₦airaland Forum

concho:
We started dating when she got admission in 2018. She was a novice and a church girl then .
There was nothing like intimacy till 2021 and that was when I deflowered her ,

Since I promised my self that I must marry who ever I deflowered , I started taking care of some parts of her needs hoping that I will get financially stable and settle down with her .

She was the type of girl that everyone assumed to be an angel . I trusted her more than anything on earth .

She is too jealous that she suspects that I’m cheating even when I was not . She misinterprets everything an opposite sex sends to me

Fast forward to 2022 . She visited one day and got upset that another girl referred to me as “babe” on chat instead of saying “hi” . I insisted that she brings her own phone so I check if a guy has never called her babe

On getting to her chat , I noticed this guy that she saved as “my favorite” . They had no chats (she deletes everything) . I decided to dig deeper only to find out that this guy has been going to her house (family house ) to sleep with her . It’s not once , it’s not twice . And it was frequent the period she even said I should give her space that they were doing family prayers

The worst is that I told the mum and elder siblings out of anger. They did absolutely nothing . The mum only denied knowing that the guy comes around when everyone is out

A month later, I saw a chat of the mum asking her why she doesn’t pick the guy’s call again . I almost ran mad

She has promised and vouched that she won’t try such again and doesn’t know what came over her her .

I have tried everything possible to forgive her since no one treats me the way she does , but I keep loosing weight and falling sick by day .

I’m currently depressed and don’t know what to do again

You are depressed? No, you are not yet depressed. Marry her and your breakfast, lunch and dinner will be depression. Una wey dey fall in love with olosho una must collet!

obembet:
Nigerian actress, producer, screenwriter and singer, Bukunmi Oluwasina advises all the married men to forgive and pray for thier wives whenever they mistakenly sleep with another man.

Here is what she wrote



Source: https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cq8WQCKuU0d/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Mistakenly! So if man dey mumu, women too must mumu so that pikin too go mumu and their full generation go mumu. Interesting logic.

Kobojunkie:
Look, is there some reason why a man can't exercise her right as a human same as a man can?

Oh so a man can divorce for no reason and women too should be able to do the same, abi? You are still not answering the question. Why are people getting married at all if divorce can happen at anytime for literally no reason whatsoever. So if men dey mumu women too must have the right to mumu as well. Equality and equity are dumb concepts particularly when they are conceived without any recourse to morality.

KnowledgePower7:
Same with your girl. Your babe na slut

Oh so you dey confirm sey na slut you dey knack...good luck oh. Dey take your destiny dey play ludo. Last last MFM is there for you because you will be visiting MFM for deliverance soon.

Lee99:
Get out and don't mention me again, you want to score cheap points with NL ladies, tueh, I spit on your forehead, bloody simpson

e pain am...small boy!

KnowledgePower7:
Dey talk rubbish
Girl that I spend money on why I no go knack her? Anytime I wan knack I go call her and she dey respond no time for excuses

Dat wan mean sey you dey knack olosho...hope sey you dey use protection because I sure sey you nor be the only guy wey dey invest and chop from her pot.

Rokiat:
I would like to believe there are still men that are faithful To their women in relationships. And despite the narrative not all men cheat.

So faithful Men of nairaland, how do you manage to remain faithful?

Cheating and faithfulness are from within and not without. If you like marry Mary the mother of GOD, if you have made casual sex a habit you will definitely keep doing it. By implication if you have not made casual sex a habit rather you have learned to keep yourself as a man or you have applied other means of keeping your desires at bay then cheating won't be an issue. Evil is sown from the time of our youth and it germinates into a stronghold that may be difficult to uproot later in life. It has nothing to do with how good, pretty or sex savvy your spouse is.

