubious, heinous and evil in the society.

mabea:
You see, that's the very reason you shouldn't marry such. A cycle and a pattern is being installed unknowingly.

I don't expect my girlfriend who is raped by her father to still be talking to her father. I can't use that to judge her, I can only judge her by what she said, do around me.

We have rehabilitation center and therapy session that handles such trauma, and I will support her throughout the process.

As for me, it's natural not to have an intimate relationship with someone who is not in your life, and I am going to be in my children's life and my partner too. If I am hurt by my experience, I wouldn't want to hurt my children by bailing on them.

parcydrix:
As long as you have money you are cute bros. Ned Nwoko is very cute

Lol, you absolutely correct. Men don't need good looks in this economy, they just need full pocket.

casualobserver:
Oga please rape and violence are extreme cases. In any event if you are a victim of rape and violence, you yourself have become toxic…like I said children of truly “toxic” families are themselves toxic and should be avoided. The question is should someone marry you in such circumstances, the answer is no! It is not your job to inherit others people’s problems.

As for Elon Musk. Please because someone has money or is successful career wise does not mean we should hold them up as a beacon of morality. Elon Musk is one of the most ffucked up people on earth. Kanye west is messed up, do you want to be like Kanye west? Please when you bring up examples of people, try not to bring up people with a history of drug abuse and mental breakdowns!

Khusbu Sundar is a Hindu actress and politician.

Oprah Winfrey needs no introduction.

These are people who were raped by family members, one by her father, they didn't allow the experience to define them, they are still successful..
Elon Musk is not a moral beacon, rather a pragmatic beacon. Morality in African context is hypocrisy, so I don't give a hoot about it. Kenye West didn't suffer any emotional or psychological complications from his parents,at least, his mother was stood by him until her death. Any drug issue was his personal decision.

People who are victims have the ability to heal and become emotionally and physically healthy again. The rehabilitation center and therepy sessions are not for decoration. Most of them that manage the trauma well even live better in marriage than some people that grow up in a healthy home.

Like I said, don't mock a pain you haven't felt.

Banhammy717:
Please reconcile with your mother.
No matter what she might have done wrong, she's still the one who carried you in her womb, loss blood while bringing you to this world and breastfed you.
As a human, she might have made one or two wrong decisions, but you are not to judge her on that.
Try as much as possible to be nice to your mother, she's irreplaceable.

I understand where you are coming from and I really appreciate it. Any girl who is fertile can be pregnant and give birth and even breastfeed a child, but it takes a special woman, an extraordinary woman, a strong woman to be a mother.

Nine months and breastfeeding is not enough. The real deal is the bond, love and relationship you build with that young one in his or her formative years till his adult years. That is what make a mother.

When people are asked to choose between Dad and Mom, listen to their answers, it reflects who is there for that person.

Greenfaces:
I'm Islam, no matter what, you should relate with her and show her kindness. Even if she is an idol worshipper, don't join her in her worship but admonish her kindly. Keep doing this until death calls

What happened to Islam when some fathers rape their daughter? What happened to Islam when some mothers sleep with their daughter's husband? What happened to Islam when those children suffered domestic violence, when their self worth is being destroyed?

Religion can't solve a psychological or emotional trauma.

casualobserver:
You can’t run away from who you are. We are all toxic in our own ways. The difference between people who label their families toxic and others is that some learn to deal with it and keep their family problems in house others tell the whole world.

Like they say there are many mad men roaming the streets but you don’t know because they are all wearing suits.

It is when you hear someone else’s story that you know you are not the only one with problems.

So father who sexually molest or rape the daughter, you expect her to keep family problems in the house right? If you grow up in a healthy home, just thank God.

Don't mock a pain you haven't felt.

Even Elon Musk cut off his Dad at some point if you read his book.

Socratiz:
It is advisable to tread with caution before going into a marriage relationship with anyone who has no relationship with their parents.

Granted that theub could have had a toxic and traumatic relationship with the parents but when anyone gets to the age of marriage, thst is the age of responsibility. It is necessary to forgive the parents. At least, be on talking terms with them, and you're struggling with forgiving them, seek for counsel.

If you go into marriage with such a person, the childhood trauma will definitely surface in the marriage because it has not been resolved. Unforgiveness, bitterness and painful memoried are heavy baggages to bring into marriage so as a partner, don't think you can have a peaceful marriage with these baggages.

You expect a lady who is raped, impregnated and taking for an abortion by her father should forgive the father because of marriage? Do you know what maniacs in the name of parents have done to some people? You heard of the Amina that poisoned herself and two kids, that is also an example of a parent.

cigaricon:
You see, issues in family are very delicate and complicated that if you don't experience it firsthand or you're not a first hand witness, you will never understand no mater how the people involved explain it to you. First of all, when it comes to marriage, I believe it to be between two people, therefore should be independent of any other people whether they're family or not, after all the bible said a man would LEAVE HIS MOTHER AND FATHER AND CLING TO HIS WIFE. However the African culture insinuates that marriage is between families but I do not agree and that's my own opinion.

