₦airaland Forum

1) Why does the glue in a tube not stick to the tube itself?

2) Why do we press down hard on the remote control even though we know that the batteries are weak?

3) Switched those bulbs that are enclosed in tight plastic shutters? Have you noticed that whenever you go to do that there are always dead bugs inside? How did they manage to get there?

4) Why can't we ever manage to open a plastic bag on the first attempt?

5) Why don't we ever hear jokes about father-in-laws?

6) How many times will be keep coming back and opening the door to the fridge when we are hungry? Do we really think that food will appear there miraculously?

7) I'm sure you've heard of the evolutionary claim that mankind has evolved from monkeys. Before I am to believe this, I want to know that if this is so why are monkeys still roaming earth?

If you are sitting by a table and something is accidentally falling off, don't try and prevent its fall. Why? Every time you try, you will accidentally hit and break something else. Why?

9) How come soap bubbles are always white no matter what the colour of the soap?

10) Is it winter or summer wherever you are right now? Have you noticed that if it is summer we try and make the house as cold as it would be during winter, and if it is winter, we try and make the house as hot as it would during summer?

Do you think any Eagle's bench player can make the change for Nigeria against Ivory Coast on sunday?
Except Austin Ejide (GK)

List of the eagle's squad:
1. Vincent Enyeama
2. Austin Ejide
3. Chigozie Agbim
4. Elderson Echiejile
5. Juwon Oshaniwa
6. Joseph Yobo
7. Efe Ambrose
8. Azubuike Egwuekwe
9. Kenneth Omeruo
10. Godfrey Oboabona
11. John Mikel Obi
12. Nosa Igiebor
13. Ogenyi Onazi
14. Brown Ideye
15. Obiora Nwankwo
16. Fegor Ogude
17. Reuben Gabriel
18. Ahmed Musa
19. Emmanuel Emenike
20. Victor Moses
21. Ikechukwu Uche
22. Ejike Uzoenyi
23. Sunday Mba

By NAOMI UZOR
The Nigerian Association of Chambers of
Commerce, Industry, Mines and
Agriculture (NACCIMA), Saturday, urged
the Federal Government to sell off or
privatise the current local refineries in
the country while encouraging new
private refineries to be setup.
In a parley with pressmen on the New
Year press statement on the national
economy, the President of NACCIMA, Dr.
Ademola Ajayi, said the Federal
Government and relevant bodies
involved such as NNPC, NIPC BPE, etc
should sell off or privatise the current
local refineries in the country while
encouraging new private refineries to be
setup.
Warri Refinery
“We need to remind Government that
there is hope for a positive turnaround
for Nigeria in 2013. This is because our
association believes in dialogues,
partnerships and cooperation without
dereliction of our duty to call to attention
and where ever and whatever is
unfavourable to the economy and to
profitability of businesses” he said
He said there is need to avoid fuel price
increase and meanwhile, compile actual
quantities sold through petrol station
pumps and do all that would enable us
to compare with total claims of refineries
and ensure the speedy passage and
signing into law of the Petroleum
Industry Bill (PIB), which was first
submitted about six years ago to the
National Assembly.
Ajayi said government should be
determined to recover by legal means
funds such as the US$29 billion, which
the Ribadu-led committee was quoted as
recoverable payments from International
Oil Companies (IOCs), adding that the
recovered funds will help in the
development of the country.
He called on the relevant bodies to curb
the high propensity for borrowing from
abroad, except from International
Institutional Lenders such as IMF, ADB,
World Bank, IFC, etc, only for specific
developmental projects and accelerate
payment of local debts owed indigenous
businesses to enable expand, generate
wealth and create jobs. This, he said, is
only fair if treated with same attitude
shown in collecting debts owed
Governments.
On the issue of power, he said the cost
of electricity has become intolerable as
the bills have gone high despite the fact
that power is not constant. “You can say
that the cost of electricity must go up,
but that is when the electricity is
constant, when you don’t need your
private generators, then you can say the
price is reasonable, but when you spend
so much on electricity and also spend so
much on fuel or diesel then it is not
cheap or reasonable” he stated.


http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/01/sell-off-or-privatise-local-refineries-naccima-to-fg/

Is it always true that most people that occupied first row in class are genius or brillant student?

