₦airaland Forum

naijaseeker:
I actually agree with you. Nigeria really has a lot of dumb people. Nothing is as dumb as someone who really do not know what his problem is.
Maybe you should blame yourself but clearly, I do not blame myself. I ask myself why should somebody whose educational certification rules over professors. I ask myself why should my CJN have a mediocre certificate why there are many exceptional lawyers jobless. I ask myself why should someone score 2 in an exam get admission but another 200 and is not admitted.

I ask myself all these questions and I realise that there are forces responsible for it, However, someone who is very dumb refuses to do carry out a root cause analysis and simply wants to blame me. My dear, if you are dumb, I am not.

I have carried out my analysis and I know what is wrong with Nigeria and I offer suggestions, People who are not dumb are currently pushing for restructuring because they are aware that the country was structured to bring assets to the centre where whoever is in charge will take it. Before it was the colonial powers, now it is the political elite in cohort with the western world.

Of course, dumb Nigerians lack the patience nor capacity for analysis. It is simpler for their shallow reasoning capacity to simply blame every Nigerian. Therefore, they cannot task themselves on what to do to tackle this political elite and western powers.

My dear, if you are dumb, I am not. The task before every Nigerian now is to fight for a restructuring of the Nigerian system. We are not dumb, we are in a situation and we need to fight it

If you are not dumb, then do something about it. Instead of coming online to rant.
The power that control Africa are much stronger than her, its not just Nigeria. And sadly Africans do not have the right strategy to combat these forces.
Moreover ignorance, non enlightenment, poor or no value for education has fueled it. When I talk of education, its not just peddling certificate, because we have many carrying such with no value added. Rather its more of critical thinking, outside the box thinking. Coupled with a leadership that's exact reflection of the people being ruled. So its a big complex problem that can be solved but requires a higher level of thinking.

Anyone thinking that the Anglo Saxon cartels that control the finance of this our world will allow this Libra idea to flow must be smoking something high

Central banks, big banks, finance guys on wall street will never allow this to fly.
Mark thinks he can take these guys powers
He is to small to handle such.
Bill Gates in his prime never dared such

Marriage makes them one. Let's leave all this bickering. If the woman is the one that owns a house, if marriage is really true, then it belongs to both of them.

Many men get benefits from there wives.
My oga that mentored me in business. His wife was an ExxonMobil engineer, as in international staff level.

Then he hadn't much, but the guy was controlling everything, even his wife's account, ATM everything. The woman was completely loyal.
He started a thriving lucrative business now worth 100s of millions from his wife's money.
Today they live in the US, ExxonMobil transferred the woman to there international headquarters. The wife brain hot wells, had first class in engineering.
But my oga then na very responsible man. Never messed around, very well cultured.

RTSC2:
They want to retain the presidency for one more term and partner with the South east for an Igbo presidency after that.

The south east should take up their offer. They owe nobody any loyalty since others don't want to be honourable.

Actually they honestly understand it is the turn of South East. So if the East partner with them in 2023, its not that bad. By then someone credible would be groomed because the North guards Nigeria's presidency jealously. They only trusted Obj from the South. Gej was allowed because he could be controlled.
And whether we Southerners like it they hold the ace to Nigeria's presidency. The British, world powers somehow favours them over others. So wisdom is required here.

Guest007:
Piss on the toilet seat

"if you trickle when you tinkle, be a dear and wipe the seat"

This is the most common one!!

pmc01:
The issues raised at "THE PLATFORM" today should be what should be trending, via healthy debates till this year ends.

God help us.

This years platform made my day
The undiluted truth spoken by anil Gupta, Bismarck Rewane, Chukwuma Soludo and Peter OBi was unraveling.
We cannot keep on doing dumb things according to Bismarck!

To move forward, we need to;
1. Stop doing dumb things.
2. Start doing smart things.
3. Start doing modern things.
@BJRewane

#Theplatformng
#NewEconomicIdeas

Our people say na patience they use to follow woman. Be patient with her.
And she has a responsible parents that can talk sense into her. Which is a a good plus.

