₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
Never say never

I know some women who have had more in the midst of demanding careers/ jobs.

Some jobs help people do family planning. At least I know a bank that requires that you can't go for another maternity leave until after 18months or you resign.

Titto:
My former colleague had one, he said it openly when he was about to go for it. He doesn’t live in naija tho, maybe that was what changed his psyche.

Here in Naija, it's hard to find someone who has done one. How many wives can even broach the subject in their homes?

Romangalactic:
You're right to an extent,but I wonder y none of you have suggested vasectomy

How many men agree to do a vasectomy? Do you know anyone that has had one?

Your mum's reason might be flimsy but she just feels she has a hold on you and you must bend to her will. I think you haven't asserted yourself as a man of your own. That's why she can influence your decision.

I went through something similar but my husband is the type that stands his ground and doesn't allow interference.

You need to make your mum understand that your choice of a wife is your decision and you will appreciate her blessings.

Romangalactic:
I was wondering when some female was gonna type this

Lol...

I lie?

Naira235:
thanks. I will hide the whole thing from my parents. Last born are always over pampered and most doesn't have what it takes to work for their family.

Lol...not always o. On the contrary, my sisters like having me around because once I arrive, they sit and cross their legs while I take over everything.

For your topic, I guess you have made your decision. Your boss' daughter is the better option.

Sometimes we need to leave sentiments aside and decide according to what works best to avoid regrets. Because sometimes family have the entitlement mentality and end up messing things up.

The best way is to have a serious conversation about the topic. But the fact that you both already discussed it while dating and you were opened to the idea of 3 is already against you.

Having three is not too much as long as you are opened to it. The truth is that women always have the final decision when it comes to having kids. She can decide to take out the family planning stuff or stop taking the pills without your knowledge.

So, just discuss with her and open your mind to the possibility or reality that you might be having a third child.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Backbone503, I made the "Ekpang Nkukwo" like I promised.

I can never get tired of eating this.

Just for the culture. Enjoy.

Awesome stuff.

One of my favourite dishes

Musisco01:
Maybe you haven't been to the market in a long long time, if you have, maybe your idea about fishery and poultry would change instantly

I don't think you need to spend 4years learning it. It's like a vocational course that you can master with 6months training.

Danielfx:
No doubt I had doubt if her love was genuine. I have asked myself just how to get the truth out of her head. She came with tales of love, always making me feel like a king. Yes, she told me she thinks about me every seconds and how scared she becomes thinking of losing me.

This relationship started barely a month ago. We started as friends and eventually she became my girl. She was intrigued with tales of my ex and how hopelessly i drowned in love with my ex, how my ex gave me the shove of my life and how i wanted someone to change my obsession.

Then she came, she acted well but the connection just wasn't there but i had to play along and for the first time in my life, i felt what responsibility is, all her expenses became mine and she barely said no to anything i thrilled her to (do you want ice cream ? Yes... Do you want apple ? Yes..).

I became worried because she was a liability, always taking and never giving. She couldn't advise me in the simplest of assumed situations and making love to her doesn't excite me that much because i barely feel the thrust during sex... She lacked bedmathics and financial management. So, obviously she offered nothing.

So I called my friend and confidante to advise me about her, Afterall i was becoming unhappy each passing day with her. He told me to test her, "simply refrain from giving her a dime for now...."

I went to her place and after our usual boring moments i left without giving her money (I usually give her money). I arrived home and settled down to reminisce about the day, just then i realised she didn't call me. Oh no, she always put the call first so what could have been wrong. I texted her, thanking her for the moment we spent talking that evening and finally she called. We spoke for few minutes and bamn, she told me she wants to get busy with her chores, okay. The minute went bye, an hour, 24 hours, a day and few hours and still no call...

Why should i put the call Afterall, i offered her what most guys wouldn't and the only and one thing she had to do is call me to atleast say "Danielfx i miss you...."

Well, i learnt a funny lesson. She ain't loyal....

So you visit her and then give her money when you are leaving? Is it gisting money or what? I think you already set yourself up by yourself. Because I can't really understand why you give her money whenever you visit her.

Akara anyone. Breakfast

asunmoGGMU:
Lol. It is actually funny. There was a research carried out in Lagos with findings that average salary for bachelor's degree holder is 54k.

It is good to dream big but should be realistic. We really need to be saying all these so people don't run into depression with some unrealistic expectations.

Yeah. It's not a crime or shame to earn 50k but it is important to note that there are people earning 200k and more. People that didn't have 2:1 and who don't have connections. But they are determined to be part of that 8.35%.

This point is not to cause anyone to go into sad thoughts or depression but just to know that it is possible. It is not an impossible venture only reserved for some certain kind of people.

Harshreality:
Too many immature and selfish people getting married these days.
Always looking out for their own interest instead of the family

That is the major problem I see in marriage. It's not about money, family interference or anything. It is selfishness and immaturity from the one or both of the spouses.

If that is dealt with, other things will fall into place.

Roon9:
Lols! You never start ma

I don start since.