Dedicate one you need most to your lover. They says ''Prayer Change'' these are Lover's Prayer.

>I pray that your love is more than enough to weather the storm
>I pray that you're strong the nights that i'm gone and you're home alone
>I pray you'll forgive Whatever i did that brought you the tears
>I pray that the sun continues to shine with all that you do, No matter the bad, and no matter how low you'll make it through
>I pray that I'm there whatever you want, whatever you need
>I pray that your smile would light up my life won't ever fade
>I pray that the trials we share between us won't ever break
>I pray that you hold all of your dreams you will exceed
>I pray that your heart carries apart, apart of me
>I pray here right now as i make this vow we last through the years
>My final prayer you'll/i'll take this ring forever and you will/ i will bear all my/your seed.

Anyone you choose try to put it into action.
Don't forget; The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

So where did I go wrong? How could I wind up in such despair? My derailment occurred because I was looking for happiness, not joy. There is a major difference between happiness and joy. Happiness in life is transitory, dependent on circumstances. Joy continues regardless of trials. That's especially true in marriage. When a couple discovers joy, they are free to enjoy marriage the way it was designed by God. And they are able to endure all that life throws at them.

These are five things every individual (not just married people) needs in life, but we tend to look for them in all the wrong places. But when we have these five things, we are able daily to experience indescribable joy.

First, I Needed an Energy Source to Recharge My Spiritual and Emotional Batteries

Second, I Needed Someone to Whom I Could Pour Out My Heart and Talk to About Anything at Any Time

Third, I Needed to Understand My Emotions, For They Were Warning Lights Telling Me I Was in Trouble

Fourth, I Needed to Know That There Is Meaning in the Trials We Endure
The Bible makes a promise—though it is one we don't really want to claim—that we all will endure trials. Trials are an inevitable part of life. But you may not totally unprepared for this trauma.

Fifth, I Needed to Have a Shared Mission with My Wife/Husband That Was Beyond Us, One That We Could Strive for Together.

A guy was beat mercilessly just because he asked the policemen for identification after they asked him to come down from his car.

Pls what are the things to say or not to say, when police says identify.

Assuming you're in a bus and mess is catching you, what to do instead of allowing people to rain curses on you.

To me i will say:
Gather your momentum together and release it with force and with great noise.
Like:- praaaapoooo,foohhh,fiinnn
(NOTE: silent is disallowed)!
Immediately you released it look at the person at your left/right/front/back side, smile small, say sorry and then brow your face. Trust me everybody will burst into

what do you think?

I dey vex @op because i'm a starmer.....

1. Appointed Time:- says is the particular time that has been assign for someone in life to achieve a purpose.

2. What would be will be:-says no matter how strugle the person is, what he/she will acquire is what he/she will surely acquired or some event will surely occur.

Is it always true, do you believe them or changes can come base on someone believe?

Key player to watch Webb if u like hit head on wall who care!

Man U al d way...

Many men say that they treat their women like queens, but if you asked their counterparts, the response would not be the same. Here are some ways to treat her like a queen and never be a lonely king.

1. Start a day with her with a lovely greeting like:
*The gentleness voice of a DOVE denote its beautiful inner greetings, may my heartly greeting be accepted your excellency Ma!

2. After the moring meal, hold her two hands and look into her eyes and tell her '' I love U'' then pray a short prayer like: I pray may your love pave away for 'us' today.

3. In the office give her a call/sms tell her: every man deserve to have a queen but i thank God for the special one i got, i luv u your excellency!

4. Open the car door for her and say come down 'my queen'.

5. After you back from work at home hold her hands and say thank God for your love i have a work-stress free today my queen.

