₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
This (the bolded in particular) just goes to show that you men cannot handle half the shit you do or dish out. But, we already knew that (some of us though)

Lol we can handle it if you give us the choice to handle it. Lying about your past doesn’t give a man the choice to accept you or not. Lilian left Ubi because she found out he had a child before they got married, how he thought he could take that secret to the grave still remains an unsolved mystery.

Women aren’t as bothered about a man’s sexual past as a man is bothered about a woman’s. Not telling or lying when asked can bring hurt to the relationship in future. A man finds out you did things even 10 years before he met you can change his mind towards you 20 years later. Would you rather lose a budding relationship or the family you have invested years to build?

Telling when not asked makes the man open up to you too, it builds trust as you didn’t have to tell him, most men overlook when they are told vs when they find out, telling puts you in a position to craft the story to your advantage. Two people can keep a secret only when one is dead.

If there’s anything I have learnt it is that we live in a small world, the person who did the abortion for you may be your sister in-laws colleagues husband.

We F*ck this.

Annie is the toxic one. Sane people walk out of unpleasant situations e.g Lilian Esoro left Ubi, till today nobody knows why she walked, Anita, Paul's wife walked too, no drama, no public show of shame. What did Annie expect after insulting her husband and his family online?

Sensible people know this for a fact, you can't control people, you can only control yourself. If something threatens your peace of mind, remove yourself from the situation. The only catalyst to a genuine change of behavior from Tuface would be the fear of losing Annie. If 2face continues to hang out with Pero despite Annie's objection then he doesn't mind losing Annie and that's because Annie isn't worth been afraid to lose.

The main culprit in this story isn't Annie or Tuface but marriage in itself. Marriage breeds familiarity and familiarity breeds contempt.

I can relate. Last week Friday when I was going out, one girl ran mad from smoking colorado, she undressed in front of me and many guys and we didn’t cheat.

OP you are capping, Nigerian girls never come for just sex. No matter how good looking or wealthy you are, the average naija girl will come for commitment even if you have someone already.

EcomPlus:
Till now, as a married man I have 4 married ladies that are my besties.

Our friendship started way back from secondary school where we created a study group together. Though thoughts of sex do arise, but we have already established a boundary & we stuck to it till now.

It’s a matter of time you will Bleep one or more of them. Married man having female besties should not be chastising anybody. If the girls are married I’m sure their husbands are not down with the bullshit friendship.

Why are they coming after him? Is he the married one? He doesn’t owe anybody any loyalty. He’s just a coward locking his page. The likes of cee-c and tboss got worse bashings.

90% of the bashers will do the exact same thing Tega and Boma did given the opportunity.

The one with the bigger yansh

Congrats to the bride, best of luck to you.

Two married women and two married men have been sent to the bbn house.

First married man - Thin tall Tony cheated
Second married man- Mike Adeyemi stayed faithful.

First married woman - Ka3na cheated.
Second married woman - Tega cheated.

From this analysis 100% of married women and only 50% of married men cheat.

Yet men are the scum.

Women are not more skilled than men in cheating. When I was in the world, it was me who remind my affair partner to delete their chats and call logs.

Basically the guy has to exercise maximum caution for 2 major reasons.

1) If she gets caught and kicked out, the burden of being committed will be on you.

2) you don’t know the extent to which her man will go to deal with both of you. Her guy may be a cultist or know people that know cultists. No one wants to die for nothing.

Another reason why it seems girls don’t get caught is because girls don’t have to lie about their relationship to cheat. A girl will tell you she loves her man but still ride you like a bull. You are careful when texting or calling, you make sure she is the one with the phone and she’s comfortable before you start flirting.

Most guys lie to cheat, so the side piece has no idea about the existence of their gfs. Side chick sends messages or call or sends nudes when gf is viewing pictures on her man’s phone. Bursted.

Button line is women aren’t smarter cheaters. The men still do all the work to keep the relationship secret.

1) At a neutral venue - once a guy and girl agree to set up a meeting at a motel/hotel. They both are in agreement to have sex. 100 percent of the time they have both planned and consented to having sex before choosing a location.

2) A babes room - Girls do not invite guys they don’t trust to their houses/apartment. Once a girl invites you over, it is very likely that sex will happen.

3) A guys house - A girl can visit a guy just for netflix, to use his wifi, to find somewhere to go because she doesn’t want to stay at home. A guys place is the least likely on your list for sex to happen.

