₦airaland Forum

djon78:
Marriage takes work
But how many are even willing to do the work?
People are tired, giving up
No strength to do it
it's not even easy again
Plenty wahala everywhere.

You feel you want to do the work
But your partner is not willing

Like Timaya said I no go kill myself

People get tired when one person is being irresponsible and not working on the marriage.

More people should realize that it's not a must to get married especially if they are not selfless enough to put their own wants behind.

Op there is oil on your head.

They only condemn and over magnify the cheating of women. But their own is normal.

I hope he doesn't squander all his money, get dumped by all his babes and now run back to your mum who will now be his caretaker. Because that's what usually happens. A man will spend his money around and now be broke and ill. That is when he will come back to be taken care of.

For you question, I don't think much can be done by the law in Nigeria. Maybe going the route of family elders might help.

People like free money and will do everything to get it. Even if it means betraying a friendship.

Blueelf:
This is the most mature comment here. To think it came from a female while the guys crying blue-murder couldn't contribute anything meaningful.

Respect ma

I think it's plain common sense. Most people here are busy shifting blame and citing a million and one reasons why marriage is a scam.

But the truth is that none of them is ready to take responsibility. They don't want to adjust their ways to accommodate their spouses. They still want to carry their excess baggage around and expect the spouse to live with it.

Marriage takes work from both parties.

[quote author=HITsquad post=90575955]Women are more dangerous than men in every aspect... Especially when she has more power and money at her disposal. Even Ancient civilizations knew this... Reason they have always kept women few steps behind.

80% of women lose their minds when they over grow their man... But men? It doesn't matter how big a man gets and how small his woman is? Things will always be stable.

this is just a natural and psychological fact, it's everywhere, Give your last born the authority over his/her older siblings and he will definitely abuse that power. It's just how it is...[/quote]Men bully and lord over their wives with their money and make the wives completely depend on them. The women learn to live with it and act accordingly especially when they don't have a choice.

If the roles change and the woman now has money, the man cannot live with it because of his pride and everyone will hear how big the wife has become. Meanwhile, no one knew he was worse when he had money.

NEWBIN:
We have known each other for about six months now. I proposed to her in March 2020 and kept telling me she was thinking about it.

Just yesterday, she said yes to my proposal and I was so excited. When I met her yesterday evening, she told me Friday (June 26) is her birthday and that, she expects a lot of gifts and mobile money from me. My bowels became full instantly so left to go ease myself.

I have lost interest. Show me a way to outsmart this fraudster of a lady, thanks.

So she accepted your proposal because her birthday is approaching? What you will do should be in your mind. Just observe her attitude from now on and you will know when to call it quits if she's not for real.

But as a boyfriend/ fiance, she deserves a gift from you. Nothing over the top considering she might be a fraudster. Maybe a perfume but not something that will affect your pocket.

The problem is people getting into marriage when they are not prepared to sacrifice. Marriage is for matured minds and it's not for selfish people. You are not thinking about yourself all the time but the other person more.

But we have too many selfish kids getting married and expecting the marriage to work itself or or waiting for the other person to do the sacrificing.

Even if it is just 2 out of every 20 marriages are doing well, do they have five heads? What are they doing right?

tega2luv:
[b][/b]please my fellow NLs , what are the ways or rather a step one can take to avoid getting a girlfriend.

Stop thinking about sex everytime. But don't go and have a relationship with yourself before you will come and open a "how can I quit masturbation" thread.

EzzyCarter:
Jeez. Monday morning. Wtf?

That's why some people cannot be rich. Sex is all they think about even on Monday morning when people are attacking their week with expectations.

They should be an association for guys who masturbate on Nairaland. Dem plenty.

Nwodosis:
Is possible the man might have secretly taken the children for DNA test to confirm his doubt about the second child and the two children turned out not be his!
The man decided to end it all, he tried to have left the innocent kids to live.

Yes..I read that he did a DNA while preparing to relocate to Canada.

Airforce1:
Na question you ask Abi na suggestion you make?

Just asking for a friend o

You no see question mark there ni?

GeoSilYe:
That is why when a guy rapes a lady or a girl, he'd say something like "it was her dressing that lured me" blah blah

Hmmm...the way rape entered this conversation...I don't understand.