That contract job thing is a faux and I won't advise anyone I know to do it. Years back, I went for an interview for a bank contract job. When I realized it was contract, I wasn't really keen on it. And the interviewer who happened to be my senior in secondary school and he told me not to take the job but to try to get a full staff position if I wanted to work in a bank.

I pushed to get a job in a bank as a full staff and I understood what he meant because I worked with contract staff. They were also graduates like me but I earned more than double their salary and they worked under me.

Sometimes, the situation of things could be unfavourable but it is important to aspire for more

ireneidiva:
Clique not click.

Thanks

nobone:
Hubby is into biz, while I did a bank job.
I pay the nanny monthly. 90% of times, i paid the kids school fees before hubby would even know.I make sure I stock the house with toiletries and some groceries every month. I buy clothes for my kids, when I see their uniforms/ school bags, shoes and food flasks/lunch bags aren't good enough, I change them straight without looking back. I buy my clothes. Sometimes hubby does. As I do all these, I wasn't ever compelled. I wasn't either asked to. Out of my church mind I do these even more.
On Hubby's side, he stocks the house with foodstuffs every time. He doesn't give me money as most times I don't need it. I have access to all his accounts and most times we run his little business together. When I lost my job, I didn't have need for a nanny again, I paid her off cos she was a nice lady. Hubby took every responsibility 100%, but I still feel bad cos I don't want the biz money to run down.
As for your question, it depends on understanding. Be sincere to each other and in that way, you won't mind who pays what.

Meanwhile, I'm an applicant o! I can do any genuine job.

This is how marriage should be. Not all those spouses that are in competition with each other.

Fill gas ke! I don't think I have ever gone to fill it. My husband won't allow it.

What an annoying attitude. They must all be in the same clique. Where is it in the Bible that only God deserves thanks?

I think it's more of pride and superiority/inferiority complex. How can someone even live his life without saying thank you for anything. That's really strange.

Even my two year old cannot collect something without saying thank you. She even thanks her daddy when he buys her cereal, milk and other necessities. Meanwhile these old men cannot see reason to be thankful. It's a shame

starbuck:
Biko, what's the house address at 33, let me go and serve that woman a very hot cup of tea

The woman or the man?

Nelsonnwagbo:
Majority of married women living in onitsha are very heartless nd wicked
I lived with one during my college days nd believe me when i say my experience there isnt worth sharing

#dis life no just favour poor people at all

How come you are not castigating the man that beat the niece? Or doesn't the story say it was the uncle that beat her?

Roon9:
Hmm... Bro you don't even know what God is doing for you with that 60k after tax. Expand your online biz and save as much as you can from this your current job.

You are not wasting atall bro. Don't second guess yourself

60k? We should learn to dream big and expect more instead of being satisfied because some people earning less. What about the people earning more? 200k, 300k and above.

What could she possibly have done to make him kill her and take his own life? Very bad decision. The guy must have been a violent person. See how he pulled out her hair attachments from the roots.

ednut1:
Men will sleep with ladies that are engaged and about to marry. And still scream fear women

They only see the wrong from the side of the woman. But the man is innocent. He just happened to be tied up in her situation and found himself on top of her.

majamajic:
Carrying a baby without knowing is pure carelessness
Even if u didn't see your period , there must be other signs !

You need to resist the urge to lay blame. Read about it instead.

CanadaOrBust:
Like I said, exceptions. The vast majority of lastborns are babied without ever having to baby any sibling

What you say is not the gospel. It's just your opinion based on your own exposure. The last child in your family doesn't mirror last children in all families.

As soon as I could reach the sink, I started doing dishes and I did most of the cooking when I was old enough. And it's not peculiar to me. I know last children like me.

So all that "last children are spoilt and pampered" has always been a fallacy to me.

CanadaOrBust:
There are always exceptions. But think about it - how and where would a last child learn self-sacrifice??

Not exceptions. But many selfless ones depending on the kind of family you grew up in.

Families differ. While some last children are pampered and treated with utmost care, some are the official househelps of the house.

CanadaOrBust:
Hard to picture a last child being self-sacrificing. They’d THINK they are self-sacrificing, when all they are doing is what others do everyday

That's the picture you have in your head and that's actually your problem. You cannot claim to know how every last child in every family should be. So, do well to keep your conclusions to yourself.

CanadaOrBust:
Doormat spotted. They say it is hard to truly love a doormat. How true? This world sef - be a doormat, problem, don’t be a doormat, still problem!

Nope. It's what I would also do for my family too. Maybe it is as a result of being the last child.

Also, it's because he makes as much sacrifices as I. I can't condone a selfish person.

djon78:
Selfless to put there own wants behind?

In this our selfish and self centered generation. Anyone with that outlook is taken as a mugu/simp/weakling.
The person will end up eating all manner of shi.ts

Well...that has helped me for the past 5yrs. It's not all about me. If there's one meat left in the pot, I will make sure he has it...lol

sirciao:
[b]

I pray to doesn't get to that. Because he will realize too late that those other people are only after his money. And he happens to lose it all, they won't be there anymore.

Palema007:
This is inevitable, and I await that period for OP. My prayer though, Op is made enough to show the father what loser he is.

Hopefully it won't get to that point.