Lee99:
So I'll be brief.... My ex and I got into a nasty argument last month and we broke up... We didn't talk until my birthday last week, she reached out and said we should fix things, I said fine, we got talking and met today abi yesterday, Sunday sha, so I took her swimming at a nice hotel with a nice pool, bought what she wanted and stuff, while there I don't have an ATM card but she did so I sent money to her account and used her card to pay, because she was in the water she couldn't type her pin so she told me... Here's the turning point, while in the pool I caught her giving one guy her number, I just lock up like I no see, we left and I said I wanted to buy fish, she said let her drop some things she brought at home and she'll meet me there at the fish spot, I said ok, while waiting this girl started taking time, I called and she didn't pick, I kuku took my fish and left, then I texted her and told her that so she left me to go see that guy she gave her number and her reply was I'm sorry, well I no too send, I just went to a POS across the road and withdrew the 15k I spent on her today from her card.. and yes it's from her own money, babe wey I don already relegate wanted to come back and wreck me, as a guy man I no dey dull, I've taken my money back sha and I'm very happy, I even took extra 3k for the fish I bought making 18k... When she's ready she can come and pick up her ATM card. I blocked her on WhatsApp too... If that isn't instant karma then I dunno what Karma is 😂😂😂

Bro just so you know you can be charged for theft. Thou, my friend, art a thief. You are not a real man. When a real man breaks up he breaks up for good. Only small boys return to their vomit.

KnowledgePower7:
My girl Ask me if I can be dumb to give my mother all my money.
I almost wooze her slap na her wig save her. I for wooze her better slap
She say that I'm a weak man to allow my mother control me
I decided to tell her to leave my house
She took her thing and left while calling me Mommy boy and weak man

The problem now Is that I miss her
Rain just dey fall and if not for all these Hakim argument. I suppose dey knack her wotowoto by now

The rain just dey make my bed cold and na me and this babe suppose dey knack with this weather.

She hasn't called me since she left
Should I call her first or wait till tomorrow?

Any man that reasons with his deek is a weak and vulnerable man and I fear you are one such man.

cutecommend:
Every good lady is to be appreciated; whether virgin or not. But if you are a virgin, congratulations. If you are not a virgin, but don't sleep around, and keeping yourself for marriage, that's good. Remain blessed.

Correct. I prefer a violent virgin to a humble hoe. Deliverance can deal with the spirit of violence but the spirit of olosho is something else!

Bekeey:
Good morning my people, please pardon my grammatical errors and long writeups. I'm curiously in need of your help to help me decide if I should confront her or not. This is the problem, traditionally I got married to my wife this January 2023 and by grace of God our wedding is coming this July 2023, our IV is already out, we have got 45% of the Wedding needs already, like Asobi clothes, her own clothes and my clothes too, we have also booked for Decorations, DJ, MC etc.

So, here is the issue that I need to confront her or probably council the Wedding because since I got noticed what has been going in my absent, I wasn't myself for past 3days, I am emotionally exhausted. Here is the problem, there is thus guy that always call her late in the night from 10pm, whenever I asked her who was that, she always tell me is just a friend that they have known right from secondary school, that she knows her girlfriend that nothing is between them. I asked her,did he know that you are married, she said of cause, he is aware. I said OK, that day passed, so the call kept coming same time 10pm but not everyday. Later I began to notice that the guy doesn't call in the night again maybe because she have asked her not to call her by that time again. So 3days ago, I had access with her phone, my brothers and sisters, I was shocked, behold the person that told me she has nothing to do with him that is just a friend. All there conversation in that chat was sweetie, sweetie, that's what they call each other. Though, I found out my wife doesn't give him that chance that she's only interested to eat his money because I saw a receipt of 20k he sent to my wife. The guy was seriously asking for her nude videos which she didn't send to her but she instead sent him stickers. The guy will send her some videos showing her how he will sock her breast, and one hot round of sex, my wife will just replied him OK. Last chat my wife chatted him was where she is begging him for 50 to 100k to pay back by June. She don't have anything doing, I wonder where she will get the money to pay him back. Till now the guy have not replied him. I can say she has not started cheating on me because, she just relocated from Awka to Abuja where I leave and she doesn't know anywhere yet. She is always at home. So where I'm confused now is, is she sending him her nude and delete it at instant or she is just playing ▶️the guy? Even at that, as a married woman 👩did she suppose to engage in such conversation with a man? And she is already pregnant, 16weeks pregnant precisely.

Please house, what should I do in this situation, should I confront her or to keep monitoring her but the fact is, it still disturbs me why my wife a married woman should be having such discussions with a man.

Another victim in the making...oga you never even start the marriage fully she don dey collect money from other men. You think sey those men go dey give am money and den no go eventually chop the thing wey you pay bride price for? You think sey if that your "wife" see who go give am like 500k she no go open her leg sharply? Oga secretly do DNA test for that your pikin ohh and all the text messages wey you see for her phone screenshot am and save am as evidence...Carry your cross faithfully until death do you part.

