₦airaland Forum

lefulefu:
dats in naija ooo .over here girls dont care about ur money.that u putting a girl under a monthly or weekly stipend u call girl friend allowance or maintanance fee would be considered as a laughable thing over here

I don't subscribe to giving a girl monthly stipend. Well, it depends on the guy and probably he has plenty money to go round. He should rather encourage her to do something for herself

SLAP44:
It happened in my presence, a good friend of mine was claiming hard man and that he doesn't spend on women. The day they had trouble and the girl called me to her place to come separate the matter with my friend, I went there and met them both, as we were talking, the girl told me that "although he rented this apartment for me and furnished it last year, I caught him with another babe"

I turned and looked at my guy like "See your life"

I take such talk with a pinch of salt. That's why I don't live according to people's mouth. A lady will tell her friend that she can never wash her husband's underwear. She too will go home and fight her husband and stop washing his underwear. The day she goes to her friend's house and catches her washing the husband's underwear, she will regret and feel like a big fool.

Talk is cheap

lefulefu:
imagine a girl who has done so much for a guy..such a girl nobody will tell the guy to treat her like a queen...but that girl will just come from somewhere and be demanding for fee or that u should be giving her money monthly cos u greeted her and she replied omo she don jam rock be dat .anyway if its me i would just advice such a girl to go and get a sugar daddy.there lots of mumu old men around looking for young girls to spend all the money meant for the upkeep of their families .a smart girl should hook up into such largeese

One way or the other, a man will always spend on the woman he claims to love. It is almost impossible not to. Have you seen any man that doesn't spend on the lady he is dating no matter how little?

I have only seen on Nairaland

goodman3:
Not when the man is rich, if she cheats, send her packing. All these equality nonsense is for men who don't have money. That's why every man should Hustle to make it. Marriage never favours men except they have money, learn this today.

So when he's not rich and she cheats, he should keep her. Ok.

It seems being rich to some people means that they have the right to lord over their wives and others.

That's why God cannot allow some people to be rich. Because he knows what being wealthy will turn them into.

Forget it! Even the ones that go around calling people "simps" and forming voltron, spend on their women.

Don't let them deceive you.

Age does not matter as long as the two people involved are comfortable and fine with it. And it's always better to keep that information private because not everybody is open minded enough to handle it. They will just carry the matter for you on their head like gala.

DenreleDave:
My only crush... Babe I Don miss u..


Is there a space for me in ur heart??

Let me check. I dey come.

DenreleDave:
Imalma love

Here I am.

LilMissFavvy:
yeah....I agree. I am partially correct, same as you are. But the truth is that most times when we give excuses and avoid doing a particular thing, it is usually due to the stress/inconvenience involved in such tasks.

We are talking about sex here o.

If the excuses and refusals are much more than the giving in, then there needs to be some kind of intervention and inquiry.

bukatyne:
Then she is eating her cake and having it.

And what is the use of the marriage if she is fine with her husband committing adultery?

Some people's understanding about marriage has to change first for them to act better and take responsibility.

zedegit:
The reality is that some women don't like sex. They see it as a burden.

I was shocked when a female lecturer insinuated that when she gives birth to a certain number of children, she will lock 'shop'.


I was like "what!". Sex is not only for child bearing but bonding between a man and his wife.

Close shop should mean for having children and not stopping sex.

If it's to close shop for sex, then she doesn't really care if he gets it outside as long as he's not bothering her for it.

bukatyne:
@Bold:



Which is why I say it starts from the mind.

Yes it does.

Adunny07:
Please I just really need someone to talk to about this and I will like your candid advise..

So since my older sister got married I always come to her house and spend few weeks or months and go back. Al·through my university days, whenever school is not in session I always come down here to spend time with her and her husband.

Truth be told the husband is a very nice man and has helped me always financially, anytime I come here once my sister welcomes me the first day like this, from the second day she leaves all her house chores for me, I mean everything and she just relaxes. At times I get really tired and don't even feel like doing those chores but because most times when I come visiting she is heavy ( pregnant) so most times I just help her...

Thing is my sister doesn't appreciate all my effort, most times she complains self its the hubby that tells her that I am hardworking and at least she should give me credit for all I do.

Now the reason why am writing this is because am done with service (NYSC) and as it is its like I have to stay in her house because the state where she stays has more job opportunities compared to where our parents live... She stays in Abuja...I have been down with malaria for few days now and I have been on treatment, just because I can't do certain house chores because am not too strong my sis started complaining saying I can't be living in her house and be waking up whenever i like... Mind you I was always the first that wakes up when I wasn't sick, in fact I will wash the dishes, sweep, mop daily, cook food, bath her children and all those things.

