₦airaland Forum

That is, we should ignore you.

Agbado and Cassava nau.

Agbado in the morning, cassava in the afternoon, pure water at night.

Sounds like the bandits are Hausas attacking Fulanis.

Gips:
Story story... Fake justice system in Nigeria... When did last did you hear in this country that someone was sentence to death and the said person was kill... Judiciary are the Major problem of this country. Fix the judicial system and fix Nigeria. Fake Judges, Fake Barrister, Fake Lawyers surrounded in Nigeria... Hahahahha

Go and apply for the job of executioner since you are so interested in killing.

People like you think punishment is the antidote to crime.

Portugal has abolished not just the death penalty, but also life imprisonment. Yet they don't have a crime rate as high as Nigeria's where people are sentenced to death for holding a broken bottle while stealing.

The death penalty is barbaric and defeats the purpose of judgement. That's why most countries do not execute even those sentenced to death. Let's not even talk about the mental toll and emotional repercussions on the lives and health of the executioners.

They want to rescue him so he can be force fed agbado and cassava.

sorry, bad joke.

The OP's epistle and the people commending it for being well written are examples of why Nigerians are still being asked to prove their knowledge of the English language despite English being the language of our education.

Is it that these commenters don't understand proper composition? Don't you guys see how the OP jumps from paragraph to paragraph without any linkages? Or how each paragraph contains disjointed and unrelated ideas leading to an overall confusing narrative?

Then there is the issue of him being so particular about the ethnic and educational profiles of his co-workers. That says a lot about the OP.

Overall, the narrative was confusing and uninteresting. As someone who has worked in the banking industry, I began my reading with great hopes that there would be something entertaining or enlightening in the post but the OP sacrificed his message on the altar of poor composition.

The mentions of ethnicity and educational background was also a big turn off.

LagBlogger:
I disagree.

I understand the essence of his narrative and it was not extremely stressful for me.

Oh well, maybe you guys share the same profile of neuro divergence. I am sure if you surveyed 10 readers, 7-8 would find his line of reasoning tough to follow.

This kind of writing would score extremely low marks in any language assessment test.

Mystery2020:
"They finally employed you. I hope you have a strong shoe", she said. I did not understand what the teller meant.

I had spent about a quarter in this new generation bank, I was ridiculed, insulted and bullied by the head teller and cash officer who is a Unilag graduate, the branch manager (BM) who once accused me of stealing, and my new supervisor who just got back from maternity leave.

This new supervisor, Fatima, was a curvy ebony naturalised Hausa-Fulani woman. One day, she asked if I have a lover. Then told me to come along with her for a drink. She wanted to take me out after the naming ceremony of the head teller's new baby, but I refused to attend. The following week, she began telling other staff members that I am stubborn. This was the genesis of my problem with her.

A lot of flirting used to happen in that place. Only two of the women out of eight were spared; one Yorubanised Hausa woman and maybe the CSM. Even the CSM gave me flirty looks several times. One of the tellers once called me gay. Asking if I don't have erections.

A new girl was hired. She was an introvert like me, but from Enugu state and a graduate of ESUT. Coincidentally, one of the Yoruba staff and a Business Administration graduate of OOU served in her village. This young lady, an Anglican, can be mistaken as the daughter of the Nollywood and Yoruba language actress popularly known as Lanre Hassan.

She made it known to management that she prefer to be in operations. However, she was brought to marketing. She said they told her point blank at head office HR that all employees in our cadre must first work as a marketer regardless of their qualifications. She had no choice but to accept the offer, so I decided to help her adjust and settle down.

The BM is a Catholic, who once forgot to attend Ash Wednesday mass despite always wearing a rosary. He is the temperamental type who takes first impression seriously. He is the first child of his family, and was often tasked with carrying the ladder up and down the streets of Nnewi for NITEL technicians when they're trying to fix the family's landline. His first car, a Honda "baby boy" Accord was stolen at gun point.

The BM, owns a shell company with address in Lekki where proceeds from dubious deals are laundered. Some of these proceeds he shared among the operations staff headed by one pretty lady; a charismatic Catholic & graduate of Ekpoma. I was told by a teller that this lady (CSM) once approached the manager to give her and the boys 'something'. This teller lives in a 'selfcon' in Surulere, which he inherited from his grandmother.

They tested me withing my first week of resumption. They sent me to a customer; a Micro Finance bank in Ikeja, with a t-fare double the required amount. When I returned, I wanted to return the balance but they all ignored me. They sent me to the MFB again the following day. I simply used the balance from the previous day. I thought I did the right thing, not knowing that they only wanted to know whether I came to Lagos to "count bridge". A question the 'Surulere' teller eventually asked me rhetorically.