And you become responsible honestly
This modern women, once they notice you are misbehaving, they start there own

Lead by example
Let her see you as responsible
You will be surprised, she go dey over loyal

Sandra8:
You may have to pick between infidelity and good fatherhood to achieve their dear. Many dads tried but failed dear

Actually as a man I live a disciplined life. Its good to be disciplined, women see it as odd. On the other hand I am not a woman wrapper. A retired bad boy. Been there done that!!

Sandra8:
Hope forming a bond with your kids is part of your priorities babe

Bond well sure as there Father I want to give them an unforgettable childhood memory of me. Its good to be a good Dad to your kids. And actually to some extent, we are indebted to our women because of our kids. And if you are fortunate to be married to a good woman, that's over blessing!!!!

Sandra8:
Google search about them dear and find out. They are doing fine by the way. The must not be politicians themselves to be successful in your eyes. If that is your reasoning you are still wrong dear

I stated in my earlier post what a man owe his children. A man achieving greatness has no bearing on his children's destiny. You talked about Azikiwe children, are they great like there father? No. It doesn't have to be politics. A great name is not just political. Dangote is a great name, is he a politician?
They will still be living there normal life.

eni4real:
Life is not a bed of Rose..
You will pull through..

Not all polygamy look like that!!!

Everything comes with pros and cons..
How you set up also matter!!

Never give up!

Polygamy is our way in Africa..

Maybe your own belief. But I don't believe in polygamy. I have seen the ills

Sandra8:
Azikiwe kids are in London, that I know for sure babe. If you mean their political relevance that's because of corruption, if they can't play the dirty game of politics then they get out dear. So I'm right.

They are in London doing what?
Are they great names like there Dad? Not at all. Everyone must work his own greatness, if not you end up just anybody

eni4real:
Men should just Hustle in order to marry 2..

Once money is involved, making then happy will not be a problem..

Most marital problems I've read here are from monogamous relationships..

When I see a lady boasting to be in charge of his man's life, I know it is a monogamous relationship

When I see a guy complaining about the excessive character of his wife, or her hypo sexuality, I know that it is a monogamous marriage...

Men should Hustle and stop being lazy...

You will not appreciate the good side of women, if they are not up to 2 in your house!!

Hustle hard and pray for blessing...

Don't waste that money, marry the 2nd wife ASAP!!!

It worth it!! It makes you to enjoy what women has to offer better!!!
It is allowed!!! Don't restrict yourself!!!

Will you handle the jealousy, going to babalawo, being fetish on the children, and rivalry between the children?
Both of my parents came from a polygamous homes and I know how it was. Its better you manage one woman, the peace is better. The children will have more synergy between them as siblings.
Like I know how close I and my siblings are. We got each others back

Sandra8:
Men's influence in the raising of children outside of marriage will always be downplayed by women. No kid will ever support a father who disrespects his mother by first not marrying her (making him a bastard in the process) and also by cheating on her with multiple women .
The respect this kids end up having for their mom always supercede whatever respect they may have for their dad.
And yes a man's greatness is linked to the quality of his offspring. Man is a social animal dear. So after all is said and done. After all the man has achieved personally and in his good old age all his kids turn out different than he did, or failed in life or failed to acknowledge him after being successful which most are doing now, what joy does the man gain from that my dear. Absolutely nothing but pains. Wake up dear

I beg to differ in some assumptions here. I believe a man has a different life from his kids. Although he owes them good training, upbringing, and discipline, but everyone must work his or her destiny out.

Where is Azikiwe, Awolowo, Shagari, Ekwueme children today.
Where are children of John D Rockefeller, Henry Ford, Kennedy family etc.

A great man doesn't transfer his greatness to his children, everyone must work his own greatness. The only thing a man owes his children are good education, good training, good upbringing and good discipline to become better members of society.