Even a sex worker doesn't deserve to be raped. Consent is still needed

Airforce1:
Me and my first child , A girl .

Airforce 1 I hope you have married that girl. Or is this another baby mama?

GeoSilYe:
You guys are pathetic, the lady in the topic is not even an influencer. She works harder than y'all could ever work in your lives. You guys just see a girl and put the "Ashawo harlot" tag on her. Did you even think of going to her page to see what she does? She's a graphics designer and programmer for those who would still be lazy to go and check. Anuofias

But the pictures are suggestive. Or what is with the picture showing the long tongue? Some girls make guys call the call girls because they show off what they seemingly have to offer.

You have this one story and it has turned to "mothers of nowadays". Does it overshadow the many good mothers out there.

And don't get it twisted, it has nothing to do with "nowadays". There have been bad mothers since before we were born and they will still exist long after.

I just can't understand how a man can chook his mouth anywhere...throwing caution to the wind.

LukasPodolski:
Money is not the ultimate thing in this life.

For a lot of people on this forum, I have realized that it is. Everything seems to be attached to money.

Try to occupy yourself with more productive activities that will build your future instead of joblessly surfing the internet and social media looking for what is not lost. Because soon now, you will realize you actually want to be a man and not a woman.

J111333:
Suffering for children does not start and end with cooking for, bathing and breastfeeding them. No, it's way beyond that my friend.

A lot of men are irresponsible no doubt but the few responsible ones go extra miles in suffering for both the wives and the children.

To the topic. Some mothers do not expose the kids to the sacrifices of their fathers on time and kids naturally go the direction of who physically puts food on the dining table.

By the time the kids grow up to understand the reality on ground, daddy has gone to the great beyond after long hard work.

I didn't know that my dad had properties and bought shares in my name even while I was still in mum's womb until I grew up. Guess what, he is dead after all those struggles. He was tough, a great disciplinarian and mum was soft and great cook so as a kid who could I have naturally fallen in love with more?

There's so much that a mother can do to expose the children to their father's sacrifices. The blame or responsibility for that should not be on the mother.

Both have an obligation to bond with their kids despite other contributions to their lives so that no one will start shifting blame in future.

So while the mum or dad are busy with making money, they have to create time to spend with their children m

SLAP44:
It was supposed to be a yes or no answer.

Naaa. Is anything ever black and white. My response was more explanatory than just saying yes or no.

lefulefu:
why u telling him sef

It's better to be realistic than deceive ourselves.

SLAP44:
Will you leave you home as a married woman if you found out that your man cheated?

I am not good at answering hypothetical questions. But I know that one of the things I cannot condone is cheating. My husband cheating would be disrespectful to me and detrimental to my health and life.

SLAP44:
Bros we know that massage is massage, being with your woman has its own different feel, the laughs, the Jokes, the late night talks and the companionship has its own quality.

If the GF dey sleep around, you can change her lifestyle with more love. Some men feel that it makes them less of a man to allow a woman they love to be spending on them.

More love might not solve it. You have to choose your battles wisely before you will be fighting a lost cause.

A cheat might be a cheat no matter what. Except cheating is something you can condone and live with, it is best not to start what you can't finish.

Lordswazz:
Forget matter of low class. Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooost naija girls na money for hand back for ground. the few that don't demand are the exception.

What shocks guys about the foreign girls they meet in lots of the countries they travel to after spending so much time here is that the majority of them don't need your kobo; the chemistry and affection is enough. I don't know if it's the culture of lack that causes it in this country or just an innate trait.

Ok.

Haywhymido:
I wont go back to that 'perfect or not' issue since you have chosen to be myopic. With years spent in university, Nysc and travelling for business,If i had mingled with low class ladies that means most Nigerian ladies are. Go around ask a MAN not a p*ssy whipped boy about Nigerian ladies, the result will bring tears to your eyes. Also, i never said all Nigerian ladies but majority. i reaffirm my stand that the unintelligent ones outnumbered the intelligent ones at a ratio of 5:1 and stop twisting my words to raise an agenda.