They lied to me that I can not request for a t-fare lower than what I got previously again, because they will be queried by internal control. A lady in the customer care unit who attended FGGC Calabar, tried to ginger me not to answer them, but I gave in and continued to accept the bogus t-fare. Months later, the OOU graduate told me to stop behaving like a saint, that even my then supervisor who is married to an Mbaise woman collects double of that figure.

Just before the ESUT lady resumed, the manager withdrew the branch car from me, then gave me a target to open 80 accounts, sell 40 cards/POS, and mobilise ₦40 million, all within a month among other tasks. He was also using me as his P.A. and 'man Friday' for his exportation business & family Charity.

The manager refused to give the ESUT girl targets. He played a smart one by asking her, "Do you know what your target is"? She answered "no". While walking away & pointing to me, the manager said to her, "Ask him". I responded like an imbëcile; 80 accounts, 40 cards/POS, ₦40million monthly. To add salt to injury, the branch car was made available to her most times.

She was given tasks that will make her develop faster as a banker. While I was left to roam about the streets of Lagos on foot like a lunatic, who is possessed by a legion of vagabond spirits recently rendered homeless by D.K. Olukoya of MFM. Three months later, our mate in another branch told me he never go on errands without their branch car, and that he even took driving lessons with it. Na dis kind people fit the industry. Lol.

This new girl almost made the same 'first impression' blunders I made that earned me the title of "the laziest staff the manager as ever seen". I was there for her at every step, mentoring her and teaching her how to deal with them (other staff members). I will defend her in her absence whenever they speak ill of her, and always advise her on how to correct these bad impressions. I never knew that I myself had become the topic of their gossips. They gossip me even with cleaners, drivers and security men.

There was a day I came late due to an accident in which my knees were bruised. They were still in the morning meeting when I got there. The BM queried "why are you just coming? who died?". "I will make this place unbearable for you if you don't sit up".

Then the scheming against me began to heat up. She joined them to gossip me. There was a time I caught three of them by the elbow; Fatima, ESUT girl and CSM. The Ambrose Ali lady (CSM) quickly lied that the manager was asking of me. I knew she was lying but just had to leave the room. I was thinking the ESUT girl will gist me later. I am still waiting for the gist as I type this föölish epistle.

Then ESUT girl started mocking me codedly. "You are going again?" She will ask with a sadistic smile whenever I am about leaving for marketing.

For six months they tried to destroy me psychologically. I will save what they did for later. My mates in V.I., Apapa, Nnamdi Azikiwe, and somewhere else in Lagos Island which I won't mention got similar toxic treatments, but with different flavours.

Their breakthrough came during an arranged MPR meeting where I was thoroughly mocked by all the staff. The BM even called me a slowpoke. ESUT girl laughed at their insults to my dismay. Then the manager noticed my mood has changed, & sensed the opportunity to go in for the kill. Stand up!", he shouted at me, I refused. They all shouted, stand up! even the ESUT girl. Then the head teller said in Yoruba, what the hell is wrong with this boy?" That got me really pissed off. I scanned the room, my previous supervisor was biting his lips and smiling slightly. The manager snapped his fingers at me, making the impression of 'I will deal with you'.

The CSM called me for a chat, she pretended as if she cared. But her opening statement gave her away. "What you did was very rude", referring to the MPR incident. She wasn't present. Her, the first teller who asked me if I have a strong shoe, the FGGC Calabar lady, and one other teller, a man from Kwara, left the room to attend to a matter before the attack happened.

She kept going round in circles, asking stupid questions like do I have problems convincing people to open accounts? Asking me if anyone in the branch offended me. Asking me to tell her what they did wrong so that they can avoid such mistakes in the future. I was now convinced it was an exit interview. I got to know they planned the whole thing a couple of months before.

By 12 noon I got a one-page query for insubordination and two other offences; the third was a serious one. He copied the HR Business Partner who was a graduate of English Language, and 2 other executives. I won't be surprised if he did a Blind Carbon copy to the entire banking group. I replied in three lines. Business partner said I should report to a particular HR staff on Friday of that week.

On Monday, I reported to head office, HR staff has gone on leave. It was another HR officer who attended to me. A short lady, she covered her ID card so I didn't see her name. She asked, "What did you do to them that made them write all those things against you?" I did not do anything, I replied. "And they wrote all those things", she said. "They can not all be bad people", she continued. She said I showed too much anger in my reply to the query. She then went on to give me a lecture on anger management. I kept looking like mumu.