The only thing she does is to bath her youngest baby, but now because for these few days she has been doing those work I do daily she is already saying she can't tolerate me sleeping and not waking up on time.

My question is this, does she have the right to be so angry at me because she is doing her house chores? I feel its her house and so she doing her house chores herself shouldn't be a problem since am not too strong to help her do it. She herself just sweep and doesn't mop, but she expects me to sweep and mop everyday.

Should i just go back to my parents house and get a job there? Me renting my own house is not an option because am a lady and am just 22...

Please i need you guys advice, what can I do?

If all you have said is true, you will be better off moving out from there. Because someone who is not appreciative can never be satisfied.

If she is more interested in you doing the chores, she won't encourage your search for a job because you won't be of much use to her. And when you start working and you still live there, it will be a problem because you won't be able to do chores as much.

It's left for you to choose what works for you. If you can live with her attitude towards you, stay. If not, pack your bags.

LilMissFavvy:
The funny thing is that 95percent of the wife's complaints are valid, yet she is crucified.

You live in a small sized accommodation due to poverty, yet still bring in your mother/relatives into same house. Yet it's a crime she's disallows sex so that relatives do not hear her. Oga, a sensible wife wouldn't want relatives to hear her when she's with you.

No good ventilation, no fan, is she to be blamed? Or she should suffer under a stuffy atmosphere in the name of sex.

Tells you to go get a bath and perfume your body. Aren't you supposed to bath, brush, at least most nights in readiness to meet your wife? Was personal hygiene meant for the females alone?

She complains that she's tired. Why wouldn't she feel tired when you have dumped all chores on her, especially after she comes home from work, and still attends to the kids.

She is afraid of pregnancy. Oga use condom, or practice withdrawal method the way a young energetic husband should.

She is menstruating...... Isn't that natural?

As for the religion angle, aren't you the one that married her into your church?

She.........and the list goes on and on.

Hahahaha

When you don't want to do something, you can have a million and one excuses. But if you want to do something, you will look for a way inspite of all the limitations.

If it's a small accommodation with relatives, at least they are not sleeping in your room. You can keep it quiet.

They have fan na. And if it's bad, something can be worked out.

Sex is not a church service that you need to prepare for. So if he says "quickie", he has to go and bath, shit and spray perfume. Where's the fun?

You will be shocked that she has a househelp but still complains of tiredness.

All in all, excuses come when there's no interest.

DominusPrime:
Boss man!!! Its not easy to make that list men. You've done well for yourself. I hope they find you so we can hear your own side of the story...


Modified: some people in this life do not understand the meaning or concept of sarcasm. Na so life don treat una hard?

They need to visit Twitter more

MoodyQueen:
Reno the blind shepherd leading blind sheep.

It's not the people giving unsolicited advice that I blame but the people who swallow the advice hook line and sinker.

Do they even know if Reno did worse?

Wettoid123:
we are in the same boat if the brother of the wife is getting married the man can willingly give out something to the boy but not tax or must

Obviously the family didn't treat him well when he was marrying their daughter. We don't even know what part this same son played in the guy's marriage matter.

Wettoid123:
is your husband breathing because of ur family please don't suffocate him the only thing I do for my in-law is by sending them Xmas goodies annually which is sure, stay married and forget about your family shit but that does not mean your husband should just shun them cos no man marry woman for free.

He didn't marry her for free. He paid bride price. If shunning means not paying them salary and not contributing to their son's bride price, he should please shun them.

That kind of family will never appreciate what he does and will keep demanding for more as long he obliges them.

The family have no shame and it also shows in their daughter's attitude.

After paying exorbitant bride price without concession, he is expected to give them monthly salary and help their son son pay his own bride price. Them try

phal:
Really? Pls kindly enlighten me the more, I didn't want to join the bandwagon of Toyota/Honda,
please tell me more about the Nissan why u said is a No Go area... Thanks

It's not about bandwagon o. It's about what is durable, less problematic, saves fuels and easy to get and cheap parts.

You will go and buy a car that will give you headache because you don't want to join the band wagon.

Toyotas are good and durable. Hyundai is also very good with cheap car parts and the fuel conservation is awesome.

Bossjakande:
if I tell u am not angry wit u am a lier. u Neva saw me in d rooms and Neva ask of me.not fair. how is baby

Lol...sorry.

I have been off and on.

Hope you good.

I met him close to my office. He pretended to be single and his friends even joined the pretense. I noticed how protective he was of his phone. But men, this guy had my time. He could call and call, take me out, treating me like I was his whole family.

