₦airaland Forum

truthsayer007:
Yea very true, But its very bad when you see a man helping you extra ordinarily and you never bothered to ask why. And he his even married for that matter.

If he was single, that is another story entirely.

Am sure she knew his intentions from onset, don't start what you can't finish.

1. He promotes you (Which means you don't deserve it)
2. I get whatever that is due to me (you can't even prove that it is due to you)
3. He encouraged me to enroll. He gave me 1month leave (meanwhile, am sure he declined leave for every other person in such a situation)

One month paid leave or Un-paid leave (Abeg lets be realistic here).

4. He helped to buy a land, invest my savings. (I'm sure he probably helped add extra money so you purchase the land and finish paying)

What pisses me off is Women start collecting all this things they know he his married, probably with Wife and Kids.

Stop collecting gifts or extra help from married men, so you will have a less dramatic life.

If he was single, its different..You can now make a choice of whether you like to go ahead in a Relationship or Backoff, But now you can't even make any choice. because you knew what was happening from On Set.

Lets not deceive ourselves here.

Ok so we are back to this.

Let's assume the only reason men do anything is to get sex. That they're not capable of thinking about anything else.

So every time I see a man talk to a child, I'll just assume he's a pedophile.

Smh.

kunlexze:
re-read my post on your latest thread page 1.

Oh. That girl.

Well, writing is good therapy. Nice poem.

Hope you're able to move on soon.

He tried to buy you. After he has paid for all this, he wants something in return.

He doesnt respect you and he thinks you can be bought like olosho.

Kindness is meant to be its own reward. Why do you have to pay for his kindness?

Say thanks, but you've lost all respect for him and his actions. That you're not a wh0re and you won't be treated like one. Say thanks, but no thanks.

Either that or lie... tell him you're a lesbian, you have HIV, you're pregnant, you're engaged, you're about to move to Bolivia, that you have a poo fetish, that you're haunted by juju... make it good. I don't think any man will jump into bed with any girl who says "oh wow, I love you too! Now we can poo on each other and have sex."

His kindness will stop as soon as you say no, so make sure you have enough to get by while you look for another job. And prepare for the possibility if rape, as well. Some guys, no matter how nice they seem, will just take what they think is owed to them.

It's up to your judgement on his character.

What did she do to you man?

senibo1:
is he your celebrity crush my dear, you like big things oh

No. Snoop isn't really on my radar. He's not a good man.

senibo1:
otherwise amphibious dream. where I came from alligator is evil next time see me


wanna drop you a digit private

I also had a dream abouy Snoop Dogg.

czarr:
You don't have to 'convince' her
Just ask her,if you have to convince someone to go on a date with you it means she isn't all that attracted to you.

Ask once then leave the poor woman alone.

If you respect her then you'll respect her feelings instead of thinking what you want is more important than what she wants.

senibo1:
top of the morn to you... how was your night?

I had a dream about an alligator.

Simple answer: yes.

When the cat is away, the mice will play. (He's the mouse).

infogenius:
Just be careful. Because if he catches you when you are alone in a corner, Hmmn
You will know exactly his intentions on that flat bum.

Interesting.

A person Op don't want to have sex with has shown an interest. Now Op is afraid it will happen against his will.

This is how women feel a lot of the time. About men.

I think this is the main reason straight men are afraid of gay men. Straight men don't want gay men to treat them in the same way straight men treat women. Like sex objects. Staring, making unwanted advances, calling at them, following them, threatening rape... think about it.

Owliver:
hmm I am happy you are coming to terms with me. and good thing you are a vegetarian.

but It will never be achieved. there will always be those to exploit others. and that's the duties if the government. and with the wide spread of Islamic ideology I fear for that Disney freedom world of yours.

but even if it's achievable, there would still be some who would act otherwise, not also minding the negative effect of such ideology.

I call it clash of knowledge. there must be fightings and conflicts any day, any time, any year, any century. forever and ever. just fall in love and try to stay safe.

It doesn't mean we shouldn't try.