6. Treat her like a real baby:- At night after she have laid the bed, carry her and lay her on bed and knee beside her and say a short prayer like:
* I pray you'll forgive whatever i did that brought you inner tears.
* I pray that i'm there whatever you want whatever you need.
* My final prayer, God will protect you till moring.
''Slip well my Heart Treasure''
The sweetest scene you could ever witness on earth is watching the one you love, sleeping, while saying your name ♥

Doing this it can save that marriage that about to collapse, also re-ignite your love and strenghten a well strong marriage.

[quote author=Glorified_Tunde]How would u respond to this?
ABOKI: I dey craze?
Ans:[/quote]Ans: No be small

Shollypopz: Number 4 and 7 killed me!! The others, not so funny

One that baffle me most, a conductor give a dude dirty slap the dude ask: u slap me?
i said no, he just check ur tribal mark.

God have mercy

These two words are found common using among ladies nowadays BUT & JUST

in a statement like:
1. I dont love you BUT....
2. I dont need the money JUST that...
3. I can help u cook that delicious food BUT....
4. I'm not sayng u should give me money for the clothe i JUST want to tell you e.tc

why are they always using these words?

Thnk God for safe delivery, only God knows what will hav happened

Then wait na u will soon turn to his choice and u may do it till u add zero @ back of ur three.

Funny questions people ask in obvious situations

1. At market: hey! What are u doing here?
Ans: Dont u know! I sell vegetables here.

2. In bus: A heavy lady wearing high heel shoes steps on ur feet: Sorry did that hurt?
Ans :not at all. I'm on local anesthesia. Why dont you try again?

3.When u get woken up at midnight by a phone cal:
sorry! Were u sleeping?
Ans: No! I was doing a research whether earth is round or not. You thought i was sleeping!

4.When you see a friend with evidently short hair: hey! Hv u had a haircut?
Ans: nah! Its autumn season and I'm shedding...

5. At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Why, why him, of all people.
Ans:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

7. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks... Oh, so you smoke.
Ans:- Gosh, it's a miracle it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

8. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... Is the guy you're marrying good?
Ans:- No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just his teeth.

See dem all dreaming billionaire

Women are twice as likely to accept a date from a stranger if they have just heard a romantic song, according to a study.

Around 52 per cent of the women who had listened to romantic music gave him their phone number compared to 28 per cent whohad heard ‘neutral’ music, it was reported in the journal Psychology of Music.

The study only looked at the effect of romantic music on women. Professor Adrian North, a psychologist at Heriot Watt University, said the influence of music on romance was harder to study in men.

No wonder they are runing after 2baba, twins Okoye, Debanjo, Tima

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1343561/Music-really-food-love-Women-twice-likely-date-stranger-slushy-songs.html

This is the real snake that decieved EVE in the Garden of eden, thank God they finally killed it.






Another history

Before you clock 30, you should know ...

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.

2. How you feel about having kids.

3. How to quit a job, break up with a man/woman, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

4. When to try harder and when to walk away.

5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.

6. The names of the secretary of state, president, powerful man of God, your great-grandparents, and the best tailor in town.

7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.

8. Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat/eateries -- when your soul needs soothing.

9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips/Dic**k, or the nature of your parents.

10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.

11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.

12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.

13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.

14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.

15. Why they say life begins at 30.

What's on your personal list of things should know -- and possibly do -- before turning30?

i laugh soteeee i fall for ground, niaja for show

buhak: AM YET TO SEE ALL THIS THINGS IN IKOTUN LOCAL GOVERNMENT

Pls relocate to where you can see it live and direct i.e Ago-Palace way, Oshodi, VI e.t.c

Fashi Baba..

Sometimes we want people to applause us on things we do not even necessary is OK by us but just to satisfied them either in the Church, Mosque, Office, Market, Eateries, Relationship e.t.c.

Have you ever did something and poeple are trying to condemn you but your conscience is judging you right, that you have satisfied yourself?

For me i always try to please people don't no why and it hurt always!

I reserve my comment