₦airaland Forum

I'll take this as a trick question.

Oga you know the answer to your question and you know what to do.
Leave now before you're it's too late.

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious?

I doubt his support and attendant tantrums when they lose is ordinary. Have you checked to know if he's betting as well?

Either way, since you can't cope now, run o!

FeliciaOja:
I meet him July this year, everything about him is cool. My only worry is his fanatical support for arsenal which I consider the worst club on earth.

He keeps disturbing me of how his club will win the league, but whenever they lose he becomes super depressed and aggressive.

We have talked about this many times and he has sworn to change.
But this night he came back very late and was making so much noise, shouting and yelling
Then I googled scores and saw that his club lost today

I can't take it anymore
He is not the first guy I have dated that loved football. His own is that when his club loss it affects him very bad.

I have even suggested he should stop supporting arsenal but he won't listen.
After this night rubbish he just displayed I'm thinking of calling it quits.

Am I overreacting??

Gbam!!!

Jayboi:
If the guy comes out to apologise, I think it should calm all worries. But he needed to do that because of the nature of things in this country. The man no wan dull himself o. Dem fit go bring speaker and swear him in. Heaven will not fall so he had to act fast. Tho highly unethical but necessary.
He will still win their primaries no matter what. Those saying APC won't field him are just fooling themselves. All needed is for him to cut a deal with PBAT and that all. APC no dey take power de joke.

That'll be the miracle of the century.
Can he probe is benefactor?

I've seen this play out over and again.

OP won't understand the impact of her disloyalty now.

The mere fact that he's here asking for advise says it all....he's pained and knows what to do but he needs someone else to validate his potential wrong decision...

This wrong decision is usually for some of the following reasons:

1. Where will I start from?
2. After all I've invested, time and money
3. At my age
4. It was my fault.
5. It was a one time mistake, it won't happen again.
6. My ability to forgive her means I'm ready for marriage.

ALL LIES YOU TELL YOURSELF to help you sleep at night till it doesn't work anymore.

I hope OP does the right thing for the sake of his own sanity.

NB: this will be my advice if the tables were turned.

Gandrova:
most of them think marriage is just mere dating.
Each time he thinks about what she did, he will never be happy.
She is a slut

2 things.

OP, you would always remember this event. Some years down the line, when the realities of marriage hit, she may irritate you so much you would do something stupid...

2. Be prepared to continue this cat and mouse game after marriage....you have a slight argument and she slips and falls onto another man's D because she thinks you no longer love her.

IMO, I don't think she ever valued you at all.

It's better you take the tough decision now than later.
You know what to do.

letstalksense:
There is this lady I plan to marry, which I have made known to her already even before she travelled for her NYSC. Although she just came back from NYSC service recently. We are just discussing the way forward and on the process I was asking her about her sexual life and how recently she had sex. After insisting for her to answer. She opened up and told me she had a sexual relationship during her NYSC service. And the reason was because I didn't call her at a particular time so she thought I have find anther woman. And that was when I was having some personal challenges. According to her, they ended the sexual relationship in the camp. That she is sorry and all that. I didn't really expect that attitude from her as she seem to look responsible and Godlily. I was just disappointed even though I pretended like everything is well. And I was also thinking she had the courage to tell me the true.

Now I have to make my decision, but needs a matured advise and guidance from a mature mind please.

Do think I should continue my marriage plan with her?

Pease what do you advise I do?

Thanks in advance.

RIP Aketi.

You obviously haven't learnt anything.

Its not about sharing or not sharing your wins

You've missed the point.

You don't seem to understand confidentiality.

The elite love their privacy.

The question is: are you the first person to get a job at Harrods that you went online to brag?

Here you are again online still doing more damage to yourself.

koboko69:
Woman Who Bragged On Social Media About Her New Job At A Luxury Store Sacked Before First Shift

An online video of how a young woman was sacked by a renowned company in the UK company even before she began her first shift has got many people talking.

Recently employed by Harrods, the lady identified as Akorede but known on TikTok as @korrxss, disclosed that she had not yet started her first shift when she received the notice of termination from the company.

