₦airaland Forum

ednut1:
This one is doing PR for Nigeria women in the Uk. If they have all those qualities listed up there men will be rushing them. They are mostly being avoided for obvious reasons 😆. The average Nigerian woman abroad has this over inflated ego just because she don japa. Tufiakwa

hazinibones:
Hello Nairalanders,

I have this decision bothering me. I know it is a personal problem, but I believe everyone need some guidance at every point in life.

Straight to it, I have been considering Japa for over two years now and I think the opportunity might be here but I am having a cold feet.

I recently started working for a foreign company as a software engineer and the pay is decent when converted to Naira. Enough to live an averagely comfortable life. But my challenge now is that, I have been talking to some friends that are outside the country and they keep telling me how life is not easy there and cost of living is super expensive out there.

I currently earn $3000, which I plan to either save and travel or startup a business here in Nigeria. Please, Nairalanders with experience, is it worth japa to live an almost average life for almost the rest of your life or investing here in Nigeria and growing wealth?

The healthcare and quality education benefit is there as an advantage for japa though.

Thanks in advance for your responses!

ednut1:
people without resources should be sterilized after two kids. Bunch of irresponsible people .
See below from a Facebook group . A useless woman with 5 children already and struggling is looking for how to give birth to a son 🤣

chineji:
Liberia

Liberia Is one hell of an expensive country. A plate of jollof rice at a nice restaurant goes for at least 10 to 15 us dollars. The currency used here is either the liberian dollars or the us dollars. The infrastructure in Liberia is really shit (they just finished a civil war anyway). Monrovia is a real shithole by even shithole standards. We didn't do much in Liberia except patrol around. After our patrol we set sail for the canary Islands.

Kelechi009:
Are you trying to be deliberately obtuse with this very senseless question you just asked me.

Do you even know what the word average means? "a number expressing the central or typical value in a set of data"

Are you not part of an average Nigerian? I have told you that your mentality is exactly that of a slave master, you see yourself higher than an average Nigerian. This is exactly your problem.

Average Nigerians have done many great things in Africa & beyond in Tech, Medicine + Nursing, Finance etc.

If you have a problem using Google, that's not my problem!

AreaFada2:
Really? He allowed a free and fair election and he lost. He went quietly. Statesman.

Why should he be speaker for those who brought calamity for themselves in 2015?

Why should he worry about people that have signed a covenant with oppression, poverty and suffer head?

If I be Jonathan, I won't say "pim" about Nigeria again. The man is way too good, 9ja want to be treated like animals.

tensazangetsu20:
Netherlands

ednut1:
this car is about 1.5m naira in Canada and a cleaner can buy it here with a month salary. But in Nigeria it’s about 4m now. Is that not rip off . The person wey export the yam no go incur shipping, logistics , clearing and taxes

Kelechi009:
@Gerr.ard59 Arguing with you is like arguing with someone who is defeated. You have a self hate problem. You hate that you came from Nigeria, you hate that you're African. I have told you everything about you reeks of slave master mentality. You hate yourself so therefore don't see anything positive coming out of Nigerian man. If you had the means you would have changed your skin color. Your issue is internal & you need to deal with it first.

America has a functioning society & a very large prostitution base by Facts, it is not by having functioning society. They still complain about the hookup culture there all the time, so if people are complaining, allow them to do so. Prostitution statistics by country by doing a 5 minutes Google Search will show you en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_statistics_by_country China, India, and the United States are the countries with the most prostitutes.

According to this data, It was done by interviewing those engaged in street prostitution. The greater visibility of some forms of prostitution, such as street prostitution, makes statistics on these forms easier to collect. Thus it means hookup culture is even more prevalent if street prostitution can gather so much data

If people are complaining in Nigeria, allow them to do so.

Please deal with skin color insecurities first. Then we can talk!

Dimaya:
so you support the north in pushing child marriages or in suspending civil liberties for women.

Please tell us kind sir, how you can implement the ideas you suggested? How? Give us a pathway. There are young men who want decent women. How do they make their society rich? How can I eliminate poverty in Nigeria? How?

You have no solutions, None. Check the post title again and return when you can offer a pathway to starting and supporting a family that doesn't include hookers and baby mamas.

Cheers

Gerrard59:
There is this thing I really hate about Nigerian men.