Aurelius1:
In Delta State, a man who secretly forgives a cheating wife and continue eating her food and making love to her won't live to see the next 3 months. If he must forgive, the woman must confess with her own mouth and a sort of prayer/cleansing is done. If not, the man will surely die. I've seen countless number of cases.

https://www.nairaland.com/4488657/how-cheating-wife-led-husband/4#70475550

Lol, sorry I don’t believe this. I lived in Abraka for a short while and there were a lot of cheating wives. They also say if a child makes an adult fall down the child has to make a sacrifice before the adult gets up, all of which were mere traditional myth.

Even if it were true, a woman will prefer her husband dies than confess to adultery.

prettypraise:
Work on yourself, stop cheating, and then you can earn others not to cheat. If a married woman cheats, she should be forgiven and loved again. This is what God wants you to do as a man. If your wife cheats, try to fix the issue, go for counseling, pray for her and love her again.... Learn to forgive cheating. You can do it. Ask God for grace.

Many men forgive their cheating spouses, they just never talk about it. It’s a woman’s thing to announce to friends, family, church and social media that her husband is cheating before she forgives. Men on the other hand just forgive and never mention it to anybody.

This is why you think men do not forgive their cheating spouses, you hardly hear of it.

Nothing can keep a woman who doesn’t want to be kept. Whether you she fell in love with your money or your qualities, she can decide to leave whenever she wants. Money will help you replace her faster tho.

Rude boy probably has 5,000 girls in his dm trying to continue where estranged wife stopped. That’s the power of money.

You can’t spike anything. The longer you are with a person the less frequent the sex is. When you meet a new girl, just looking at her will get you an erection, just sitting next to her will make you Hot. Once she becomes yours and sex becomes regular then the decline hits, she no longer makes you Hot. You only have sex when there’s an urge for it.

It also doesn’t help that women hardly initiate sex, over time men get tired of being the only ones asking for sex and that takes a toll on sex life. If frequent sex is a priority in your life don’t get married.

A wise man once said ‘’if you want to stop having sex, get married’’.

Obviously he serves himself at home and that’s what she’s used to. A simple ‘honey can you dish out my food’ will suffice. You will dish out your own food if hunger catch you.

Even your next relationship will end up been boring after a while, if your partner doesn’t give you problems just enjoy the boredom or find a way to make things spicy. You can’t rely on a girl to make the relationship fun, that’s a man’s responsibility.

mariahAngel:
You wan die?

The husband and the side chick never die na . I like to help out where I can. I’m doing the Lord’s work.

Text me, let’s cheat on him back . 50 50.

When Kcee was popping, he denied been married, he called the woman his sister. Now that career has hit rock bottom he remembers they are married.

You are using the word owe wrongly, if I lend you money, you owe me and I’m fully entitled to what you owe me. Owing and entitlement goes hand in hand.

Your grandmother is a good woman but that doesn’t me she owed them, she did what she did because she wanted to do it, she did not have to. Nobody would compel her if she didn’t do it.

To your example about Obi Cubana, let’s assume he sent the brother abroad to study, the brother was caught sniffing coke and got deported, he got a job for the brother, the brother wouldn’t show up so he got fired. He then put his brother on 150k allowance per month but that wouldn’t maintain bro’s lifestyle, bro wouldn’t get a job. After two years of collecting allowance bro comes with a plan, goes to Obi and says he needs #5m to execute his idea, but Obi knows bro is a black hole, the money will disappear so Obi says a resounding NO. Bro comes to nairaland to cry that his wealthy brother wouldn’t give him #5m for his idea, people tell bro you are 33 years old Obi doesn’t owe you anything, then you, from nowhere start getting angry.

Most entitled people only speak out when the giving stop, they don’t recount how much they have collected. So my question to you is when does owing you sibling stop? or is it forever? You have to budget a cut of your pay to give the sibling who got the same education and opportunity you got but who has chosen to be useless.

OP in one word you have/had sexual feelings towards your sister. I think the feeling is still there, you would have had sex if she didn’t hit you when you smooched her.

Your obsession with your sister shows that the feeling may still be there, your sister is staying in her lane so you wouldn’t get the wrong impression. I’m sure before that incident you were very close and that was what made you think she had sexual feelings for you. The boundaries she has established are very healthy.

I have heard of people who had sex with their cousins and they all started from talking, playing and been too close till it happened. It wasn’t preplanned.

