₦airaland Forum

First thought?

Oh sh!t.

Imakeherdrip:
IMHO, to end it without much pain,I'll simply paint myself black for her to see no good in me.
This is how:
Give her a killer smile ending it with tears; tell her that you do not deserve a lady like her, that's it's best you guys part ways(hold her close before she loses her wit)...wetin you go tell her when she ask why you think say you no deserve her? That one no konsain me o my guy, cook up something.

That seems unnecessarily mean and untruthful.

Taiyescott:
which are?

Vaginismus is the one I can remember - when you clench up. It can be psychosomatic, but not always. But a lot of women have endometriosis which can cause sex to be painful.

Marry the one you love or you will always regret. You don't learn to love. You just love - it is God given.

There are medical reasons that cause sex to be painful at all times for women, even after they are "deflowered".

chigoizie7:
Maybe u forgot to read where I said, "that u really don't know it was a game"?

Yes. But relationships aren't a game to me. I put years of my life into this. It wasn't a "fling" or anything. He won. Now I know it was a game to him. That's what hurts the most.

Sincere4u:
This technique is wicked and mean to me. I can't apply it to someone I had loved no matter what led to the breakup. My ex cheated so badly that I couldn't go on with her.
She was just about becoming my wife at the time of discovery. Her cries and pleas didn't fall on deaf ears. Having forgiven her, I set a limit to that forgiveness which is that we could never continue with the relationship yet she still has a place in my heart.
I pick her calls at times and reply her messages when I feel like but I have still been able to move on though not in any relationship yet. I keep urging her to move on too and wished her well.
I can never bring myself to apply this draconian and heartless rule.
Not if one truly loved and cherished that person before things went wrong. Only whites and like minded blacks can apply the no contact rule.

That's fine. Each to their own. As I said, this only works in certain circumstances and is really just a method to get over heartbreak more easily. I have said before that No Contact doesn't last forever, just until you have enough space to have moved on emotionally. To the point where you are no longer hurting from being dropped or by the idea that a person no longer loves you.

If cheating occurs, I believe that the relationship is shattered beyond repair. My personal belief is that if someone loves, then they don't cheat. Everything after the cheating will be marred by the idea that someone has been unfaithful and can therefore do it again. Trust is a hard thing to rebuild.

Having said that, if you were able to rebuild your relationship then well done! You are obviously a strong person and very in love. I wish you the best in your relationship

Ps. Please don't be mean to me because I'm white. The No Contact rule has worked for so many people. It may be Draconian to you, but sometimes people have to exercise this rule in order to regain their self-esteem and balance in life.

Everyone: thank you so much for your kind words and support.

I spent years in this relationship and I was hurt badly. It wasn't like we met and I was asked to marry within 3 months. We dated for a long time, we were engaged to be married for a year.

I think it's time I moved on with my life. God will lead me correctly on whatever path he has chosen for me, I am sure of it.

Again, thank you all (all of you who weren't mean) for your kind words and support.

chigoizie7:
Not really, I don't even know her. But that is how it is.

She wants him because she wants to settle down with a man.

He wants her because he wants her money.

One party outsmarted the other and the other party is crying fowl.

It seems like you think when people enter a relationship, the relationship is a game.

My relationship wasn't a game to me. I didn't "play". I entered with an open heart, mind and soul.

If you think relationships are about winning and losing, then I feel really sorry for you. You can never achieve true love with that attitude.

However, each to their own.

boostdom:
People pay her no mind. Read her posts starting from www.nairaland.com/foolinlove/posts/25 forward. She is the same person as "stupedinluv". She claims to have been hurt by only one man but I guess that is enough sample size to justify the baseless filth on ALL men which she spouts.

Beyond her nicely worded texts, lies a troll consciously trying to cover up her weakness, debility, frustrations, feelings of inadequacy through the amplification of subtle aggression at her supposed source of inferiority. This is a classic case of the psychology of failing over-compensation.

Her attempt at self-alienation is infantile and laughable and if you had an IQ higher than room temperature, you had dismiss her irrational and illogical rants as the ramblings of a fevered mind going through an epiphany.

I have a lot to say about this, firstly...

1. I am not stupedinluv.
She is equally as unhappy about us being mistaken for one another, just because we're both white and both had bad relationship experiences. If these are the only two things we have in common, then you should look further. There are a lot of white girls in the world who have been treated badly. If I were to apply your rules, I could say almost every man on here who is black and has cheated o a girl is the same guy. Many people on here have similar monikers. Which leads me to my second point...

2. I am touched that you have read all of my posts.
You seemed to miss the parts where I said I have dated a lot - that every guy I've been with has cheated on me; that the guy in question was just the most recent and hurt the most. You seem to miss the *context* of a lot of my posts. You also seem to miss the finer points of my writing like...

3. I don't hate men.
When I joined this forum, I did - unfair, I agree. But I have met a lot of lovely men on here. A more accurate description of my feelings today is a hatred of patriarchal ideals which seem to be popular on this forum. People's feelings change all the time, which you would know because...

