₦airaland Forum

SAMBARRY:
Efemenaxy this one will fit you

Lol! Okay ma

cococandy:
Those shorts

Did you tear them while twerking?

Lol!!

Twas the moves I learnt from Chillisauce and Eddy at Alcatraz. Shebi you were there too? I don't think Kimoni was "bad" enough to get a place in there, back then - before the tsunami.

edwife:
Efe sofly sofly, don't kill people in your London office.

chillisauce come and see efe hot pant, she stole it from kimoni. Kimoni uses hers under wrapper but efe and her oyibo way.

Why e tear like that?

cococandy:
Efe come worse pass.

See 5 people's thighs.

At least I have thin legs

That is eh!

Eddy haff finish me. Even the hot pants get as them be.

Oh well, I must have had a fantastic time going by the state of those shorts.

edwife:
Chai I have suffered, i don't blame you people. Well, one of the advantages of being tall, i have the slimiest tummy in the group.

Chillisauce and kimoni used style to abuse me... and to say I was the one striking better pose than them.

When we were busy having fun in the village, efemenaxy was having hers in London-she couldn't come along but she definetely didn't want to miss out.

https://www.blacknaija.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/obese_lady_2.jpg

Our own British non nonsense lady, work oriented kinda girl.Warri girl no dey carry last!

Kia!!

See fleshy laps.

Well, at least I'm grooving there na. And check out my Gucci shades and funky haircut.

Warri nor dey ever carry last!

Kimoni:
Lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Efe but looking at it again, I don't look too bad naa, Chillisauce is very correct, I killed it jor. See ma burriful legs But Cococandy ehnnn, choi!!! Big head, big bone, flat yansh, thin legs

But Damiso can pose for Africa sha; Efe, are you sure that's Dammy? that Ijebu woman sabi pose like this so

And of course the blue lady, see her face like oyoyo she go stand for front like say na food dem wan share

But ladies, you know we are all prettier than this in real life, if not for that outdated Kodak camera and fujifilm armyofone was using, we would not have turned out like this. So pls cheer up.

But true true ehnn I no just understand Cococandy for this picture at all...the rate of overworwor just too much

[size=18pt]I haff looked for trouble o, time to hide behind Chillisauce[/size]

Here, lemme help you ^^

Lol @ standing in front for food! Edwife haff suffa - where is she sef!

HerexG:
Not writing this to impress anyone, its a simple life experience which someone can learn one or more things from it, i could twerk the story if i want to but i dont wona deviate from the moral of the story. Thanks madam Sabi

So what's this fantasy story doing in the family section then?

Take it to the Literature or Romance section. More appropriate for surreal tales.

cococandy:
Hehehe

Efe I won't be here when they come for you.

Lol!!

Hopefully, I would have logged out for the week by then.

cococandy:
She definitely didn't give her child to the step mom. Not willingly.
The child was taken from her.

That's how they practice divorce in Nigeria.the man will claim the children even when he can change a diaper only to offload them on someone else to take care of for him just to spite the ex wife.this is a believable story.

They are not in the west where the children's welfare are considered first when deciding custody.

The men usually take them (if they want) because they can.

Just like that?

How? Based on what??

If this story is real, then the mother of that child (unless mentally incapacitated) is a WEAKLING.

Arrant nonsense.

Becqueen:
How do I tame my mother in-law to be?my fiance has been telling me about his mum, how harsh and strict she is, even my fiance in-law,has told one or two things about her and now I'm scared, what if she doesn't like me, what will I do

Are you a control freak?

Aside from sounding rude and obnoxious, why would you think of "taming" someone old enough to be your mother? How rude.

Image a young girl I've never met hoping to marry my son, asking how she can "tame" me. You never start.

cococandy:
I see the point the poster is trying to make.
Still think it's a lame story

And definitely not a true story either.

cococandy:
Oh efe what did we do to deserve this?
Why didn't I get to be the photographer or the one who kept the guys away?.