Owliver:
and the food lions eat how did they get it? killing looooolz.

a hawk comes down steals a chicken. go feed her children which she dearly loves looooolz.

a lioness goes hunting kills a baby deer to feed her children she dearly loves looooolz.

we humans kill animals, slaughter them, you could even see the fighting, struggling. we put their flesh in pots and fry. feed on them. you think they got no feelings?

your point about society is because of where you come from. the ideology is different. have you ever imagined living under Sharia law? sorry that's the ideology that will spit on your rights without no remorse.

like I said, there is no justification for rape but knowing what I tell you will make you safer. we are all citizens of planet earth but hey take a trip to Saudi Arabia. you'd be forcefully wrapped in black.

and if I am right, the west don't allow polygamy. why?

hey is marijuana allowed in your place? why not. if it's harmful, it's me Dieing not my neighbour.


there is no freedom in "Society"

Ok well I'm vegetarian... so let's not discuss that.

I know society doesn't function optimally. But we have evolved to the point where people are trying. The more people that fight for human rights the further forward we move.

I don't approve of the "every person for themselves" attitude, but that's just me. Showing sympathy and empathy towards others is powerful and can change our society for the better. Or we can just go back to the dark ages, which wouldn't be that pleasant for anyone.

Owliver:
I understand you but you still didn't get me. all you are saying is right. from a social point of view. society through concept of morals have been able to subdue the true nature of man. good thing cos I'd probably have been eaten by mungo pack's grand daughter.

but that true nature never dies. it's hidden within. it pops once in a while, to others its their way if life. there are some tribes in igbo people who still eat humans till date(so I heard). what do you make if that? to you it's bad, oh damn those victims got rights Lolz well not to the tribes.

am not saying rape is good. no it's bad. but if you were to see the true nature Of man it's not bad. it's survival(Trade between pain and comfort). those days homosexuals were killed even by the whites. "witches" were burnt to death even by the whites. slavery was "good" and done even by the whites.

things change agreed. and people are subject to knowledge of their time. just like women of olden days accepted second and third wives and it was good then but today what do you have? women can't share d!cks anymore. it's now bad.

while the majority has accepted changes and reforms. the true nature lies in many. triggered by something or somebody. I repeat, for every reaction there's an action(you should be familiar with cause and effect theory)

I don't even know your name.

Ok but even in the animal kingdom - look at lions, gorillas etc. - there exist rules which determine behavior. A lioness will protect her children. Lions will fight over a mate and protect the mate thereafter. It is primitive but right and wrong still exist. Good and evil behaviour have reactions in these primitive situations.

Humans have (mostly) evolved beyond this primitive lifestyle. So society is a way to control behaviour and protect the vulnerable. An attempt to make things "fair". Even though it doesn't function *all* the time, at least we have evolved to the point where people are able to (somewhat) control their destinies.

I understand you, but I don't think it stands. It is all theoretical and pragmatically speaking, what a woman wears should be her own choice rather than the choice of others. And a woman's clothing should not be a justification to treat her badly.

Blackfire:
*immediately raise my head*

Lololol. Care to join the debate? Could be I fall in love with your brain too

They get fat as a result of growing a baby, ageing, hormones and genes.

And they probably don't mind because they're not married to someone as shallow as you lot.

Indecisiveness probably.

They keep a girl hanging on just in case they find nothing better. It's rude, cheap, selfish and insecure behaviour.

I have no idea what you're talking about bro.

She's not pregnant, so you'll celebrate?

Congrats. I can't come tho. I live away from Africa. But thank you

Certifiedbillio:
that means apologies accepted bah?

You didn't apologise.

Owliver:
you didn't understand my post. certainly. see there's nothing as good and evil. it is society that tells us what we should perceive as good and evil. but in reality there's no good and evil.

we humans became so intelligent we upgraded our jungle nature from pure jungle(actual jungle) to society(jungle of deception)

I once saw a friend of mine eating African cherry(Agbalumo) and I asked him to give me he said no. I should go buy my own. he says he won't give me his own.

your own? b!tch dude you came to this world with nothing. everything you possess is stolen by deception(knowledge). you cheated. you had an edge. there wasn't a fair play.

I need that cherry. you need it I need it too. then the society comes in. hey police pls someone tried to take my cherry. police comes and locks me in a cell. oooh I didn't get that sweet cherry I so crave. why me. so unfair. yh that's society.

bill gate son didn't choose to be Bill Gates son. a poor man's son didn't choose to be a poor man's son. so tell me why do you call one rich and one poor? where was the fair play?

no one does things by themselves. pain makes a man. knowledge makes a man.

