₦airaland Forum

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to Bleep your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave

@Chacal
Ando is just too good at his age am beginning to suspect
I can't wait for the bridge. Chelski didn't look that good against Assanal and I believe with the way things are,
Vida and Rio can handle Drogba and Anelka.
I strongly believe that their four yr record will be blown to the winds by United.

@McOmo
So this pillock is still wishing for the title.
Ok ooh its good to have hope. But run for your life if you hear the name Chelski
And better jump into the Ocean if hear Manure not to talk of MAN UTD!!!

@Chacal
I am still revelling in Nani's goal. Giggsy is now a starter while Nani will be the Super Sub. Can you imagine his pin point crosses.
I will try and watch one of the Friendlies today May France England or Brazil Sweden.

I wonder what planet some of us came from?
Pls What program generated this SOMZE of a guy? Your arguments are not consistent; from Refs  siding Utd to Ronaldo scoring more Pens in a league season. I wonder where you will go next maybe "Fergi is a 12th United player abi"

Gradually all the Assanal fans here are gradually deleting themselves. When was the last time McOmo, Loyika and the rest posted.
They should be galant in defeat and come out here and claap for us!!

Our back four is getting better by the day. Imagine conceding just 15 goals after 31 premier league matches.
Ronaldo is on his way to being a Man Utd legend for those who hate to hear his name. he has already set a record as scoring the highest number of goals as a Midfielder after breaking George Best's record of 32 in all competitions set in 1967/68 season.
I am actually looking to what the record is in England.
I am begining to relish the race with Chelski behind. Since Mourinho left with his negative football, i lost my fear about them. That had a way of frustrating games. I dare say we will break that 4 yr unbeaten record at Stamford bridge.

@ Assanal fans,
Enough of the noise. Now you have to go back and ask ya Wengay to get more players and build a team with character. I don't know how he expected to field the same players for 38 premier league matches FA and League Cup and the Champions League. Unless you just want to make Profit with an empty Trophy shelf then go hire Wenger as a coach. let no one come here and tell they will win the UCL cos Liv'pool go use vex finish them up.
As for character, it come with experience and I can count how many experienced players in their side.

Let no one be deceived they still have a foot in the race but Chelsea has an edge and you don't win trophy going 5 games winless.
The strategy has got to change, beef up the squad with more young and good players and about 5 or 6 six good and experienced players that have to impact a lot on the younger ones.


ONE UTD!!!

The Scoucers tasted a bit of what a deadly United Side can do. Even with all the missed chances we still pushed three pass them Men I love that Nani Rooney tee up for the Third Goal. It was a great one and should be a good one for goal of the season  

@ Assanal
From First to Second and then Third
Maybe soon you will bragging a UEFA cup place with them Everton
Kpelee to ya all

Now the Title now boils down to a fight between Man U and Chelski


Where are them Utd
Cassiel, Jackal, etc!!!

Happy Easter to all Man Utd fans and Footie fans in general

ONE UTD!!!

"Yet again, Ronaldo's technique for striking dead balls came into question and, when asked if he had christened his style, he replied: "Rocket. I like to hear people say 'the Ronaldo rocket'. I am joking!"
You 've heard it all Peopss

Its no Longer a "Ronaldo FreeKick" Its Ronaldo Rocket'

opponents be Wary!!!

Defenders all around the World
FEAR HIM!!!

It was good to know we won. All the Satelite channels didn't show the Match
Does anyone know where I can watch the highlights online?
Pls reply asap.

ONE UTD!!!

@Enokoko
I did not intend to label you a fraudster. All damages my message may have caused your person is duly and sincerely regretted. I tender forthwith my unreserved apologies.

That aside, there is something that has not been cleared;
In 2005, the Govt of Olusegun Obasanjo banned the importation of some goods mostly due to the availability of local substitutes. And foutunately or otherwise cars above 8yrs were also banned so was the Importation of Cars thru all Land Borders in the country because of what they termed was making our country a dumping ground for old unwated autos in Europe and America.

I have 2 very good relatives that import cars. 1 from Switzerland and the other from United States of America. As long as that car is above 8yrs, they are sending them to Nigeria via Cotonou. The one in Swiss has suffered 2 losses because the agent working for him didn't settle the appropriate people hence he lost a 1996 BMW 735i to Custom officers in 2006 and later a Honda Accord 1995 to Customs in 2007.

For all his imports, i have been involved and at no point were we asked to pay for duties for the cars. And just like some other people do we call a normal office that we work with, bargain with him depending on the type of car btw 40k and 65k. We hand over the car to him after we must have cleared with the Beninois Gendarmes and one of his boys wait on him till around early morning when they tke off. On a good day, before 6am the folowing day, we take delivery of the car in FESTAC and sell it from there.
So brother if you are paying any duty, I don't know but i have just given you a detailed movement of our cars.

