₦airaland Forum

This is not true. A marriage will be toxic regardless of parents approval or not. I personally know of marriages recommended by both parents collapse, while my cousin's 'forbidden' marriage to his wife is waxing strong. His parents didn't come for the wedding, now they are all chummy with the wife. Her parents did not make her husband act irresponsibly to his wife, that's all on him.

tabithababy:
.

Oh this is the genesis of your problem. You didn't listen to them

If you refuse to listen to your parents on any issue especially marital issue, you will regret it till you die. That's the pure truth

You love him more than he loves you. Love is still in your eyes, when it finally clears off, you will run with your two legs touching your back. Do you think if his parents did not agree to the marriage, he will go ahead

My advice. Forget about that marriage. He will marry his side chick very soon

Yes and No, hard to do in real life. Most people expect something in return from their partners like fidelity, loyalty etc for their love. However, unconditional love does exist.

truthsayer009:
Just putting it out there, nothing like unconditional love Ma'am. Both for you & LordKo.

You men here on Nairaland always go for the shallow/materialistic types because you guys think they are more aesthetically pleasing, when they show you who they are or you lack the financial means to keep up, you guys lump ALL women in your bashing.

OP, if you don't want a 'shallow' mate there are many down to earth Nigerian women of substance that you can choose from. However, will you go for them?

LordKO:
Sharap there, lol. So stating the obvious - recognizing virtuousness of the women I have known - is now a boastful act ni! Well, I always preach submissiveness for women and love for men - difference remains in nomenclature and application - because nature made both genders differently.

As a man, I know that I can go all the way to get my woman the best of anything out there without minding whether it will cost me my life or means of livelihood, but I can't expect same from my woman not because she's bad but because she's not naturally made in same manner.

Neither love nor submissiveness is a sign of weakness and none is superior to each other.

Happy Sunday before I send you e-slap.

lol this is generalization. There are many many women on this earth that love AND submit to their men unconditionally, there are some women that love their men unconditionally without the need for submission and their men are okay with that too. Your personal preference/opinions and anecdotes about women in your bubble does not represent ALL women.

Well what social media does is shine light on an issue that would otherwise be swept under the carpet. It shames responsible authorities into doing the right thing. Social media is not just about selfies.

SEGLIZ:
how many justice has social media brought?
do the needful this is not about selfie.
a good number don't know their right right or how to seek for justice that is more reason they result social media.

Social media is actually the best place, with collective outrage it aids in getting justice. Do you think the senator would have been in trouble if the video was sent to a Nigerian police that dances to the tune of the highest bidder? They can do BOTH, go to the police and post on social media, so we the people can hold the police accountable.

SEGLIZ:
why bring it here? get the woman arrested immediately since the evidence is still fresh make a documentation of the evidence.
involve the human right group around your area, social media trial is not enough people are best start paying taking responsibility of their actions and inactions.

You kneel before your husband? I am not trying to start something, I am just curious to know if kneeling is a thing. Does it have to do with culture? My grandparents were old fashioned, I never saw my grandma kneel before her husband nor my mom.

Guest007:
oh, he's one of them...

man never kneel @ your shrine

I kneel when necessary but I can't kneel up and down the place for nothing

Don't you guys ever get tired? Same topic everyday. If you don't want or need women, then stay away from women. No need to write or make zillion threads.

You are right. As with everything else, our Nigerian cuisine never evolved. Our cuisine mostly consists of recipes that our fore fathers created. We don't have chefs in Nigeria, we have cooks. No innovation.

Along time ago women were considered properties of men. First their father's when they are single, then their husband's when they got married. However, the world has progressed (except Nigeria), women have fought for and gotten rights. The world now knows human beings are not properties to be obtained. Properties don't have rights, women as humans do. OP, you need to change your circle.

Sex is not the only thing women get from a relationship. Maybe she loves you and still wants to be in the relationship despite the sexual issue. You should have a frank talk with her, maybe sex with you has become monotonous (she is now used to your style), maybe you should switch it up.

Funkyswagzz:
I guess ur right buh why does she want to be wiv me when it's clear the relationship is not going well??

