₦airaland Forum

Saintinoo:
Sure she should return the money and apologize.
But that us is not enough reason to nd the marriage plans. That is my opinion though.

Saintinoo:
Those banks are also robbing us, they hardly return the illegal charges on our account.
If you think you can have an angel as a wife, then try and watch your own life and see if you have no fault.

telegramguy:
Mods!!!!! Move this to the front page please.

I'm Forever proud to be a product of the school.


UI only awards degree when one has been certified upright both in character and in learning, Uites won't defend criminals

eRex:
If I were not married and I meet your GF... I will marry her....

She reason like a REAL LOGICAL AND MATURED PERSON.

The older someone gets the lonelier they become.

Quick check...
Case 1:
My mum had 4 of us 2 of us were married before she passed on.

My dad remarried after a year... Despite we kids rebuffing and co.

Today we are all happy living.. the guy is living is life so we are.

Case two:
My wife's mum lost her husband over 22years now. And never remarried. With my wife being the first child, she calls my wife DAILY discussing things that don't interest us.... But interest her...
- Ooooh she has been made secretary to the women association in the village.
- how she got a set of new chicks and will rear dem till infinity.
I can go on and on... and this happens Everyday.
Best part is she flashes and we call.. and it goes for hours.
Point is she is obviously lonely as she stays alone in the building built by her husband in the village... All d kids are in Lagos chasing one thing or the other.
We practically have asked her self... Is any man not wooing u in the village.
Loneliness can lead to depression... So much though of.....

In you own stand think it thru....

You MAY underline MAY ... Never be there when she needed some one to talk to when u are married and seriously pursuing your career.

My point... Your GF was never out of place throwing such discussion.. only shows she have had a future in though which most ladies don't have.

I sure hope u too think of the future too.

Mvici:
I Lost Confidence In My Girlfriend The Moment She Asked Me To Marry For My Mother.

I had a girlfriend some few months back before the covid 19 outbreak, that was after we went home from school due to the strike and the pandemic, we both are in the same school which is IBB university lapai, in our final.

So at home this faithful day, I put a call through! We both were talking, laughing on phone, so she ask about my mum, I said she was fine and she now ask abt her loneliness because no one at home, I told her but I'm still here with her, she ask what if school resume and what if we should go for our service next year, she now told me to marry another man for my mum.... lol... telling me who knows" that my mum might like the idea if I should table it with her. Gosh! I actually laughed about it then on phone with her but inside me, it wasn't funny at all.

The next day, what she told me was still bordering me, so many things were just running on my mind...so even if by mistake I wife her in future and the Lord decide to take me when we have a grown up child like me, who is planning on becoming a graduate this year and have even spent 30 years in marriage already....she won't even mourn me for long before accepting another man's proposal or bleeping with another man or probably her one time ex.

I decided to ask my mum with play, mum be sincere to me, you and my dad have been married since far back 1986... U both were in marriage for about 30 yrs before he past away few years ago, may his soul rest in peace..this is 5yrs now are you considering on marrying any one or having any kind of body movement or even can stand the presence of another man in your life?

Guess what her reply was....
Mum said my dad was the only man she know in her life and that's how it going to remain by God grace, period! and I shouldn't ask her such again with cry/smiles on her face because she has me and I will give her groundchil........

Seriously I don't know why I brought this here but pls tell me, any girl that can ask a 52 Year old woman to re_marry even after she has a child, isn't it clear that she can't stay without having sex to anyone as long as her husband is on a peace keeping mission or even travel abroad?

Thanks everyone.

cococandy:
Haven’t you heard of the women who the men didn’t even know they fathered other people kids until years and years later? Why didn’t those women kill the men the moment they slept with other people? How did they maintain their homes while cheating like the men did too?

None of these things are determined by gender.

Don’t judge by beer parlor stats. Those aren’t real life.

CanadaOrBust:
You may learn something. At least you’d know nothing I’m saying here is out of gender bias

CanadaOrBust:
Popular culture will tend to disagree with u. None of the following applies to their male counterparts:

Wicked step mother
Wicked Mother-in-law
Madam tortures maid
Lady steals baby
“Hell hath no fury...”

CanadaOrBust:
Check out this my new thread.
I’m actually a closet feminist:

https://www.nairaland.com/5964241/why-70-u.s-black-women

CanadaOrBust:
U r the one that is totally biased and trying to make this a gender thing. Anyone who pays even cursory attention KNOWS it is vastly wives that torture maids, not husbands. It is mother-in-laws that cause problems not father. It is “wicked step mother” not father.
These are things that have been established through decades. U don’t have to go ask every mrmber to know it. Even the surveys u mentioned don’t do that

CanadaOrBust:
U just defeated your own argument - surveys never ask all members of a group as u advocate. They take a sample - exactly same thing I do

CanadaOrBust:
In that case u cannot opine on anything cos there’d always be cases u don’t about. You have to go around and ask every single member to conclude about a group!