Now back to the issues in family I was talking about, If you had spectacular parents as a child, you can never believe that there are parents somewhere who are evil such that they could even kill their child. Many parents have ruined their children's lives, yes I've met some people who their parent(s) do not want the best for them so that they won't outdo what they the parent have done. We've all heard stories where Fathers molest their daughters, maltreat their sons and what not, now would you blame these set of people if they choose to disown their parents? Many would do so to save their future, would you blame them?

I see some comments saying one shouldn't disown their family NO MATTER WHAT and I just scoff cos these people haven't been in some ugly situation. I bet that You wouldn't even think twice before making the decision if it were you so stop saying what you don't know about yet and just deal with your own life and let others deal with theirs.

At the end of the day, whether family or not, we are all individuals with different perspectives to life, so one having toxic or evil parents doesn't automatically mean that they would be evil themselves as some comments are saying. Sometimes we experience evil so that we can be better humans. Sometimes people make these decisions to save their partner and children from toxicity.

I'm not saying it's a good thing to disown one's parents, all I'm saying is that some situations need to be properly studied before jumping into conclusion. It is no where carved in stone that whoever doesn't have a relationship with their parents will be bad partners in marriage, never

An emotionally intelligent fellow just spotted. I quite agree with all your points. I just commented about my relationship with my mom, she abandoned me when I was two, she has never been a loving mother, my auntie, paternal auntie, trained me from nursery to University. Do you believe that some illogical and emotionally myopic fellows were abusing me for not being a good son to a woman who don't even know my favorite food?

Sermwell:
You're really funny!!! I will be a mad father to allow someone like you marry my son or daughter!! I'm not a father yet, but I will clearly advise my son or daughter against marrying someone like you! Gosh!!

Lol, don't beat yourself up for nothing. I already understand that African parents with their toxicity and negativity are never wrong. They are God, they will rather die than accepting they are wrong. Their potential myopic tendency won't let them see the psychological and emotional trauma and damage their wrong decisions is causing an innocent child. No matter what they did you have no right to express your feeling.

PS: Don't worry, I am not marrying your daughter, so relax and focus on your goals this year.

God, you promised us our daily bread. May you not keep the daily bread where would take our life.

In 2024, people are still learning how to get a girl's number? This is absolutely ridiculous.

I don't know the kind of girls you like, but you don't attend business seminar, estate get together, conference and having to be member of different interest base WhatsApp group?

DestinedForGrea:
There's no such thing as a "talkertive".

It's "talkative". It's pronounced "talk-a-tive", and it's an adjective, not a noun.

Correct usage of the word;
He is a talkative person.
He is talkative.

Wrong usage;
He is a talkative.


Now how do you handle a talkative person politely?

Pretend not to pay attention as they talk. Even if you have something to say, don't say it, just act distracted.

Occasionally give responses like "hmm, oh, wow..". It may take a little while, but they will eventually get the signal.

It might seem awkward when the atmosphere becomes silent and you might start to feel guilty, but don't bulge. Just remain silent.

If the person gets sense, with time, e go get the message.

Lol, this is the case of no gree for anybody. You just turned the thread to lecture hall. You did well and quite educating. When you see people typing carelessly like that, you don't know if they are being soundly lazy or that's how they write.

When the talking is getting out of hand, I will just bail on them. There's a man that talk very well here in my place, yesterday he took two hours telling me stories he already told about his younger siblings none existence wealth, and how his uncle was a director in ministry of works and his mother having many cars and money. This man is a security at 56 collecting 24k.

They are quite annoying.

I can comfortably marry someone like that when the reason for excommunicating her parents is concrete and logical. I will gladly marry her.

For me, I can stay five years without hearing from my biological mother and I won't be bothered. I can't even tell her I love you, the words won't come out of my mouth. We don't have relationship, we only tolerate each other. She has never been there for me and the only time I had the opportunity to know her, she is not the loving mother.

Well, for my auntie, that's my father's younger sister, she is my world and my favorite. She is the one that have always been going extra mile for me, and whenever the idea of parents occur to me, she is the one I always see.

In this situation, I expect my partner to understand that what happened between my mother and I won't affect our marriage, because I will always be there for her and my children.

I have seen Edo girls and I must confess, they are beautiful, but I can't say that for the men.

Is Rema cute? Well, maybe because I am a guy so I won't know.

Lol, perhaps they didn't know they will marry, so they couldn't hide their excitement.

Everyone guy is redpill and the ladies are feminist, and guys are scum and girls are LovePeddler, but every weekend you will see "all roads lead to so so and so. Always getting married.

He should leave the car there and go back to his village to start farming business.