Hahahah. It's just too funny because I can literally see those ladies feeling like they fit and awesome.
"Damiso's" shoes Na one in town.

That was my first impression of the ladies too.

Nah, there's no way you could have been the one keeping the men at bay na. It's a gra-gra position and Chilisauce's gragra-bility is out of this world.

Re: Damiso's shoes...(((stiffles laughter...)))

Siena:
[color=Blue]If any woman did this to my child, be it a step mother, or the child's biological mother, I will put her in the ground, no question. How can anyone be so wicked?[/color]

Agreed.

But I don't believe this story.

What sane woman would give her two year old son to a step mother to raise? Suspicious story.

@OP: Where's the link to this story?

Chillisauce:
Kimoni killed it
As per cococandy , damiso and edwife...
Chai. No comment.

See shoes.!!
I guess the ropes are so they don't go missing. You know the rope they give the kids to hold on to when they go for site seeing.
EfemenaXY you get luck say I no follow snap. The camera for no contain us.

See as edwife pose.

And here I was thinking I get bad mouth - you're own pass me by far.

Howdy girl? I miss reading your posts like kilode. Make you try hang around small...

armyofone:
Pata = pant, dross, draws, thongs
Now send me check EfemenaXY for my tutorial.
Gboliwe, you too oya drop some changes.

Thanks!

Da check is in da post. I put it there tey-tey. Hasn't it arrived yet?

Kimoni:

Efeeee!!!! You've stayed too long in a foreign land my dear. You and I need to take a trip to AJ city

Ah, take it easy on moi na...er, which one is AJ city again? You mean Abuja?

ifyalways:
Onegai, I know nothingtodoinlagos and have seen their latest program but Nne,I'm passing on that one. I'm not a good swimmer so wont risk that as im not sure of the quality of life vests they'll be providing. I think it starts today ,I'll wait for my friends to send me pictures.
You can also follow social prefect. They organize fun local tours with the latest being "Omu resort" on 30th May.
I'm cool now with just truppr and my regular weekend run/booze group
My hike was Ben Navis, Scotland

Nne, you sabi live life. Life's for living anyway. Me, I want to be like you when I grow up. I love your outdoor adventurous spirit.

Gboliwe:
All of you are not serious.

Honestly, I've always wondered if you're (m) or [color=#ffb6c1](f)[/color]. So looking inside your pata may not be such a bad thing.

Pls oh!! I'm saying this on the assumption you're an [color=#ffb6c1](f)[/color]...

Now ladies, you know I've missed you all loads even though (in Kimoni's voice: I only drop by mostly on weekends), but I've got a pic for you all. Pls don't shoot the messenger. If anything, better grab the photographer, not Efe.

1st lady - in blue: That's just gotta be Edwife. Very tall, and never shys from taking the bull by the horn. Proper showgirl. :-

2nd lady - in green: Damiso. Always happy, never lets life get her down. Check out her smile sef.

3rd lady - in purple: Definitely Kimoni. Without a shadow of doubt. The serious bookworm. Even now you can almost see her mentally calculating and grinding numbers in her brain.

4th lady - in white: [color=#ffffff]Cococandy[/color]. The model and fashion chick. Check out her shoes. But shoes wise, it's a stiff competition between her and Damiso - not sure who comes out trumps.

Photographer: Armyofone - she passed this information to me.

Notice how the men are kept at bay? That's Chillisauce's handwork...

Question though: Why the rope, ladies??

cococandy:
Or use peanut butter.
I guess that's not very healthy.

My DH went and got a trainer for me. Na so the woman always on my neck to give her my daily food catalogue at the end of the week.
In the space for snack she will always see
White cake
Banana bread
Cookies and creme

I don't even know when I developed such sweet tongue. I can tell she's about to give up on me.