Cuddling

Amakaoyekachi1:
Hello Nairaland people, I am in a serious dilemma, I am a legally married woman who is based in Nigeria and married to a Nigerian student in Canada, I have been unable to reach him for several months now, no communication whatsoever, his family members are not doing anything regarding the situation on ground, I am really worried on what could be the situation of things over there, he will be done with school in less than 4months. Please what could be wrong? He has promised to call for me soon, so I am surprised I cant reach him for this long. I really want to see my husband. This situation at hand as made me depressed and I have been unable to function. What do I do? Please help!

I think your husband has moved on. When I was in school, I had a mate who was newly wed, he had a daughter just few weeks before he left naija. He met a Chinese chick and they moved in together, after school he went back home to divorce his wife. He’s married to the Chinese chick now.

Your man isn’t dead, if he was his family would have told you. He’s most likely moved on. For him to ghost you tho, I hope he hasn’t heard anything bad about you? Hope you haven’t been busy with another man since he left the country?

Anyways, I hope you’ve heard from him now. All the best. Cheers.

Nifemy4:
I am 31 year old , with a first degree in biochemistry , I don’t speak french neither do I have anyone in Canada .
I tried applying for the Canada express entry but it seem like an uphill task , I haven’t written iETlS yet . But it seem like by forecast I may not be meeting the score for the selection .

Kindly advise , what additional certification can I add up to raise my projected score if all things been equal . thank you

The biggest point givers are work experience, education and IELTS.

Get work experience, get a masters degree or study hard for the IELST, the exam is very very easy, lots of Nigerians do no like taking the exam, I have done the exam twice and they were really simple.

Also even if your point isn’t up to the cut off, you can still get a provincial nomination if your skills are in demand in certain provinces. The province nomination will boost you up 700 points.

If all these fails, you may want to consider the education route, apply for a study permit instead.

Sleeknigga:
In
Its small boys like you ppl that want to marry your agemate but wetin elder sees lyingdown pikin no fit see am even he climbs palmtree

I won’t marry someone who was born when I was 21 year old. If you like call me tata, I don’t want to see what an elder sees lying down biko. Let me remain on the palm tree.

To the OP, too much for who? Is the gap too much for you? Or for society? If you are fine with it carry on.

For me it’s too much, I can’t have my wife’s friends kneeling to greet me.

I don’t want to be called bros or sir by her friends husbands.

Our interests will be so unaligned that there will always have to be a compromise. Our ways of handling issues would be totally different.

Because you are a decade and half apart, you may not appeal to her fashion wise, she wants you to wear things you aren’t comfortable in or vice versa.

It may be tough to know if she’s with you because she really likes you or because you are due for marriage and she wants to get married.

By the time you are 50 she will be 35 hmmmm.

If I have lots of money and I want a trophy wife then I could consider 15 years gap, if not the chances that she will cheat with someone within her age group is very high.

Whether you have good intentions or not, talking about feelings with a minor makes you a shameless man. If you don’t want people to pressure you into marriage, stay away from relationships till you are ready to get married.

What kind of friendship would a 32 year old man be having with a 16year old? you are grooming a child for your own sick pleasure and proud of it.

For you the lady, just because he later married you doesn’t stop your husband from been a paedophile, I hope you watch his activities around children. You were groomed, he didn’t give you a choice because you were incapable of making a choice at that age, you may need years of intense therapy to understand the damages done to you.

I wonder where the girl’s parents are in all of this. If you are above 18, come close to my 16 year old daughter, I will feed your pinni to the dogs. Spits.

‘’When a guy fumbles, they say boys will be boys. When a girl fumbles the exact same fumble, they say she is wayward or wasn’t raised well’’

‘’ I do think that the tide is changing with this generation, more women are realizing that they are more than what the society expects them to be’’

From her write up it is unclear whether she’s advocating for more training for the boys or less training for the girls.

I do think this rhetoric of girls being better raised than boys has been repeated so much it’s starting to sound believable.

The writer wants women to stop being labelled wayward for sleeping around just as men aren’t labelled wayward for fumbling the same fumble.

Men are the most delighted with the changing tide of this generation. A girl’s fumble or waywardness or rebellion against societal expectations is almost every man’s dream come true.

It’s not in my place to ‘allow’ or ‘disallow’ the decisions taken by an adult. If he’s good enough for her, he’s good enough for me.