4. You seem to have studied psychology at some point.
Congratulations. You have spent time doing a historical study of largely debunked theories, which you are now applying to me in order to prove I am in some way insane. You are not a doctor and psychology is not a science - it is renowned to heavily manipulate statistical data.

Your career as a psychologist will - if you are lucky - consist of listening to people cry about a dead pet, then trying to help them move on with their lives by writing lists of goals, looking at pictures of rainbows and sticking positive affirmations on the wall next to their bed.

If you are interested in the brain and want to effect change to peoples' lives, be a psychiatrist. A qualified doctor who can make differential diagnoses and has an actual prescription pad to assist people with medically proven methods.

Speaking in terms of myself: I have had several psychiatric assessments due to various traumas I have suffered (such as the death of my parents) with no signs or symptoms of any mental illness noted. I have a preliminary assessment of you, but I'm not going to inflame the argument. Thanks for your concern though. I can see you put a lot of effort into your "assessment" of me, so I have something to say about you...

5. You are not a good writer.
Use of flowery language and big words do not make a good writer. Good writing is about being clear, concise and accessible. That means use smaller words/sentences, make sure text can be understood by a wide audience and make it easy to read (formatting). I could go over your post and correct it for you (like the bits where you have omitted articles, misused words/plurals etc.) but I don't care enough. You'll get there by yourself because you care. I care, which is why...

6. I'm a good writer.
And I know how to argue objectively. You claim that my "rants" are illogical and irrational. Evidence? I argue dispassionately for human rights, I give (sometimes) solid relationship advice, decry unfaithfulness in relationships, and occasionally provide sex education. I'm sure I've said a few other things, too. Which brings me to the next thing I want to say:

7. Fvck you.
This is my thread. A lot of people have been supportive of me, for which I truly thank them. I've had a tough time and made some friends here. I like the internet, I like debating, especially in an arena where people are likely to disagree - it sharpens my skills. I'm allowed to be here as much as you are. The internet is big enough for the both of us. If you don't want to hear me, then go away and make your own thread.

LePrezident:
Please there are ways to tell... even sometimes the attire can tell me. This is not foolproof though but it's has an accuracy of 80%

It's subjective, therefore not an adequate or reliable means of testing virginity.

#science.

bitchcrafts:
I am driving foolinlove to your haven straight on! Gotta be sure she's a virgin be4 I air my proposal. Just please be gentle wd her. Will ya?

How impolite. I'm not a spliff, to be passed around. I'm also not a virgin - you could have just asked.

ForeverYoung197:
Isn't these are the common lines of men? Some would say they been raped by their aunties while they we're child but they like it. Some would say they only slept with girls but no penetration because the girl is either on her period or she doesn't like sex...and Oh yes men loves to deny the girl on his DP.. He will say she's just his cousin and it's her bday so to honor her, she's his dp for a week.


All cold lies.

The most common lie from men: I love you.

How can you tell a man is lying? His mouth is open.

LePrezident:
During the act, you can tell a lady who is doing it for the first time. The mannerisms, he limited technique... Her curiosity, you can read body language. Even though this is not an absolute, the tightness of the vejayjay of a Virgin. Some vagina's are naturally tight but a Virginstow tightness can be distinguished. And yea, I have other pointers up my sleeve as well... can't spill all here.

Maybe they're just really cra.p in bed.

Maybe their vagay is naturally large/tight.

All your tests rely on subjectivity. Where's your failproof test?

I stand by my assertions : there is no way to tell if a woman is a virgin.

lodphil:
chill joor!
Don't tell me u lack a sense of humour,don't be so uptight.Not gud for ur health.

The cry of a man with no argument.

Have a happy Friday.

LePrezident:
We don't need only hymen to determine if a lady is a Virgin me lady. Only amateurs will depend on the 'hymen-validation-technique' as the only determinant factor.

What else have you got?

Ex,

The worst thing you can do to a person is know their bad relationship experiences and do exactly the same thing to them.

I have never been played as artfully as you played me.

You involved your family and my family. You made me and my family believe you loved me. You proposed to me. For what? Money.

When you got what you wanted, you just stopped talking. Then I find out you used the money I gave to marry someone else.

How can you be so heartless? You knew my age. You knew my deepest desire was to find the man God meant for me so I could have a family. But you wasted my time anyway.

I do not understand how your family will allow you to do this to an innocent person as well.

I am a kind person. There is a lot of good nature in my heart. I did nothing bad to you. But you still saw me as a person who deserved no respect. Even though I gave you literally everything I had, all you gave me were lies.

Why not prey on someone younger, who will have a chance to rebuild and find their true love? Why not just work for money, be true to God, instead of scamming me?

I know now you weren't always talking to and visiting your sister, your school friend, your cousin. You were shopping around for someone to fvck with, talking dirty, seeing other girls because I didn't mean a thing to you.

I worked hard to know you, to understand you and to be the woman who would stand with you through time. I was faithful to my word and my promises - I was faithful to YOU. You only worked to manipulate me, to get something from me and then leave.

You killed my soul. It is unforgiveable.