They are so poor, unintelligent, stoopid, foolish, unexposed, bloody riff-riffas, modafvckers, wretched, half-baked educated morons whose greatest achievement is dangling their smelly, flaccid and stench-filled preek along the road shouting alfa meil, alfa meil, alfa meil WITHOUT DEVELOPING THEIR SOCIETY! These cretins will, and have, never lampooned the men who patronise these girls. Never have they done so!

Your men, rich men, fly these girls abroad just to fvck just like almost every man in other places across the world. The difference is that those men have built functioning societies that if the matter gets out of hand, they have the moral right to lampoon their women for being too sexually free. The women, in turn, will either change for the better or keep being sexually free according to the standards of their men. But the monkeys in West Africa who have never experienced constant electricity since they came into this world believe that the best thing they can do is to police the vagina of women. The same vaginas rich men in the same society pay thousands, if not millions to access. These modafvckers and donkeys will never call out their men for not ensuring Nigeria gets prosperous. These baboons will suck a politician's preek who rather spend money to ensure his healthcare system is OK, run to the UK to do a kidney transplant. These idiots, rather than thinking of how to solve the perennial traffic problems or high mortality rates or pervasive insecurity, are more interested in the dating market.

Due to how stoopid these animals are, they don't know that when a society is very poor, the women resort to selling their bodies TO RICH MEN for money. The solution is to ensure that society gets prosperous. And even at that, there will still be women who will do hook-up because there is constant and increasing demand for sex by men due to the hormone- testosterone. The average man globally likes to fvck because of that hormone. But these bastards whose greatest achievement is doing CCTV for woman's vagina stood by the window during their economics and biology classes in secondary school. Assuming they even had classes and the money was not used to ensure the likes of Sonia and Seyi enjoy their lives in London.

Foolish men! I spit on your faces! Frustrated idiots!

Kelechi009:
The dude already has his mind made up, you can draw up a thousand facts to show him with reference points & he will still not budge.

Dimaya:
That's why I left him alone yesterday. I even quoted your writeup on his thread, the dude no budge. Guess he's one of those old-timers in their sixties who thinks the world of his daughters, oblivious to the harm sex for money is causing to Nigerian relationships

qtguru:
Old about to marry

Zigzagman:
If a Nigerian living in the Bronx tells the police that 80% of his neighbours (fellow Nigerians) are drug dealers, do you advise the police to discount it?

what kind of logic be dis? you're comparing apples and pineapples. if you watch the video till the end she gives specifics. citing that in her engineering class of men filled with 14 girls, only two girls aren't selling sex for money.

old man, the present generation of girls no be like your own o

tensazangetsu20:
Lol go there and find out . If you are going to south america, I can only recommend Brazil, Chile, Uruguay and argentina. Guyana is a shithole. Guyanese people are struggling to leave their country. Na them full Darien gap trying to enter panama so they can get to the US. Georgetown is also one of the most dangerous cities in the world. That's their capital. To be murdered is nothing

Dimaya:
There are prostitutes in every economy. Same way there's crime in developed countries. The conversation is the selection pool of wives. A colleague had a survey done of sexual activity in Nigerian universities. In the double blind study done, only one out of a thousand female respondents was not sexually active compared to almost 500 males not being.

Sex is easier for women to get. And it's not all men who are having the most sex, it's just the top 5% of men.

You can get angry, throw out insults, but this is the selection pool available. I'm not the originator of these ideas, I'm just passing the information along. Do with it what you must.

But really, I think you need to get your anger issues checked out. Don't worry things will turn out well for you. You'll end well. Your life matters. It matters so much, I had to take time out of my schedule to type a response to you.

Have a great afternoon

Gerrard59:
In Nigeria, the argument is that prostitution is illegal. But that applies only to Northern Nigeria, where Sharia is practiced (https://sabilaw.org/the-legality-of-prostitution-in-nigeria/). However, the same people who castigate hookups will never relocate to the North to live.

This brings me to the next solution: social engineering. If you want the women in your society to be chaste, it is your responsibility as the men in that society to insist on certain moral standards. It is why young ladies in the North do not openly practise hookup compared to the South. Even in the south, some regions are "morally" stricter than others. It is the men who set the standards. Recently on Facebook, in one of the states in the south, I read that husbands or older men sleep with secondary school girls who just finished WASSCE/SSCE. When you do so while your northern counterpart marries the same girl, you tell that girl in your society that she can charge for sex. Meanwhile, her contemporary in the north knows that for sex to happen, there has to be commitment aka marriage.