DrAbdulSuleman:
I started dating this girl 15 years ago. Tight body, good personality, all is well. Got married. Things continue to go swimmingly. Her mom is in her 80s and is quite overweight. A few years into the relationship I saw an old picture of her mom when she was much younger and she looked almost exactly like my wife. Started getting worried. Wife turned 40 a few months ago and her chin is starting to get flabby. Just like her mom’s. Her tits are also starting to sag. They’re huge, which was always a plus, but since last summer they’ve started expanding, but in a bad way. She’s starting to widen out in the middle. Her arms and legs are getting thicker. Basically, she’s starting to get her mom’s body. This is despite the fact that she eats right and exercises regularly. Genetics seem to be overriding her good decisions. And it’s happening rapidly. I’m having a harder time finding her sexually exciting. Which sucks, because her personality is still top tier. I’m afraid within 3 or 4 years she’s going to look hideous. And I’ll be a horrible bastard if I leave her just because she got fat, through no fault of her own. Can anything be done here? Like I said, she takes care of herself. Is there any way to fight genetics, or am I destined to have a fat cow for a wife?

Invest in her looking good. If she is a great wife as you speak then she deserves all the investment in her looks. I normally don't subscribe to cosmetic surgery but whatever will help her is worth investing in. There are very few good women out there and when you have one you need to cherish her. Trust me, if you try some other woman out there you will likely fall into the hands of hoe that will thoroughly deal terribly with you and destroy your joy...all for a few minutes of sexual pleasure.

Naijaepic:
A 40yr old woman in Indonesia is selling her house, but offers herself for marriage if the buyer wants.
See the news as shared online.

Is this a new scam or what? Your take on this

These women always have creative ways of doing unimaginable amounts of evil. I can easily imagine a strange woman crafting a plan inspired by this post. After finishing off her husband and claiming his house and children, she sells the house on the condition of marriage, gets the cash from the house, siphons the mumu man's money, have 1 or 2 kids for him, finish him off, reclaim the house and repeat until she retires at 60 years of age with a toy boy. A strange woman is punishment for foolishness.

ejitest1:
A married woman has expressed her desire to sleep with other men as she is now bored with her husband.

"Am maried but another preeq don dey hungry me, faithful maried women pis hw una take dy do am abeg, my husbnd no to get my time he no dy too last 4 bed but he's nice."

One man paid bride price but the bride is another man's prize. This is what will happen to all the men who prioritize sexual experience above sexual purity in their wives. Your wife will be a public utility but you will pay the price of taking care of her. Another man will get her pregnant and you will foot the bill of raising the child. Another man will give her disease and you will foot the medical bills for her and yourself. You keep saving money but another man will spend it...and while you are at work, struggling and toiling all day to make money another man is on your matrimonial bed working, struggling and toiling all day inside your wife. Olosho wife na the Nemesis of all stupid men.

frozen70:
You are so bittered and now you have started fighting yourself

Very soon people will isolate you

Go and trace where your problem is coming from

Hoe spotted. The post must have struck a nerve. Sorry ehn. Abeg don't use your expired leaking pot to trap innocent boys in a futile marriage. Get some deliverance and while you are at it also get some character.

Kobojunkiee:
1. Why can't she divorce him whenever it pleases her?

Why must she do so before?

Why did they even get married? Is it necessary for them to be married and tied into a stupid knot? If she can divorce him whenever she pleases then why marry at all?

Spectrum22:
SILENT PAINS OF A HUSBAND

Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

This is why as a man you should not be looking out for physique, beauty and sexual gratification because many toxic women have these traits. Women whose selling point is their body will invest heavily in looking beautiful and attractive. Such women will likely have a dense sexual history packed with relationships that ended badly. This means that such women tend to be equipped with an arsenal of lessons they have learned from all the heart breaks and hook-up sessions. Such women become a nightmare dressed in a beautiful exterior and foolish overgrown boys who manage to become financially attractive become their target for marriage which ultimately ends horribly.

farous:
Please is there anything wrong that husband,wife and children all have and sleep separately in their respective rooms and bed.

Must husband and wife share same bed and room to define intimacy/closeness and bond between them or what can be called martal bed.

I have this rule of thumb. Spouses must have be united in as many things as possible because the areas where they are divided or separated are cracks in the marriage that can be leveraged to destroy the marriage.