Worried about my calmness, she asked me what the problem was. I told her I have become addicted to painkillers. She asked what my future career plan is, and I told her. Of course it was not banking. She said there are more mad people in that particular sector. She said they will get back to me.

My system password was about to expire the week of the incident, but I didn't reset it. I came around Tuesday morning to know my fate, nothing.

On Wednesday, BM showed me a letter from HR Business Partner dated Tuesday, indicating that I was done. "This is what I have been telling you", he said. He asked me to login and send my handover note but I told him I can't. He was trying hard to hold his laugh.

A month later, I was getting strange calls from unknown numbers. Maybe they wanted to know if I have committed suicide. By the grace of God I am gainfully employed.

Poor writing.

Their ethnicities and alma matters are not relevant to the discourse.

The write-up lacks structure and coherence and at the end of the day, it is extremely stressful to understand the essence of your narrative.

nwadiuko1:
why do you think of "vengeance" when you think of Obi's presidency? Did you do anything to them?

Ask your fellow IPOBs.

The discerning know that that's the reason for the lull in IPOBian agitation (at least online). They believe Obi will help them punish the north.

seunmsg:
garfield1 and fergie001, can APC use this same section to disqualify Gov. Bala Mohammed from the Bauchi state governorship race?

No.

You'd have to be blind to not know that all the IPOB youths online are supporting Obi with the vague hope that he would assist in some Igbo vengeance mission.

Ask yourself when last did you hear Nigeria referred to as a Zoo or when last did you hear Biafra till death or no referendum, no election.

Klington:
No reasonable Nigeria will kick against obi's candidacy.

Obi still remains the only Nigeria presidential candidate dead or alive to command so much organic followers

What Buhari commanded was what? Inorganic?

Worship your Obi in peace but don't lie and also understand that at this point you are exactly like Buharideens in 2015 chanting Febuhari. We still remember how we told them not to take humans as messiahs.

Cantonese:
Chai.

They must all give way and let Obi get there. Obi represents accountability, transparency and integrity.

Let’s go Labour Party!

He is not any worse or any better than Atiku.

No, I take that back. He is worse than Atiku as he is a pretender and hypocrite. Obi is no different from Buhari in terms of hypocrisy and false modesty.

Toneypen247:
'90% of Northerners are not on social media' is not something an elder statesman, a former vice president from the North, should ever say on TV.

That statistics could be true but it should never be a bragging right in 2022. It shows how underdeveloped the North is. Sad.

He didn't use it as bragging rights. He was only answering a question and being as realistic as possible. Do you really think that people in Fika, Yobe or Dogon Daji, Sokoto have heard of social media to know of Obi? The people shouting Obidient up and down think being vocal makes up for numbers. The fact that you are loud and shouting about something does not mean others are doing the same.

wandium:
I can bet she forgot her stuffs and does not want to take responsibility for her carelessness.
How possible is it for a driver to push you down while on the wheel in wuse zone 3 for that matter?
There is really more to the story.
For those that are not aware, wuse zone 3 especially the NYSC road is not where you can even do 60km/h during the day

But the driver has deactivated his social media. If he didn't do it, why is he not providing an explanation?

If he truly did this, then he must be on drugs.

Bolt has his full details. How does he hope to get away with it?

Why is he deactivating accounts?

Ideation is not the problem.

The problem is implementation and execution.

Na mumu dey marry

We tell them say na mumu dey marry, dem say na lie

If the accommodation was that important to the chef. S/he should have asked to see it before accepting the offer. Most BQ apartment in Ikoyi or Phase 1 for terrace apartment share kitchen and toilet. The apartment is never going to be the Hilton hotel. In any case, they fired the chef because there are lots of people who would take the job. This calling out is unnecessary. S/he is not Gordon Ramsay and is likely to get negative results from this rant. Who would want to employ a domestic staff that may air you on Linkedin over a disagreement?

How is he sure he is the one who impregnated her? For a girl that has had an abortion before, how is he sure he is the only knacker?

Yusufnairaland2:
So he pays 2m rent monthly? Abi wetin u dey talk? Patapata 4m rent for a duplex in dat same lekki someone earning 24m must also have other parole fetching him money. Plus the wife is a Branch manager..

There are mid level managers in oil and gas earning 36 million per annum who have done express entry to Canada. These are people I know.

Prozico22:
for nigeria name 1 legit nigeria business owner with that wrist watch

I really don't have time for this no-true-scotsman fallacy that you are on about.

Initially, it was no legitimate business owner. If I name a Nigerian, you will then either say he or she is not legitimate or that you don't know the person.