P.S. Sex is not free. You pay at a point.

Another is poverty. The poorer a society is, the greater the number of women engaging in hook-ups. Women are demisexual, but when push comes to shove, they resort to sex work. Because there is a demand. Patronising sex workers is cheaper in poor countries compared to rich nations. The common theme here (https://www.nairaland.com/7496716/what-exactly-does-one-enjoy) was that sex is cheap in Nigeria. But ask your paddies whether patronising sex workers in Canada is cheap, and hear/read their responses. The solution is to ensure your society becomes very prosperous. In return, your women will have fewer reasons to engage in hook-ups. Fewer reasons because even in prosperous societies, hook-ups still exists. Because, remember, sex is natural. There is a demand, and demand doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Unfortunately, Nigerian men have not been able to create a prosperous society (https://www.nairaland.com/6643241/nigerian-men-failed-women).

P.S. No prosperous country had women at the forefront of development.

Zigzagman:
na u dey foolish. foolish woman wrappa. how man go dey dere make pant dey wear am.
woman dey tell una say all poly girl dey sell toto, u dey here dey Yan okpata.

Chineke na kpo gi!

Dimaya:
This is one very confusing post. Did you watch the video in which the girl in red said 80% of the female students in her school were into hookups.


The video isn't castigating women, but providing practical counsel on appropriate mate selection strategies.

Cheers

Gerrard59:
Sequel to these threads (https://www.nairaland.com/7678352/hookup-culture-nigeria-bad-even/1#122971617; https://www.nairaland.com/7680544/what-caused-hookup-culture/5#123045490) where Nairalanders, mostly males, keep complaining about the rise of hookup in Nigeria. I thought it pertinent to outline solutions that will REDUCE, not stop the trend.

The demand for sex by men is rising and consistent. As long as men crave sex and women are the only suppliers, nothing can be done. For hookups to reduce, Nigerian men should reduce their insatiable quest to have sex with random women. It is like having a department where male lecturers don’t do engage in sex for grades, ladies who are open to such will be forced to read their books whether they like it or not. Men create the system and women integrate into it. To buttress this, when women who have been doing hook-up attain 30+ years, there is a declining demand for their services because sexual service is tied to age and how young a woman is. As a result, she is either forced to retire or accept lower fees. This is because her customers – all men – have either stopped patronising her or are offering less cash. The men control the system.

It is a biological fact (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22552705/#:~:text=Sexual) for men to yearn for sex more than women. Women are literally the only people who can quench this thirst. Some will say it is because of greed, but c’mon! If you own something which is in high demand that is not regulated nor banned by the government, are you saying you won’t charge prices for it? Remember, this demand is consistent and persistent.

But errm, hook-up is the same with yahoo yahoo or drugs trading.

That is not true. Cybercrime, like the name implies, is a crime in almost every part of the world. Some governments legalise sex work and even offer health care services and tax them. But no government has legalised defrauding people online. This is because policymakers realise that sex is a natural phenomenon in which humans and animals indulge. You cannot outlaw people having sex. It is not possible. Even in conservative Dubai (https://www.economist.com/middle-east-and-africa/2023/01/05/women-in-the-middle-east-are-leading-a-revolt-against-prudish-men), women are going behind the corners to import intimacy gadgets. The government by law bans it, but does not arrest those who import it. But try importing guns into the country and see the government’s reaction. Dealing with hard drugs is not a natural concept for humans. It is acquired, so governments ban it or regulate it tightly compared to sex work.

For instance, in Geylang, Singapore, young women mostly from China engage in hookups under regulation from the Singaporean government. But if you transport drugs to Singapore, you get the death penalty, no ifs or buts. Japan has the second biggest porn industry globally, but you will be arrested, denied a lawyer for 21 days and detained or deported if you transport drugs into the country. The UAE restricted Nigerians’ entry, mostly men. The UAE would rather have Nigerian girls doing hookups in Dubai than her men committing cybercrime. There has not been a break-in by the Emirati police to arrest hookers compared to bursting cyber criminals.

Dimaya:
The problem with this your assessment is that there have always been prostitutes since the beginning of Nigeria. So you can't say it is because of hardship that girls are into hookups.

Simply put, the barriers to sex work have been removed. There's mobile dating/hookup apps, mobile transport apps, Airbnb and mobile money. These have all eliminated the friction in booking sexual experiences- it is easier for a female student today to meet clients who want hookups than in the past.