She is starting to lose interest, you no longer turn her on.

Why are you people focusing on feminists? Forget feminists, what about the children that the coward males decided to forsake? Are children feminists too?

Ok. No proof. Got it.

ubunja:
all I'm hearing is someone on periods. I'm bored.

*yawn* Please try and be original.

Meanwhile, since I am the only adult here, it's my responsibility to steer this thread back to a more rational and mature one. I am still waiting on your proof that women lie so much about rape that every woman that speaks up about rape has to be lying.

ubunja:
you need maxipads?

Done? Nope, you think you can throw a weak PETTY sexist comeback and suddenly act like you are above it all. You are an immature joke.

ubunja:
you done?

Now you're sinking lower, back in the day this used to be secondary school boys go to come back. I expected better from the Nairaland king of the alpha males.

ubunja:
finish menstruating and we'll talk.

aww why so emotional? Did I hurt your feelings? I am actually disappointed, I didn't know you were one of the weak ones that revert to sexist tropes when you run out of things to say. Now that I have seen you, sad to say you are just like the rest of them, you become emotional when you have nothing else to contribute. Shame.

ubunja:
lol I'm thinking you've a brain.
You just on your period

wow now that you know you misunderstood my post, you are moving the goal post? Ok. I will play, where is your own statistics ( don't tell me Neymar or Ronaldo) that show how often women lie about rape ? The statistics you have seen and read that make you instantly suspicious of women that speak up about rape? or is the burden of proof only on the women?

ubunja:
This is the same thing we're debating in this rape thing. Men will always ask for proof. Excuses won't do. Prove it or it doesn't exist. Get that through your head

FAIL

You thought I made a claim because you lack comprehension, the PROOF is on this thread, you even quoted it.

I requested you go back and read so you would understand.

You failed.

You keep asking for a link that you shouldn't have asked for in the first place if you had understood the damn post.

Yet you persist.

Why?

Now you are acting all ignorant.

ubunja:
You made a claim.

I asked you to Back it.

You failed.

I'm saying let's leave it.

I don't see the need for you to keep pushing your words my direction.

What are you trying to prove cause you've failed already to prove your claim.

Don't get carried away for nothing

yea it's best you run away now lol, you obviously can't contribute anything concrete if you cannot even comprehend a simple post. Go back to your right wing forum where you get all the crap you regurgitate for your bros here on Nairaland.

ubunja:
then let's not waste each other's time. Bye.

As long as you are been willfully ignorant because you cannot accept you misunderstood my post TWICE because you lack comprehension, you thought I was referring to an actual survey when I wasn't then you are the one wasting your time. I don't know how else to explain hypothetical, sorry I can't fix stupid.

ubunja:
as long as you're not posting the link you're wasting my time.

You are just embarrassing yourself further, how can there be a link to a hypothetical anonymous survey? Abi you don't know what hypothetical means? O dear you are even worse than I thought. This is a cut and paste of my post, maybe you will finally figure it out and shut your ignorant mouth. *hint* it's in the first line. I know you can do it, I am rooting for you.

"If an anonymous survey is done today, the survey will say 90% of rapes are NOT reported.

lol do you even know what closure means?? Obviously you have no clue what you are talking about, human beings can get closure whichever means will help them find that completion for their grief. For some telling their stories to warn other unsuspecting victims is a way to get closure, for some is to confront the person, for some speaking to a therapist is enough. A therapist would recommend you to seek the means that will bring you closure. You should pity yourself for thinking you have authority to speak on an issue you absolutely know nothing about. You need to log off and go have a talk with the women in your circle you might learn something new today or not."

ubunja:
just post the link and shut up.