You'd think I'd know better. Having taken nutrition classes and all that. Or maybe it's because my friends keep complimenting me that I look great for someone who just had a baby.

I know what to do but no discipline for now.

I loooooovvvvveeee peanut butter, extra crunchy, with Agege bread.

But you know the saying: "A moment on the lips, forever on the hips..."

Girl! You're so lucky to have a personal trainer. Make the most of her. That in itself is motivating enough. But I agree with Eds, though. You can equally get the same motivation for free off YouTube. All it takes (as you know is consistency and determination). You tube helped me a lot, from exercising, to dieting eating clean, to how to ginger yourself for the days you feel kinda down and don't want to exercise.

Don't shy away whenever you fall off the wagon. We all do at one point or the other but the important thing is that we motivate ourselves on here whenever that happens.

edwife:
Efe the tea is nice, i do add honey dear. It just like lipton.

I think I'll stick to my lime 'n lemon concoction plus the occasional detoxifying wheat grass drink. At least if I'm gonna go the green route, then let me really go green.

Kimoni:
but why Efe just when I was thinking of trying it too
Now I don't dare

Seriously, Edwife's palette is - arrrgghh!

Don't get me wrong, she's a fantastic cook, but some of the things that woman eats... raw snails, live crabs...what next?

damiso:
It does taking a bit of getting used to
I drink it with a bit of honey like Edwife said and these days I even drink the decaff cos I noticed I started having migraines again( quite high in caffeine as well).
I used to have about 4 cups a day while still actively trying to lose weight.But now I have about 2 a day and sometimes mix it up with other decaff variants ie fennel,mint,rooibos,lemon,cinnamon and ginger etc
I do love my teas

I'm totally lost. Rewind, abeg.

D'you mean you've got a decaff version of green tea and even at that, it gives you migranes?

armyofone:
Lmao @ Efe and Damiso.
Today, I'm so craving scent leaf and nig spinach soup.
Looks like it will cost about 120 dollars to get scent leaf posted to me...

What a rip-off. Don't you guys have any African communities / markets where they sell African stuff enmasse? You can get those same scent leaves for no more than £2 a bunch in London.

damiso:
Your meal prep looks absolutely yum.

Thanks Damiso.

@ Edwife & Damiso, I tried that una green tea today at a meeting. It was absolutely bleerrghh!!!

How can you two drink that stuff? Anyway, I had a double blueberry muffin to rid the taste from my tongue

^^ Yeah. Been busy of late.

Miss you too dear.

edwife:
Happy Sunday ladies, summer bodies loading.... Concoctions,cucumber the struggle is real.

Hehe! A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, my sister.

Meanwhile,we went sea food hunting...the crab still very much alive in my tummy.

You this French lady.

Don't tell me you ate that crab ALIVE??!!

But Eddy, what's that long brown thing beside the crab in the first pic?

And the brown liquid in the second pic?

Chillisauce:
Jobless yahoo nairaland ogbonge boys and their stories.

The story dey sweet until the latter half of the 2^nd paragraph

@op: so after your "sleepless" night, you then turn to Nairaland for "advice" as your 1^st port of call??

Chillisauce:
Wow. You are so organised . See lunch packaging. While me I don't even know what to eat this afternoon

Lol! Thanks Chilli.

At least you're thinking of lunch - just about to have my breakfast after 30 mins lower abdominal workout + a 15 min run.

Cherry tomatoes, cucumber slices and my lime & lemon concoction (urrgghh...)

damiso:
Thank you Efe
We can only try,i feel better for it though.
Hope hayfever is not dealing with you as it was with me on Monday. Thank God for the rain on Tuesday and Wednesday

That is eh, the one that dealt with me last night plus this one again today nor get part two.

