₦airaland Forum

PropertyDeals:
Courtesy: Daily Information

I blame d woman for not being strong enough, d man for not giving her d emotional support she needs and d son for being a fried fish. Anyway, Shit happens!

Did y'all notice that the unborn baby's father is also his/her step bro. The baby's mother is also d grandmother

Epic!!!

[quote author=CHoccolaTE post=74427820][/quote]This is what a wise man told me, "my boy, a woman is always right even when she's wrong. If u love peace, let her have it."

Dearie, every man needs a woman and vice versa. I hope we can both smile now?

CHoccolaTE:
What does a woman bring into marriage?
Are you serious?


FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE for one
In this day and age there is hardly any married woman that sits her behind home and waits completely for her husband to bring everything money to the home. No woman will refuse to work knowing that she can get a job and make life better for her children

Even if its petty trading or hair making married women have something going on to contribute to the house, its only in rare cases that you see them not working or searching for jobs cases like when the husband is filthy rich .The economy is too hard for so many people for wives to just sit around doing nothing.
If you go into Nigerian markets over 70% of the shops there are run by women so I don't know why men still think they are solely responsible for the upkeep of the family.

Besides that when a married woman gives birth to children whose name does the child bear? Whose lineage does the child carry on? Is it her lineage or her husbands lineage?

Despite losing her beauty and youth to pregnancy and risking her life during childbirth the children end up belonging to the man and his family.

Financial Assistance...
That's ya answer....keyword "ASSISTANCE"

I did mention that men r looking for a woman they can INVEST in while women r looking for financially stable men.
You confirmed this by saying that women contribute via trade and any other means. Most of these means were funded by their husbands.

NAME BEARING
I believe ya a Christian, correct me if I'm wrong. Matthew 1 talked bout the lineage of Christ. How many women were mentioned?
If u don't wanna submit to ya husband, den don't submit. Be d head of d house and ask him to submit to u.

LOSE OF BEAUTY
Beauty is vain but a woman who fears d Lord shall be praised. If d man ya with is only with u cause u av a pretty body n face. That man will cheat on u.
Secondly, no need to cry bout ya beauty. Everybody gets old. I know a single lady thats 70yrs+; she ain't beautiful, she's OLD.

CHILDREN
Have u ever heard any where in Nigeria were a woman pays a man's groom price?
From the eastern part of Nigeria, if d bride price of d woman isn't paid, den d children belongs to d woman's family.

WOMEN ARE DESPERATE FOR MARRIAGE

When a woman gets to 30/35yrs, she starts going to Shiloh. Men r not known for that.
When a woman clocks 30, d society calls her name. The society is made up of men n women. Men don't call names, women do.

CHoccolaTE:
@bold, men benefit more from marriage not women. The only reason many women get married is to avoid social stigma of being single in old age or to bear kids, they don't necessarily need marriage where they will be forced to defer authority to another person and obey and follow his commands all the days of their life.

Also men die earlier because many of them fail to develop strong loving bonds with their kids and in their old age they start suffering depression and loneliness and misery and die earlier of heart conditions and other diseases.

Based on that source I shared, MARRIED MEN DON'T GET TO OLD AGE UNLIKE MARRIED WOMEN.

Talking bout benefit... This is naija, 90% of all women see marriage as a poverty alleviation program. I know u will disagree with this but u won't disagree with the fact that you would want to marry someone that is financially stable (poverty alleviation program in disguise). Men will not necessarily look for that in a woman but rather a woman that he can invest in.

Curious question... What does a woman bring into marriage?

Dearie, the world has been rigged to favour women

NandiIfeoma:
Simple. Don't date until you're ready to commit or only date casually and be upfront about it being casual or a fuckbuddy thing with whoever you're interested in

But I want to settle down, something meaningful not casual.

Most times I see end while the relationship is still at infancy not when I'm wooing d angel

CHoccolaTE:
Thank be honest I dont think the challenges men face in marriages are more than the ones women face. Women are expected to join theor husbands in breadwinning, they are expected to also come home and do house chores after work while nobody places any such obligation on the man. This has made many men lazy and inconsiderate to their wives, they don't assist her at home all they do is demand obedience. Some pregnant women don't even get help from their husbands, even the ones nursing babies and losing sleep every night will still have to wake up and go out to hustle like their husbands.
And women are supposed to put up with men's bad behaviours like cheating and infidelity. If he cheats she is told to pray for him and dress sexy and get in shape. Nobody makes such ridiculous demands from men.