2021 ga adi very hot

Hope Willie brings out somebody that makes sense. APGA akuola nkporogwu na Anambra State. They should keep it up

IBB was a very good looking man in his younger days, in addition the love of his life late maryam. Heard two of them were quite a pair.
Then Nigeria was respected because she had a promising future. But that future is turning to nightmare.
Only divine intervention will save this Nation. Sometimes I weep deeply in my heart for this Nation. Worst of all, we have a younger generation that is totally clueless. That's the very sad part.


I believe the future hope for Nigeria are those kids in junior secondary down to the unborn generation. But as for the matured once, they have been corrupted and defiled.

7pages:
You're an ignorance of what you don't know. You're obviously an atheist so I don't expect you to have a spiritual inclusion in regards to the literally and spiritual meaning of Grace

Grace: Titus 2 vs 11 For the grace of God that bringeth salvation [/b]hath appeared to all men,

12 [b]Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;

Richdad50:
What generation are you?Silly! People who can not influence fractionof Nairaland readers good or bad are talking about a 23 year old girl taking the country by storm.

Influence what
You guys are funny
Majority are dumb, nothing upstairs
I am very sorry for most of you
You guys don't know what is waiting for you in the front
Lazy youths that want quick money but don't want to work and get busy
That's why all they know is Yahoo Yahoo
But FBI and EFCC are after you guys now
Arresting many in droves
Very soon there will be no free money for you to waste on irrelevant and time wasting rubbish like big brother nonsense and social media influence nonsense

Honestly I weep for Nigeria

Agneseze:
Thanks for the words of support. But here is my biggest dilemma , I have confronted him with this, but he refuses to admit that he Is responsible for her pregnancy. He wont explain or show me the doctor results. Every cell in my brain says he is guilty but him not admitting to me makes me feel guilty about being angry about something that he claims he didn't do, but I know he did. My niece mother insists that we wait until the baby is here then DNA tests will be done. I just can't get passed what he's done. Everytime I look at him , it makes me hate him more. He has no remorse for what he's done because he won't admit it. I am sleeping in my children room because I don't want him until he can come clean.

But nawa for that man
His behaving like this shows he is a reprobate. Yes he is very ashamed, but he should own up and ask his wife whom he had wronged badly for forgiveness.
Nawa
Except he didn't, but his actions shows that he did. Why is he hiding the result. If the DNA result confirms him, how will he face his wife?


Madam Sorry for the hurt and trauma you are passing through. May the Good Lord comfort your hurting heart.

Omojudy:
Thank You

You are welcome

Omojudy:
I wish heaven was that simple! I would stroll in already.

Not at all my dear, it takes someone with divine touch to do that.
Can't you see a lot of evil devilish advice coming out here, but your own stood out.

That is what Jesus a man of peace would have advised. A woman was caught red handed in the very act of adultery. The law states that she should be stoned. But the Lord rather told her accusers if anyone of them have not sinned should cast the first stone, none could do that.

That's God divinely wisdom way different from the norm. So when I said making heaven is 100% assured. I am right.

chocolatelady:
This is a trying time for the OP. My honest advice to u is for u to beg God to give u the grace to swallow this hard pill and wisdom so as not to make mistake. Never u leave ur hussy becos of this. In marriage, temptations are abound to happen but the ability for the couple to tackle them makes their love life blossom. I really understand the pain u are going thru right now but pls stand by ur husband becos u are one and not two. Do not allow this to scatter ur marriage pls. Anybody that have not sinned should be the first to cast stone. I am not saying that what ur hussy did was right but the bitter truth is that the deed has been done. Ask ur husband to tell u the truth that u are willing to forgive and stand by his side no matter what. I am sure that he will tell u the truth if u promised to be by his side becos the man is afraid that u will leave him if he tells the truth. Concerning ur niece, I advise that u allow her give birth to the child. Then do paternity test to confirm if the child is actually ur hussy 's. If the child is his, plead with the girl and her family to allow u take care of the child and promised that u will be a good mum to the child. Again, this is not easy at all becos as a human being, the child will always remind u how ur hussy cheated on u but u have to beg Ğod to give u grace to overcome it which I am sure He will give u. Pls do not advice ur niece to do abortion. Abortion is murder and a grievious sin against God. Pls do not listen to those advising u for ur niece to do abortion . God forbid , if she has complications and die in the process. The guilt will never leave until u live the palnet earth. Take heart my dear, I believe u will come out of this. MAY GOD BE WITH U AND UR FAMILY AT THIS TRYING TIME, AMEN.