My questions then are;
What duty are you paying for when the product you are importing is Banned?
To whom and are you always issued a receipt and clearance to that effect?
Why do they not collect such duty for cars that age at the Seaports?

Simply this issue is Illegit and has no basis for being legitimate whether you pay "Duty" or not.

Answer these question and clear the air for any doubts i might have in my mind.

doyin13:
Who Neville dey cross to- - - - - - - - - - - Carlos Tevez and Rooney?

The big aerial threat is Ronaldo. . . .

Una dump Saha wey for give una height in the box.

The Commission for Racial Equality should investigate Fergie walahi.

I wonder whether the planet u came from had injury in their dictionary.
Tevez scored his first United Goal with a head Vs Chelski.
So a well tailored cross can do the damage and thats why I am itching for Gary

I can't wait to tell you of what happened on my way home from work yesterday.
I met an old school friend preaching to a Lady about how God has already annointed a Husband for her and that was why she didn't get married last year because she didn't find the Mr, Right.
I couldn't help laughing at this Guy who according to what He told me last was supposed to be in Turkey by now studying.
To think we all played the Women game and he did the shagging endlessly before graduating was a good laugh at.

I just hope the Guy in question didn't meet this type of Pastor and decided not to marry else go and find out what you did or whether you were used and dumped. Word.!!!!!s

4Play
Its good to know that These guys are back. I will suggest that they get the first team to win the game and then these guys can come on to warm up.
I will love to see Gary Again. His right wing crosses is something Wes Brown has made me long for. I will also love to Mikeal Silvestre but he needs some reserves games to warm up. I am only afraid the age weakness bedeviling Ryan and Escholey may have caught up with him given that he's one of the longest serving players in the United list. All the same i hope they go a long spell without injury and that the Gaffer gets his selection right.

ONE UTD!!!

ayusman16:
Since u claim to be a messiah or prophet or even some shit, please predict what's going to be the outcome of the match on Sunday?

Anusman, he needn't be a Prophet to predict how it will all go at the wknd
My predictions are;

Chelski 1 - 1 Arsenal
Man U 2 - 1 Liv'pool

utd will be topping by the end of the weekend and also extending the lead.

@Viperman
You expect me to retrace when you have not explained what I ought to understand. When you were upbraiding me, i thought you were about to explain how it works and what makes it Legit but here u are telling me how many of your cars that came in thru Cotonou. Does that make it Legit.

For your Info, I said Importation of Cars Thru Land Border is BANNED and here you are saying "Moved In" Does that change the situation? As long as that car was not registered in Naija, IT IS SMUGGLING.word!!!
Else, explain to me how to deal with the Customs officer to makeit Legit (Maybe bribing).

Yes, all the cars my brother sent and was sold in Nigeria that were Above 8yrs, Were smuggled in from Cotonou. You can get to Bargain with the Customs Officers between 40 and 70k. They will settle their officers on the route to lagos and will DRIVE THE CAR IN QUESTION THEMSELVES TO YOUR PLACE
So how that makes it legit is still a mystery to me or Viper I believe there is something I don't know U know and you are not telling me. I will love to hear you debunk these claims!!!!!

@Viperman
You expect me to retrace when you have not explained what I ought to understand. When you were upbraiding me, i thought you were about to explain how it works and what makes it Legit but here u are telling me how many of your cars that came in thru Cotonou. Does that make it Legit.

For your Info, I said Importation of Cars Thru LanD Border is BANNED and here you are saying "Moved In" Does that change the situation? As long as that car was not registered in Naija, IT IS SMUGGLING.word!!!
Else, explain to me how to deal with the Customs officer to makeit Legit (Maybe bribing).

Yes, all the cars my brother sent and was sold in Nigeria that were Above 8yrs, Were smuggled in from Cotonou. You can get to Bargain with the Customs Officers between 40 and 70k. They will settle their officers on the route to lagos and will DRIVE THE CAR IN QUESTION THEMSELVES TO YOUR PLACE

This guy nawa ooh
Who one come begin price this one here
Anyway when I become First Bank MD na that one go be my Official Car

yemmight:
Ituen,

You should'nt be here

He should be analysing jokes on the Jokes Thread. I use to think he was a gunner

@ Chacal
I wonder where all these Doofus came from and who allowed them into Nairaland.
I can't imagine that Autistic Savants are infiltrating NLD and these Gaynners are their source of entry.

@Jackal
I must say Anderson was not at his best on Saturday. He wobbled like an injured player a bit. I hope he comes back to full force to deal Steven G comes Sunday.

I am no longer afraid of Chelski since Mourinho left them. They look beatable now but still solid at home. I predict a draw for their game with Assanal at the Weekend.
One of my Chelsea friend sent me a mail at the beginning at of the season when we had striking problems that we might be on our way to the championship. He was forced to beat a repeat when Mourinho left and they lost 2 - 0 to us.