Women are the ones that put up with more crap in marriage so of course they complain more. A man can easily replace his wife for another for flimsy reasons if she annoys him and nobody queries him but a woman that abandons her bad husband is called all sorts of insultive names whether she is justified in leaving or not.

Because men don't talk, we all think of dem as monsters.
Waking up at night...men do it too
House chores... Men do it too

Now lemme bring something to d light... The rate at which married men die is higher than single men. They mostly die as a result of depression, heart attack and stroke. These illnesses are more psychological than physical (I stand to b corrected).
Women on the other than...at different age group live longer when they are married. That is...death rate for married between the ages of 20-29 is lower than the death rate of single women in that same age group.

Dearie, ask yourself this, who wants marriage more, men or women?

The influence of marriage on the death rate of men and women.
Source: https://www.jstor.org/stable/2965087?seq=1#metadata_info_tab_contents

CHoccolaTE:
@bold part of your post, many people face emotional trauma, both males and females. The fact that a man has been treated badly by some selfish girls does not justify his closing his heart to love and failing to show proper love to his wife.

Many women have been scammed by selfish women as well, they have had their youth wasted by players who promises them marriage then ran off after years of dating, they have been deceived by male criminals who either stole their money or cheated them in a business deal. Am sure you will agree with me that it won't be fair for women who have suffered in men's hands to decide to shut their hear s and tray men like shit that don't deserve respect
Bad people abound everywhere and will always do stupid things to others, you don't have to maltreat innocent people who haven't hurt you because of the bad experiences you had.

Also, this part of your post
"Most women believe that the best way to show affection or appreciation is with their body hence the line, " use ya bottom power." This idea makes d avg man to see them as nothing but tools for sexual satisfaction.", Like I said earlier, don't treat good people badly cos of the actions of bad people. There are still many decent women who show love by encouraging their men and giving advice and pampering them like their babies, not all women use sex or been ttom power. Until you are sure a woman is one those people that believe in using bottom power then don't generalize and treat her as a ere sex object.


Anyways the point of the thread is to let men know what love in marriage encompasses because many men these days have no idea what it is. They demand submission and total control while treating their wives like lesser humans or subhumans

Its unfortunate

I did pointed out that it's difficult for men to love and for women to submit.

You said "They demand submission..." don't u think It is difficult to love a woman that wouldn't submit, a woman that wouldn't listen, a woman that believes she's always right, a woman that raises her voice, a woman that wouldn't and can't do what was described in Proverbs 31.

Dearie, it is easy to blame men in marriages cause men r not known to complain or show emotion whether its hurt or love.

It seems that Women r always at d receiving end cause dey r loudest when its time to complain or cry; dey dish out what dey can't handle (d Bible calls dem weaker vessel)

Let's not forget that the Bible said, it is easier to live in d desert than with a troublesome wife more than once.

Again I say...before u teach men how to love, learn how to submit. It takes a man n a woman for a marriage to work.

babythug:
Parenting is largely an individual race. Whilst I agree that people- parents may feel somewhat culturally or socially bound to accept and guide thier children within certain rules/ expectations it is not compulsory and people will make choices that’s best for them.

An 11 years old boy in earrings May be completely unacceptable to you but acceptable to his parents who ultimately are responsible for the child at this time!

More so how does his wearing earrings or not change the price of fish in the market?

I’d advice you focus on ensuring that your own children don’t wear earrings as against chastising someone else’s parenting choices!

Cheers and happy new year

Ya first paragraph is so brilliantly crafted. It wowed me.

The third paragraph is jus a pathetic attempt for a joke.

Ya conclusive advice made a lot of sense from an individualistic point of parenting but d op is referring to societal and cultural standards practiced here in Africa, specifically in Nigeria.

Anyway... I like u

CHoccolaTE:
When the Bible says you should love your wife what does that 'love' mean?