Before the viral video of her dismissal, she had gone viral with a previous video in which she talked enthusiastically about her job at the UK-based luxury department store.

In that first video, she suggested that her social class has shot up because of her new employment, stating at one point:

“I’m dealing with the richest of the rich, who are you dealing with [giggles]?”

@korrxss

Lmk if u want tips on how to get innnn 🥰🥰🤗

But in the second video, her story changes. Sounding disappointed, she told her followers on TikTok that she didn’t even do her first shift at Harrods before she got fired for going on social media.

Akorede wondered who may have sent the footage to the employer after she was fired. She gave the situation further thought and concluded that it taught her an important lesson to avoid posting pleasant news on the internet.

“I got fired! Before I even did my first shift, I got fired. Someone must have sent the video ‘cos I don’t know how they must have found it. I took that video after I attended my induction; I’ve not even attended my first shift.

“That was really sad. I learnt a really valuable lesson; don’t ever tell good news to people or the internet, keep it to yourself. Upon reflection, that was kind of a shitty video; I was just joking and was just excited,” she said in part.

@theshadeborough

Sis really got sacked by luxury store #Harrods before even starting the job, due to a bragging video posted about her new role 🫣👀

Her story has drawn varied reactions online.


https://www.tiktok.com/video/7315561186412612896?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=7226116796024784426

Hmmm...
Alcohol poisoning.

Sotay dey even doused his grave with alcohol.

May his soul RIP.

Who art thou to judge?

Vinnie2000:
What's your Opinion?
Will God answer her Prayer? 🤔🤔


Mine: He will Likely NOT.😌
Couldn't she have gone home to Change her outfit?😒

See kettle calling pot black.

If you all were in China, your entire lineages would've been wiped out already. It's not only emefiele.

You all rape and pillage Nigeria collectively. We all hear the billions that have been looted under apc too.

Yall ain't better...na who no dey cabal wey dem catch be tiff.

Ofunaofu:
https://dailypost.ng/2023/12/22/if-he-were-in-china-emefiele-would-face-firing-squad-bayo-onanuga/

WORD!!!

Hypocrisy runs deep in the blood.

Imagine he said.."she's not wearing bra"
I was expecting to see a half naked woman or something.

That lecturer and the school would be sued if it were another country

Botragelad:
Have you lost your mind?
Is there a law against wearing a brassiere or whatever you call it. Not like it's a religious outfit or anything.

It's like saying a bloke can't come in because he's not wearing a singlet. How does that make any sense? You're the same one who moans about government injustice but you back injustice against others or things you don't like. Isn't that hypocritical!

By your logic, you don't challenge your tutor and expect him to cave in but you want your president to cave in to your demand on how to make the country better. You are saying she has no right to speak and stand up for herself yet you moan the judiciary is rubbish, you want everyone to shut up and let their right get stomped on, yet you lot whinge about abuse from the police.

The audacity of that bloody wimp. I can't picture this happening in the US or any civilised country. You are bound to get your arse sued for harassment!

Why not just state your predictions and assertions based on deductions from ongoing trends and happenings without involving the Spirit of God?

God is truly merciful.

Violence against women is a no no.

You must control yourself.
Now, because of the man's foolish response, no one will hear his own side of the story.

Being a lawyer or being learned has nothing to do with self control.

I know of a so-called Prof who brutalised his wife till she ran for dear life and he's still pursuing her till today.

Exactly!!!

It's unbelievable to see them wailing. Tinubu ride on jare.

When buhari did it for 8 years, he was tagged a visionary, the best thing since fura de nunu.

Now they can't swallow what they served others.

Sickos.

Gten:
Buhari's policies unsettled and destroyed Nigeria.
Tinubu is just continuing from where bubu stopped.

Kai...this is terrible!!!

People are wicked sha.

Double agent.

Looks like smoke grenades though.

Hope no serious injuries.

WriterNig:
@Mario Nafwal posted;



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeUEuiXRxnc?feature=shared

Excellent Question.

Even to get SCUML at EFCC office, you must drop your phones at the gate.

Antoeni:
Let's ask him why they use to submit phones before going inside police station?

