₦airaland Forum

Mindlog:
You are right, rather than focusing on the "don't" redirect it to "do" because that is positive reinforcement, a poweeful behaviour modification technique.

Klass99:
You have a valid point about the cake baking business, as for Trump my favourite career blogger says - pay attention to the people you respect and the ones you do not respect, and try to figure out why.

In figuring out my why, I have learnt to avoid doing the things people I don't respect do (like Trump) While doing things people I respect do.

Liposure:
Lord! You are a pain in the ass. Funny enough, it's ladies like you i fancy in my research.

Klass99:
You can learn from people who don't get it right as well.

For example I learnt how to NOT be a real jerk or jackass like Donald Trump and some extended family members

Klass99:
I don't see it that way, I see it as an avenue for learning something new.

Olayetan:
You made a very sensible point,

I don’t know why OP is just jumping into conclusion, OP is already getting turned off even before the main relationship kick off and with that mentality, I fear their case may be added to divorce case we have on ground.


@OP, pls give the relationship the best to work out, you can invest in any business for her to manage and see if she will manage it well, just ask her what kind of business she will like to do and invest in it for her.


Relationship is tolerance and endurance, if any relationship lack that, nothing can make it last.

Temmy3256:
Please I seriously need help nairalanders. So I met this guy (ola) January 6th, 2021.I saw he's my spec despite the fact that I have a boyfriend (in a long distant relationship though). Ola and I exchanged numbers and we started talking as friends. He asked if I'm in a relationship and I told him yes, but he made it clear he likes me even with the fact that I have a bf. Fast forward till middle January, I visited him (ola) at his place in Lagos though I stay in Lagos too and my bf leaves in Abuja. He asked me to pack for the weekend, so I spent roughly 3days. We had sex on my first visit to his place, told me everything I needed to know about him but I never told him any crucial stuffs about me cause I felt it was too early. Fast forward to February 2021, ola kept inviting me over to spend my weekend with him and I never for once objected the offer even if it's not convenient for me, I'll always find my way down from the island to the mainland virtually every weekend because I love him and likes his person. The love I have for my boyfriend has reduced drastically cause of his attitude though. So I went to ola's house, I discovered I'm not the only one he sleeps with, he smokes, places priority on himself alone/first before considering me, this guy will promise to send me my Tfare after leaving his place but I'll never receive any dime from him(I'm only being considerate here cause he's a business man and he has other bills he needed to settle) lemme just say he's very stingy. I confronted him to know if he has someone else, at that point he had to ask if he's the only one I sleep with, don't I have a bf, of which I told him he's been the only one and that's the fact. Well, thereafter he begged me he was sorry for asking such a question and I forgave him and had sex. The last sex we had resulted into pregnancy cause I was so worried my period didn't show up when it should come, so being weekend had to come to his place but got pregnancy test kit with me, in his presence I checked with this kit and got a positive result. I'm 25years old and he's 33years old, after seeing the result he told me he's sure I'm not ready for this, told me how my parents and aunties will be so disappointed in me, so to cut the long story short he said he'll help get abortion pills to flush the blood out cause is still very fresh. This is a guy I sacrifice my time for, would cook all his meal for a whole month, I don't disturb or call him for money, I don't argue or fight with him. Well, my question is should I take the abortion pill or I should tell him I'm not aborting so he should man up and take up responsibility. I don't mind quitting my job to avoid shame

jondon11:
Fast forward to December last year, we discovered she was pregnant, a month pregnant. Told her we should keep the child and get married...she suggested we could abort since we weren't quite ready but I said what was a couple more months gonna make a difference?

adanny01:
You know we have a comprehension problem in this country. Most Nigerians read the news in black and white.

It's just unfortunate the way they treated Harry, I would do even more if I were him.

True its not as simple as it looks, he didn't abandon his family to be with wife. He has children that the royals do not want to recognize, so he is standing for his children not the way Nigerians are going about.

KevinDein:
You remember this when a woman is the source of the "worse". If it were the other way round, you'll probably be advising the lady to do what makes her happy.

Klass99:
Lol , you get yeye for body sha!

Did you not receive the memo that in Africa and Nigeria in particular, we marry for the sake of having children who will look after us in old age? We don't marry for companionship, love and sex o! We marry strictly for children!