Truth is love is in the golden rule. There is a reason why the golden rule is gender neutral. The golden rule says:

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Men always skip over that very simple idea when it comes to women and provide themselves with all kinds of excuses to focus on differences instead of finding common ground with females. The reason why men find it so hard to find common ground with women is because they don't truly affirm a woman's value as human beings who are worthy of mutual respect and honor.

A lot of men are unaware of how they have been brainwashed into thinking women are anything but human beings. They describe women as inferior, children, use language that is insulting, try to tear them down, wish to harm them...all sorts

None of this is out of love.

They try to tell another human being what THEY think is best for them even as they have no idea what being a woman means and they don't care. Because they themselves feel powerless, they have a desperate need to assert control over a female to validate their own need for power.

Love is the selfless investment in someone's growth and happiness. It's a verb because it's active and dynamic. Love isn't some magical romantic state you get to or fall into. It's pure active choice, every second of every day when you place someone else not above yourself (because you love yourself as well) but on the same plane as yourself and your importance. Place them below and you don't respect them. Place them above and they don't respect you.

But when you love yourself and love someone else, you treat them LIKE yourself in ways you desire to be treated. They aren't children. They aren't "needy". Their emotions are just as valid as your own. This is why men lie to themselves when they claim that they can cheat on their wives and still love them.

Understanding love as action doesn't allow for this. As soon as you enter into the act of lying or betraying someone you do not LOVE that person. Because if you loved yourself you would not wish to be treated that way.

I am gonno answer your questions section by section.

The Bible asked men to love their wives because it is very difficult for men to just love wholeheartedly... Women do this with much ease.
Men are more logical than emotional. Most women believe that the best way to show affection or appreciation is with their body hence the line, " use ya bottom power." This idea makes d avg man to see them as nothing but tools for sexual satisfaction.

WORTHY OF MUTUAL HONOUR AND RESPECT
The avg musical video out there depicts a woman as nothing but a sexual figure.

The brainwashing came from the women.... "That guy na mugu, I go chop e money and e go get nothing." Once a mistake, twice a coincidence and when its 3x, its a pattern. Now thats it is a pattern, men av shut the gates to their heart completely.

Now u mentioned control. To love is difficult for men and to submit is difficult for women. That's why the Bible was specific in dishing out roles.

Finally, A woman that's submissive will break the barriers in a man's heart.
I must admit that some men r just as guilty. But I must emphasize this, "Women should learn to b submissive and men please love your wife."

MyTototear:
I am still in shock that he could try to do that. What if he tries it again

He will, and this time don't come back here.

Like seriously what were u expecting... U slept close to him 98% nude.
If the guy doesn't try anything after a year of constantly being nude next to him den his body ain't working.

If u don't want s3x, don't go nude around him....I know this will b difficult for u since ya Toto don tear

IamD18:
Only a fool will take you serious.

Just imagine the username. MyTotoTear? Your toto don tear indeed.

You are wicked!!!!!!

BlackMamba:
I'm really struggling to make sense out of this story. I'll try again later once my head clear a little bit.

Hahahahaha hahahahaha...

U had to b d first to comment! Stop reading pple's mind, u jus read mine and shared it here

Madlov3:
So i created a fake Instagram account and started chatting with my gf.. she acknowledged having a bf but agreed to come meet me at a Five star hotel.
Am very heartbroken now! This is someone I wanted to propose to in December oo.
I don’t know if I should play along or I should just blow my cover and expose the hoe that she is

PS: we have started exchanging pictures! (I sent her my small cousins pics that is based in USA)Normal pics though but am thinking of asking for nude pics this night

What test did she fail?

Did she lie bout having a bf?
Did she agree to sleep with u?
Has she gone to d hotel?
Did she drop any hint that she's interested in u?

Bros com on! Stop all these childish play. Peeps like u end up doing worse

24hoursreporter:
Having a healthy and stable relationship should be one of your new year resolutions. A healthy relationship in this sense doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make a better choice.

In fact, you should have a standard. You shouldn’t just settle for anybody that comes your way because you need a relationship.

Most times, ladies are the architects of their own problem. A beautiful, intelligent and educated woman will end up dating an unserious man. In the end, she will be claiming that the man breaks her heart.