Are you saying you are oblivious of the numerous stories of how it ended in tears for most of such men, that came to seek Nigerian women as wife after years of living in abroad, turning hardworking and honourable men to homeless men, turning their children against them in a foreign land, threats upon threats on daily basis just to cower them to serve their insatiable wants.

Sis. the earlier you people stop seeing yourselves as the next best thing after oxygen the better. There are lots of things that excite men other than ladies. why should we only look at Nigerian footballers? They are MADE remember? And we all know when money is involved you (Nigerian ladies) hardly let go. why dont we take a look at the average Nigerians in the foreign land. Divorce rate, seriously? visit a district court in your area you will have a change of view. I dont see theirs out weighting ours.

I would have liked to go along with your last paragragh but an average Nigerian woman flaws outweight that of a foreigner. Let's call a spade what it is,the meaning of a spade shouldnt vary due to the person holding it.

You people should work on yourselves especially these areas: Sense of entitlement, greedness and stinginess, sense of missing out , improve your communication skills esp. with opposite sex, not gossiping around every time and spend more time on enhancing yourselves with knowlege, skills rather than on instagram and all other whatnot. Guys want the best for you all and would really appreciate you for it.

All I can see here is playing the blame game and pot calling kettle black.

Years from now after spending years abroad, you will still marry a Nigerian woman. Till then, all this is just talk.

Haywhymido:
I never said they are all prefect, going forward any man that wanna encounter true love shd try them(foreign ladies). Conditional love is what's being professed by Nigerian ladies. Also, they are spontaneous while most Nigerian ladies are monotonous following some damned laid down rules. It is not about ass licking them they are simply better no need fighting it out. Most Nigerian ladies cant start a conversation with a guy, maintain a conversation, you lots like being spoon fed. Finally, they have this silly idea of entitlement, greedness $ stinginess and that all men want to get into their pants. This is not meant to downgrade you lots but just bringing it to the fore to see it for what it is

First and foremost, you have mingled tooo much with low class ladies that it has formed your opinion and mindset. Many men will tell you they meet intelligent Nigerian ladies.

Secondly, do you have a close friend that is married to a foreigner there? I am not talking about all those social media pictures or "guy you dey miss" types. I mean having first hand knowledge of how their relationship is. If they are so perfect, why is there so much divorce even with their men that are more mannered and respectful than our Nigerian men? Their divorce rate is higher than ours.

If there are so good, why do Nigerians who have lived there still opt to marry these "unfit" Nigerian women? Look at Nigerian footballers who have stayed abroad for years, past and present, how many of them married foreigners? What is the percentage?

Didn't you learn the concept of "all that glitters is not gold?" There is more to stuff that meets the eye.

Every woman home and abroad has their flaws, good aspects and peculiarities. No region is better than the other. So all this Ronaldo is better than Messi syndrome should remain in soccer.

danilmo:
She cheat ke
I and my escort will go to ur fathers house uninvited to get my hard earned bride price..

@ur last sentence, leave God out of this cheat topic.

Yeah. That's how the cheats leave God out so that it doesn't prick their conscience. .

Haywhymido:
It is a universal truth, foreign ladies are better than most if not all nigerian ladies. Deal with it

Are you comparing the bad eggs here with the good eggs there?

Or you believe all the ladies there are perfect? You must be naive. But I am not surprised. Most Africans see foreigners as gods...acting sheepish and blushing around them.

lefulefu:
u give money to a girl here she will feel offended and ask u weda u think she"s a prostitute .any girl u see taking money from a guy here is a hooker.thats how we know dem here .

After comparing dating a Nigerian and dating a foreigner, you will now still end up getting married to the same Nigerian that you are badmouthing.

If you want to compare both climes, do it well. The women you are praising there, marry them first and mess up, that is when you will be praising Nigerian women who take all the bullshit from their men.

HomerTimpson:
GOD BLESS U SIS,the truth be told "some people's mentalty abt money is why the world is in chaos till today...i just pity all this young boys with big phones and comments

They believe if they have money, their wives automatically become puppets. Marriage is not about one person oppressing the other.

Some husbands' only authority over their wives is their money. Once calamity strikes and the money disappears, they are finished. No wonder we see too many stories here with "my wife doesn't respect me anymore because I lost my source of income"