₦airaland Forum

Dinner time!

Egusi with oziza leaves.

I wanted someone with a bigger nose than mine and someone with mathematical knowledge

That's the age of activity. My husband complained today about ours...she's 2 plus. I told him it is the age. But in her case, she hardly cries. She can go a whole day without crying. This one na correct old woman.

holocron:
Last last you will still turn to his enemy. MARK MY WORDS!

Friendship between the opposite sexes is not sustainable, as they have divergent and irreconcilable interests. What is best for the male is at the same time disadvantageous to the female, and vice versa.

@ bukatyne, this is one of the bad belle people we were talking about. People who can never wish others well aside themselves.

bukatyne:
Leave him.

When some people don't have something or can't relate with an experience, they start to project same on everyone else.

Too many bad belle people around

mozele:
I guess that's what ladies seem not to understand about we guys.

you see ehn, lust has always been one of the killers of men...

when a man is lustfully chasing after a woman to have a taste of what lies in-between her ties, his thinking faculty litrarily shuts down.

Whatever visible faults either in physique or character becomes totally nonexistent and unnecessary.

if men could rape a 3 month old baby, 82year-old grandma, or a mad woman down the street, why do you think he can't get intimate with someone he can't stand?

it's was never done in his right senses. when you are led by lust, these are the results you'll often get.

This is one reason I do ask God for the grace to overcome the spirit of lust in my daily prayers. It's not easy!

I understand this perfectly. Men are visual. But whether or not they are in their right senses, they thought it over and decided to go ahead with it, damning the consequences. So whatever eventualities come, they have to take it well. Because the men that decide to resist and use their head instead of their genitals don't have 4 heads.

Dextre:
Cos men don't attach emotions to sex. Sex is just sex for men,a form of exercise, that's all.

I pray the exercise keeps the OP's marriage fit.

bilulu:
Lolz.... but i guess you do understand my point. They friendzone the one dey re supposed to date/marry and go for the one that will destroy their heart

Not every friend can be converted to lover or husband status though. Feelings have to develop and the feelings have to be mutual. So if a friend remains a friend, it is not bad also.

bilulu:
After una don friendzone the guy, you will start telling him "you are like a brother to me", we can't start doing this na, I appreciate our friendship, you ladies rather give stranger than that friend because you don friendzone am

The "una" you are referring to is not me. Because I did marry my long time friend.

dvkot:
i wonder too.. Y'all can just stick your cane into any hole but you can't spend your life with her. Im probably sure you told her you love her before getting her pregnant

What are you on about?

bukatyne:
Awon Linda Ikeji geng!

You don't know "sex happened" too, from drolufunmilayo on Twitter

niyidenrele:
And if you don't have best friend from the opposite sex , what should you do ? Befriend them by force, mtchewwww

I didn't have a best friend either. And it isn't mandatory to marry someone that has been your friend. You can build your relationship on friendship first.

niyidenrele:
And if you don't have best friend from the opposite sex , what should you do ? Befriend them by force, mtchewwww

I didn't have a best friend either. And it isn't mandatory to marry someone that has been your friend. You can build your relationship on friendship first.

lexy2014:
Don't get emotional. It's a simple discussion. If d questions am asking are petty, am surprised that u couldn't answer any of them. Speaking of beating around d bush, it's questions I asked. I didn't make any assertion. It's u who made assertions. So it's u who has been beating around d bush cos u didn't even understand what u were saying

Seriously, I am not getting emotional. But you have taken to long to land or to make your point.

You keep asking questions like "who is a friend" that you should know. And the back and forth was beginning to make me dizzy.

There's nothing I said that I didn't understand. Point out one thing I said that I didn't understand.

lexy2014:
Am following ur line of reasoning except u didn't figure it out what u said b4 u said it. Already u are opening up another front about "qualities" when u haven't been able to to state specifically who a friend & how it relates to adding value

It is your reasoning you are have been following. Asking petty questions and beating about the bush. Asking "who is your friend". If you don't know what a friend is at this age, I can't help you.

honest1480:
Marrying your friend means getting married to a lady or a man you both started without marriage intention at the initial point, but along the line you found that person to possess the qualities you desire in your future partner. It is not advisable to marry a stranger because the understanding you both need to live together as husband and wife might not be available. Meanwhile, to a greater extent, you understand your friend. I got married to my wife whom I met as a friend during our 200 level back then in Uniabuja. To the glory of God, we are living so happily as best of friends because we so much understand each other.

You captured it aptly. A true friend, not a frenemy.

Please lexy 2014 and yanabasee1. This says it all.

Champneys:
Ori e ti daaru, iwo odensin yi!
Ubiak fokasibe your life dia.

Sai! A tang iko nte idad. Aya do ok.

lexy2014:
So if a person doesn't add value in every sense that doesn't benefit me, then that person isn't a friend?