How will he not break your heart? Someone that is unserious with his life, how will he be serious with relationships

Anyway, in this article we have presented to you, the 7 types of guys you shouldn’t be with in 2019.

7 Types Of Men You Shouldn’t Be With in 2019


1. Stingy Men

One of the types of guys you shouldn’t be with in 2019 is the stingy ones. Some men are naturally stingy. If your guy is stingy, make sure you cut him off in 2019.

Your guy should be able to take care of you and make you look attractive. Most times, some ladies will still be with a stingy guy because they don’t want to be labelled Gold-diggers.

It doesn’t matter what people call you. Your man should show caring in cash. If he doesn’t have, it is understandable. But if he doesn’t just like spending money on you, then he isn’t for you.

Men like these don’t worth your time. Give them a very wide gap.

2. Chronic Smokers And Drug Users


Drug users and chronic smokers are also among the types of you shouldn’t be with in 2019. One thing with people that are into drug abuse is that they never get better.

Any guy that excessively smokes or uses hard drugs shouldn’t be tolerated in a relationship. These are the types of guys that beat women, very aggressive and they make relationships complicated.

Ladies yield to my advice, do away with any man that is into substance abuse as you approach 2019. Sincerely, except you are birds of the same feather, I don’t see how you will enjoy being a relationship with a chronic drug user.

3. The Notorious Liars


Mhen! Some guys can lie. They will lie about everything; their career, finances, home, cars even the relationship itself.

He just wants to impress you that he is super rich. While in reality, he is a “broke Ass Nigga”. Sadly, ladies will naturally fall for men like this. He will present himself as their fairy tale lover. Oops! It’s all scam...

You will always enjoy the initial stage of this relationship. But as time passes by, you will realize that he is completely fake.

In 2018, my very close friend was heartbroken by one of them. The lady in question is from a fairly rich background and she fell in love with this “Yoruba Demon” along the line.

Trust me, the guy basically lied about everything. In fact, he proposed to my friend while his marriage was a month away. But she later found out and was really broken. It took a while for her to move on.

So, take note of all the stories your guy is telling you. Once they aren’t consistent, please know that he is a liar and let him off the hook immediately. After all, a stitch in time saves nine.

4. The Cheater


A cheating guy is a parasite you must cut off from your life. Some men are great cheaters. He will go for anything on a skirt and will even shamelessly at other women with interest when he is with you.

When you are with these types of men, you are scared of introducing your beautiful friend or younger sister to him. This is because you know he will definitely want to get’em down.

5. Those That Are In For Your Body Nothing Else


One of the types of guys you shouldn’t be with in 2019 is those that are only interested in your body. They aren’t concerned about your career goals or what you are going through in life.

They will only call you when they want to have sex. And after you give them what they want, you never hear from them again.

In fact, they always feel bored when you tell them what you are currently facing in our life. If you currently have a guy like this in your life, it is time to cut him loose. He is good for nothing “Asshole”.

6. Those That Are Commitment Phobic

When dating a guy that doesn’t want commitment, you are just wasting your time. I assure you, nothing good can out of such relationship.

These guys are relatively common. They will like to spend time with you, take you out and even takes a walk with you. In fact, he sometimes eats from the honeypot.

But ask him what are you guys doing, he will tell you that “it’s complicated”. That is when he will start recounting his experience with his ex-girl.

Any guy that is afraid of commitment is one of the types of men you shouldn’t be with in 2019.

7.Yahoo Boy


If you are dating a Yahoo boy (who are sometimes ritualists) ensure you end whatever you are doing with him in 2019. In fact, you may be the budget for his Mercedes Benz in 2019.

When you are dating a guy, try to ask him if his source of income. Don’t just jump into concision, do your finds first. There are some dudes out there who are making legit dollars online.

However, once you discover that your boyfriend is an internet scammer, please run for your life. A word is enough for the wife. After all, not all that glitter is gold.

Source: http://www.24hoursreporter.com/2018/12/31/7-types-of-guys-you-shouldnt-be-with-in-2019/

I'm number 6 on ya list. I don't wanna b that person anymore but I don't know how

Offpoint:
I'm not too lazy to read, the year is too early for me to waste my time reading what is not talking about money.