Yh right...just as Police officers don't have a right to search your phone but the still do and brutalise those who refuse

Alakoba PPRO.

You better be discrete when doing this....else you chop multiple slaps.

To whom a brain is given, sense is expected.

PPRO won't be on the streets or deserted roads with you o.

Lawmen can only start respecting Nigerians and the law when Nigerians stand up for each other.

Antoeni:
https://saharareporters.com/2023/12/14/nigerians-are-free-video-take-photos-police-officers-duty-says-force-pro-0?fbclid=IwAR0xPwKhqCsifYiWLP_GlfygFZBzFFugKsMrp6OGLzLm0jZ6V2J_Stoju-Q

Epiphany!!!

It may just take some time but it always comes😁


We are not designed to be alone...the more you age, the quicker you realise this truth.

However, it's on you to pick your poison.

Fira09:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ASWXA-datA?si=zZ06olVVAISaToQz



LIB

Whaaat?.

You mean - once de be, always de be 😁?

JK.

It's mostly true, especially if you had the upper hand and did the dumping.

woginid967:
Once you enter a female.... The door to enter again will never ever be totally closed for you. Married or not. You have spare key

DeathToRiggers:
Seunmsg
FreeStuffsNG
Abdul05
drlatee
AntiChristia
duro4chang
lhordspy
Moh247
Ayamed
[b]Animals. [/b]

Animals.😁..nice tho you left out a few of them.

Wails by moonlight
They'll avoid this like covid and even tag it fake news

They'll find a way to tribalise it

Some will boldly still come and comment rubbish cos you can't shame a shameless person.

Injustice.
Really sad.
I doubt most people heard of this arrest.
Unfortunately for her 9ja yoots that heard didn't care or have moved on as usual.

Why would they do that when their economy runs on the expenses and tax generated from these medical tourists and other immigrants?

Do you know that their universities have targets and quotas they must fill else they won't get funding from government and other stiff penalties?

They'll only try to stiffle the access process.

They'll review it soon once income generated reduces because Africans and other immigrants decide to boycot them and go to friendlier nations.

Judolisco:
D best way to stop dis migration madness is for Europe to ban African lawmakers and their families from accessing healthcare, education and other good essentials abroad... So dat we will develop our country and continent, if not they've not seen anything yet oh

All dis bans won't work, Nigerians will always find a way

Scale of preference and Priorities!

treesun:
https://punchng.com/fg-seeks-n35bn-to-revive-ajaokuta-steel-company/

There they go as usual, blaming someone else...

It was Jonathan that initiated it.

Why not leave it?

Did the buhari administration not allocate funds ro it as well?
Abi did Osinbajo live in the nush during his tenure as VP?

N15B for renovation. Is it diamond, titanium and precious stones that are being used to finish the building?

Is this the right time for such frivolous expenses?

Justify rubbish because you just must talk...Notice how apc'll always ensure to push the clueless southern spokespersons/clowns amongst them to always defend rubbish like these.

It's pathetic

nlfpmod:
https://www.thecable.ng/shettimas-aide-n15bn-for-vps-residence-not-wasteful-obi-trying-to-score-cheap-points/amp

See gbege.

He doesn't look like he can care for himself, let alone that poor pooch😎

saintbillion:
https://www.facebook.com/100002433336360/posts/pfbid0gp5JtYFn5texG9KPuPqmeJzKzZGAU7geWXtEQMJBiXwttGPq6VUqu84Jn2t8kUmGl/?mibextid=2JQ9oc

Don't mean to rain on your parade.

I remember a lady who married as a virgin but had to go for counselling after 1st week of marriage...As d tin no gree enta...according to Beyoncé, his "ego" was 🎶 too big, too strong, too wide, it won’t fit 🎶...😊. Though I don't think she was singing about pr**k🙄

I mean, it can't get more "tear rubber" than that😁

They later worked it out but today, she out of his house cos he doesn't want her anymore for reasons best known to him/them.

Morale, you found a wife and found a good thing but you only just began. It's a long journey ahead that'll test this love you're professing here today.

As our elders say:

To be a man is not a day's job

To be a married man no be moimoi...