My hope is that all foolish, simple and overgrown boys who plunge into marriages with hoes suffer terribly until they learn their lesson and quit being maritally stupid. No hoes should be gratified with a marriage and anyone who does deserves to suffer terribly until they get sense.

ukaface:
I can only but wonder how bad the marriage was for her to have gone through this whole charade.

It is well

While there could be more reasons but the reason provided was that the job of the husband led to the deterioration of the marriage...this is what happens when kids get married. Why would a man marry a woman that will not remain a wife because of his job. The man is the fool here. More and more men need to be tortured by women for them to learn their lesson for good and quit making stupid marital decisions.

AImiron:
Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2023/04/15/nc-woman-roasts-wedding-dress-in-savage-divorce-photoshoot/amp/

She has no fault at all. It is the stupid man that married her that is the compound fool.

cococandy:
You’re indirectly saying a great many men lack these qualities because the study is up there for you to see. This is not anecdotal. Evidence shows that among the spouses who dump their other half during an illness, a greater percentage are men.

Maybe instead of doing that slimy about face that y’all do when you’re supposed to face facts, maybe ask your fellow men why they take vows saying in sickness and in health with absolutely no intentions of keeping it.

I’m certain you’re no different. The fact that you’re trying to blame the woman for giving the man a chance tells me you’re not different.

Marrying for money indeed. How many of you have money? 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

I don't see how you could deduce that I am inferring that more men lack the qualities I listed or that the woman gave the man a chance - which chance? Your conclusion does not logically follow from the premises you culled from my statement. I am not debating your so called facts even though overall, women are more likely to initiate a divorce than the man. My point is that men and women are complicit in the disaster that happens to them. Women prioritize financial security and physical attributes in their choice of a spouse while men prioritize physical attributes and sexual gratification in their choice of a spouse. Most men and women end up incentivizing bad men and bad women by gratifying them maritally. If all ladies agree never the marry a man for financial security or physical attributes but rather seek piety, purpose, leadership, selflessness and character I assure you that most bad men would be weeded out of the gene pool. Also if all men refuse to marry ladies that falter in piety, purpose, submissiveness, loyalty and sexual purity such women would be weeded out of the gene pool as well and generations later humanity can be proud of their ancestors and the decisions that made towards creating a perfected human race. However, this is not the case as most women love bad men that have money and look good while most men love bad women who have great physique and can perform signs and wonders in bed.

I knew about this line of thinking way before I got married and to GOD be the glory I have never regretted my marital choice. If couples make the right marital choices we won't have anyone asking the question that the OP asked.

Kobojunkiee:
Aren't you here assuming it was once sweet?

Why didn't she divorce the man before he became terminally ill?

olabrinks:
I understand what you’re saying but in 90% of cases, women don’t just react like this for no reason. A woman can never kick out a man just because she feels like it. Is he a chronic cheat? Is he physically/ emotionally abusive? Is he a drug addict? Is he lazy and financially incompetent? A lot of women cannot stand the trauma that come with these things. Peace and sanity is underrated. There’s a pattern with a lot of divorcee men, check them well and you will see where the problem lies.

Strange women do these things and even worse. Strange women, olosho incorporated, are capable of every evil under the sun. They can cook up all manner of false charges to spite anyone. The strange woman has leveraged the laws of the West to finish the man and he deserves it. Men deserve their wives because they chose their wives based on their desires. And if your desires are immensely stupid you can expect the result of these desires to lead to catastrophe. I only hope he doesn't commit suicide. He should count all his losses as school fees, the price he needs to pay to learn the lesson he should have learned before getting married, move out of the UK to escape prison and restart his life afresh. If he survives this he will become a better mentor for others who are entering marriage as a compound fool but if he is overwhelmed by this and succumbs to depression then it is such a shame.

IyaTola:
...

It's good that he suffering this. He will become wise. Never in his life will be stupid again and submit his life to an olosho in the name of marriage. Who no wise must pay school fees. Who no get sense go register for university of sense. The mouth of a strange woman is a deep pit and the abhorred of the LORD falleth therein. He that has a brain let him have sense.

cococandy:
Bottom line know who you married. If you know your man is not the type to do stuff like that, stick by him.