Another wise woman spotted.
Compare it to some devilish advice being given over this issue and you will know difference between light and darkness.
One is godly heaven breathed wisdom the other is devilish, from the pit of hell.

Omojudy:
As painful as this will sound, I will ask the girl what she wants to do, clearly giving her the right over her own body. She is my relative not his and I will support her while watching my husband prayerfully without a quarrel.
If she does keep the pregnancy, I will request her to give us custody of the child and voila we have another child.
Whatever she decides, I will stand by it. Anything other than him and her continuing their affair.
Yes, I will also have the baby’s DNA tested when born if we have to accept the liability.
Life is not that hard, it’s betraying and hurtful but we will always take the right decisions putting emotions aside.

Wow godly wisdom right there!!
Any woman that does this making heaven is 100% certified!!!

Aunty how could you keep a young fresh 19yrs old young woman with a matured man? It is a very big temptation, that only well disciplined men can keep.
That's why it is not even advisable

Your husband has sinned
It will only take God's intervention for healing. His human sinful nature which he couldn't deal with has gotten hold of him. A very big family scandal

Only God can deal with this matter
Its heart breaking

calgaryFriend:
I always like to understand what situation people are in before they talk on issues like this.

Ask a lady in her forties without a husband what she thinks about early marriage and you will understand. If you are married yourself with kids and settled you cannot know what ladies in their 40s without a family are going through.

Ever here in north America majority of women in their 40s that I have met are always eager to start a family and settle down.

There are a very few ladies though that would feel fulfilled without a family, but thats a very tiny percentage.

When people come around to make it look like thats the norm then we have a problem, I was dating a 34year old established lady here abroad, a Nigerian who had her career and everything going for her, when I figured out she was not the kind of person I wanted to marry and told her I was done with the whole thing, she called me crying and threatened to kill herself.

She was so distressed and I was so worried for her, people may pretend that they are okay but trust me majority of women would prefer to have a stable family than a stable career but most of these people realise this quite late.

And I think men too should marry early, as a Yoruba man, if you are 30years and not married as a man that looks awkward although we know Igbo men marry very late. I have 40 year old Igbo single men who do not even feel any pressure.

Don't mind those deceiving themselves. I have come across some of those Ladies, its a very painful experience. Even men who marry very late also feel bad although they can still marry younger women and have children. Talk less of women.
That's why I don't like boys coming online to call these women evening newspaper. Its a very bad thing to mock someone's unfortunate condition.

I always advice younger women use your attractive years when men revolve around you, find someone responsible and marry.