That's what's driving the rise.

Gerrard59:
https://www.nairaland.com/6640379/enugu-young-girls-offer-bodies

Sequel to the above thread, it shows the severity of poverty in Nigeria which cuts across all geopolitical zones (Nigeria is not the world’s poverty capital for nothing). However, for Nigerian women to indulge in prostitution as a means to eat/survive, it tells us one thing – Nigerian men have failed their women.


All over the developed world, it is the men not women who made those societies what they are. Whether South Korea, Malaysia, Uruguay, Singapore, Canada etc., the men made them work. Meanwhile, Nigeria – most populous Black Country globally – has her women selling their bodies for basic items such as what to eat and where to sleep. I would not delve into this malaise as a racial one as I do not know how it is for black women in Kenya, Angola, Brazil or the US but the quality of life women enjoy depend on the level of sophistication their men have built their societies into. This is something Nigerian men have failed at and specifically, those above 40 years. These men failed, woefully, to create a society that is functioning, orderly, prosperous, safe and enjoyable for their women. Even for societies that are adjudged as not gender friendly for women (South Korea, UAE and Japan), their women live way more prosperous lives than their Nigerian counterparts.


We have many Nigerian women trading their bodies in Italy, the UAE and parts of Europe but we don’t have similar or even half the proportion of European ladies doing same in Nigeria. How many Italian women have you seen in Allen Avenue or any red-light district in Nigeria? How many South Korean women have you seen selling their bodies in Nigeria? How many Singaporean ladies have you seen/read travel to Nigeria to “hustle”? I am an ardent reader of Singaporean news and not once have I read that Singaporean ladies sell their bodies to pay school fees, to eat or get a job but these things are rampant in Nigeria because unlike Singapore where the likes of Lee Kuan Yew and Co built a prosperous society for them to thrive, Nigerian men of same generation ruined the country. Worse still, their successors exacerbated these issues through wanton corruption and rife ethnic bigotry compared to Lee’s successors who doubled down on his achievements by diversifying Singapore’s economy thereby generating more jobs for their citizens. Same in Japan where women constitute a larger proportion of luxury goods’ consumers because their men have created a prosperous place for them to be able to afford those products. Women of the world's poverty capital can only dream of being major consumers of luxury goods.

hdrifter11:
Ask urself oga how much for this

FAMILY PLANNING;
Condom, postinor, abortion, vasectomy, IUD etc. No excuse whatsoever

nedekid:
Oga. Truth other the matter, is that more kids will be given birth to because of the tough times.
See, the only consolation struggling people have now is to go home and nack. They cannot go chill in joints, drink beer and wack point and kill, they cannot carry olosho or have side chicks. The only enjoyment is to go home and pour the frustration out by nacking madam.
Abeg, give the guy a break. E don happen e don happen, na solution him need.

Walz001:
Hmmmm
I dont have much to say ...But youngsters coming behind us should learn from this man here ... don't give birth to kids you can't take care of .....

And for you Oga "dasibeee" like they do call me then .you have to hustle change your tactics and tho k more about business that can support you when you are out of work.. don't have it in mind to run away its gonna bounce back and don't let anyone family relatives add to your problem ... do you have a hand work if yes you can do that after work...... I think most of you need to see how guys work outside the country to make a living

Some of the points have been said al ready pick the positive ones and please and please do family planning win your wife for almoat 10 years

Ezekiel2122:
God bless you. Positive comment so far.
I don't think blaming this man is necessary again. It's a mistake, we all made one or the other. He realized, he's in pain already... Let lesrn to be brothers

Kobojunkie:
As we speak, child number 6 may already be cooking in the oven sef.

Kobojunkie:
Notice how none of those giving him suggestions so far has suggested he get a vasectomy or comparative? Somehow they all know this kind rarely change or learn.

We4all:
I have zero pity for the likes of you. In fact, even if I had the means to assist, I will NEVER help people like you.

Do u know why? I will tell you. It's because some of you have decided not to have sense. Do you think those that gave birth to a child because that's the number they can afford to cater for are fools?

I don't know how some of you reason. The hardship you were facing wasn't enough, you choose to drag innocent kids into it. Now, you're running away from your responsibilities.

I will tell you the same thing that I always say to 'irresponsible parents'. If you can't train your kids, go and sell them. There will be willing buyers who will help you lessen the burden.