If money is truly everything, then you shouldn't have opened this thread in the first place; there's was nothing in the topic about money

omablogs:
Goodnight baby

Bros o, na only u dey comment for 3 days straight. God will surely bless ya hustle

Oma307:
u forgot to mention 24 years also, how can a reasonable man wait for a lady response for 12 years. op, take time

Hahahahaha.... Bros, u wan use slippers slap d guy?

akpunda86:
Marriage not meant to be managed.we have tried so finally is all over.

After meeting my folks today i asked how to return dowry said he doesnt know as he never do am bf.So going home this xmas im meetibg the whole people that went with me or a few when i went to marry as im returning the bride price.

Im just asking as i just need a clue.

Thanks All.

The kinda questions I see here on nairaland can make someone weak

After we return dowry, what's next?...maybe
How can I bath without using water?

TheAgba:
Warisdis?

[b]Go self-service yourself bro. [/b]I wonder how a guy would BREAK virginity.

Hahahahaha haba na..... He wan break e d:ck, is it too much to ask for? You for stop wit that advice

olsome:
If your girl confesses to you that she cheated with another girl, how would you feel?

If your girl confesses to you that she slept with a guy, how would you feel??

Please interprete the two so we can know which one go pain you pass

Ya girl gat a gf. That's not a problem, just keep doing what she likes because having two chicks is better than no chick.

Themellowone:
I need your opinions on how white/foreign women are better than Nigerian women.

They can cook (fast food)

They don't use bleaching cream

They are white

They are like free tickets out of this country.

NB: but I don't want a white girl











I love Latinos

revontuli:
I have been away for a while cause I have been fighting legal battles to evict my ex who has been illegally squatting at my house months after divorce. It took forever to kick him out of there cause I'm overseas and it's difficult to coordinate things with 8 hours time difference.
Constable kept dragging his feet and made stupid excuses to delay it and cost me a ton of money. The lawyer was not very communicative and didn't do a good job with pushign the constable. In the end I had to personally call the constable office and literally weep and scream on the phone to get them to realize I am the victim and my house is being trashed (which I was told by friends who visited there, before my ex turned completely psycho and alienated them all.)


He went more and more insane and turned into a sick trash hoarder.

This is the state of my house after they removed the broken, old, trashed furniture. 1st photo is the furniture and some of my old stuff piled in the front yard. The others are in the house.
It used to be nice when I lived there. It became totally unrecognizeable, literally a "Hoarders buried alive" episode and a horror show.
I steeled myself hardcore not to have a heart attack when my lawyer sent me the video report post-eviction.



Edit note: The house is in Texas. I'm in Europe. The monster wasn't there when they evicted him.

@Op, the difficult part has past. He's out of the house. Now you can rebuild.
Before you get too moody, look at the brighter side....that man is out of your life for good

Offpoint:
I'm here to read comments and ask for your husband side of the story. That's what my old man once told me before he died "Offpoint no matter how tempting a story involving two persons is... never pass judgement until you hear them both"

"Whatever becomes of a man is influenced and fuel by something" offpoint 2018



...........
Modified:
just checked the profile and I see a white woman.
........
I won't say what the devil is tempting me to say.

Whatever the case may be.... op I'm single and extremely caring. taking care of houses is one of my hobby

I LOVE NAIJA, DEM NOR DEY CARRY LAST.
MY GUY DONE QUICKLY DROP CV.

MAKE I DROP MINE.
@OP, PPLE SAY I'M AS HUMBLE, DEPENDABLE, CARING, TRUSTING, LOVING AND AN EXCELLENT COMPANION AND FRIEND LIKE JESUS... WOULD U LIKE TO FIND OUT IF I'M SO MUCH MORE

Vianna:
Bead or beard?

Beard

skyme:
I always tell people life is happiest outside relationship when you are brok,they thought am mad.

now the Christmas is here nd your woman is expecting something from you..the little you hav to manage yourself you call her nd give her.now u are with me crying lik a baby because you need money for yourself.
Later again you came telling me she has broken up with you that she said her feeling for you have gone.for gush! sake why wouldn't she lost her feeling when you fail meeting her need monetarily.
the truth here is that ,the only thing you should take very seriously when you don't have the means to keep a woman is hold your God thight and build yourself. *read my lip no gal will stay with a brok guy.*
she might manage pretends she loves you but the truth is she is managing nd pitying you..l

Read my lip avoid relationship when you still trying to survive and quote me> Leaning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.

