₦airaland Forum

Grammar: The difference between knowing your shitt and knowing you're shitt.

Difference between Man & Monkey
Give a monkey a typewriter and he may type out the works of shakespeare, but give an educated man a laptop and odds are he will look at naked women.

^obviously, and it's this 'go suck a cow's udder'

Mikuzdickhead

@OP, pls tell us about your first love. Maybe we could find the joke there.

@OP, I can see you're absolutely perplexed in all ramifications.
*There's no word liky 'welcome toNairaland'. It is 'how far? You don show?' no gentle man in this section.
*The first thing you should do is go register at yaba left. Get a number, uniform & bed take a photo of yourself in your new uniform with your colleagues. Paste it here.
*Next, go and read how to 'pluck kokonut'. Carryout the pratical. Never fail to post your experience here.
*whenever the elders here gives you advice go on your knees & accept it. Never reciprocate or rebuff.
*Don't drag anybody's wife concubine here.
*If you wish to set up a group name it 'Boko Haram' after you have gotten it registered with CAC.

*Finally go to priest Ototooro for deliverance.

useless thread. Where's Dani? Pls lock with immediate effect & delete as well.

indeed, lol
She should have prayed for Antonov An-255. ShitTThead mother.

@mcnepow, start from page one & you'll see. As if you don't know.

@switchgurl, I can bet my hair's longer than yours. You think it's by wearing synthetic shitttz? *SMD* vehemently. Network device

*puts a dynamite each into dustbin & donkey's joysticks respectively*

tnx Homar & Boo.

As for Priest Otooro, I understand your problem sir. You need Xanax, after which you need some sprinkling of 'cele water' then you'll be sent to Mikuz for cane deliverance. Am sure it's better than asylum in yaba left.

A very rich but local Alhaji, decided to open a bank account after lots of adverts to him. He's asked to go and take passport photographs. When he reached the studio he is placed before the camera & he began smilling. The photographer was shocked, he asked he 'sir please did you say you need passport photos?' The Alhaji replies 'sure'. The photographer goes on, 'so why are you smiling?' The man replies again 'this fictures are for my vank account, and I want to be smilling to my vank always va?'

~Peace, NJPC Rocks~

This highlights the lack of technological dexterity amongst our politicians

Two Nigerian Politicians traveled to Canada for a conference & they were not allowed to attend with their PAs.

After the first day of brainstorming, they need some cash to do some shopping. Now they are standing in a queue to use an ATM machine. This discussion ensues

Man1: Ah! I know your pin
Man2: and what is it?
Man1: it's **** (star into four) hahahaha, I'll steal your money
Man2: You're so dumb, you failed. It's 5073.
Man1: ??

Tatti ka parkoda

Another waste of time + bandwidth

^I'm seriously suggesting that this wholly matrimony be done before Okija shrine. Except you've got a shrine at your place. Because am sure Almighty won't accept this people if we go by anything that has transpired in his thread.

that awkward moment when you think you're incharge and you suddenly realize you're under control.

Yikes

^what do you now know?

with guys like you Suto, NJPC is always on the ascendancy.

Am laughing my ph*ckn arse out, pls call the ambulance too.

sutoboy:
hehehehehe

see u!


why Booqee?

i trust her sha

she cant do such!

Pls bro, you need to be careful. I heard she does seize joysticks, microphones, etc. So for your safety pls don't this kind of questions here again so you don't get into trouble.

Answer: Boo'll do
Btw, are u soliciting for sth here?

is this a joke?

realsammie:
this is rubbish, mr moderator, if pple keep postin old jokes then this section should be scrape. still ANGRY. in short off 2 romance this is an old joke, if u dnt av something 2 post. go watch the super eagles

First you're a newbie son of beetch so you have no ph*ckn job here.
Second, you have no sense of humour, hence you're a ram's deek.
Third, Tere muh vich lan(can't express it in english).
Four, you're a panchod.
Five, Jhant paad dyunga.

You better get the ph*ck outta here and get lost forever. Heediotic He-goat!

^you're the man

Pls also piss in their -*nts too

^who cares?

swtchicgurl:
why can't guys leave me alone!
i'm i the only chic on here!  

MODERATORS PLEASE GET SOME MORE LADIES HERE PLEASE!!!!  

Answer: a switchgurl is a networking device that is used by one & all. E.g Mikuz uses & gives to Mcnepow

mcnepow:
U and who go do that one??

Not me & the wife, I mean all those people who're ph*ckn slotty e.g mcnepow

Meanwhile what's mcnepow?

Does it by any means mean 'microphone power'?

swtchicgurl:
*yawns*

you need rest

*smd*

This night is gonna be real good. Never seen Boo post a joke before and a nice one at that. Ride on Gal!

Comments: point any guy you wish to hangout with and your wish 'll be granted

WTF?
kripyia tere muh vich lan!

Pls priest Otooro am so ph*ckn tired of this shit marriages. Non's pure, they're all s*xivorous & they're not ashamed to display this slotty attitude in public.

SMH in utter disgust.

I'd suggest you let them tie their nuptial knots in front of Okija shrine.

^^

Lame footballer, scoring indeed. Are u playing & commenting @ same time? Everyone can see your fraud in here. Where's d priest Otooro, pls come & conduct deliverance for binladen.

Commentary(Gary):
I don't really understand how bin would be running out of the field into the commentary box to join in the commentary of this match. I mean Bryan, it beats my imagination. I think the centre refereee is giving him a warning, should he repeat it again he surely will be sent off.

Oh! OMG! Sutoboy just scored a breath-taking goal. It's NJPC 1, Projan yet to score.

The fans are on there feet. All the 'oles' for NJPC now. They're really good.

Commentator(Gary):
offside goal bin, it's been disallowed. So unfortunate you don't know soccer rules

Now NJPC goal keeper passes the ball to his central defender. The pass starts going on so well that it looks like a training routine for NJPC. Projaners are vigorously chasing the game but it's obvious there's only one team billed to win the match.

This NJPC side reminds me of the Arsenal squad of 2001-2005. They understand themselves so well & never in confusion of what to do with the ball. They're trully a joy to watch.

Assistant(Bryan):
You know Gary, the NJPC fans are enjoying themselves now.

^^lmao, you're joking with headache(advice only)