I don't really do flowers but spent a mini fortune doing up my back and front gardens. Apart from my single rose bush which hasn't flowered yet, it's all turf. Spent nearly two hours last night watering my lawns and now I'm paying for it - sneezing, itchy watery eyes, sniffles...arrrghhh!!

armyofone:
Dami, you tried with the packaging. I just wash my cucumber, wrap it with paper towel and off I go chewing it in the car. By the time I'm done flying the freeway, one cucumber gone and I'm in the parking lots.
The only funny thing is when there is traffic and a strong hefty cucumber is taking a stand in my mouth...
No be green prick, it's cucumber.

You very, very, "bad" girl.

Chillisauce:
God. I remember then I always see cucumber on EfemenaXY plates. I went to charter 3 of it. Ate one for 1 week. Forgot about the other two. Cleaning up the fridge and saw the things there. I trashed the gaddam thing. The funny thing is you can't even add pepper sauce to it. And I alwasy forget to put in my salads.

I will keep trying .

Abeg make una free me jor!

My packed lunch for the next two weeks: beans porridge cooked with Irish potatoes, tomatoes, pepper, onions, crayfish (and definitely NO palm oil); green veg, sweet corn, and carrots.

Happy Sunday ladies!

Gboliwe:
You see ehnn, that thing you are looking for inside my pata one day you'll find it. Continue

Pls oh, what does "pata" mean? I know, I know, I'm old school. Very.

Kimoni:
Damiso, are you planing to overtake Efe in cucumber eating

damiso:
I don't think anyone can overtake efe in cucumber eating.

Oh, wow! Wow!! Wow!!!

That cucumber sure is tempting. Mine ran out this morning. I eat almost a whole one a day.

I need to restock up on my fruit and vegs.

Kimoni, how's work? Settled in now?

Damiso well done.

Chilisauce, I dey watch you in 3D oh!

Annoying story and even more annoying examples.

Oh well, whatever rocks their boat. Out of interest though, what becomes of the men who pummeled their wives to death. What does "society" say/do? Will these men be ostracised like their female counterparts? How do the pastors treat such a man?

Anyway, the real people who gain from scenario are the funeral directors and coffin makers

Chillisauce:
Depression never begin catch them.
Instead of focusing energy on making life easy for their women and children by building great empire they are here murdering wife's and children. Using for rituals....
Look at the hot sun ...free energy given to Africans. Ordinary solar panels to generate electricity they can't manufacture . N'a to dey online 24 7 ...fighting feminism
.
Coconut heads

Lol! Where've you been?

You've been missed plenty-plenty.

Welcome back

bebe2:
i see ur point my sister.

but e dey pain.

wat if i pay some area boys to just beat am, because i go still like to draw blood small

my body too hot oo

I get you jare but it still won't change anything.

Why waste money to get him beaten up? Not worth it. At all.

sassiemyk:
yhu are a shame to Deltans. yhu are hereby banished, yhu shud only return when yhu learn Gud morals.

And you should be banished for butchering the English Language.

Who are you to judge? I repeat, that woman did nothing wrong. If anything, she deserves to be commended for keeping two men.

I see nothing wrong with what the woman did.

Is it not better she married both men than commit adultry? So what's the problem?

Mtcheeew. Naija men making a mountain out of a molehill.

Onegai:
Abeg I need help: my 10 month old baby likes horseriding and she looks fantastic doing it. We are determined that she will marry Prince George of Britain and you know English people like hunting and horseriding. We need to buy Baby E a pony and it will cost several millions of Naira to maintain it (horses and grooming are freaking expensive and eating grass is for poor horses). I'm asking for your help, nairalanders. No amount is too little, help my daughter be great, help her be the first Black Queen of England!
No amount is too little, please donate generously. Can I post my account number please?

Onegai:
Stop liking my comment and help me please! If you had seen my darling on that horse, you'd have cried tears of pride, she looked so pretty!! So graceful and elegant. It was a white mare too, just like a Khaleesi. I'd post pictures but it would break Nairaland from its sheer awesomeness and Seun won't like that.
Please come to my aid. I use Access Bank account, nothing is too small