You always said you feared God. You had better fear Him, because He has seen what you've done to me. He has seen your sinful acts to my family.

I hope you are cast into the fiery pits of hell to burn for all eternity. I don't wish you well.

But I won't be thinking about you anymore. All I will remember is an animal of a man who ruined my hope and my faith in human goodness.

Goodbye.

lodphil:
hahahahaha,u never give up.
Pls why are so u obsessed wit my semen?,hope u r not planning to make me ur baby papa.

Is that all you've got?

I'm attempting to illustrate a point. It's obviously lost on you.

BiafraBushBoy:
Aiight.. Can you join my team please... Team Handsome

I don't participate in popularity contests.

Number one mistake:

Getting married.

lodphil:
It concerns me because the statement u made earlier can make a lot of gullible people think there's nothing wrong with abortion.And all ur logic can never make abortion morally right,unless one done as result of medical complication.

You can't even tell me when life starts,u dodged the question artfully.

I don't know when life starts. Science hasn't been able to determine that, because of the subjectivities involved. How do you define life?

I don't believe it starts at conception, because the foetus is merely a parasite until about 20 weeks when it can survive outside the womb (with a lot of medical assistance).

However, I dont think there's anything wrong with abortion. I wouldn't have one, but I'm not gping rp stop others. It's not my business what they do. Someone else having an abortion doesn't affect me. It doesn't affect you. It offends your morals, but that's about it.

I care about life. I care about the lives of the women who already exist and have been established. Rather than potential lives, whose fates we cannot possibly determine.

If you're concerned about potential lives then you have to stop spilling your semen unless you want to have a child - every sper.m is a potential child. And you're killing them by shooting them into thin air and not a vagina.

esosa993:
no mind am, let him go check likes of wizkid, davido, vector their instagram fans are mostly women, you hate Nigerian women yet you'll want them to support your career, I don't even know how some people think, I really don't know why I would hate a particular gender or a particular gender in a country based on what he feels is sis in law did.

Owned!

ebbybest:
nice write up Op

It's copied from a published paper:
https://www.naij.com/706002-oral-sex-causes-throat-neck-head-cancer-study.html

BiafraBushBoy:
Don't worry about what am talking about... I know your former moniker sha...

Can you join my campaign team?

I don't have a former monicker...

lodphil:
Although to me u r talking crap,since ur selfish nature doesn't allow u to give a baby the opportunity to enjoy life just lyk u do.

I still respect u for ur civil nature,u never resort to insult;though u rily know how to play the femal right bullshii and also dodge some important questions.

Selfish nature? Fighting for somebody to have choices in how they lead their life is selfish? Okay then.

I think it's selfish to force a person to have a baby if they dont want one. I think it's selfish to force children into the world if they are not wanted and if you have no means to support them adequately. I think it's selfish to force your ideals onto another person because it makes you more comfortable in your life.

Abortion doesn't affect you at all. It really has no impact on yout life.

As I said, if you don't like abortion, don't get one.

Please tell me which important questions I have dodged.

There is a reasonable solution to this: get vaccinated.

Also: HPV causes warts all over the body, not just genitals. Got a wart on your hand? On your foot? That's caused by HPV.

In addition, it's only typically transferred through sexual contact because trauma to a pappiloma through sexual frictio causes bleeding, and HPV is transmitted by blood. You can just as easily get HPV by touching a bleeding wart on someone's hand.

As gross as that is, it's true.

BiafraBushBoy:
You deactivated and came back with this moniker...

It's all good sha... Welcome back

What are you talking about?

schumastic:
i thought as much, so how did you get to know about the site n what makes you think he will know is you, when he is not ominiknowest

My ex is Yoruba, I did everything I could to know the culture and traditions. Cooking, langauge etc.

He will know if he comes across a post that refers to my country :/

shyling:
I really don't like feminists.

Can I invite you out for a lunch date...

You could but I don't live in Africa.

You should read anout feminism. It's good for both genders. It's about making people equal so they can have rights to do things like charge rapists regardless of their gender.

Is your elder brother my ex fiance?

Because this story sounds reaaaal familiar :/

shyling:
So many foolish theories about feminism I'll rather stick with gender studies ....men need awareness like the women had in the past.

You don't really know much about feminism do you?

Imma leave you to it. Doesn't seem like anything's going to change your illogical ranting.

lodphil:
I agree with the point u made partaining to the fact that abortion can be carried out due to some medical complications.But apart from that I think a baby should be giving the opportunity to experience life in its fullness.
And for ur information,I will continue to tell anyone that cares to listen that abortion is wrong.If u r not ready for a baby,then don't do things that might result to conceiving one.
And pls,when does life start?

So women aren't allowed to have sexual freedom? Women should be able to have sex when they want, and if their birth control fails, they have a right to abortion.

I see you would rather ruin two lives than allow a woman to remove a clump of cells (like a tumor), all in the name of what? Please think deeply.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE ABORTION, THEN DON'T HAVE ONE.

There are many schools of thought on when life begins. Your sperm are alive - maybe you should stop spilling them all over the place, killing all those poor little potential babies.