Like I said in another post, these watches are a good form of alternative investments. Just like fine art or gold bullion or jewellery.

meobizy:
His “elite” watch can’t trigger five alarms in a day or act as a stop watch. My cheap watch can do those and also sound off to indicate a new hour. The sweltering heat of my work environment will destroy the gears of his watch. If mine dies, I can easily throw it away to purchase another. My watch has a light I can press to know the time at night, his doesn’t. Watches are tools. I don’t see them as anything more.

I can’t use a phone in its place because of the threat of explosions.

Are you seriously trying to make a case that your throw away wrist watch is better than a Richard Mille watch? You don't even know the features of a Richard Mille watch or the benefits. By the way, your excuse of not using a phone for all those functions (stop watch, alarm etc) does not hold. Millions of people use phones for that without incident.

Trust me, if you could afford a Richard Mille watch, you would have bought it. It's as simple as that.

This is 2022. For people of his level, watches are for fashion not tools. He has a PA to keep the time. And like I said earlier on, unlike most other luxury items, luxury watches hold their value. They could last 100 years or more.

Same way GEJ said let's remove subsidy. Oversabi Nigerians were deceived by Occupy Nigeria but today the removal of the subsidy is a priority of the APC government and this is after a 100% increase in fuel price since GEJ left.

Sometimes you wonder if Nigerians are under a spell.

Christistruth00:
Post the picture of the watch with the price on the company website

That is just an ordinary wristwatch I doubt it is worth up to N50,000

The last time this happened with Aisha Buhari it turned out to be a Cheap Copy Of the wristWatch

So you think Seyi Tinubu is wearing a fake? Lol.

His shirt alone is 700k+.

Seyi Tinubu will not be caught dead wearing a 50k wrist watch.

Prozico22:
know legit business man go buy watch 340million

Lots of them will.

The same rich, legitimate business people who buy artworks and paintings for millions of dollars also buy premium Swiss wristwatches for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Vulturereloaded:
Who did mark Zuckerberg, bill gates, steve jobs know?

How much was obi worth before becoming governor? He was already rich, and is not surving on state funds.

He does not even collect pensions, unlike tinubu, whose family have not left lagos state purse till date.

Bill Gates attended a secondary school that had super computers at a time most UNIVERSITIES in the US did not have super computers. The Chairman of IBM (who played a big part in Microsoft's success story) was a family friend. His father was the Head of the Washington State Bar Association.

Mark Zuckerberg attended America's most prominent and most expensive high school, Philip Exeter Academy.

Don't be naive. You need serious starting advantages to be successful anywhere in the world.

meobizy:
If it’s not a smart watch then the money was utterly wasted. Who cares how much a watch is other than fellow watch watchers (pun intended)? Watch na watch. My wristwatch was purchased for five hundred naira yet it has served more than eight if not ten times its price tag. To justify the money spent on that fancy timepiece, it has to go down at least four branches of his family tree — highly impossible since Nigerians are quick to discard things.

Lol.

Premium watches are fantastic ways of holding wealth. It can be sold for 90-120% of its purchase cost, so just like people who spend multi-millions on paintings and sculpture, this is not a waste of money at all.

Also, premium watches are a good signaling tool to show you are elite. Your 500 naira watch will mark you as a broke ass among discerning people. That's why even understated billionaires who might be very thrifty and spend little or nothing on clothes or cars will spend huge amounts on Richard Mille or Patek or Rolex.

Wristwatches are not about utility. We could argue that your 500 naira was a waste as well since you can always look up time on your phone.

Bottom line, the wrist watch is not a waste.

Where are the cows?

1Sharon:
You sound naive, when women say "my house, my children" does it now make it theirs?


How the hell can she throw him out if he owns it?

The ones who never married, have they died?
Its not as if they desire you guys they desire the social benefits.

It is his own house.

You don't read.

Abroad (Western Europe and North America), if a man and his wife have a quarrel, the man has to leave, regardless of whether he is the one paying the rent or mortgage or regardless of if he owns it. It becomes even aggravated if he has kids with her (in that case, he has to keep paying the rent or mortgage even when not leaving there).

chiedozie198100:
very simple. I'll put the house up for sale.
that's why u get a prenup abroad, and never put any property in joint name or ur wife's name.

In the US, there are states where pre-nups are invalid. Also, as long as she has children for you, she is likely to get a chunk of child support. Pre-nups also have limited validity for wealth acquired AFTER the marriage. That's why you see that people who do pre-nups are those who already had wealth before marriage. If the bulk of your wealth was acquired after you got married, a prenup might not help you so much.