tbaba84:
Hmmm, i really felt for you sha cos its always difficult to just say bye bye for someone you love so much, same thing is happening in marriage right now, i got married 2yrs ago, but since last yr my marriage has been so terrible to an extent the 2 families must meet to discuss on our matter.What is causing the problem is something both of us can iron out between ourselves.How on earth will i have a wife that i will not be able to sleep with any time i want sex,my wife hardly give me sex, she hardly cook for me any time she comes back from work, i cant torch her boobs, i cant kiss her, she hardly sweep the house during the week, except weekend, i do go to the market myself, even if i come back she will tell me she cant cook sometimes i will be the one to cook the soup,she doesnt wash my clothes, some times she will use plates in the kitchen and leave it in the sink and go to work, on weeked's she will sleep till 10oclock and when ever she wakes up instead of her to go to the kitchen to prepare breakfast,what she will do next is to pack her clothes and my baby clothes and begin wash.if i ask her baby what are we eating in this morning , she will reply me by saying she doesnt know.i have been begging my wife for sex for the past one week now but she is depriving me of it.but i did one thing which i later regretted. when my body can no longer hold it any more i raised my hands on her and beat her.But what her family stand on now is that they dont beat a woman from their place and i have reported this issue to them severally.but my question now is, My wife has requested for divorce now and which the dad is also in support because my wife is the bread winner of her family,the father said he will call my uncle to know when we will sit down to discuss when she will come and pack her loads, should allow her to pack her loads or we should not even go for the meeting. And again i asked her to send me her account no so that i can send her some change to use to buy food and provision for my baby,what she said what that Mr man if you know this money you are sending to me will make me come back to that house,it will never work out ooo.she did not send the account no.but last week she sent a msg to me telling me she has paid for my daughter school fee but remaining 10k to balance it up.that was when she now sent me the account no.please house should i send it to her, please advice me.Almost everyone have begged her to come back home that she is even the one at fault but she insisted that she is no more coming bk to my house that i should go and marry another wife that will tolorate me.please i also need an advise on what to do. And again is it my right to pay my daughter school fee cos i am not the one that enrolled her in school and i am not the one that sent her mother packing.

Wahala
Trouble
Nsogbu uwa

I truly feel for you. Chei
You married a mean woman without any feelings for you.
Didn't you see signs during courtship?
I don't even know what to tell you
But may God comfort you, give you the wisdom to overcome this trial and wipe away your tears.

It is well with you bro

olabrinks:
I’m sorry but not all women are destined to be career women. Self accomplishments are very personal, and what might seem silly to another might be huge to others. To some women, raising children in a stable marital home is their biggest achievement in life. They are happy and fulfilled with that and nobody can take that away from them. They might decide to have a small business on the side but taking care of their home is their biggest career. They are happy. Some career women are forever unfulfilled chasing insatiable dreams. It all depends on the individual. Let everyone do what makes them happy.

Gbam
You spoke well
There was a mega church I used to attend in lekki then. You will see plenty women with good jobs advanced in age, but no husband. They will be trying to hook up to Church brothers, but those brothers will go outside and marry younger women.
Honestly a time came the pastor was really concerned.
I used to be seriously worried and concerned about these ladies. But you see they were concerned about building there career and making money in there younger years when they should have hooked up a husband.

Now they have the careers, money but no husband.


I remember my sisters then, did good courses in uni, 2 doctors, one did linguistic.
They graduated around 24 23 22.
My mum insisted that once they graduated, marriage sharp.

Today they have finished child bearing, average age of 35 37 33, slaying and catching fun. One is in UK doing post graduate fellowship, the other lives in Canada with husband and children as a PR. The one in Nigeria her first son has entered secondary school, the other two kids primary 4 & 5. Doing very well as a career woman, earning good pay

A lot of there sets and classmates are not married up to today. Infact when my sisters were marrying they said they were rushing into marriage early.
One was a big girl, worked in bank treasury in a head quarter of bank, making crazy money, but she is still single till today

When I was a young boy, I used not to see eye to eye with my Dad.
But as a grown man now, my Dad is my hero. So full of wisdom.
He is my best buddy and we talk on the phone every week
Being a father is no mean feat

You still have a lot of growing up to do.
When you mature more, your eyes will open to a great father you had.
Just pray it won't be late for you then, if he is no more.
Keep conniving with your mother.

HBB1:
I dare say that a considerable number of your 'working' marriages are not quite happy-- I work in a field where I interact with such people a lot...

Divorce is higher now because women are more independent and don't have to obey what society forces down their throat.

It doesn't suggest the fact that our Mothers were happier. They were only in their marriages because of their children.
Usually when there was no child there was no marriage.

...and when, the child got married they only knew to follow him about and compete with his wife as that was what they lived for.
What happy woman will leave her husband and continue constituting a nuisance in a child's house?