Why would any lady marry a man that will divorce her if she is terminally ill? Well probably because she's marrying for money and comfort and not looking out for character, leadership, purity, piety and selflessness.

litigator:
This question was asked, Nicodemeously, by one of my followers who is also a nairalander. I promised her that I will write about it for others to learn. Especially, our Christian sisters and mothers.

But before we begin, what do you think?

She can divorce her terminally ill husband if she expects her man to divorce her when she eventually becomes terminally ill.

onthehill:
https://igberetvnews.com/1443206/marriage-dead-women-turned-poverty-alleviation-scheme-oap-nedu/

This is why I am skeptical of taking advice from those who have failed because their advise will be based on their experience when the failed forgetting that we all fail differently. Oga Nedu no be everybody marry olosho like you and Ashraf wey straf milf. If you are looking for anything in a woman other than submission, loyalty, sexual purity, purpose and piety you are on your own. You will pay the price of fools. Wa'a san'wo omo'go!

Obavoh:
Out of my 4 children, it is only the first born I buy clothes for and he passes it down to his younger ones once he outgrows them.

It saves me a lot of money s children clothes are expensive.

I bought few girl clothes for my only daughter but most times she wears her brothers clothes.

A lot of people say it is very bad and it will make her a tomboy. Please is this true?

If the picture you uploaded is that of your daughter then you are an irresponsible parent oh. You can ask your question without posting a picture. Dress your baby appropriately. Understand that whatever you do now will become a foundation for that child tomorrow. Also If you fail as a parent, remember that you will be held accountable for setting up your child to struggle later in life.

Obavoh:
Out of my 4 children, it is only the first born I buy clothes for and he passes it down to his younger ones once he outgrows them.

It saves me a lot of money s children clothes are expensive.

I bought few girl clothes for my only daughter but most times she wears her brothers clothes.

A lot of people say it is very bad and it will make her a tomboy. Please is this true?

If the picture you uploaded is that of your daughter then you are an irresponsible parent oh. You can ask your question without posting a picture. Dress your baby appropriately. Understand that whatever you do now will become a foundation for that child tomorrow.

What would you rather be? A rich mama's boy or a broke depressed divorcee.

nicej2:
Dear Nairalanders, i am not really good posting my issues online. But this time i need your advise.

I have been married for 9 years now and my sister inlaw has been living with us( I, my wife and the kids) for the past 6 years now, although I am not always around.
I have never imagine any negative thoughts toward her. I always see her like my younger sister, i have been taken care of her. She is 28 years old and I can't really says if she have a boyfriend cos I haven't see one around her. She is a boss in her working place but yet i foots all her bills in the house without bothering anyone, including my wife that is also a boss .Until of recent she started wearing seductive clothes around the house, Some how i started developing feelings for her As if she knows, she continues wearing those clothes and started showing more caring towards me.
I can't believed that i am having feelings for my sister inlaw cos i am a disciplined man to the core. Even during university days girls do come to my apartment passed a night without molesting them. I am well brought up. But is like that disciplined man in me started degenerating as i began to see this girl in my dreams.
There was a night i returned from travelled, i started feeling the urge to go to her room. My wife almost cought me that night cos we lives in 3 bedroom, I have my own room, my wife have her own and my sister inlaw have her own room. So we sleep in separate rooms except some occasions my wife decided to stay in my room. That night i was pimping through her door. I have been trying to control my feelings and I believed the reason why I have not sleep with her is because i am not always around and I also the fear of traditions implications of sleeping with sister inlaw . And my wife is not helping matters, she can leave both of us alone in d house and go to all night church program and the children will be sleeping.

I don't really know what to do. Should I tell my wife so that we can get her accommodation or just let the sleeping dog be. Though I don't really want her to leave cos is my wife and the children are alone in the compound. I just want to kill that urge before I return from travel.

Sorry for the long episode ..😀

I apologize in advance for what I am about to type. Nor vex but you need to hear the truth. You are unwise. First your wife is a boss and your sister-in-law is also a boss why will you keep her in your matrimonial home? Why can't she use her funds, with support from you and your wife, to get her own apartment? Your home is compromised. Your "boss wife" that has a "separate room" in your matrimonial home is going for "all night" church program without you. Oga you are a mumu man ohh. Your wife is likely under the influence of an all night programmer. She is receiving all night programming whereas you are at home drooling over your sister-in-law. Chai, may you receive sense.