Don't get me wrong, chastity is sexy and I'm 100% in support of it.

realmindz:
This time last year, I didn’t know I’d be married this year. A lot has happened in one year, met my wife in a strange manner, loved her and finally got married to her.

https://www.nairaland.com/7847420/how-met-fiancee


I will like to keep my anonymity so unfortunately no pictures here. But I can give you a good description, she’s the last child and only daughter, so you know how she must have been pampered. Her mum was so emotional and she had tears roll down her cheek on the D-day, it was lovely though to see such wonderful connection.

My wife is tall, ebony and in her early twenties. White sparkling teeth, bright eyes, always smiling. She’s the perfect gift to me. The wedding was simple yet beautiful. I am so fortunate to have her in my life.

And the best gift came after. Let me whisper it (I met her at home, tear rubber)

Tor.

See as congratulations are pouring in.

Larrycool1234:
DONT COME BACK AND START SHOUTING " MY WIFE DOESN'T LIKE SEX, SHE IS ALWAYS TIRED, SHE FEELS PAIN DURING SEX, ......"""

True.

Especially with the current economic situation.

I heard a med that used to cost 180 per sachet of 10 tablets now costs N3,200 for same dose.

Makes you wonder how peeps are coping.

Terrible.

If you have good health, thank your God everyday.

Kobojunkie:
How many can afford the meds?

Precisely.

Though I didn't say it reduces frequency, that was the person I quoted.

Remember its used to treat cancer as well?

I remember going through the side effects and was like WTF....pardon my french😊

Heck you dare not have babies while taking it unless you stop the medication for about 1 year and run tests to ensure it's been cleared from your system else you stand the hugh chance of having a deformed baby

My question then was, so how would the patients handle the pain for that period?

Chee59:
I think it varies from person to person, benefits and side effects.
But saying it reduces frequency of crises to zero, false.

Hydroxyurea is a medication that was used for tests and trials in UCH at a time but I think it's been abandoned

I'd advice against it cos it's side effects are too numerous and imo, the benefits ain't worth it.

Again, my opinion pls.

Toktee:
Avoid mosques at all costs, always take becomplex and folic acid tabs, avoid cold water and always wear sucks.
Finally and importantly, buy a drug called HYDROXYUREA it reduce the frequency of pain crisis almost to zero.

First thing is to register them with a hospital with Haematology Department or access to a Haematology Consultant.

Now, there aren't many of these around. Infact one of the best places for this is UCH Ibadan.

Secondly, avoid Stress and Mosquitoes

Thirdly, have a balanced diet and regular water intake. Water is life...it won't be palatable but they must carry water around and drink regularly.

You'll also need funds for meds like folic acid, b complex etc

For the pain, there's a potent combo of pain meds that I can suggest but you'd have to run it by your Haematology Consultant first for approval to determine if its safe for your siblings.
. It works...knocks off pain in 1-2 hours
Chat me privately if interested as I can't post it here

Yemike:
I need people with experience on how to manage SS Crisis.
Both my parent are AS and we the kids are 5. I'm the first child and I'm lucky to be AA, the 2nd born AS, 3rd, 4th, 5th - SS.
I have 3 SS siblings and right now most of their responsibility and wellbeing is on me as the first born cuz my P-man is old already.
Just last week I have to rush down to my brother's school to bring him home cuz he called me in the middle of the night weeping cuz the pain is just too much and his roommate isn't around.
My question now is how can it be managed? cuz it's really affecting everybody cuz It's affecting their studies, I'm exhausted right now cuz anytime it happens it's ends with me borrowing funds to send to them and lastly it's sucks happiness out of the atmosphere as hearing a teenager weeping and knowing you can't do anything about it is saddening.

I've seen some people asking if they as AS can also marry AS please and please don't try it as you'll just be bringing innocent kids here just to suffer. The trauma of you seeing your kids in pain sef no be here.

How can SS Crisis be avoided/managed?

I'd have loved my write up to be well detailed but the little I wrote up there took up to an hour cuz my phone is bad.

You experience and advice will be well appreciated. Thanks.