CanadaOrBust:
What else should I focus on if not what I myself see and read everyday. How many times have seen stories where the husband was gratuitously torturing the maid?? It is always the wife!

CanadaOrBust:
Of course there are always exceptions but going by people I know and stories I read, it’s not even close. I know two families right now where the men’s son and daughter from previous marriages are ostracized. See the story below, it is typical. This would never happen if he was the woman’s son

CanadaOrBust:
U r still confusing actions motivated by money or deviant sexual urge with actions motivated by just gratuitous wickedness and callousness, which is what we are discussing. If a survey were taken of all 9ja households and the maids were asked who is more wicked, Oga or Madam, tell me honestly what u think will be the result.

CanadaOrBust:
I’m not doing gender wars at all. I’m honestly saying what I perceive. I say “wicked” in quotes, u can actually say “stronger” instead. I have so many instances where a man married a lady and they both have children. ALWAYS, the lady’s children are favored to the extent of sometimes the man’s children are totally ostracized. Even in the Bible, Sarah had Haggai thrown out with her baby. As for armed robbery, kidnapping, etc, those are motivated by money or sex, not the gratuitous “wickedness” we are discussing here.
Let’s put it this way, part of the reason wives file much more divorces is because they are “stronger”

CanadaOrBust:
Right on cue, this just hit front page:
Woman Uses Hot Iron On 10-Year-Old Maid, Drills Nails On Her Head (Disturbing pics)

https://www.nairaland.com/5967404/woman-uses-hot-iron-10-year-old

CanadaOrBust:
Your post sounds very logical and reasonably until we start looking at real life - Women just generally seem more callous than men. Consider, who is usually more “wicked” - step mum vs. step dad, mother in-law vs f.., madam vs. Oga.
How many times have we read of women almost killing house helps; women callously stealing other women’s babies or killing pregnant women to take the child.
Even the cheating u mentioned, a man will be doing it
and still maintain his home. Let a woman do it once, next thing you’ll hear is she was arrested for attempting to get rid the husband. Here’s another: men get turned down and even ridiculed all the time, but “hell hath no fury like a woman turned down even once”. A woman will tell a lovelorn pleading man, “Look, I don’t want u, get out of my face b4 I slap u”...

Dyt:
Creative
Pls gimme butter
I want Planta butter

CanadaOrBust:
Au contraire, there is always need for that. That’s one thing many girls don’t realise, the biggest fear many men have about marriage is losing their freedom. A smart girl will assuage that fear by telling them they can still have that, then after marriage gradually teach him the truth - that all he really needs is u and the kids

CanadaOrBust:
Quite Insightful, but also consider another reason: women are generally more “wicked” than men (at least that has been my observation in my 30 odd years on earth), so while a man may be reluctant to file for divorce out of consideration for who it might hurt, a woman will promptly file for divorce if they deem it the right thing.
Mr. Lalasticlala, respectfully, this is the type of stimulating thread that enhances our great Nairaland front page

Biglittlelois:
You like to dish out unnecessary banters waiting for war of words from both genders, then sit on the fence, watching and smiling as it happens, without choosing a side or a clear cut message.

Are you trying to say that it is better for a lady to marry a jobless man because he can get a job later, than marrying a man with a job who can also become jobless later?

Are you also trying to insinuate that marrying a jobless man who can also have a job later, can't also loose the same job

linearity:
Bros take a chill pile....

About 150,000 people died today world wide....more 90% of them were positive in their confessions and never wished to died.

The words from their mouth, their thoughts, etc was to live, but they still end up dead!

Now, if 90% who were positive end up dying, and only 10% who were negative died....by every scientific measures....it means, one stands the chance of survival if they are negative.

Am not in anyway saying that, been negative somehow makes one not to suddenly pass...am only bringing in stats to let you know that, the data did not back your conclusion....they even appear to contradict them.

ukpahu:
i no my ppl with charm even her parent surport her and my mother did not want to bring the issue out all my sister my brother my village ppl no dat baby s my but sometime i think woman are heartless

UyaiIncomparabl:
Iyammi! Sai! See me drooling.

Ame song esid o! Anyways, there's God.

bukatyne:
OP should work his wife into the bank so he gets additional 18 months.

Cest fini