Ok so you're getting existential. Good for you. But women aren't property.

Are you saying that women's bodies don't belong to themselves ie, there is no such thing as rape because property doesn't exist. That essentially society has determined that women should have autonomy over their bodies and that goes against "nature".

I disagree. Society developed for a reason... you may not agree with everything that goes on or think that its "fair"; but it serves various purposes, like protection of the vulnerable. And I do believe thay good and evil exist in their inherent forms.

I posit that violation of someone's autonomy is evil. Something which violates a person's ability to make choices about how their body is treated, like rape, torture, murder etc. are evil. I'm not having and argument about theft.

A woman's right to choose what happens to her body should be respected. She's not property. You can't just do what you want to her because "nature".

Certifiedbillio:
okay, you forgotten I guess

I remember your monicker but not the abuse you gave me.

Don't make me get sick into my own scorn.

Some women who do all these things still get cheated on.

It has nothing to do with womens actions and everything to do with how much a man respects himself and his partner.

If you respect yourself and your partner, you'll set your partner free before you jump into bed with someone else.

Certifiedbillio:
you still angry?

About what?

Breadmaker:
The lady you quoted and some people up there don't seem to know the difference between cause of a crime and justification of a crime.

Like I have stated before, any man or woman who doesn't care about how his or her actions and inactions affect the people around them need to have their sanity tested.

What exactly is your point? Yes, cause and justification are different - which is my point entirely. Crime is caused by criminals. Criminals attempt to justify their crimes with sometimes flimsy reasons. Some criminals justifications are perfectly cojent - ie, I stole bread to feed my family.

It doesn't mean everyone goes about not caring about how our actions affect others, but there has to be some reason injected. If everyone were to be so caught up in pleasing everyone all the time, we'd all be paralysed with inaction.

Your argument is circular. You have no way to justify telling people how to dress. It's like you feel a certain way about women, so everyone should agree with your emotions about "modest" clothing - whatever you happen to define that as.

Lots of tribes went around nude at the inception of humanity. Modesty was a fairly recent idea and the definition has changed through time and differs in different places.

Get a grip on yourself. You don't like what some women wear? You have to deal with it. I don't like eating artichokes, but I'm not about to try amd have artichokes outlawed, nor am I going to disrespect everyone who does eat it, or go ranting about how artichoke eating is bad.

Domislaz:
You are right my dear. I hope he gets your point. Women don’t cause rape by what they wear. Asking about correlation between clothing and rape is tricky, though. To make clear, sexual assault is never the victims fault. Someone has to act to commit rape. No one forces that choice. If seeing an enticing woman led men to conclude, “I’ve got to rape her,” all men would be rapists. Yet few are. And plenty of assaulted women are not dressed sexily, including women draped in head-to-toe burqas.

Interestingly, veiled women are blamed, too: “He must have seen a bit of her ankle, wrist, hair, neck… Who could resist!?”
Strippers are the most sexually “provocative” of all, yet patrons manage to contain themselves. Yes, bouncers provide security, but they aren’t stationed with blinders blocking their sight. And who’s watching them? Male customers aren’t physically restrained. The men are actually controlling themselves.

Sociologists who have interviewed rapists, read their accounts and looked at the circumstances of their crimes have learned that they have a variety of motives . Here are a few:
Some rape to feel powerful, others gang rape to demonstrate their “manhood” (defined as powerful, dominant, violent, virile, and not gay) to each otherhand fraternally bond, some become aroused by sadistically bringing sex and violence together, others seek to harm an entire race, community or nation by using sexual assault as a political weapon, still others seek revenge against someone other than the rape
victim. And some misread cues.

Rapists who misread cues believe the following: men are naturally assertive and women are naturally passive. There are “good girls” and “bad girls.” Bad girls secretly want sex but can’t admit it, so they trick men into forcing sex. In a nutshell, the number of assaults will not go down if women make sure to cover up. The cue-reading rapist has decided to attack someone, and is seeking justification. He will rape and he will find something to blame other than himself. By placing women in charge of his sexuality he abdicates responsibility (it’s her fault). How convenient for him!

