₦airaland Forum

A lot of people are direct opposites of what they are online. They might act tough and hard but that's probably their alter ego that they play out online but in real life they are scared cats.

One of my regular joints then in IB...Skye Bank Bodija

CanadianNaija:
Are you minding the OP? That one is just someone that doesn't have a mind of his own, they will so use him eh...including his mother sef.

My own is he should just remain single, because i doubt any right thinking woman will be able to tolerate this situationship he has going on with his family. I'm already disgusted sef, and i'm not there o.

Yes, because if he gets married, there will definitely be friction between mother and wife as he has given his mother so much power over him. If he wants to switch that power, there will be issues.

Some men create the problems that exist between their wives and their mothers with their antecedents...how they have done things before the wife came. That's why it would look like she came from nowhere to benefit

CanadianNaija:
The only problem I see here is you. You’re a weak person, and people like you will forever be taken advantage of.

Why is your mother holding your money when you’re not an illiterate? That’s how your family keeps knowing how much you have.
You behave like a child, so you’ll keep being treated as one.

You don’t owe your parents nada! If you give your mum money for upkeep, it’s because you want to it’s not your job to do so.
Do not let obligation to kill you, if dem find you today your family will still survive, they won’t die of hunger.

You better sit down and give yourself brain, else you’ll never rise above that level of poverty you just described up there.
Also, I hope you don’t intend to bring somebody’s daughter into this mess with your over-dependent family?

So many wrong things with the way he lives especially as s man. How can his mum be keeping his money? He feels he is obligated to them.

We should stop believing that we owe our parents because they nurtured us and all. We didn't beg to come to the world. So they should not act like they did us a favour sending us to school, clothing us, etc.

Op needs to toughen up

X2ksed:
I really do not like responding to messages like this but let me correct your thinking . You do not have to engage in fraud to make money bro. What have I really achieved that is so special that cannot be achieved with hard work ? Bro tell me.

Look man, I have worked my ass out bro . When I dropped out of school , my dad warned me about a particular cousin and their family and tried to pain them in a bad light . That cousin linked me up with someone in Lagos and I hussled in a ship day and night bro. Cold hammer my life . My whole life be life refrigerator and I was asthmatic and I had to do it. Ventolin inhaler and aminophylline injection go school for my body . You do not sit in the comfort of your home and pass judgement , people go throw a lot . My plan was to work in the ship for one year and make enough to go back to school as the pay was good. I worked with Arabs bro and during my one year, things started changing . A new set of Arabs where brought in and they where homo sexuals . Bros , I had to run as I was almost raped and they threatened to throw in the middle of the sea . The hussle to Bleep ass was real. I left there and went to work with Indians bro. They where better off but don’t pay much as they complain of government and no
Money but I had to manage. Some Nigerian guys had to present their ass to the Arabs to remain onboard. I worked with the Indians and I was able to save some cash bro . Whenever I am off, I had friend who sells wrist watches and necklaces and I told him the Indians I work with love wristwatches . I introduced him and he made his first supply which was about 370k . The Indians later discovered the watches where fake and I was used as the sacrificial lamb . I lost the job . I tried looking for a better job on board but I couldn’t get any . I then met a guy who was into oil theft for naval officers . He introduced me and asked me to start work in two weeks . I later got a news from his brother that he died and was killed by propeller . The little I gathered I wanted to cross into Europe throw Morocco and desert movement and I was about making the move when my pastor called and asked me to stop every movement that he had a vision and saw me dead. I then met a friend I knew in school and he told me about Georgia and that Georgia is a good country . I told him I had some money and wanted to do business . He convinced me to go to Georgia and buy clothes and sell and he also said he can link me up to Ankara turkey . I started that business bro and I was almost duped but I held my ground bro . Na Beijing person never eenter buy goods. Bros , men dey wey hussle legit . The only problem I have is family , they do not see my effort to help . I work my ass out just to help but they fucking don’t care .

I agree with the advice about moving away from them and being on your own. It is not all families that support and wish their own well. You are responsible for yourself first.

Your father is a selfish and bitter person. He has the guts to spend the money you give him on frivolities. You better allow him finish building his house by himself. That is not your responsibility.

Learn to say NO and don't bend. Giving like father Christmas will only wreck you.

It seems to be paining you more than the owner of the matter. Allow your guy to decide for himself and stop crying more than the bereaved.

Cherrybae:
I said it that our Chelsea coach is useless. How can he Bench Costa, Hazard and William in a crucial match like this.

I'm really in pains right now

He even benched Courtois also

sherylbakky:
And insult and begging are not ways of abusing SM?


These videos u ar talking about, OK, take for instance; Westerners upload porn to porn sites, n u av to visit that site before u cud watch porn...u definitely know wat u are looking for before going to that site ryt?