In Naija children are a major retirement plan NOT savings, investments or pension. So we don't joke with that plan and yes inability to have children becomes a valid reason to divorce......you know I'm just messing around right . But, the African mentality on some things is seriously skewed and messed up.

IntentionTremor:
It is skewed. To the right, if it is for you. And to the left if it is against you - my case!

cococandy:
they only remember it when the guy is cheating or beating the woman. But when an actual situation that requires that commitment comes, it’s silence. It’s not like he was deceived into the marriage.

OP listen to those who are asking you to step outside. But before then, set your wife free.
She might be lucky to conceive with someone else.

cococandy:
Very well.

But This is also not the right time to advise him to go find another woman. Wonder why those posts are okay but my factual posts about abortion not being the cause of infertility is not at the right time.

I do think it’s appropriate because for one I’m not arguing with him. I’m giving him factual information.

Maybe if he stops dwelling on the wrong cause of his problem, a solution might come his way sooner.

The resentment he feels towards his wife, I’m sure she knows and feels it too. Negative feelings and stress can hinder the hormonal conditions that increase the possibilities of conception.

larryking540:
only you ,u want all ...u na oliver twist o

Ishilove:
The divorce part no easy. It's not like here where you can tell your partner to geddifok and the extended family will handle the rest of the divorce proceedings. No, in the west, the system will drag you by your balls while you scream for mercy. They will squeeze those balls until your voice turns soprano

peacettw:
Same here

EkelediliBuhari:
“And they Twain shall become one”

So what happened to after they become one??

I got wedded late last year and am barely 6months into it. Well these days I feel like I could go back to being single.

My wife is a nice woman, wonderful with the family and everybody loves her... she isn’t the problem


But I always miss that autonomy or doing things on my own, my way. Wake up this morning and just travel. The joys of being unpredictable.

There the fun of whoring tho but that isn’t an item. There’s more sanity in the freedom of bachelorhood than I can currently comprehend

Let’s share our experiences .. is it just me or does it cut across board

If yes, is there hope or shall this misery continue unending?

PS I was very comfortable before I got married. Not like I just struck gold.

peacettw:
Breathe.

It is tasking looking after a baby. Don't sweat it if you aren't getting things right. Always seek for help from the right source aka a paediatrician.

Learn to be assertive and trust your instincts. You will be flooded with lots of info from your mother-in-law cum other concerned relatives. Learn to say no if the info doesn't sound right to you. Some examples are
1. Massaging an enlarged baby's breast with hot water. That can introduce some infection

2. Herbal medication for tummy upset. Abdominal colic are common in babies up until 4 to 5 months of age. There is no known cure although exclusive breastfeeding, and burping can help.

3. Avoid the use of smoothie cream or its likes. Those creams are laced with very potent steroids that can knock off the hypothalamo-pituitary-adrenal axis in addition to killing off the normal skin flora.

4. I am sure you must have read that baby powders can cause female genital cancers. Best to avoid them


Again if in doubt, contact your doctor

Oh, one last thing. This is not the time to be a super mom/wife. If you are tired, sleep like your baby's life depends on it cos it literally does. I find that sleeping when baby does can help a whole lot to revitalise you, reduce postpartum depression and enhance milk production.

Someone below me just mentioned the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding. Trust me, they are 100% true.


I can go on and on but I will stop here.

shashaperry:
Oh! you're welcome dear. I asked cos it's quiet a long time since i last saw your Food post.

I'm just an admirer

shashaperry:
Where is Hathor5?

IamPlato:
poor cats ...


are they as demonic as you? i pray not

Offpoint1:
It seems you're more open minded, let me ask you some few questions.

1. How does female orgasm feel like?
2. Does orgasm = squirt?

Klass99:
Lol ,

Dear Coco, there are certain monikers, discussions, back & forth arguments you shouldn't bother getting involved with.

Because it will be a waste of precious time, a brain drain cos of the profoundly opinionated, unintelligent, toxic and zero value comments/posts such monikers put out.

I jump and pass a lot of that these days and don't bother arguing with internet strangers wey get ITK plus oversabi for body and are unable to engage without animosity or an antagonistic attitude.

I enjoyed reading your comments though, the maturity with which you flawlessly put jackasses in their place without insults or vile speech, is a badass move I need to learn. Respect!!!