And while different rapists have different ways of
thinking, they are all sexist. At the least, they believe
they have more right to a woman’s body than a
woman does, herself.

I think I just fell in love with your brain. The world needs more men like you.

Owliver:
rape is not cursed by the rapist. no one causes rape. environment makes a man. humans a beast in nature. "society" is what tramples on that right. people don't do what they do cause they want to but are forced to do it by one pain/knowledge or the other.

what if I tell I have every right to kill you? I love killing don't try to tell me what I want or need. only I understand my urge for blood. let me slit your throat out. but then I get arrested(here is society again cubbing my need for blood)

so you see the work of a society? and pls I don't justify rape just in case you thought about that.

A murder victim doesn't cause their own murder. The murderer causes the murder. Your logic is flawed.

Don't blame society for actions, blame the perpetrator. Good and evil do exist. There are grey areas for mental illness, duress etc.

But to excuse murder and rape because "society". That's weak.

Breadmaker:
Men must die regardless of how they protect themselves but holding two live wires or jumping out of a speeding vehicle makes it faster.

Indecent exposure isn't a justification for rape but it contributes to the cause.

Finally, saying that someone's line of thought is stupid because it doesn't tally with yours is very wrong so I am bowing out of this argument.

You win.

Rape is caused by rapists alone.

You can't continue your arguement because you have no logic to back it up.

Enjoy your judgemental life.

YabaLeftist:


Awww, sorry.

It's not your fault...

schumastic:
exactly my point...so if someone hurts u now after coming in the disguise of love, then it will only make you hate the word love..that's why you see people say they can't love again because that's what they were deceived with.if they understand better that okay o, no one can show the true meaning of love except God n Christ who did already..then we won't b having this much hate in us..

I think we understand each other then

Breadmaker:
I don't know how you people managed to squeeze rape into this. It is no part of the main post.

I agree with you that you're free to wear what you like but it is wrong to wear it to whereve you like.

But if you insist on wearing them to wrong places then you must accept the consequences.

You get my drift?

I can go shirtless all day and wear boxers alone but i cannot step out of my compound shirtless because is just does't seem right and it may cause a sister to habour immoral thoughts.

Our dressing can earn us respect and can downgrade us as well.

A south sudan minister was recently sent out of a meeting because of his awkward attire so it isn't just a female thing.

There is a way a guy will dress and i will never take him serious nor want to be seen in his company.

Men who rape minors cannot say it is because of their dressing so i don't want to talk about that.

It irritates me already.

So you think your actions can control other people's thoughts? Smh. That's impossible. And I'm not even going to try to do that, because you can't please all people all the time.

If you are simply highlighting that dress codes exist in certain places - congratulations. They do and they're signposted. Outside those areas, I'll wear what I like.

Also, saying that "you must accept the consequences of dressing this way" is really stupid. This is where rape entered the conversation (Breadmaker, you were absent when it went down this path).

Saying some women "invite rape" by what they wear is ridiculous. No one wants to be raped. And women will be raped REGARDLESS of WHAT they wear. Clothes are a flimsy excuse. Men can control themselves, and should. They're not wild animals.

Or if you say the consequences are someone not liking you or being your friend due to how you dres, FINE BY ME MR. I can't imagine I'd want to be friends with someone who'd judge my entire character based on my garments alone.

joey4sheva:
Of course it's not every relationship.. But it's common, especially in Naija

I'll take your word for it. Seems like over therr women take a lot of blame for relationship brwak ups...

lovat:
Gbam. But having that moniker makes you weaker. It reminds you of your past and the miserable past always hurt us

Well I can't change it now. And I am a bit of a fool when I am in love. I am trying to be wiser.

schumastic:
lol am glad you understood that explanation..yea that's the while idea but v u asked yourself this question..why was it written that man should love thy neighbor as he love himself?

is because he has seen the hate in man's heart n know that we human will find it hard to love others and that's why that scripture was written....mind u i believe there is a word called love, but what I don't believe is finding its true meaning in humans or practice by any of us including me...if we understand this, then it will make things easier for us, just like in your own case or mine..

Love is hard to action. But it doesn't take away the feeling in your heart.

All we can do is try harder to do loving actions every day. We're not God, and only God can love so perfectly. But we can aspire to that, I think.