It is only a man that can type this with open eyes and ten fingers.

warriorguy:
Is rape the worst sin in the world? What of murderers? Should all the unborn children aborted come out for protest against aborters? Can't someone Forgive rape that happened years ago. Don't you beg God for Forgiveness? Oya go and use Tyre and fuel to burn pastor biodon and leave his wife a widow because he raped Busayo's 15years ago

So you are not going to go back to read or you still can't comprehend? How can there be a link for an hypothetical anonymous survey?!!! you clowns on NL amuse me, you are very thick and to think you are supposed to be some hero to the male folks around these parts. *face palm*

ubunja:
tag me when you finally get that link

I won't hold my breath

*sighs* I don't know how to help you, comprehension is obviously a problem for you. You need to go back and read my posts, this time, very slowly. When you finally get it, come back and quote me. I can't keep typing what I have already typed in earlier posts it's exhausting.

ubunja:
I will make it really easy for you.

Go to Google, find a study or poll supporting that 90% crap then post the link here.

Not articles TALKING ABOUT IT LIKE YOU DOING HERE I need those PROVING it

welp you just proved my point, you absolutely have no clue. Here you are, a black man parroting right wing talking points. Typical right wing MO, if I don't have anything else to say, blame feminists. Have you owned them yet? You need to be able to think for yourself, be an independent thinker and stop regurgitating what you read on right wing forums.

ubunja:
don't tire me with your hogwash.
That 90% stat is crap western feminists pull out if their asses but have never even proved. Yet they love parroting it and teaching losers like you to repeat it

You're just a parrot.

If an anonymous survey is done today, the survey will say 90% of rapes are NOT reported.

lol do you even know what closure means?? Obviously you have no clue what you are talking about, human beings can get closure whichever means will help them find that completion for their grief. For some telling their stories to warn other unsuspecting victims is a way to get closure, for some is to confront the person, for some speaking to a therapist is enough. A therapist would recommend you to seek the means that will bring you closure. You should pity yourself for thinking you have authority to speak on an issue you absolutely know nothing about. You need to log off and go have a talk with the women in your circle you might learn something new today or not.

ubunja:
not seeking closure but seeking attention. Closure comes by talking to a psychiatrist.
Just attention whoring.

And don't even bring that 90% of rapes are not reported sewage that's without proof whatsoever.

If 90% of rapes are not reported how do you even know they're happening? By reading stories in Social Media. I pity you.

Well good for you, that time healed yours. However that is not the reality of most rape victims.

No, I am not drunk, but you lack comprehension. In my post I said "women are not reporting" in reference to you saying "how will reporting a rape after more than 15 yrs later...". If you could comprehend, then you would have known I was saying women speaking up on social media about their rapes are NOT trying to report rapes but rather to seek closure and healing for their traumatic experience. However since you brought that up, I can tell you that if an anonymous survey is done in Nigeria today, it will say 90% of rapes are NOT reported. Go and drink on that! not the cheap stuff you have been drinking if you cannot read and understand a simple post.

ubunja:
time is a healer

I was also raped as a little boy. Time has helped. I've said this years ago here. If time can't heal your trauma then talk to someone.

Oh and yes, women are reporting rape. I don't even know what the hell you mean by "women are not reporting rapes" are you drunk??

No one is 'reporting' a rape, or looking for things to work in their favor. That ship has already sailed, how would looking for things to work in your favor make up for experiencing one of the most traumatizing experiences a human being should have to endure? Women are coming out with their stories because it gives them closure or helps other victims get theirs. The trauma from rape is not something that just goes away because time has passed.

ubunja:
you said a man can simply reject an accusation. And I'm saying how will reporting a rape after more than 15 yrs later improve things or work in your favor. ?

I see you didn't answer my question. Your thread is illogical, judging the behavior of many based on ONE. Does that sound like something a sensible person will say?

GraGra247:
You are the person that lacks common sense and logic and not my thread.

When you are raped please keep it till 20 years before you report it. Tell ladies you mentor to do the same thing.

Just tell everyone that those 20 years your mouth couldn't speak & you never gossiped. You became deaf and dumb.

Since toddlers can even reason more than some full fledged adult females in this country.

She is not telling her stories to prove she was raped. Was he arrested? Was he charged? Is there an ongoing investigation? she is telling her stories to get closure and probably warn unsuspecting young girls of the pastor.

ubunja:
if rape is hard to prove same day what makes you think it will be easier to prove 10 years later?