If Nigerians are allowed, som may upload their sex event here on Nairaland (ask d mods wot dey are going through if u think it's not tru)...tell me, who's abusing SM?

Overther, they know wot SM is meant for n dey use it appropriately. Here, it is not so.

Wen u ar talking abt streaming, uploading n downloading of immoral acts amg westerners...I think u sud refer to the abuse of internet as a whole n not "Social Media"

Not just immortal acts. They stream even their everyday lives and actions.

But it's ok. No need to go back and forth. My point is that Nigerians should not always be fingered as the bad or inappropriate ones. It's not peculiar to Nigerians

sherylbakky:
You cant deny d fact dat its common here babe...Probably cos of our much population.

But I replied dat way cos i noticed Op is laying emphasis on Nigerians (Nigerian babes 2 b specific)

We don't even come close to how a lot of westerners live their lives on SM. The average Nigerian doesn't even have enough data to keep streaming, uploading and downloading videos. We ain't even close.

Nigerians own is just to go to Instagram, NL, Twitter and insult people, beg, etc.

Nurrex:
There are two different sectors, Commissioned those that got employed with their degrees/master Degree, their pay is okay about 160k for Freshers, and the Non-commisioned the one the OP is trying to do, he only needs his SSCE, about (sorry) 55k for Freshers.

The OP should look at the kind of course he got, if its very lucrative, he should forget about Air Force, and be very prayerful. He can still apply for short service of 'Commisioned' after attaining his degree.

Exactly!! The university degree is better because the air force option is recruit. Short service is for someone who already has a university degree.

Op except it is the one that comes with a degree(the equivalent of NDA which is about 4yrs), it's better you go for the university degree

Nurrex:
There are two different sectors, Commissioned those that got employed with their degrees/master Degree, their pay is okay about 160k for Freshers, and the Non-commisioned the one the OP is trying to do, he only needs his SSCE, about (sorry) 55k for Freshers.

The OP should look at the kind of course he got, if its very lucrative, he should forget about Air Force, and be very prayerful. He can still apply for short service of 'Commisioned' after attaining his degree.

Exactly!! The university degree is better because the air force option is recruit. Short service is for someone who already has a university degree.

Op except it is the one that comes with a degree(the equivalent of NDA which is about 4yrs), it's better you go for the university degree.

sherylbakky:
When u abuse anytin, it becomes "bad", even d food u eat.

Social media is cool but Nigerians are abusing it...Gaskiya Moganna

Nigerians? Is it only Nigerians that abuse SM

Truechic:
My dear, I trust mine wella, it's my fellow women I don't trust!. When a woman is out for your man she will go to any length.
Sometimes you need to set subtle boundaries so they won't even bother. He is your man after all!.

Not by sending a message to a woman because she called him "dear". That is an insult from me to me. What is the lady is someone like me and bashes her? She would have received insult for nothing. And what if the lady was really interested in the husband...do you think a message like that will dissuade her?

We just have to work with wisdom and know how to act in a way that is counter productive.

Dinho20:
YES IS A CRIME
CALL ONLY YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND DEAR, NO OTHER PERSON

Life is not that hard for someone to send a message to someone because she called her husband "dear". Well it could be that the husband has a habit that she is trying to protect him from.

Truechic:
Hmm. An igbo proverb says "were Ehihie chows ewe ojii" translated as 'make hay while the sun shines', ....

Worry about marrying someone that you trust. Don't worry about hay and sunshine...they are fine where they are.

Omoluabi16:
If you are not ready to drop your maiden name, then remain in your father's house forever. Why are we Even discussing this? All this useless feminist who should be focusing on women emancipation and core issues like Rape, FGM and trafficking will be trying to prove what they are not. They think men are their biggest problem. Their wise mothers and Grandmothers got on peacefully and were fulfilled. Rubbish.

That's why I don't buy this feminism thing especially as it seems to have to do with turning against men and making it seem like there is a competition between the two sexes.

Adopting husband's surname should not be a debate issue sincerely. Why am I holding on to my father's name? When it's not even my own name

midnighter:
Lol. you try o

Hope he appreciates it

Yeah...lol

ONNYX:
Not funny at all.

Indeed that is how it should be.

But then, I am not surprised, your moniker did you in. It exposed you completely.

You come from the part of the country that truly understands the concept of marriage.
And you are likely to remain married till death and you almost always get your way in
all things but without as much as a confrontation.

Indeed you have been taught well and some of you graduated 'magna cum laud'.

Bravo!

Actually, in my place, we bear our father's first name as our middle name...as per me and all my siblings had the same middle name(including my mum).

