₦airaland Forum

14 years? How did he earn a living if he was not working?

I can't believe a wife will support a man for 14 years to work for free.

Rhodaogunpeju:
Why are our Nigerian Men so insensitive.

I'm naturally a chubby lady with curves and I remember vividy how my husband used to praise my physique and say I'm his spec. According to him skinny girls are not his type.

We got married and I have given birth to two kids and I added weight a little, plus we were living comfortably so the good life was evident in my life and body.

The church we normally attend, the pastor's wife has 5 kids already and she's much older than me but she still looks moderate enough with little or zero stomach fat.

My husband seeing this woman has constantly been telling me to try and work on myself, this man literally wants me to be skinny, when we married I wasn't skinny, the blow was when he compared me to my Pastor's wife, saying I have just 2 kids and I added weight while our Pastor's wife has 5 and she's looking like she never gave birth.. I cried and I have been crying since..


It hurts so much .. It makes me wonder if this man still loves me?

Your husband has a crush on your pastor's wife. All these while he never had a problem with your weight until now. Something changed, and it is not you.

And I'm almost certain that's not the only thing he admires about her. He must have commented on how she talks, walks, smiles or carry herself.

Does it mean, he doesn't love you anymore. I don't know that, however, love is complex.

husseinaaa:
I met this guy 2018 in my Madam's tailoring shop while I was learning as an apprentice.

He usually comes around, he talks and jokes with everyone in the shop and we are all free with him after sometimes of showing good behaviours towards us.

To cut the story short, one day he asked for my phone number that he wants to be communicating with me, so I told him I don't have a phone I am not working yet, I am still learning and he smiled and promised to buy me a phone, which I told him if it's not just a gift he should not buy but if he wants to dash me for no reason like having intention of relationship or sex etc he should. Then he said he just meant to buy for me as a friend and I thank him.

So few days later he gave me 50,000 to buy myself a phone and I collected it and appreciated it.

So we communicate normally but just as a friend.

Last month he started asking me out, I told him am not ready for relationship because the kind of suffering and stress I pass through to survive totally made me lose interest for anything like that, he got angry and told me to send back his 50,000 to him or I should accept him. He is threatening me because he knows I cannot afford such money to pay him so I told him to give me time, I will refund it just to avoid problem but he said no time will be given that either I should give him my virginity or if I don't pay before next 7 days he will destroy my life, either by jazz or attack.

I just don't know what to do I need advice.

You don't ever want to have sex with someone that threatens you with jazzing you.

If he wants the phone back, he can have it. If he wants his money, he can have it when you get it. Case closed.

You are not married, but living together and probably having sex, that's fornication and no wonder your life is not progressing.

However we see similar stories in marriage too.

In the traditional view, the man is the breadwinner and the woman is the housekeeper.

If the roles are reversed, and the woman is the breadwinner, why is it always hard for the man to accept the role of the housekeeper.

The world is not as black and white as it used to be. Some women earn much more than their husbands. I believe we should also be relaxed on the traditional view of the home.

Where is the data for the research or survey that came up with those numbers?

Nigerians are good at arbitrarily appropriating numbers and calling it research.

ikezudon:
All of una tire me sha... This is a 3D representation of the house na. It hasn't been built... Or OP no get realistic pictures of the building...

That's the pic the guy used on his FB post for the house.

That he is Buhari's nephew doesn't necessarily mean that the money to build the house is government loot. There is high likelihood that it is, but it is not 100%.

The thing is that in the North, the wealth is in few hands and it is a family thing.

One gboza to makeup artists.

Let's see her without the makeup, then we can establish her age with all the wrinkles on her face.

LawLab247:
Or so she thought.

"Or so she thought" will imply an established wrongdoing on the part of Reno. You should rather say "or so she thinks"

Godmademan:
It's unlikely that he did it on purpose. People who try to 'work' their admission often get into such mess. After studying for a while they find out they weren't admitted after all. I don't see the gain in going through the rigors of postings and classes. It's however shocking that he went through to final year. Was he being listed for the exams and seeing results? If yes, then he could have a reason to hire a lawyer.

There is no way you could take exams if your name is not on the exam list. And there was no way he could have results for the different professional exams. But dude continued faking it.

LawLab247:
To be honest, that was not really necessary. Very immature of both Reno and wife. You just embarrassed a fan.

It was very very necessary.

Do you understand what she meant by "nice pictures" in her post?

It is important she makes it obvious to all the women out there that are having lustful thoughts towards her husband that he is never going to go along with it.

Well such stories abound. I know this guy who faked studying Medicine in UNN, even the family came with dance troupe from his village for his "induction" only for him to be caught later, and no one could believe he was not registered, even his very close friends in the department didn't know. He was attending classes and medical postings, but he was not a recognized student of the department.

They should just say, the bought armored tank for Boko haram, and stop deceiving themselves cos we are not fooled.

If Zik and his party had not stricken out the "right to secede" from the constitution. There might have been no war, and maybe Nigeria would have broken into as much as 12 different states.

Reex12:
olodo zzorr Is fair

all this simps looking for zzorr's attention like that richmond500
*spits*

You realize your post also makes you the same as the "simps" you're berating.

Xandre:
He rejected.

He was referred to a Psychiatrist.

That's the problem. We take seeing a psychiatrist and being on meds as either a sign of weakness or fear being termed crazy.

InEvitable0000:
I was sacked from my peaceful job just because I was honest.
Should I go against my principles just for dishonest riches?