Answer the question yourself. Is that person your friend?

There are more qualities that a friend should have. I am sure you can figure it out

lexy2014:
Adding value in what sense?

Adding value in every sense that benefits you.

SmartPolician:
I was hoping you would counter my point with a very strong argument

You can counter your argument with the strong argument you are hoping for so that we can learn.

yanabasee1:
You don't have to go that lane..... Be civil.



As a married woman, I expected so much from you and not this childishness!

Hahaha...emotional or marriage blackmail

I was only responding in line with your comment. And I didn't say for sure, I said "maybe".

You should also be conscious about the words you throw around. I expected more from a single guy not some loose words that he won't take responsibility for.

SmartPolician:
Everyone is screaming marry your friend, but they are forgetting something. The way a girl treats a friend is not the same ways she treat a lover.

A girl may seem veryyyyyyyy nice when you guys are just friends, but you will see a different girl when you start "entering the place".

Then, she will make you to understand that for the fact that you didn't have any responsibilities to her as a friend that cannot be the same as a lover. You will start wondering if she's really the same person you once had as a friend.

My point is, while the idea of marrying a friend is good, there's always a huge cleavage between a friend and a lover.

There is a point where you move from being friends to being more than friends.

Marrying your friend doesn't mean you both are still "just friends" till you get to the alter. There have been some kind of paradigm shift...a change in the relationship...an agreement between both parties to take it to the next level.

osamz007:
YOUR FRIEND NA DAT PERSON WEY GO DEY FOR YOU WHEN NO ONE DEY FOR YOU

YOUR FRIEND NA THAT PERSON WEY GO SUPPORT YOUR HUSTLE

YOUR FRIEND NA DAT PERSON WEY GO FIT UNDERSTAND YOUR DISPOSITION

YOUR FRIEND NA DAT PERSON WEY GO LOVE YOU IRRESPECTIVE OF CIRCUMSTANCES

YOUR FRIEND NA DAT PERSON WEY GO ALWAYS PUT YOU IN PRAYERS EITHER TO GOD ALLAH OR ELEDUMARE


IN CONCLUSION YOUR FRIEND NA DAT PERSON WEY GO STAND LIKE LONDON BRIDGE WEY NO GO FALL INSPITE OF ALL WATERS OF LIFE WEY PASS UNDER ALL WINDS WEY HIT AM ALL LOADS WEY E GO CARRY.

Please increase the volume

yanabasee1:
But friends do turn enemies and enemies be one friends....

Abi o.

Maybe the one you marry will turn your enemy. But the one I married will forever be my friend

lexy2014:
D question is who is ur friend?

You don't know who your friends are?

But in case you don't know, let me borrow from tobechi74

"anybody that adds value to your life"

Champneys:
Ma tan ara e.

Ubiak? Unieghe ufan? Kuyadesit, Ka ke yem ake mfo.

LordKO:
So ImaIma1 wey I de mobilize my village people to come follow me go and pay her bride price tomorrow don marry finish.

Please de-mobilize them

I guess sex happened or she just fell pregnant.

If not, why get intimate with someone you can't seem to stand.

Falling in love with your friend is awesome and makes life and marriage easier.

I am a beneficiary of this

frisky2good:
OP thinks he can always be there for his mum. One day he will discover that it is the village headmaster that is always in their house keeping his mother company. Not because they are having anything intimate but because he's the one that has her time.

He cannot imagine his mum betraying his dad and re-marrying. He is rather comfortable with the fact that his mum will live with the loneliness just so that he is comforted that his mum remains faithful to his dad even in death.

eRex:
Its is the rubbish mentality of ownership via marriage...

I blame our customs and traditions for putting us were we are on this issue.
After billing the man thousands n millions of naira just to get married to the woman,
Suddenly the late husband family will start looking at the widow like.... Upon all d money that our brother spent to marry this one... she want to go and marry another...

Can't try this in civilized country..
Divorce is hot cake... With divorce lawyers cashing out.... Not to talk of when the spouse is now late

And that's why as a Nigerian man, the OP has such mentality. Meanwhile the girlfriend doesn't

Saintinoo:
You see, neither me nor you know details of what happened, we don't know how they have been living and what attitude she have exhibited before. The guy knows her better, if this is the only wrong she have done then what is the excess of courtship.

If you can check my second comment i said something like if her good outweighs her bad. i have stayed with different kinds and types of women, but if the guy think he cannot marry a woman who will talk someone money then he an end it.

The buttom line here is he should not make any decision in a haste.

Based on the information he gave, that's what we are basing our comments on. And not what else he hasn't told us.

I am just saying that something that borders on integrity is enough to pause a wedding.

What are the valid reasons acceptable for someone to pause wedding plans? If we check it, it has a lot to do with integrity.