@JK
It feel extremely Exhilarating to be a Manc. There is no better place to be than OT.


ONE UTD!!!

Please note that th Poster has triggered my alarm bell for Fraud.

For your information, IMPORTATION OF CARS MORE THAN 8 YEARS OLD IS BANNED IN NIGERIA AND IMPORTATION OF CARS THROUGH LAND BORDERS IS ALSO BANNED

So before anyone falls for this Mugu please check again!!!

I was dead scared as the Match went on. But I was happy about a few things. Ben Foster never looked like out for Nine Months and I think he's a bit better than Kitkat. His Service is something else and those two saves made my day.
I am afraid we being charitable in front of goal and our early season period when we drew goaless and won by lone goals may just be back. Pls for goodness sake let us sell O'Shea by next season. That guy is not supposed to be in a team the Cliber of Man Utd. I wonder what Giggs was doing on the pitch. As far as am concerned, if there is no energy to back up that experience you may well return to the classroom and teach football. I hated his sluggish movement. We must realise and Fergie also that you don't play fringe players like O'shea and Giggs unless the three points are in your hands and the game is in under your control. Thanks to Ronaldo I don't think we would have left with the Three points. This just confirmed to me that a pure 9 is a requirement at Old Trafford. And whats this am hearing about Luis Fabiano of Sevilla and Man Utd!!!?

All the same, its good to go a top I hope Chelski and Assanal draw while we beat Liverlesspool.


ONE UTD!!!!

Champions League quarter-final draw:
1 Arsenal v Liverpool
2 AS Roma v Man Utd
3 Schalke 04 v FC Barcelona
4 Fenerbahce v Chelsea
Champions League semi-final draw:
1 Arsenal/Liverpool v Fenerbahce/Chelsea
2 Schalke/Barcelona v AS Roma/Man Utd

What a draw!!!  AS Roma Again. I know it won't be another 7-1 but i believe we will be in the Semis
I am a bit sure Arsenal can beat Liverpool. But they shouldn't get mouth running yet.

@Mc Omo
Most times i begin to wonder if u were created with a brain  
You attention seeking RAT
I will simply get my cat to chop off your head.

Iti akwu!!!!!!!

@Chuckdee
be prepared for the fireball U lighted with that harmless question.
U ran away the first time U might still do a de ja vu.

@Mc omo
U cut a picture of a dunce-just-gone-mad.
U are a metaphor for Dementia. I wonder when u will stop assessing intellectuals like me based on your level of illiteracy.
The fact that Ur retarded brain can't analyse footie doesn't equal me as someone wanting to belong or wait,,, are u afraid that am getting the recognition u never had but keep boasting of?  
Sorry dude try to do it better next time maybe after some kindergarten class. I suggest that you try a genetic engineer to enhance ur mental composition.
Thats if you understand who a genetic engineer is   Maybe your fellow twats will xplain if they know or just go to the Chelsea thread i think they can tell you.

Debosky
U live a life that looks patched up. Your analysis is soo kindergarten that you fail to differentiate btw a typo and bad spelling
I will advice that you join Mc-ariel in his kindergarten class hmmm!!!
Scumbag

I just don't know why these Porcupines called Gaynners won't stay on there Thread.
Oh!!! Now I remember the last time someone posted a reply there was on Monday.
So they are looking for fun and attention at the wrong place. They should better be wary.
Cos someone might lose his head in this Thread.
Loyika and other Scumwat Porcupines like him should take note. Debosky learnt his lesson and has been keeping clear even that one that went for a Psychiatric Check Up in Munich has shown he can't stand the fury that comes out of here.

PLEASE BE WARNED!!!!!!!!!

@Debosky
In your quest for some recognition, u left ur 'good as dead' Gaynners forum to come and seek the attention of brillant United fans. No we won't take that. You are no longer arguing with cassiel, U are even now calling her a DARLING!!!! , Blimey, where has the that sense of differentiation gone to
Be careful ooh else we will descend on you??!!

Your retarded Porcupine of a Coach Wengay has refused to be a man!! Saying one thing today and meaning another. I hope he doesn't come tomorrow to say he regrets bearing the name Arsene Wenger!!!!

Pls move on and don't look back. I hope U 've not made the mistake of going to beg him.
Just go on as if nothing really happened, that if u can because its a terrible hurt that not everybody can bear.


But i bet you, I he doesn't see you jumping around for him, HE WILL COME BEGGING ONE DAY Mark my words!!!

With the just concluded PDP convention throwing up Vincent Ogbulafor as its new Chairman, do you think the Party has succeded in neutralising the powers that former president Olusegun Obasanjo wields within the party hierarchy. Methinks that its up to the way the Chairman handles him and his stooges. I would have prefered Anyim Pius Anyim due to his no nonsense stance just like just like the immediate past Senate president Ken Nnamani.
Lander, what do you think.