A good name is better than riches...(that's my motto and my daily slogan)

Just returned from the police station yesterday for something I didn't commit. I was only trying to help and now my help has brought me this.

Why must the world be like this when it can be a better place?

So what else is going on in your life that is driving you towards suicide. Let's hear the whole story.

Cutehector:
Two of una need cane

Why? You must be very ignorant.

Feelinso:
Good afternoon nairalander's
Pls i need advice concerning my girlfriend genotype , I love her so much and she best thing to happen to in 2021 ,

There is no problem there. As long as you can confirm that you are AA.

Do the test in two different labs to be sure. You two can marry with no fear of giving birth to sickle cell anemic children.

pozehnani:
That's not what I meant. Stop misquoting me.

Do you know how many people their parents handsoff on training them or even died halfway training them in the university? Yet they didn't die.

All I'm saying is, she should be strong and look for a plan B instead of wallowing in self-pity. Got that?

I once had a similar experience where I went and enrolled for a course and my dad told me he never approved of my going for that course therefore I should not come to him for anything. I tried to be strong for myself and with my little savings I was able to scale through.

It was pretty tough to the point I had to cut my hair just to get that out of my expenses and be able to meet up with bus fare and other payments in school. Buying of handouts and textbooks. But in the end I came out the best student in my set. I was just in my early 20s then and I had not even started doing boyfriend stuff. so no help from any guy. Just me and my God. So what are we not saying?

Let her brace up and try to be an achiever. It will only make her stronger, better and more recillient in the future.

You are taking her fainting to be synonymous to wanting to commit suicide. She heard a tough news and her brain reacted to the news she heard, and that was it.

How she deals with her problem moving forward is a different thing entirely.

Her fainting is not even a sign of weakness but an indication of how our biology differs.

pozehnani:
Fainting will not solve anything. She better go and look for a job and switch to part-time. Times are hard for the old man and he cannot come and go and kill himself.

I wish her all the best.

Dude, you think she wanted to faint? Smh, you talking like her fainting was meant to be a solution to the news she heard.

The world is now filled with people who show no form of empathy at all.

Jones90:
Fear women. I repeat fear women. Those creatures are complicated.

For the fact that she video their loan agreement signifies that she already never had the intentions to pay back the loan. And she knew it will lead to court case hence she outsmart the man by getting her evidence ready.... This is always the outcome dating your business partner, your employee etc. Once you start dating them, just consider yourself fvcked up

Did you read where it says, sexual intercourse would mean she didn't need to pay back the loan? I guess she needed evidence of that hence taking a video. So it is not about fearing women.

Remove the immoral component of this, and I think I like the lady.

So if I can get the facts straight.

The man signed a detailed loan agreement for 15 million with the lady and in the agreement, it specified that if they had sex, she wouldn't have to pay back the loan. And he also stated that vocally.

The man had sex with her, never gave her the money and still took her to court to pay back the loan. This case is interesting.

If the man can't produce evidence of transfer to the woman, via a bank statement then he should at least be charged for perjury for wasting the court's time. Also pay the lady's legal fees.

If there is anything, the lady should be the one suing him for breaking the terms of the agreement and not giving her the loan even after the agreement had been signed.

Nonyeadamu:
What others are looking for, you saw it on a platter of gold and you're complaining.

Dude you no get shame?

She walks into your bathroom when you're bathing. How come you don't lock the door to your bathroom when you're in there when you know there is a possibility of someone walking in in you?

Now supposing this story is true, that means she has seen you naked and you've seen her naked. I bet you are enjoying the attention and the thought of being desired, and deep inside want something to happen but your brain is advising you against it.

But then I'm almost 99% certain this story is a fabrication.

Solution, never let her into your house or into your bathroom. "The river does not swallow someone it doesn't see his feet"

I bet she is not Nigerian. No Nigerian woman will pursue a relationship with a man with more than 2 years younger than her not to talk of 32 years younger. That means when you were born she could as well had a 14 year old son or daughter.

Reading comments to see any mention of village people.

The guy was battling depression and couldn't get help needed to remain in school. And I'll blame that on our poor mental health seeking behavior.

Clinical depression is real, and if you find yourself battling with thoughts of guilt, hopelessness, and think you're better off dead than alive, seek for help.

Coldie:
Black people. To your surprise there won't be an outrage, but if he had been white they would have accused him of racism this and that.

With the way black people are annoying if the roles were reversed and blacks were white's and whites black we for show them pepper

"We"? Dude, speak for yourself.

kabe1:
Wike was/is an Employee of the state, an employee of Rivers state so were you.

Wike was also a local government chairman, minister and now a two term governor.

Both Ameachi and Wike have the same Résumé.

Wike was not two time Speaker of the HOA.

That the man looks frail, does not mean he could not be calling the shots.

Rugaria:
Just as some people will call for the arrest, trial and possible elimination of Nnamdi Kanu with his ESN, but will get highly agitated and emotional if the ubiquitous DSS tries to arrest one Sunday Igboho!
Two people fighting gingerly for their people, but one is projected as a necessary nationalist, the other framed as a runaway hooligan disturbing the country with his "victimhood"..The same press. The same country. The same task but different appraisals!
The thing I have learnt far back with the relationship between Nigerias ethnicities is that some groups project their rabid tribalism by accusing others of the same"crime"..

Nnamdi Kanu is still a runaway hooligan.

I could have sworn on my life that FG had him either locked away in a black site or killed him, only to see the coward several months after his supposed escape from Nigeria.