Long story short, I was suspicious so I went to his friend's list on fb and sent a friend request to a female friend of his. She told me he was married with children. When I confronted him, the idiot knelt down to propose. I just thought he was a sick person.

Bluezy13:
Like I said, I grew up alone.
I do cook very late in the night and even very early in the morning around 4am, if I'm to leave the house by 6am/7am.
A lady once stayed with me, she noticed that after all the work we will do in the night, I'll still wake up by 5am to prepare breakfast, eat before going to work and keep hers while she will still be sleeping.
I was never bothered.
After about a week, she started waking up early to make breakfast on her own and sometimes beginning the plan in the night.
She saw my way of life, she adjusted herself to it volitionally. It has been working that way with women.

You see,
I grew up that way and I'm used to it.
When I don't have the strength, I simply eat out.
No woman should think she's doing me a favor by cooking for me. She should either see it as an obligation or she let go.
I won't be bothered.

So rather than settle an issue, you will prefer to go forever without eating her food? And you think that is marriage. What if you meet a woman that will also not send you for as long as you continue?

You guys will just be doing competition until it leads to irreconcilable differences. Little hinges swing huge doors. It's seemingly little things that destroy a marriage and takes away peace.

But apparently, not everyone wants a peaceful marriage.

anslem04:
Did you forget the "culprit" @floyd is in quick detention because we all know him which is quiet dfferent from "Vera case" the culprits are yet to be known, that is why we shuld allow the law enforcement do there job & fish out the culprits, instead of subverting the process with emotional uproar, trust me noise won't solve anything busola case should av taught most of you law & emotion don't mix.
You should know by now a case that has as so much public empathy can neva be swept under the carpets. didnt you see tinubu raising a placard yesterday, that counts

Still, this doesn't lessen the rape. It doesn't change the fact that rape and murder are grave crimes. Whether or not there is emotion, public empathy or whatsoever, rape is unjustifiable. And the perpetrators don't have an excuse for doing it

anslem04:
Rape is bad ,Rape is evil, no one deserves to be raped (m or f) nevertheless unfair hearing & instant judgement is bad & evil as well.
The highest form of evil & crime is murder, buh across the world murderers are subjected to investigation, fair hearing before pronouncement are made. does it implies or mean the system support murderers. we all saw how floyd was killed live, buh till date the police officer is still awaiting trial that should tell you law has a process and there is no room for emotion.

Awaiting trial but not walking free.

All your analysis do not justify the crime.

Or you think when they have the rapist in custody and he gives a good reason for the rape, he will be absorbed of the crime? Fair hearing won't make the rape/murder any less.

Vyzz:
I decided to be neutral in this case. Not supporting any of the side but some Nairalanders called me names.
Well as days unfold we shall here more tales here.


Modified

ALL these keyboard warriors and initial gragra is trash.
You guys should step outside and stop hiding behind ur keyboard. As for the rape case am still speechless. Everybody mustnt be on the same boat, as for me I am not even in the sea.
Understand me here I didn't say anything about supporting or not supporting anything, I have as much right I believe.

There are some issues that you can be neutral on. This is not one of them. Except you low key like the idea of raping. No one deserves to be raped and murdered.

Are you waiting to hear from the side of the rapists? To see if their actions were justified because of something she did?

Some of you guys cannot empathize until it hits home. I pray it doesn't get to that.

sassysure:
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.thestar.com/amp/life/2018/01/31/sleep-paralysis-linked-to-anxiety-stress-and-depression.html&ved=2ahUKEwickoH8sOHpAhU9SxUIHY9yA2EQFjAOegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw2Sxs2xPWj6LI3w3tkIm5U7&ampcf=1&cshid=1591040908150

I didn't say depression cannot cause it. But that it's not only depression that causes it as you implied.

Besides, your link says "stress", "anxiety" and "depression". Not just depression.

sassysure:
Not necessarily as in depression can't cause that

I don't know if depression can cause it but all sleep paralysis is not linked to depression

sassysure:
That thing is very bad.
I think it has something to do with depression

Not necessarily. I think hormonal changes affects it too. I had it so much when I was pregnant. Sometimes, even twice in one night. And I gave birth, it disappeared.

Mariangeles:
Betrayal!

If he could do this without your knowledge, there are still some shocking truths yet to be revealed! Brace yourself!

Exactly!

bukatyne:
Like you, I read parents.

It is actually partners as per spouses/lovers.

Oh! Let me modify

That's how my babe realized after getting married that her husband had made enquiries from.people about her salary, even down to all the allowances and bonuses she gets paid.

While she was looking at marrying someone she would grow with, he was busy investigating her income.

Now, so much regrets.