It is not d end of d world. You'll definitely find someone that will love u love ya friend for who he is n not what he has in his pocket.

DukeDen:
I have been in a relationship is one year plus with this my girl and we are planning on wedding by July 2019 but recently my business was having little issues which I told her to just pray for me because is the prayer type but really surprised me is that since then she had not cared to ask about it and she is not even interested to know if am progressing at all.

Is this how other girls behave or am I expecting too much

No, ya not.

Personally, I find great joy and satisfaction in discussing my challenges and victories with my angel. In terms of challenges, she forces me to share with her and in doing so she offers wonderful advice, and when I've given up, her hope and faith carries me.

bianconerriii:
I have been dating this lady for a year plus and we are taking it to the next level. Her parents like me and have encouraged her to settle down. On the other hand, I took her to my parents and they told me she isn’t the one for me. Reason being that she parties a lot and probably pretending just to rope me in. They told me “if you so choose to continue, you do not have our blessings”.

In honesty, she indeed likes to party at any giving opportunity. I’ve spoken to her about it and she is willing to change. Two of my close friends have adviced me to stay clear of her because people hardly change. I’m in the biggest dilemma of my life so far. Ignore my parents advice and regret later or listen and just let her go in peace?

In all sincerity I hope you guys story will end with "happily ever after."

Ok...answer these questions
1) Do you have a problem with her party lifestyle?
2) If no, do you think once you guys are married she will change?
3) If yes, then ya only deceiving ya self.

NB: Pple don't change for others, they do for themselves.
Marriage doesn't change pple; marriage is only a tittle. What she is before marriage is what she's gonno b after marriage.

But if you love her party life, go ahead with it. Let ya parents know ya d one leading her to d parties.
Selah!

mofeoluwadassah:
She for use big oranges to make the breast look bigger

Why do u have to be so mean? Let her sample her props in peace

emechib:
Pardon my grammatical blunders
For the umpteen time I have been posting stuffs in here of my lonely unattractive, tiresome boring isolated lifestyle in here.
I do not have a single friend if I try to make one he/she after few convo will just leave me or make me feel like I am not he/her mate. Call it low self esteem or but it ain't.
I discovered something that I am an extremely shy person. when I say shy I mean every single bit of meaning you can attach to it. I had someone who was truthful enough to tell me that when I talk I talk as if I am scared of talking. Well that true. not that I actually want to be. but every single time I want to have communication with anyone. I am always restrained by nervousness in form of stammering (of which I am not a stammer) not speaking articulatly and part of my body shakes. I most times get lost for words to say and cannot fully give or pass an idea fast enough. in group or meeting I participate people some times get my ideas wrong.



I am university graduate and owing to all those I posted on or in above lines. I haven't been able to get a job. There was a time i went for a bank interview the light system went off amd i was actually excited and was confident during the interview. but subsequent interviews ruled me out. And I hate the kinda lifestyle I live daily. just waking up checking through my phones that's all. no one to talk to etc.

Even conversing on phone (calls/chat)sef with another person is extremely difficult.

I know people will call this extreme shyness or introversy . Yes It is but I have seen a lot of shy people communicate well and better.

Please I need help on how to overcome this limitations or challenges in a good way because I also want good friends in my life. Life get a lot easier with people around. But it's tough and depressing when you are alone. Help a brother.




Please the moderators should help move this to the front-page I will be grateful and appreciate your ideas.

Holla at me let's get to know each other

HigherEd:
Too many abnormal people living in Nigeria.
Okowa offers to pay 9 million naira(govt money) per each super eagle goal.... Fools did not complain

Linda Ikeji buys 100 million naira car for a baby who can't even speak yet.... Fools did not advise her to build industries.

Millions spent on Hajj pilgrimage.... Fools do not remember industries.

An association of individuals exceeding 100,000 in population decided to build a building that would contain them all at once... Fools remembered industries and soldiers without weapons.... No, Enenche is supposed to pack them to a major road in Abj and hold services. Afterall the muslims also block roads.

Bros, u wicked