When we get married and drop the surname, it makes little sense to hold on to the middle name. My sisters also bear their husband's first names as their middle name.

jeff1607:
wait till you get married, having invested your everything in a union, ladies love already made things , even if the man ain't interested ladies are always fond of trying their luck


when something is of value to you, you would protect it. what's bad saying happy birthday sir ? of all the words in the world she chose 'dear' haba! fear God na

if the man was less successful she wouldn't have said dear.


it is social media for crying out loud when others from his extended family sees a non relative make such statement it rubs off the wife or partner and they loose face.

that 'dear' you see as small can cause alot of issues,now imagine he has grown ups as kids, the kids would run their father down, keep your dear for your beloved

only those who put family first would understand

You have to understand that the way people use "dear" these days is not what to raise eyebrows for. People need to relax and take a chill pill.

I am married and it is not a big deal. When there is trust, a wife won't have to keep looking for what is not lost. My husband has a lot of female friends that call him dear, sweetheart, etc. I choose my battles. There's no time for unnecessary jealously.

She must sleep in a police cell, pay for hospital bills and damages and lose her job at the school

midnighter:
In the past i was adamant that i would keep it or double it-as per Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Chimamanda Adichie- but i have changed my mind. Its you that makes your name, not the other way around. no need to cling onto it unnecessarily

The lawyer is exaggerating though, im sure maiden name retention does not lead to divorce. it depends who the people are

Its not really here or there. in my place (and i guess other igbo places) theyll always call you by your fathers name, whether married or not. Guys on this forum keep saying that our mothers and grandmothers made better wives. So now what?

Its more of a superficial issue. if the man insists, just change it because there are more important battles to be fought down the line

.

My case is even funny. I didn't just drop my surname. I also dropped my middle name and answer his first name as my middle name...lol.

jeff1607:
I wonder how the people bashing the woman would feel if a man calls their wives darling or honey on her birthday

So she should go through his Facebook, Instagram, twitter, WhatsApp messages, texts searching for who used an endearment on her husband and harrass all of them abi? She is jobless and childish.

If she's married to my husband, she will just die for nothing because "dear" is small

donstan18:
This is not insecurity from the man's wife--It's common sense.

I see nothing but a home breaker politely pretending not to have intentions towards the man.

Nice confronting from the man's wife. I like it when people are bold and straightforward on issues, just like the she confronted her, before it turns to another thing.

.

On the contrary, I think the wife is very insecure. Does she scroll through her husband's timeline to look for side chicks?

I would confront my husband rather than harrass all his female friends like a police dog. Besides these days everyone calls everyone "dear" for it to cause this kind of drama

chiipink:
I don't think so,
She was just being proactive and protective.
And it's good the other lady explained politely too

The other lady has patience for bullshit. I would have told her to get the hell out of my inbox and deal with her insecurities by herself and not bother me. What nonsense!

Macgreat:
1. A Nigerian feminist can not Woo a man; they don't have the balls
2. A Nigerian feminist can not take up the check after a date; they want to be pampered.
3. A Nigerian feminist can not kill ordinary cockroach.
4. A Nigerian feminist can not pay groom price; her village will finish her, and she wanna feel valued.
5. A Nigerian feminist can not stop watching Telemundo or zeeworld.
6. A Nigerian feminist can not stop gossiping about Men.
7. A Nigerian feminist can not do without Men.
8. A Nigerian feminist can not stay without se.x.
9. A Nigerian feminist can not stay quiet.
10. A Nigerian feminist will not stop criticizing Men.
11. Add yours

Lol @Zeeworld and Telemundo

Too much makeup... outrageous even

But why are you letting her opinion ride yours concerning your life partner? If you really love a guy and you want to marry him, you shouldn't let your mum discourage you.

If you are smart enough, you will see that her reasons are not anything to take seriously. You need to wise up and take your stand

A good woman is an asset to her husband.

Miles300:
I Complimented the lady who interviewed that she looks good and she was like ooh thank you and u as well !! 10 min after I left the interview I got an email asking me when I will like to start my Jod !!! Now this is a customer service job interview that I even went putting on a 3 quarter while in Nigeria we attach so much importance to formalities !! Most interview in Europe are sometimes interactive so u don’t feel tensed .

In Nigeria, it is the opposite. It is like facing a disciplinary committee. The interviewers just make you feel like you are being scrutinized to bring out the worst in you

Namady:
Sadly she’s the last born. Sorry lad

Sadly? That should be a plus for you . No younger siblings to add to the equation.

Oyindidi:
Learn to tolerate your partner as love alone can't keep a marriage. You're both coming from a different background so study your likes and dislike so as to live in harmony.

Don't deny yourselves some good romance, its bonds couples.

Don't sleep with your kids on same bed when they start coming

The last point is very important but I noticed that most parents do it. For me, from the day my baby left the hospital, she slept in her own bed. There are exceptions...when she wakes up and is uncomfortable. But as soon as she falls asleep, she's is back in her bed most times.

Good advice