I know people who are in abusive marriages and have stayed because of divorce and it's stigma.
I know a 66 year old man who still hits his 61 year old wife and I also know a 75 year old man who hits his 70 something year old wife.

I detest divorce, but if a marriage is not working , there is no use enduring-- marriage was made for man, not man for marriage.

When we stand before God he will ask us if we did what he sent us to do on earth-- alone.
No husband, no wife, no kids.

People have succeeded on their second marriages, and some still will never do, but I don't believe a marriage should be endured-- there is more to life.

About love, I believe in love. I have seen people who love their spouses and I are seen those who just clinging on.
Same way I have seen people who love their jobs and those who just have to survive.

Which do you want?

Love will sustain a marriage, emotions however will not, as they wax and wane.
Love is kind, unselfish, faithful... It's not just an emotion.
It's a product of good character and requires both parties.
It's like food, food is essential for survival.

The food however should be sweet-- hence the emotional love, 'romance.'
Spice the 'Food' with the 'Maggi' and you will have the euphoria and stability you need in a marriage.

And after all this you quoted those marriages claiming love how have they been. This our generation always talk love but still can't hold down marriage


Like I told you, I don't really believe in those euphoric feeling in the name of love. Those things don't last. Rather I believe in committing to my partner and my kids. Taking marriage as a serious business. Playing my role very well. But all those mushy feelings is a no no for me
But my responsibility I will take seriously

HBB1:
Have you heard of unhappy marriages however?

Unhappy marriages?
You guys make me laugh
Compare modern marriages where they claim love and past marriages which one last more.

Go and meet people that have had a lasting marriage, it takes more than love to make a marriage work. What most people call love is just emotional feelings, it lasts maximum 2 years and reality sets in.

What makes marriage work is commitment of the two parties to themselves, and to raising there children. From where I come from we don't believe in broken homes. So people get to know what they are getting into. Marriage is not this flimsy euphoric feeling in the name of love. Still small thing the so called two people in love can't stand themselves, end up divorcing, exposing children produced in those unions to ridicule and lifetime of pain. Very selfish set of people that care about there own feelings.

Celestial777:
Osu caste system may never leave the Ibo communities this is the reason.
My friend wanted to marry a girl who happens to be nan OSU from unuagwo kindred. They were both medical practitioners.. the whole family of the man went against such Osuic union saying such marraige will only turn there own lineage to osu. The matter was brought to CWO meeting and the leader of the group there is nothing like osu again in this present day. Las las the relationship was dissolved. After a while the leader of cwo that said osu is nothing...her daughter found herself in similar situation. The man she want to get married to happen to be an osu. She was so confident that her mom will support this union since she already know her stand on it....las las the same woman reget it . She said her only daughter cant marry osu.
Rev Father now remind her what she said sometimes ago and also her position as the head of Catholic women organisation that she should lead by example...she said if its her position as cwo will make her pikin marry osuw she no do again...infact she later join winners chapel sef

That is the irony of osu in iboland

Make I no laughoo

This reminds me one prominent Igwe from a well known town in Anambra my state announced that there is nothing like OSU again in his Town. The elders told him that it is good but first one of his sons will first marry an OSU, then they will agree to the new law. The igwe no talk again.



People saying 21st century won't understand the guys dilemma. Like he said in Igbo culture one person don't go and said he is marrying.

Marriage is a very deep thing, it involves the mans umynna or kinsmen even before his father. It involves the mans mothers people likewise the same for the girl being married. That's why divorce is rare amongst those that follow this laws because the two couples will know its a very serious business. Example in my entire family father's side mothers side to even expended family, I have never heard of a case of divorce. Never

This is not good at all
I pray Osibanjo survive this
They want to rubbish and finish that man
This isn't good at all


I think he should learn from Atiku
How he survived Objs 2nd tenure
Because truly there are many people
That want his downfall
Even from his Zone
Now is time to get wise and smart
God helping him